Gifts

a deflated football
figgy pudding
a salty surprise
a photo of a balding middle aged man in roller skates
boogers
an oversized lollipop
bees
Harry Potter books
a Bop-It
authentic Mexican cuisine
a goblin
chapstick
a bucket of hot cheese
a really cool hat
tangled Slinkies
a bomb
emotions
a catapult
balls
a flamingo
an Oompa-Loompa
Bill Nye the Science Guy videos
a Hot Pocket
Lunchables
a falcon with a Mario cap on its head
a ghost
a zesty breakfast burrito
GoGurt
excessive hair gel
a five-dollar footlong
AXE Body Spray
explosions
a balanced breakfast
pictures of chickens
gummy bears
candy corn
a Big Mac
an old magazine of Time that's been in a doctor's office for five years
envy
balloon animals that look like dicks
a bucket of ice
a bottle of pills
a sponge
Girl Scout cookies
69 cents
a hair tie
a bright pink pair of boxers
a Kirby plushie
Just For Men
a baby gecko
a skateboard
clown makeup
a handful of pumpkin seeds
a rainbow bandana
the Falchion
a Fire Flower
the Triforce
a green balloon
their favorite video game
an oversized textbook
a World's Best Dad mug
a segway
a crossbow
a Stanford Tree mascot's costume
the Monado
Radical-6
the decisive piece of evidence
a golf club
a Brave Axe
a half-eaten donut
Monopoly money
a 20 pound dumbbell
a Christmas stocking with a picture of Naruto on it
a blitzball
a broken lightbulb
fake maple syrup
real maple syrup
a puppy
a rechargeable flashlight
an envelope full of glitter
a lead pipe
a foam gun
a map leading to the Bermuda Triangle
a wooden chair
a trumpet
a skeleton
a bowl of Frosted Flakes
a backpack full of whipped cream
a bag of Goldfish
Thor's Hammer
a lightsaber
a pair of yellow overalls
a banana peel
an Easter Egg
a Funhouse mirror
approximately 4,636 pieces of Goldfish
a bag of Doritos
a box with nothing in it
cotton balls
a pot of chocolate candy that looks like gold
a pompom
an eggshell
hair clippings
a shoebox filled with pictures of them
a cake in the shape of their head
a bottle of wine
a trashcan
some old receipts
a broken heart
unmarked, crisp dollar bills
the gun used to commit a series of homicides last week
a magazine where cutouts of their own face have been taped to the models
a roasted acorn
a cat
a dog
a federal report detailing all of their personal life
a lot of love
a taco
something weird
something strange
a bowl of bacon
a strip of bacon
a robot cat
a robot dog
a quiz sheet for the multiplication tables
a stolen trophy
a half-eaten burrito
some questionable VHS tapes
a half-eaten slice of pie
the most amazing looking pie
dank memes
llamas
a llama
a koala
an angry screaming frog
an oven (to pee in)
a clone of themself
heatstroke
frostbite
a really cool doll of themself with real hair
an electric shock
the Sun, Moon and stars
the entire galaxy
a fleet of warships
a free flight around the world
a free direct flight to themself
someone in chat
a small collectible model of themself
a lock of their own hair
a voodoo doll
the claw of an ancient dragon god
the scale of a mythical beast
an angry screaming frog
a portal to an alternate dimension where everyone looks like them
a burrito tree
a money tree
a taco tree
a broken keyboard where the only working letters are E, N, J and I
a wolf that eats emotions
an emotionally unstable love affair
an emotional rollercoaster
a feels trip
a trip down memory lane
an ice-cream pizza
meth
hope
a failed test
a treasure chest of pirated DVDs
their own MTV channel
exactly one Kardashian of their own choosing
a country song
a yummy, delicious meal from Applebee's
an Applebee's gift card
all the time in the world
as many booty slaps as they desire
a wine glass
some meat
exactly one cent
a puzzle that seems to never end
a Swiss bank account filled with laundered money
a handful of grass
a lump of coal
a night to remember
instant regret
instant coffee
a warrant for their arrest
an award for 'Best Dressed Person In Chat'
an award for 'Most Promising Human In Chat'
an award for 'Most Beautiful Human In Chat'
a skateboard
an exotic holiday
their real birth certificate
their own private island
their own planet
a wave of compliments
their heart, forever and truly
their MySpace account
awkward screenshots of themself
their nudes
their number
intense constipation
intense heartburn
nachos
tacos
a single nacho they found in their back-pocket
a cold burrito
a Hawaiian pizza
a cold, topless pizza