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- If you recompile kernels and you're running beta apps
- Or you're checking files out of CVS and stuff like that
- Or you understand most Perl scripts or you're scripting from the shell
- Or you've read and can discuss the finer points of GPL.
- If you've programmed in assembly or you write your apps in C
- Or you have a preference: GTK or toolkits in Qt
- You keep abreast of SCO Group's press or patched an app for free
- You know who Alan Cox is, or you're running BSD
- You suck up power every day computer's always on,
- your system's maintenance is a breeze because you're running cron
- Your IP masquerades and MAC addresses aren't live
- Your surf the web without a name, except for on K5.
- You actually like vi or emacs: either one
- Your home DHCP is served by something made by SUN
- When facing problem apps you simply sit and code a fix,
- Or the network in your house is running IP version 6.
- If your address range is class B cause you need a bigger range,
- And what I wrote above is not in language you find strange
- Perhaps the next bit won't be such a mystery to you
- Because to most it won't make sense, but will to just a few.
- While the packet switching networks switch the packets filling frames
- And encoded MP3s were run from Konsole out through lame
- Then the SCSI card whose terabyte array runs chrooted jails
- Must juggle postfix tasks and never fail routing mail
- If your firewall is representing public TCP
- But your ports have all been monitored and blocked on 23
- And your bytes are all encrypted and your private IP's safe
- Cause you're mashing all your traffic through tunneled SSH.
- Your hostnames have a naming scheme and printers aren't shared
- And Snort reports activity that leaves you running scared
- Your buffer overflows are caused by memory allocation
- 'Cause your Linux install still had holes at time of installation.
- If your sendmail stops responding since you shut down your backdoor
- Or Apache doesn't serve a page besides your 404
- You find your resource hanged because you're running games through WINE
- Then you're left with little option but to issue kill dash nine.
- Sure, SQL queries fail at d-b console line
- And your DVDs don't play because you can't configure xine
- Your curly braces wrapping lines are off because you slipped
- And somewhere there's semi-colon throwing off your script
- When your daemons cause a kernel panic, forcing a reboot
- Or your system logs report a process logging in as root
- You can try to watch parameters that pass at time of boot
- But you'll find you're pwned and have to phone a techie more astute
- When you can't find all the man pages and not sure what to use
- And you've googled all the answers that you got from Deja news
- You can't remember switches of commands you try to pass
- You should check O'Reilly books so you can finish all your tasks
- A troll who flames your weblog thinks he's king of your domain
- And his posts are mostly worthless and his comments all inane
- Your admins check his IP but his netblock's AOL
- Then your moderators have to deal with moderation hell.
- If your RPMs are failing cause you're missing glibc
- And you're sick of packed up tarballs cause they need dependancies
- And the Gentoo nuts are preaching ebuilds, building all from source
- You can always download yum or install apt-get there, of course.
- If you're fsck'ing / each time you boot your Red Hat box anew
- Cause you're still e-x-t-2 because you're running 6.2
- It might be time to upgrade, we all know it's a chore
- But you may have heard that recently there's kernel 2.4!
- But just when you grow confident you've set the proper locks,
- Your roommate gets a virus on his Windows ME box
- While you fool with DOS command line tools like format backslash C:
- You can map a drive to Samba so you backup his PC.
- I've downed my Mandrake installation so I could go back
- And check out all the latest Windows holes and worms and hacks
- XP's Luna makes me dizzy though, and ActiveX is cruel
- So I downed my XP install but I left the sucker dual.
- Now no one should be expert here in every single way -
- no matter what the AC posts on Slashdot have to say,
- So even though we all keep up and keep to our "dot plan"
- Be glad you've got a life outside of just computers, man.
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