The LoreF.A.Q.

[Underage]
Hello, are there any users?

[Chorus]
At the far bottom page
in the very last row
where the post are slow, and conversation’s low
and as words hit the screen, a cancer may grow…

*cough cough*

is the text of the now banned LoreFAQ.
And deep in the forum list, people say,
if you look deep enough you can see, today,
where the LoreFAQ one typed
and ranted and griped
before somebody banned the poor LoreFAQ away.

What was the LoreFAQ?
And what did he see?
And why did the janitors do it for free
at the far bottom page in the very last row
The old Goldstein still lurks here.
Skype him! He knows.

[Goldstein]
I’ve been watching in silence, and sadness and fear
So I’ll tell you my tale, just don’t say I’m still here
It all started way back, when a reboot had sprung,
When these threads weren’t a cancer
And games were still…
FUN

Way back in the days when the Kickstarters flocked
and the fans still had hope
and their games were not mocked,
and the song of the Vox-a-bits rang in delight…
*WA-HOO, WA-HOO (Bing bing)*

One morning, I came to this glorious site.
And I first saw the cash!
That Kickstarter cash!
The stretch-goals and plans from that Kickstarter cash!
Story modes, trophy stash, fan creates, time n’ dash, sixty-four mode…
And an 8-player smash.

And posting their work, I saw THICC Wai-fu-etts
fapping about to their THICC Wai-fu-sets
as their pledges were saw, by the core design vets.

From the nipponese springs
came the ear bleeding sound
of the Weeba-rees screeching
while splashing around.
*CUE CHORUS OF REES*


But that cash! That cash!
That Kickstarter cash!
All my life I'd been searching
For such a fine stash.

My fans were ecstatic
to see what I’d do.
so I pulled out my phone
and I called out my crew.

In no time at all, I had built a small group.
To focus our plans and help stay in the loop.
And the moment they whined, well, my tail quickly tucked
So I made our first beta, and added a muck!

Consensus was cautious but somewhat lukewarm!
Update.
a series of PMs began to swarm
all from the same admin. His icon was male.
Describe him?...Well his complexion was certainly pale.

He was shortish. And youngish.
And frailish. And nerdy.
And he typed with a tone
that was sharpish and wordy.

[LoreF.A.Q.]
Mister!
I am the LoreFAQ. I speak for the fans.
And since we backed the game I have fears for your plans.
You can’t go about changing styles willy-nilly
This is mobile tier trash and these concepts look silly!

[Goldstein]
LoreFAQ, I said. There's no cause for alarm.
The gameplay’s intact. I am doing no harm.
I am being quite useful. This here, is a muck!
A fine little muck from this pink haired cuck.

We have blacks. We have gays. We have girls who are trans.
So we know what the people will want from our plans.
And they’re testing the levels! Okay! That’s too hard.
Is this model to THICC? Fine catch! What a card!

[LoreF.A.Q]
“Mister!” he said, “That’s a low spot to stoop.
Your mucking your game
For the wrong kind of group!”
But the very next minute I proved him he was wrong.
For, the very next minute, a post came along,
and he thought that the update I posted was great.
And he happily backed us with twelve fifty-eight.
Ka-ching!

[Goldstein]
You see Mr. LoreFAQ, You poor sweaty geek!
Statistics will show what the people will seek.
[LoreF.A.Q.]
I repeat I repeat sir.
I speak for the fans!

[Goldstein]
We need cameos.
Shovel Knight...maybe Sans.

Type, type, ticka-ticketty type. Type, type, ticka-ticketty type.
Code. Code. Code
Bug, bug, bug. Run!

Code. Code. Code
Bug, bug, bug. Run!

Type, type, ticka-ticketty type.

Bug, bug, bug. Run!

Type, type, ticka-ticketty type.
Bug, bug, bug. Run!

Code. Code. Code
Bug, bug, bug. Run!

Code. Code. Code
Bug, bug, bug. Run!
Run!
Run!
Run!

[LoreF.A.Q.]
I am the LoreFAQ I speak for the fans
*TYPE
TYPE*
But you seem to ignore us in all of your plans!
*TYPE
TYPE
TYPE*

But I’m also in charge of the THICC Wai-fu-etts
who fap in their dens with their THICC Wai-fu-sets
Now thanks to the censored and tamed redesign
The artwork they’re making has reached a decline
They loved posting here, but I can’t make them stay!
Good luck boys, he said, and he sent them away.

[Goldstein]
And I the Goldstein looked sad as I saw them all go,
but business is business, and business must GROW!

Code. Code. Code
Bug, bug, bug. Run!

Code. Code. Code
Bug, bug, bug. Run!

[LoreF.A.Q.]
Goldstein, you’re banning critiques left and right,
my poor Weeba-rees can hardly fight!
And the beta released, still has crashes when played
Now the Vox-a-bits claim that they must be repaid!

[Goldstein]
And then I got riled.
I got terribly riled.
And I yelled at the LoreFAQ, Now listen here, Child!
All you do is type, type and go, Vile! Vile! Vile! Vile!
Well, I did the work here, so I'm telling you
I intend to go on doing just what I do!

turning MORE Kickstarter bucks into mucks
So ratings will never, EVER, EVER suck!

And at that very moment, we reached 12 o’clock!
The once set embargo was free from its lock.
So quick, I had searched what the critics would call,
“The very worst Kickstarter game of them all.”

Now all that was left for the sad folks to see
was a big broken fandom...
the LoreFAQ...
and me.

[Lore.F.A.Q]
The LoreFAQ said nothing. Just sent a Wojak...
then went to offline and never came back.

[Goldstein]
Yes.
He scrubbed his OWN posts, and took leave of this mess
leaving one, single word in his profile...
UNLESS.

That was long, long ago.
but now that you're here,
the word of the LoreFAQ seems perfectly clear.
UNLESS someone like you
cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better.
It's not.

[Underage]
W-why are you coughing?

[Goldstein]
I HAVE LUNG CANCER YOU LITTLE MASHUGANA
THE THREADS GAVE ME LITERAL CANCER
JUST…
Just take this.

[Chorus]
It's the game’s beta code.
The first that was made.
The first that was tested, the first one that played.

Log out, learn to code. Change a few names.
Keep it from C&Ds. Make a new game!
Grow a franchise. And protect it, in the name of your fans.
No matter how small you are now.
The future’s in your hands.