/bootleg/ Fiddly Twang

Jun 21st, 2018
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  1. By redwritefag
  3. >You sigh, shifting your car into park. Leaning your head back into your seat's headrest, you ponder whether or not your life's headed in the right direction
  4. >You work at the city's train station, earning quite a good wage at the expense an aching body loading cargo
  5. >You exit your vehicle, walking out of the parking lot next to your apartment. The cool night wind blows against your tired face
  6. >You trudge through the painful flight of stairs, three floors up to your room
  7. Hergh...
  8. >You unlock your door, entering, not bothering with anything except the chair to your computer. Located inside your bedroom of course
  9. >Your apartment room isn't very big. A living room kitchen mix when you first enter, leading into a hallway that branches out into the single bedroom, the bathroom, and the washroom/storage room
  10. >You load up your favorite online board, where memes are birthed. Something's gotta keep you entertained. You're quite lonely, ever since you moved out of your folk's
  11. "... This shit again..."
  12. >You roll your eyes, seeing that the trend of advanced AI pony companions are STILL the craze
  13. >Expensive. Shady. ... Oddly attractive
  14. >You remember that your handsome check comes in today. That, along with what you save off to the side, leaves quite enough money to--
  15. "No. I'm not gonna blow half my fucking savings on... this... "
  16. >You sigh. Your hands falls onto your mouse as you click some anon's hyperlink to the manufacturer's website
  17. >Yup. Shady. Just as you expected. The pictures displaying the products are quite intruiging, but the website looks poorly coded and designed
  18. ...
  19. >You check your online bank account in a new tab, like if it were second nature
  20. "... Mmrh. I do have 'some' money to blow... I guess."
  21. >You tab back to the shady website. You aren't too familiar with My Little Pony, as you've only seen chumps post about it online, and save for a handful of episodes you've seen
  22. >You hesistantly scroll through the merchandise. It looks quite tempting, and the fact that they're ponies doesn't really bother you. Could be worse. Could be a fox wearing panties or some shit
  23. >You find a particular pony that chatches your eyes. Fiddly Twang. She's more expensive than some of the other options here but isn't the most expensive
  24. She's... cute. Hmm.
  25. >You say aloud without thinking about it
  26. >After too long spend pondering the decision, you finally move your mouse to the checkout button
  27. "Welp. There' goes 15k."
  28. >You feel a pit in your stomach forming after the purchase. You feel like you've made a mistake.
  29. >The shady website states that it'll be there by tomorrow afternoon, no later than the evening
  30. "Least they got some high priority shipping."
  31. >You lift your tired body off of your chair. You're ready to retire for the night
  32. >You give yourself a quick shower before slumping into your bed, laying on your belly
  33. "... Hegh... don't bother stressing about it anymore, Anon. You've already done the deed."
  34. >The morning comes. You're up and at'em after a good night's rest during the early hours of 6 in the morning. Today's your last day before your three day break. You're quite thrilled
  35. >Tossing on your uniform after a hearty bacon, eggs, and ham breakfast, you're out the door and down the stairs to your car
  36. >You barely remembered the pricey purchase you made last night, but now's no time to contemplate it. You start the engine and get moving towards your tough job
  37. >Your day goes by without a hitch. The load today was quite easy, needing only to lift easy stuff like two-by-fours and some fibreglass
  38. >You wipe the sweat off your forehead as you clock out, giving your workbuddy a fist bump before heading off to your car
  39. "Finally. I get to see where all the money went."
  40. >You drive off, a little faster than the speed limit. You're nervous and excited at the same time. Who knows? Maybe it will do your laundry for you. Cook you breakfast. Clean your room
  41. >You park in your usual parking spot, wasting no time. You practically preform stadiums heading up the stairs. You stop at the lip of the third flight of stairs, looking down the hall to your door
  42. >There it is. A large cardboard box. Ducktapped in an overcompensating manner.
  43. >You walk slowly down the hall, greeting the box with a soft touch
  44. >It's bigger than you thought. The box meets you at your bellybutton
  45. >You unlock your door, pushing the suprisingly light box inside
  46. >You leave it in the center of your living room, closing your door and locking it
  47. "Phew. Alright. Let's see now..."
  48. >A quick trip to your storage room gets you the necessary tools to open this oddly packaged box
  49. >The main upside of your physically rigorous job is that it leaves you stronger than the average joe. Opening the box was, even then, an annoying task. Layers and layers of duct tape. The box itself was oddly grippy
  50. >You finally get it open. You peek inside and see...
  51. >A shit ton of packing peanuts. Like, almost overflowing the box. Atop rests a CD and a strange USB cable packed inside a plastic baggy
  52. >You take those out and set them aside, digging through the mass of peanuts
  53. 'BAP'
  54. >You hit something
  55. "Bingo."
  56. >You reach both hands in, taking out a rather small box, compared to the one it was shipped in. The small box is black with decals all over it
  57. >Fiddly Twang, Country Mare!
  58. >Some disclamers, some age warnings, some art of the pony herself
  59. >You sit down on your sofa with it on your lap. >You carefully open the box by hand, seeing as you don't want to cut anything, or leave the box intact in case you want a refund
  60. >You get it open. You look inside. You're ready. You're not ready. You're everything at once.
  61. ... W- ... What the...?
  62. >Inside, you see this... little football like... thing. It has terribly washed out colors. It looks like it was stitched last minute
  63. T... This... No. No fucking way. No fucking way!
  64. >You set the box down quickly and book it to your room, sitting on your computer. You bring up the board, hoping to find that one anon's hyperlink
  65. >There it is. You click it. You're sweating beads
  66. >404 Error! Not found
  67. ... ... ...
  68. >You slump back into your chair. You facepalm with both hands, dragging them down your face
  69. ... Son of a bitch, man. Just...
  70. >You glance at the error again
  71. Son of a bitch...
  72. >You grunt in annoyance as you pull yourself up, walking back to the little disgrace you downed so much money on
  73. >You sit down on the sofa again, taking the little pony out of the box
  74. >You hold it infront of you with both hands. It even feels cheap
  75. ...
  76. >You sigh, setting it down next to you. You get the little CD it came with. You also look at the odd USB cable it came with
  77. >It's definitely a USB cable, but the connector on the other end is one you've never seen before. You reckon its specific to the pony itself
  78. >Pony, cable, and CD in hand, you make a defeated walk towards your computer. You wonder if this shit will give you a virus
  79. >You don't seem to care at this point. You spend so much money in this thing, you might as well try to do something with before you destroy it
  80. >You set the pony down next to your tower before hesitantly taking the CD and put it in your disk drive
  81. >You then take the cable and plug it into your computer. You look for the plug that leads for the pony
  82. >You find it located at the back of the pony's head, under its really low-quality cow...thing hat
  83. >You toss the hat off and plug it in. When you do, a window appear on your computer
  84. >It seems to be instructions and more disclaimers
  85. "Software will now install. Pony must charge before full use. Charge will take up to 6 hours. Click Continue to proceed"
  86. >You lazily move your mouse to the Continue button. You half-expect your computer to just explode right there
  87. >It miraculously doesn't. A little green bar starts to fill
  88. H-H-Hello! Howdy! H-Hola! K-Ko-Konnichiwa!
  89. >You almost shit yourself from the sudden outburst from the robot next to you. It's eyes suddenly light up, flicker a little
  90. P-Privet! Ni-Hao! Please tell me your language of preference! Porfavor, dime tu lenguaje de preferencia! Gengo na no ni ichiba--
  91. ENGLISH!
  92. >You shout, before it has a chance to ramble on
  93. ... ... English! Is this correct?
  94. YES!
  95. >You shout at it again, unsure if you should be
  96. >It's eyes shut off again, and it seems to be off
  97. ...
  98. >You sigh, looking at the little failure sitting standing next to you
  99. ... Fifteen-hundred. For this piece of shit. This IS NOTHING like what was advertised! How many people has this company ripped off!? Fucking-- Aaagh! Mrrgh!
  100. >You claw at your hair, gritting your teeth
  101. >It's eyes flicker on again
  102. >You look at it with a judgmental look
  103. >It looks like it... frowns... for a second
  104. >You reel back
  105. >It's eyes turn off
  106. >You continue looking at it, unsure if what you saw... is what you saw...
  107. >You continue to stare at the little bot for a few seconds longer, still wondering if your eyes were playing tricks on you. It's not active right now, is it?
  108. >It seems to be off. Maybe it was some software being booted up or something. There's no way it was a provoked reaction...
  109. >Right?
  110. >You glance down at your computer's clock to show that it's already 23:08. Not that you have anything to wake up for, your rest days have just begun. But you're on a waiting game with this little pony right now
  111. >You look towards the green bar filling in the window on your PC. It's not even a tenth of the way up
  112. ... Hehh...
  113. >You return your attention to the still pony. It has a little smile as its 'default' facial expression it seems
  114. > ... Probably isn't even capable of genuine emotion anyways, you think
  115. >With a stretch and a yawn, some bones popping in your back, you sit up and decide to leave your PC running over night
  116. >A quick shower, a small late dinner, and a lot of thinking later, you sink into your bed, chest facing up
  117. >The only thing that provides light in your bedroom is your computer monitor. You usually keep your blinds closed, regardless of being on the third floor
  118. >With a contemplative exhale, you close your eyes and hope the exterior was the worst of your purchase. Perhaps you're not looking at what's within
  119. ...
  120. >You hope that there's anything within at all
  122. >Your eyes crack open slowly
  123. >You inhale deeply as you stretch your aching body. Work really puts stress on your muscles. Good thing it only comes to the benefit of your health
  124. >You lazily rise, rubbing your eyes as you sit on the edge of your bed>Glancing over to your computer screen, you see that the green bar has filled. There's some text that appeared as a notification on the bottom right of your screen
  125. >You get up, shaking off your sleep as you walk towards your computer
  126. >You plop down at your chair and examine the news. The little notification on the bottom right...
  127. "Charging complete! Please unplug the charger cable."
  128. >The box with the filling green bar now has the Continue button flashing blue
  129. > With a sigh, you click it. The box now reads...
  130. "Congratulations! Your ponybot is now ready for full use! Upon exiting the installer, the pony will activate. Thank you for choosing @#%%#?$!"
  131. >The message kind of intimidates you a bit. The company seems to be... redacted in some way. And you're feeling anxious about your pony actually "waking up"
  132. "... Ergh..."
  133. >You close the installer. You then unplug the charging cable from the back of your Fiddly Twang. It remains motionless...
  134. >Its eyes light up, glowing bright cyan
  135. >Its 'off resting face' now forms into that generic smile you saw on the packaging
  136. >It looks around for a second, silent as a mouse. Not mechanical hoo-ha making sounds in her systems
  137. >Its eyes lock onto you
  138. >You're starstruck when the smile of the little ponybot fades away
  139. >She... frowns a bit. Looking almost resentful
  140. >Your face contorts unintentionally to a face of visible dicomfort
  141. >Suddenly, like if the little pony noticed this, she speaks up
  142. H-Hrrr- Howdy! I'm your new... Fiddly Twang!
  143. >The most forced smile appears on the little mare's face... it's bathed in... shame
  144. >Your heart starts to sink
  145. "Wait! No! She isn't capable of feeling. She's just a robot! Right? Right!?"
  146. >You clear you throat, your sleepiness jumping out of you like scared frog
  147. Eherm. Hey. I'm Anon. Just call me that from now on.
  148. >She little pony nods twice, that soulless smile still plastered on her face
  149. ... U-Um... are you... alright?
  150. >Your question seems to take Fiddly by surprise, as her face shifts to a startled one
  151. F-Fine as a s-spring day! Anon!
  152. >There's that smile again...
  153. "... This can't be real..."
  154. >You decide to just put your cards on the table
  155. ... You don't look fine. It looks like someone made you eat a lemon before forcing you into a photo shoot.
  156. >You cross your arms, waiting for a reply. Her depressing smile resists
  157. >It resists
  158. >It resists
  159. >It resists...
  160. >It fails
  161. >It finally drops. Her eyes stop looking at you and fall towards the gound
  162. I woke up for the first time... I was really really happy.
  163. >She smiles solemnly
  164. And the first thing I hear in my operating time was... that I was shit. A rip off.
  165. >Her smile grows slightly wider, her eyes squinting
  166. "No... no. Oh, fuck nononono, she can't cry, right? Please tell me she can't cry. This isn't..."
  167. ...
  168. ...
  169. "... Fuck."
  170. >A black hole has formed in your insides. You feel you eating away at yourself
  171. >You know for certain that coming up with some stupid lie would just make things worse
  172. >You lean back in your chair, holding your head
  173. I-I'm sorry fer not being what you expected...
  174. >She says in a quiet voice. Did you not know who it was speaking, you'd mistake her for a human female
  175. >Your soul is frozen
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