Fire Hans Writefaggotry

It was a lowly private who first spotted the ships.  Peitr was his name.  He was a young man new to the Queen's army, stationed on the castle walls with a telescope in hand.  “I suppose if I had to choose,” he said one afternoon, “I'd pick the princess.”

“Fool,” said his compatriot, a shorter, stouter man with a wide beard.  “The queen would be better.”

“Because she's not spoken for, yes?” said Peitr.

“Not just that!” the stouter man said.  “She's also suffered, been hurt a little, and come out stronger for it.  She carries Arendelle on her shoulders.  That's the sort of woman I want bearing my children.  Good, strong stock.”  He grinned toothily.  “Of course, she can also guarantee that the pillows in our bed will always be cool.”

“Yes, well, I-” Peitr's voice died as his telescope stopped scanning.  He reached to twist the lenses, leaning so far forward he was in danger of falling off the wall.  “Ships.”

“What, now?” said his companion.

“Ships!  Ships, you old pervert!” Peitr cried, slamming his fist into his companion's gut.  “Get out your scope and look!”

His companion did.  His companion's faced turned pale.  “I'll alert the garrison.  Get to the queen!”

__________________________

“... and then Olaf did the most hilarious impression of the bishop,” Anna said, propped up on pillows in the throne room.

“Mm-hmm,” Elsa said contently, leaning into her throne, her nose stuffed into a book.  It was a new work from the continent, a treatise on warfare.  She didn't normally go in for such subjects, but this Klausewitz made many compelling arguments.

“Oh, I have to tell you the great idea Kristoff and I had!” Anna said brightly, hopping to her feet.  “We were down in the kitchen watching the cooks make dessert, and Kristoff noticed that they had one big vat for dark chocolate-”

“Mm-hmm.”

“And one big vat for white chocolate...”

“Mm-hmm.”

“So it suddenly hit me.  What if you combined the two?  What if you mixed dark chocolate and white chocolate together?” Anna grinned at her sister.  “Wouldn't that be amazing?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Anna's face slowly collapsed.  “You... you're not listening to a word I say, are you?”

“Wouldn't mixing white chocolate and dark chocolate just make regular chocolate?” Elsa said, looking up from her book.

Anna crossed her arms.  “I suppose if you want to get techni-”

“My Queen!” the doors to the throne room burst open.  Elsa immediately sat up straight, putting her book aside.  A young soldier-- Peitr, she knew his name was--ran straight into the throne room, not bothering with the sentries on either side of the doors.  “My Queen, ships approaching the harbor!”

“Ships are always approaching, soldier,” Elsa said.

“These are warships, milady!” Peitr said, making Anna gape.  “They wield heavy cannon and powder!  What's more, they fly the flag of the Southern Isles!”

Anna and Elsa's faces contorted into almost identical masks of fury.  The room's temperature dipped by several degrees.  Some of the soldiers could suddenly see their breath.  Elsa rose from her throne.  “Take me to the wall.”

_________________________________

Peitr lead the Queen and the Princess to the spot where, by now, dozens of soldiers were crowded, all of them wielding telescopes and peering out to sea.  “The Queen approaches!” one of the soldiers cried, and suddenly all the men stood at attention.

“At ease,” Elsa said with a wave of her hand.  “When did the ships appear?”

“They crossed the horizon probably fifteen minutes ago,” said one of the soldiers.  “They'll be in the harbor in another ten minutes at this rate.”

“Put out two ships to the harbor, but don't pass the towers,” Elsa said.

“My Queen?” one of the soldiers asked.

Elsa's expression grew cold and stony.  “Send additional ships with soldiers to mount the towers and prepare to receive emissaries,” she said.  “No warship will enter Arendelle's port.  I shall see to that... personally.”

The soldiers all knew what she meant.  They pulled away, giving her her own space at the wall.  Two of them sped off to carry out the Queen's orders.  Elsa trained her eyes at the towers, confident that nothing, not even a small schooner, was in the passage.  Then she stretched out her hand.

For most of her life, Elsa had been frightened of how little control she had over her magic.  Now, it was a little frightening how easily she controlled it.  With barely a prickle of her mind, the sea shot up in a wave that froze as it rose.  It filled the gap and overflowed the walls around the towers, cracking audibly as it turned to solid ice.  Within a minute, a massive wall of ice blockaded the harbor, shutting out all passage from the outside.

Elsa lowered her hand.  “Now,” she said, turning to her soldiers, “we'll await the inevitable emissary.  When they see they can't enter the harbor of their own accord, they'll be much more amenable to talking.”

“Elsa!” Anna cried.  “Look!”

Elsa whirled around with a swirl of her cape.  A huge circle of warm orange was growing in the middle of the ice wall.  And Elsa could feel it.  She could feel her ice, such a strange but vital part of herself, being worn away by the great rush of... heat?

Finally, the middle of the wall was blasted apart by a single, titanic torrent... of fire.  The lead ship passed through the massive gap that had been melted through.

“What?” Elsa gasped.  She snatched a telescope from a nearby soldier.  Anna did the same, and the two sisters trained their spyglasses on the lead ship.  And they both saw the same thing at the same time.

“No!” Anna cried.

“It's-” Elsa started.

On the deck of the lead warship, Hans leaned against the railing of the poop deck.  His eyes were fixed on the castle laying in the bay.  He snapped his fingers over and over.  And with each snap, a tiny tongue of flame would appear between his thumb and middle finger.  His hazel eyes narrowed.

“All the ice in the world won't keep you from me, Snow Queen.”

______________________________________

Eventually, messages were exchanged.  Arendelle learned that the Prince of the Southern Isles wished to engage in private dialogue with Arendelle's Queen.  And the dialogue was to be truly private.  The Queen would have to appear alone, “except for such escorts as she can produce from her own strength.”  The Prince would follow the same terms.

After some considerable thought, the Queen of Arendelle chose to accept the Prince of the Southern Isles' invitation.  This was done over and against the loud protestations of the Princess Regent, who repeatedly inveighed that the Queen should 'freeze him into the next age.'  And against all the wishes of her staff, counselors, and generals, the Queen agreed to meet the Prince alone on one of the islands in the middle of Arendelle's harbor.

So Elsa found herself floating across the water on an iceberg of her own creation.  The island got closer and closer, only filling her mind with larger and larger questions.  She knew who had made the fire.  She knew who it had to be, even if she couldn't really explain why.  But how?  Why?  Why him?  And what was he doing here?

The iceberg cracked against the dock of the island.  It had once been a retreat for the royal family, but it had fallen into disrepair since the death of Elsa's parents.  Walking down the wooden planking, Elsa waved her hands and summoned two colossi of ice to flank her, hulking, frozen beasts with icy teeth and icy claws.  She ascended the stone steps to the plateau of the island, where the old house had been.

She didn't have to get far at all before Hans appeared.  He came sauntering out of the forest, that cocksure smile on his face, the same smile Anna had been so taken with.  And Elsa had to admit, he was very handsome.  He was dressed in a little more red than he had worn when she had known him, just a hint of crimson on his lapels and boots.  This didn't immediately suggest what Elsa knew to be true.  But it hinted, and she had learned to read hints well.

Hans smiled beautifully and bowed low when she approached.  “All hail the Snow Queen!”

“Prince Hans,” she said primly.

“Your majesty,” Hans said.  “You look better than ever.  It's nice to see you not so deathly pale.”

“No flattery, Prince Hans,” said Elsa.  “State your intentions and let's be down to business.”

Hans' hazel eyes flickered.  “Who are you to dictate the pace of this negotiation?”

“I didn't know we were negotiating,” Elsa said.  She glanced back at her colossi.  “And at any rate, I'm the one with monsters at my beck and call.  Unless you can match them, I think I have the edge.”

That was a bait.  Elsa knew it.  So did Hans.  But damned if he didn't take it.  He spread his arms wide and gave his fingers a loud snap-

And two torrents of fire shot into the air, billowing and spreading and rising.  They broadened, then stretched back down, until they finally settled into wavering shapes.  They were hulking, broad-shouldered things that floated in the air, like huge, armored ghosts.  Their eyes were a brighter, whiter fire than the orange and crimson that composed their bodies, and they eyed Elsa with what she knew was malice.

“There,” said Hans.  “Now we've both got monsters.”

“Hans...” Elsa said carefully.  “I don't understand... how?”

“Why ask me how?” Hans said.  “I could ask the same of you.  How do you do what you do, Snow Queen?”

Elsa scowled.  “Don't call me that.”

“Why not?  It's what everyone else calls you.  Everyone outside of Arendelle.”

“What?” Elsa said, her colossi shifting nervously.  “Outside?  What do you mean?”

“Oh my,” Hans said, “you mean you haven't heard?  Spent too much time with Anna and her peasant betrothed?”  He grinned.  “How is she, nowadays?”

“Don't change the subject,” Elsa snapped.  “What do you mean, outside?”

“So you don't have enough ears beyond Arendelle,” said Hans.  “You've got quite the nasty reputation in the international community.  Rumors have been flying from ships and letters.  They say you're a witch and a demon.   That you're an affront to God and man.”

“I don't care what the rest of the world thinks,” Elsa said.  “My sister loves me.  My kingdom loves me.  That's enough.”

“Is it?” Hans asked.  “The Duke of Westleton has made lots of noise about forming a coalition against Arendelle.”

“I don't care what the Duke of Weaseltown has to say,” said Elsa, her mouth curling into a snarl.  The temperature of the air dropped several degrees, and the flame ghosts around Hans wavered.  “He's more hot air than height.  If he dares to move against Arendelle I'll... I'll...”

“You'll what?” Hans said.  He saw Elsa falter and he grinned.  “What will you do, Snow Queen?  Bring down winter on Westleton?  Turn his shipping lanes to ice?  Freeze his soldiers and sailors to death?  You could do it all.  What's to stop you?”

“I won't put any other nation through what Arendelle suffered,” Elsa said, standing up straighter and raising her chin.  “But if Arendelle is threatened, I'll respond in kind.”

“Precisely,” said Hans.  “Which is why I'm here to offer you the Southern Isles' allegiance.”

Elsa's eyes widened.  “You want to be allies with Arendelle?”

“I have the blessings of my brothers to forge an alliance on this very trip,” said Hans.  “They're all quite eager to win you as a friend.”

“Are we going to just ignore the part where you tried to kill me?” Elsa asked.

“That was--”

“AND my SISTER?” Elsa growled.

“Technically I never tried to kill Anna,” Hans said.  “I was just prepared to let her die.”
“So then my answer is no,” said Elsa.

“Come on, milady, you're smarter than your sister,” said Hans, “and less naïve.  You know there are problems afoot that you can't just sing away.  Arendelle's standing in the world has withered in the past five years.  You could stand a new friend, particularly one with the naval resources we can bring to bear.”  Hans smiled broadly.  “And of course, there's you and me.”  He swirled his hand and fire burst into his palm.  “We're both quite formidable.”

“All right,” Elsa said, “I have to know.  How do you do that?”

“How do you make ice?” Hans asked.  He and Elsa stared hard at each other for a moment.  When she didn't speak, he said, “I suppose we work the same way.  However that is.”

Elsa sighed.  In spite of all her disgust and mistrust, seeing him wield fire was waking something she never thought she would be able to feel for Hans: empathy.  “If you can't tell me how, can you tell me how long?”

“Since I was a boy,” Hans said, batting the fire between his hands.

“Then why didn't you show it when you were here last?”

“Because I'd been taught my whole life to hide it,” Hans said.  “My father always told me that I'd never be respected if I displayed magic.  He said it was women's craft.  And it was unnatural.  So I kept it locked away.”

“Conceal, don't feel,” Elsa whispered gently.

“What?”

“Nothing.”
	“But after I came here,” Hans spread his arms wide, “after I saw you, I realized how wrong my father had been.  I realized what a fool he and all my brothers were.  These things we can do, Elsa, they're not shames to hide from.  They're blessings to be celebrated.”

“Yes,” Elsa said, shocked by her eager agreement.  “Yes, you're right.”

“And they're tools to be wielded in the name of our lands and our peoples,” said Hans.  “Think, Elsa, what you can do.  What I can do.  And what we can do together.  Westleton wants to build a chorus against you?  We'll only need a duet.  Arendelle and the Southern Isles together.  The two of us united.  You freeze from the north, I'll burn from the south.”  Hans clenched his fist.  “And we'll annihilate anything between us.”

Elsa's nose wrinkled in disgust.  That was her initial reaction.  And she held her revolted expression even as the cold, forbidding part of her mind began to seriously weigh the idea.  If there really was a coalition of nations rising against Arendelle...

If there really is.  “Arendelle has no interest in an expansionary policy at this time,” Elsa said firmly.  “As to your allegations of enemies, that's very serious.  Not one I can act on without more information.  You're right, Prince Hans, I have been neglecting Arendelle's foreign policy in the past year.  I'll at once begin to send out emissaries to take the mood of the surrounding lands.  I shall not act without knowing the truth.  You've lied to my family before.”

“Of course,” said Hans, “I wouldn't have it any other way.”

“So I'll have to ask you to leave now,” said Elsa.  “Take your warships and go.”

“Of course, of course,” said Hans.  He waved his hands and his fire monsters vanished.  “I'll retreat.  But in six months or so, I'll be back.  That should be enough time for you to see I'm right.  And then we'll negotiate that alliance.”

“I shall decide that,” said Elsa.  She turned around with a swirl of her cape.  “Goodbye, Prince Hans.”

“Of course,” said Hans for the third time.  He turned away and smiled.  “Farewell, Snow Queen.”

“Wait!” He stopped and slowly turned around to see Elsa with her hand extended.  “Prince Hans.  You strike me as a great traveler.”

“I came all the way here, didn't I?” Hans said with a grin.  “But yes, I've been around.  I have to, hailing from a nation of islands.”

“Well, it's just...” Elsa's blue eyes were starry.  “Have you ever encountered anyone else like us?”

“Like us?” Hans repeated.  “I can't say I have.  The old stories say we used to be more common.  There used to be more folk who were... well, magical.  But I've never met another until I met you.  I think... it's just us.”  He gave a wave of his hand.  “Fare thee well, Queen Elsa of Arendelle.”

She watched him walk back through the trees, to where she knew his boat must be docked.  She let out a quiet sigh.  “Just us,” she whispered.  And she felt sadder than she expected.

END