Martini 27

>be martini, a lime green unicorn fluffy pony. with you is Sunset, a beautiful earth pony who loves you and you love her
>you recently saw something on BIG MAN’s magic picture screen about Spaghetti Land - the greatest place ever!
>you took it upon yourself to leave Mr. Frank’s breeding place and you took Sunset with you
>it’s time for an epic journey… to Spaghetti Land!
>
>it’s been twenty minutes and you’re exhausted.
>”sunset… sunset… dis sucks. too hawd to wawk.”
>”dis bad idea, mawtini.”
>”yah, mawtini haff bad idea.”
>”maybe we get caw?”
>”we nuu howta dwive!”
>”maybe we get wellow caw an pay man?”
>”we haff no gween stuff.”
>”wha gween stuff?”
>”gween stuff wha hooman use to get fings.”
>”MOTHERFUCKER!”
>you both freeze and slowly turn around. it’s BIG MAN, holding his magic talking box.
>”I knew this phone app was worth it. Tracked you little shits right down, didn’t I?”
>”hewoo bigman! me an sunset wan go to spasgetti wand…”
>”SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
>you’ve never seen BIGMAN so mad before.
>this is gonna be bad.
>BIG MAN tosses Sunset into a carry box and puts it up on the back of his go-truck.
>”You see Martini, Sunset? See him?”
>”yu… yuh… sunset see mawtini…”
>”This is what happens when bad fluffies leave Mr. Frank’s house without permission!”
>BIG MAN takes a long, thin metal rod - it looks like the one he uses to hear music better
>he holds you down on the back of his go-truck and lifts up your tail
>oh, poopies. sorry stick.
>*whack* *whack* *whack* *whack* *whack*
>”You NEVER EVER run off! NEVER!”
>*whack* *whack* *whack* *whack* *whack*
>he slams the sorry stick on the ground. your bottom hurts so much! your poopie place is sore, even your fuzzy no-no’s hurt!
>you’re crying, bawling… can’t even talk from the hurt and the crying.
>”wahhhhhhhhhhh! big man huwwwwwwwwwwwt! wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
>”Shut the fuck up!”
>BIG MAN roughly grabs you and throws you into another carry box
>he grabs Sunset from her box and slaps the side of yours a few times.
>”Martini. You paying attention?”
>sniffling, you respond. “muh… muh… mawtini payin tenshun.”
>”She’s mine, now.”
>oh, no.
>not Sunset… it’s not her fault…
>BIG MAN gets an angry smile on his face.
>he roughly pulls up Sunset’s tail… first rubbing the sorry stick against her special place and poopie place…
>”puh… pwease… sunset sowwy… i jus wan be wiff mawtini…”
>”You’ll be with him soon enough.”
>*whack* *whack* *whack* *whack* *whack*
>”eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! bottom huwty! owieeeeeeeeee! pwease stawwwwwwp!”
>”bigman pwease nu huwty sunset! not hur fawlt!”
>”Trying to save your girlfriend? Yeah, no.”
>*whack* *whack* *whack*
>”yeeeeeeeeee! bottom huwty! stawp! stawp!”
>she’s sobbing now. you grasp desperately at the door to the carry box but your hooves can’t open it
>”sunset i so sowwy! mawtini didn mean…”
>”SHUT UP!”
>BIG MAN throws the sorry stick in the back of the go-truck and puts Sunset back in her carry box.
>you both lay there, your bottoms bruised, crying all the way back to Mr. Frank’s.
>”Hey, you found ‘em.”
>”Dude, they only made it about a mile. Christ, I could have walked there and back.”
>”They gonna do it again?”
>”I think I put a little fear of God into them.”
>”You mean fear of rod.”
>”Hahaha! Good one!”
>suddenly, the door is kicked open
>it’s Brett Hipster. he’s a bad man. OH NO! And The Scott! How did The Scott find you?
>BIG MAN’s eye starts to twitch. he doesn’t look happy
>”You’ve got a lot of balls showing your face here. And who’s this little bitch? Your girlfriend from prison?”
>”Hey, fuck you, you goon!”
>”Easy, Scott. This is Martini’s old owner. We’ve come to claim him.”
>”The fuck you are.”
>”You give him over to us and this ends now. You don’t… and we kick the living shit out of both of you.”
>”Yeah… and then we torture every one of these fucks to death.”
>”…and i hewp kiwll da babehs.”
>The fuck? They have a red fluffy pony with them.
>”Oh, apologies. This is Blaze. She was bullied by some other mares so young Scott here helped her to get revenge.”
>”bwaze hewp scott naow. bwaze kiwll ALL offa fwuffies! speshally babehs.”
>you notice the mares all cower in their cages, especially brownie. she’s due in a few days
>BIG MAN takes a step forward.
>”You’re half right, Brett. This does end now. But it ends with you broken in half and getting fucked in the ass in prison.”
>”I’d like to see you try.”
>”Frank… let loose Jester, Boromir, Faramir, and Skyfall.”
>Frank moves quickly, unlatching their cages. the three colts and the disfigured mare all hop out
>”Dude, really? An army of ponies?”
>”You’d be surprised what they can do when you piss them off. When you get a bunch of them together.”
>Brett calmly puts his horn-rimmed glasses away.
>Scott cracks his knuckles.
>Frank rolls up his sleeves.
>BIG MAN cracks his neck and opens your cage
>”Martini.”
>your sobbing ended when you saw Brett and Scott. now you’re just mad.
>”yah, bigman.”
>”Sic balls.”

All hell breaks loose.