Chain 071: The Mummy

Chain 071: The Mummy
Location: Egypt, 3200 BC
Age: 18
Identity: Drop-In
Drawbacks: [+1200] Extended Stay, The Scorpion King, Lost Fortune, Lost Fame, Mummy Magnet, Manacle of Osiris, Wrath of the Dragon Emperor

[Free]      "Have You No Respect For The Dead?"
[Free]      "I Lie To Everybody! What Makes You So Special?"
[600/2200]  "Nasty Little Fellows Such As Yourself Always Get Their Comeuppance."
[600/2350]  Item Stipend (+150)
[Free]      Dapper Suit
[700/2350]  Library
[750/2350]  Treasure Chamber
[750/2550]  Companion Stipend (+200)
[1250/2550] Ancient Sorcerer(ess): Demona
[2550/2550] Cult

>"What the hell took you so long to find me?!"
"What are you talking about? I got here five minutes ago."
>"Of all the asinine-"
"Calm your tits, woman."
>"DID YOU JUST TELL ME TO CALM MY TITS?!"
"Yes?"
>"That's it. I'm going to kill you. Do you have ANY IDEA what I've been dealing with for the last three centuries?!"
"Did you just say three CENTURIES? I'm not kidding, Demona, I did only just get here five minutes ago. Are you telling me you've been in... what is this, Egypt?, for the last three centuries?"
>"Does it look like I'm wearing the local colors to you?"
"No. What is that, silk? ...And there aren't any pyramids. What the hell, what year is it?"
>"Around five thousand years before the modern era, by my estimate."
"And... you've BEEN here for a while? Has this happened before?"
>"Every time. You didn't know?"
"You never mentioned it. I assumed you just... were like me, changed when you got dropped in. Where the heck have you been?"
>"Shangri-La."
"Huh. I'm going to have to visit that someday, maybe. So hey, uh. I've got this bracelet I'd really like to get rid of..."

...

"Seems that Mathayus' wife died of the plague while we were visiting Shangri-La."
>"That's unfortunate. Are you going to bring her back?"
"Apparently he ran away some weeks ago. I don't think she'd be preserved well enough, and we'd have to track him down. Knowing him..."
>"...he'd probably swing his sword first and ask questions later. Typical human."
"You still haven't let go of that after all these years?"
>"Am I wrong?"
"Touché. Well... the plague did a hell of a number on this place, and it's been more than ten years, so I'm not sure why we haven't left yet. How about we bring some of them back and see what we can see?"
>"I'll follow your lead."
"Such a strong vote of confidence."
>"No, just... I'm not sure what to make of a lot of this. And while my new magics are fairly powerful, I don't trust them to raise the dead. I've tried before... they come back wrong."
"Huh. Well. I'll have to be extra careful then."

...

>"What did you THINK would happen when you raised a thousand people from the dead?"
"Well I didn't expect them to start worshipping me!"
>"They're not going to nail that carpenter to a tree for another three thousand years, and you're doing more than any of their other so-called gods have!"
"That's arguable. I've seen a few interesting things done-"
>"None raise the dead."
"Okay, fair, but keep in mind this world actually has active deities."
>"And now you're one of them."
"I think we're going to have to find a way to keep this relatively quiet, otherwise we're going to derail written history. Generally a bad thing."
>"As opposed to, what, you taking over the Roman empire and taking it into space?"
"Huh. Actually, that's a good point. Hold that thought."
>"Oh no."

...

>"So you're the Illuminati, huh?"
"That's right, Mr. O'Connell. I and my... associates... have spent the last five thousand years guiding humanity, trying to help them avoid the largest mistakes."
>"Riiight. I'm sure you did a great job stopping the Great War."
"Its worst excesses, yes. Without seizing the reins over every nation, we can't disarm every powder keg. But that is not why we are here today."
>"The City of the Dead."
"Indeed. The Medjai are one layer of protection, but are unaware that we ensure their continuance but at the highest levels - and I will thank you not to inform your fellows, Mr. Bey. The City of the Dead contains - or rather, contained - a man named Imhotep, who was powered by that most terrifying of all emotions. Love."
>"Love? You're kidding, right?"
"Everything he did, and everything that he will do, is for the sake of his lover. He needs not eat, needs not sleep, and will not stop until he has achieved his goals or been laid to rest once again."
>"Before today, I would have said that you're crazy."
"Crazy or not, Mr. O'Connell, you have an illustrious destiny ahead of you. I'll be in touch."

...

"Oi! Mathayus!"
>"What the hell? How did you even GET here?"
"He and I go back a long way, history knows him as King Scorpion the First. Mathayus! Hey! Calm your tits!"
>"I don't think he likes you."
"No, no, he's just cranky about getting up on the wrong side of the bed. Mathayus! You cut a bad deal with Anubis, right?"
>"Oh my god!"
"It's just a flesh wound. Deal with Imhotep."
>"He cut you in half!"
"Flesh. Wound. Seriously, Mathayus, you're using up my patience! You're not supposed to be back from the dead, but I can give you a way out of this!"
>"I don't believe this- he's actually listening?"
"Thank you. If you'll give me a moment to pull myself together... there, that's better. Anyway, I know Anubis put some chains on your soul, but you're alive again - which means those chains don't bind you any more. You can't live like that... but I can offer you a better afterlife than the hell he's put you through."
>"Oh, no. He's mad again."
"Yes he is. Get ready. Look, Matty, I told you who I was once, but you didn't believe me. It's been almost six thousand years, I'm still here wearing the same face. No reincarnations, just me. If you will it, I can take your soul upon death, and keep it safe."
>"Oh crap oh crap oh crap-"
"IMHOTEP. WHY DID YOU JUST STAB ME IN THE LUNG, YOU ABSOLUTE TWATWAFFLE."
>"Go to Hell! And take your army with you!"
"Frickin' mummies, I don't know why I waste my time. Demona! We're leaving!"

And then Purgatorio had an extra hundred thousand jackal warriors. And one half-man-half-scorpion who, despite my urging otherwise, refused to move to Paradiso. But it was his call to make.

I didn't expect that the thousand-man-strong cult would follow me when I left, though. That was a bit of a surprise.