CLOPIN - singing/speaking
ARCHDEACON - mostly singing
FROLLO - mostly speaking

SPEAKING (# of lines):
MOTHER (2)
FATHER (2)
GYPSY, FERRYMAN & GUARD (1 each)

CLOPIN: Noon already, the anon awaits to post on 4chan
the shitposter shitposts, the janitor cleans on the boards of 4chan
On /b/'s porn's threads lewd as the Brazzers, but /cm/'s boys are cute as a girl
And some say the source of the internet's worst's on the boaaaaaaards
The boards of 4chan

Read this shit, it's beautiful no?
So many useless opinions, so many changing moods
Because you know, these posts don't write them all by themselves
They don't?
No, silly newfag. Over there, deep, deep in the /vg/ board, lives the mysterious tripfag
Who is this creature? The OP!
What is he? A faggot!
How did he come to be there? Reddit!
Hush, enough of these buzzwords. It is a tale of a thread, of a thread... and a shitposter!

Dark was the night when our tale was begun on the boards of 4chan
FATHER: Spoiler that shit!
GYPSY: We will be banned!
MOTHER: But i like this game!
CLOPIN: Four frightened anons discussed silently in a thread on 4chan
FERRYMAN: Four likes for shitposting with mods asleep!
CLOPIN: But a trap had been laid for the anons, and they gazed at their screen in alarm
At the dreaded ban picture and shitty description as of why...
FATHER: Tripfag Frollo!
CLOPIN: …they were banned from 4chan
CLOPIN: Tripfag Frollo longed to purge the /v/ board of LOL and porn
And he saw corruption in all of its posts except his own
FROLLO: Report these /b/tards to the mods for derailing the thread.
GUARD: You there, what are you spoilering?!
FROLLO: Trap porn no doubt, take it from her!
CLOPIN: She ran!

MOTHER: *Shitposts externally*
FROLLO: A thread? ABOUT VIDYA?!

CLOPIN: STOP! Cried the moderator.
FROLLO: This is just dubs-checking and bigotry, I’m sending it to page 10 where it belongs.
ARCHDEACON: See this harmless anon you reported to the mods of 4chan
FROLLO: I am guiltless, she posted shit she got hit.
ARCHDEACON: Now you would add an unfair sage to a thread on 4chan?
FROLLO: Their shilling was clear!
ARCHDEACON: You can lie to yourself and your tripfags, you can claim that you actually discuss
But you never can run or hide what you’ve done from the archives,
The very archives of 4chan
CLOPIN: And for one time in his life of maximum damage control
Frollo feared for the reputation of his renowned tripcode
FROLLO: What must i do?
ARCHDEACON: Care for the thread, and discuss in it as an anon.
FROLLO: What?! I’d be settled with these… shitlords?! …Very well, but let me create real threads, in another board.
ARCHDEACON: Another board? Where?
FROLLO: Anywhere…
Just so all legit discourse is kept away from /v/
/vg/ perhaps… and who knows? Our Moot works in mysterious ways.
Talking as an anon may yet prove one day to be... of use... to me

CLOPIN: And Frollo created countless generals, boosting his ego with a foul new cancer: Samefagging!
Noooooow, here's a riddle to guess if you can see the IPs on 4chan
Who is the tripfag and who is the op?
On the boards, boards, boards, boards, boards, boards, boards, boards
BOARDS OOOOF FOOOOOOUR CHAAAAAAAAN!