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Shining-flumination office

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Aug 31st, 2021
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  1. Shining-flumination office
  2.  
  3. Shining-flumination office is an office located in H corps nest and works directly for H corp. It has 4 members consisting of Nobrain, Kokichi, Paddy and Hodd. Their dress code requires notecable armor padding and black ski masks.
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  5. Nobrain and Hodd are Member grade 4 fixers, Paddy is an Assistant grade 3 fixer and Kokichi is a grade 2 Governor fixer.
  6.  
  7. One day the office is requested to deal with an urban nightmare class distortion called “Eternal Christmas.”
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  9. Hodd: Let’s see, apparently there’s an old abandoned warehouse on the southern part of the nest from where… Santas with guns keep spawning.
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  11. Kokichi: The santas are nearly identical to the rampage “word”, but they shoot anyone despite their rank and spawn at such quantities the singularity should not be able to uphold, along with th...
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  13. Hodd: So our job is to clear way and find out what is causing this? should be fairly straight forward.
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  15. Paddy: You blundering bloke, if you wouldn’t try to read de case file 2 minutes befhre de mission you’d actually know somet’eng.
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  17. Nobrain: If you kill a santa it’s body disappears and they fully recover.
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  19. Paddy: Basically we need to use J chrp’s sengularity provided to us from H chrp to dispose av dem.
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  21. Kokichi: It’s a pin you need to attach to a santa before killing them.
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  23. The office reaches the barricade constructed near the warehouse to fend off the santas from reaching the rest of the nest.
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  25. Manager Insert: Please state your occupation, this place is a real hazard I’ll tell you what.
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  27. Governor Perskule: Insert you should know kokichi at least, they are probably here to deal with the singularity.
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  29. Hodd: We’ve got the request right here!
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  31. Manager Insert: Feel like having the Iris Majuscule to deal with this would be the best option.
  32.  
  33. Governor Perskule: Insert, he took a warp train to J corp today morning.
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  35. Manager Insert: Oh well, you are free to enter the warehouse.
  36. The gang of the Shining-flumination office enter the building and immediately see a santa at the reception holding an M60. Paddy quickly slaps the santa at towards Hodd. Hodd attaches J corps pin on santas left arm and kicks it towards Nobrain. Nobrain punches santa with sticky 3 second miniature c4. The santa stumbles a few steps backwards before blowing up.
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  38. Paddy: Dey may be useng guns but deir reaction time is pitiful.
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  40. Hodd: I do wonder why the A corp isn’t doing anything about them. These santas almost certainly don’t have a license provided by the head.
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  42. Kokichi: Anyway let’s proceed, we have to investigate the whole building
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  44. Kokichi opens the bathroom door in the reception and in it there are 7 santas, 2 of which are stuck in the stall doors. Kokichi slams the door and looks at everyone else.
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  46. Kokichi: Okay so mayb…
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  48. Suddenly 3 santas appear in the room all of which are holding assault rifles
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  50. Hodd: MAYBE ITS TIME TO MOVE
  51.  
  52. Kokichi throws a wheelchair at them and the office rushes into the next room under gunfire. They enter the employee lounge where there are 13 santas and the group is forced to flee further into the building. each room and hallway containing around 1-15 santas. Due to their slow reaction the group is able to run around the building relatively unscaved. They finally find an area behind cargo containers in one of the warehouse chambers without any santas.
  53.  
  54. Nobrain: That's quite a few santas
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  56. Paddy: YOU THINK? DE AMAHUNT AV DESE SHOULD BE AN IMPURITY AT THIS POINT.
  57.  
  58. Kokichi: The santas have quite an impared vision so I should be able to scout the area above from the containers.
  59.  
  60. Kokichi teleports up onto the containers and scouts the area. He notices a santa emerge from the ground
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  62. Kokichi: Didn’t the floor plan show a basement or some kind of underground area?
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  64. Hodd: I have no idea, didn’t look at it
  65.  
  66. Nobrain: It does have a basement. Hold on
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  68. Nobrain places a 5 second concealed directed c4 on the ground. When it blows up all of the force is directed downwards and a hole crumbles to the basement. The group descends down it. The group see a figure sitting in the middle of a large fairly empty room reaching and touching the ceiling. The figure is a mess of metal cables and clumps of meat as if someone was trying to form a human.
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  70. Assistant Sewershark?: It’s unfair, h corp can give godly powers to anyone yet they only give them to selected people, then they send those with lesser powers to die. Why should I go on a suicide mission they force me into and then expect me to die? I ran away and what did I get? They tried to kill me, I can’t escape, this hell of a nest makes sure of it.
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  72. Hodd: Okay buddy seems like you’ve had enough slaps for a lifetime, how about something different for a change?
  73.  
  74. Hodd pulls out two TMPs (without silencers) and starts shooting at the meat blob. The bullets don’t even seem to hurt it. Suddenly a massive pile of wheelchairs appear behind it and the thing starts flinging them towards the office group.
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  76. Paddy: Good job yer donkey
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  78. Hodd: What? it was the only logical choice.
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  80. Kokichi creates a row of jails in front of them to block the chairs and ignites the meat blob. The burning doesn’t seem to affect it all other than making the room smell quite tasty.
  81.  
  82. Nobrain: Don’t worry, I got this
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  84. Nobrain throws a 45 second c4 at the blob.
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  86. Hodd: Why did you make it 45 seconds?
  87.  
  88. Nobrain: I have standards
  89.  
  90. After 45 seconds passed the c4 explodes violently, utterly eradicating the meat blob. The santas disappear along the meat blob and the crew exits the building.
  91.  
  92. Manager Insert: Good job there, seems like whatever you did got rid of the santas
  93.  
  94. Kokichi: It was just some old colleague creating some troubles
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