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Blue/Fanseer Gone Wider

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Aug 4th, 2012
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  1. Warlock Zielt was perturbed. Perhaps perturbed wasn't the best word for it. Imagine the sound of a faucet. A dripping faucet. The drips are inconsistent and random so you can't anticipate the next drip, but still constant. You want no more than to tighten the valves and finally be rid of the faucet, but you can't. It's in your boss's personal bathroom and you certainly aren't allowed anywhere near there. But you hear it. And it is unceasing. You hear it at work, at home, in your car, in the shower... Every day, all day. For months, years even. All these drips dropping into an ever larger bucket of utter annoyance, threatening to one day spill over...
  2. That is but a taste of what Zielt felt.
  4. "Farseer, may I play daemon's advocate here?" He tried not to look irritated, an act he had nearly perfected, the bottom lid of his left eye was the only thing that betrayed him.
  5. "Of course, Zielt. It's why I keep you around. Your adversity to new ideas and your constant negativity are both charmingly quaint and quite useful as feedback. I often proofread my plans as I'm telling you off." Farseer Vaedrisa was concentrating very hard on the static of the viewscreen. It was funny what got you to psychically tuned. The previous Farseer had to hum Imperial battle hymns to herself.
  6. Zielt rolled his eyes the tiniest amount. Ah yes, this old song and dance. "I am honored to feature so heavily in your thought processes, Farseer." Was she going to use the child or the Gyrinx this time?
  7. "Well, it was either you or that child, and I'm not a very good babysitter."
  8. "Truly honored, Farseer." He cleared his throat, interrupting whatever snark Vaedrisa was about to throw at him, and continued, "What use would interrogating the Tau have?"
  9. "That is what you take issue with, Warlock? Out of all of the other things that I am currently trying to do, you choose to take issue with the most sensible?"
  10. "The Tau isn't even an Ork! I thought you'd try that Threegrot one first, or the Big Mek."
  12. The Farseer waved her hand in annoyance, not breaking her stare with the viewscreen, "But therein lies the rub. The Tau isn't even an Ork. So what's going on? Does this not intrigue you? Don't answer that." Zielt shut his mouth again. "The way I see it, the Scraplootas are a weapon given to us by providence. If the fate of the Craftworld is to rely on such a weapon, it would be foolish not to inspect it as thoroughly as possible. But what first? The scope? The trigger? The barrel? Parts that we are familiar with, if not this exact style or version? No. First let us inspect the seemingly superfluous piece that does not seem to fit, the piece that we do not understand. Let us understand it, and let us see how the weapon functions without this piece."
  13. There was the dripping faucet again. Warlock Zielt never knew if Farseer Vaedrisa really had the good of the craftworld first and foremost in her mind or if that damn Ork obsession came first. Sure, that's what she said, everything she did was actually for the good of the Craftworld. Staring at static for hours on end was done for the good of the Craftworld. The way she stuffed her face with sweets one a week was also done for the good of the Craftworld. But with the Orks, he couldn't help but wonder...
  15. "And you are convinced the Tau is that piece?" As opposed to the Titan, the WAAAGH enslaved Chaos Daemon, or maybe Threegrot.
  16. "She is the anomaly. The other pieces are accounted for."
  17. "Including the Titan?"
  18. "Especially the Titan."
  19. The Warlock furrowed his eyebrows, "So we have to go take her?"
  20. "I prefer to see it as borrowing. But yes."
  21. That bucket threatened to spill over, and Zielt held it back with fingers placed on his temples. "Very well, Farseer, your will be done."
  23. In a hammock somewhere in Boris's right arm, Da Blue Grot dreamed of Tau.
  25. Many faces, the slits between their eyes flaring as they laughed. They were children. Only children. They didn't know any better. They really didn't.
  27. They kicked at her and pushed her to the ground. It wasn't their faults. They understood not their own cruelty.
  28. If she was lucky, when the old Tau came over to break it up, she’d only be bruised and slightly bloody. If she wasn’t, she’d be coughing up blood for the rest of the day.
  29. It wasn't her fault either.
  31. Her mother was of the Earth Caste. Her father… well, her mother swore that her father was of the Earth Caste too. But no one else knew who he was and her mother refused to tell. The omission was damning. If he was truly of the Earth Caste, a Fio’Vre or a Fio’El, maybe, a bastard child would certainly be dishonorable, but nothing bad would come of it. The way her mother refused to confirm or deny allegations could only mean that her father was of a different caste. Probably some hotheaded Shas’La that caught her fancy. Or worst, a casteless. If confirmed, he, she, and their misbegotten child would be thrown out of the caste system, to beg and die in the streets of some colony world. Their crime was grave, they placed themselves before the Greater Good. It simply wasn’t tolerated. The Tau equivalent to Romeo and Juliet has the cast cheering at the suicides of those selfish cross-caste betrayers of the Greater Good. Even the allegations were enough for the Earth Caste to send Blue’s mother into the streets. And there Blue was born. She was found on the doorstep of the local orphanage soon after; a spanner and a note explaining how the child was of the Earth Caste were tucked into her basket with her.
  33. It wasn’t very pleasant at the orphanage. She was the only Earth Caste there, everyone else where Fire Caste children, war orphans. Perhaps they would have treated her better in different circumstances, but the rumors had outlived her mother. The other children wanted nothing of her, save when they were looking for someone to bully or tease. It was all fun for them. They practiced teamwork drills and honed their hand to hand combat on Blue. They didn’t think that there was anything wrong with any of it. In fact, the old Tau even warned Blue not to fight back, as it would just provoke them, and the Shas’Saal were going to be better fighters than she was as a Fio’Saal.
  35. But maybe there was some validity in the claims that Blue was not all Earth Caste. She took the beatings but it pained her to act meek, to just curl up into a ball until the other children lost interest. She wanted to fight back. She even had her spanner, a simple but strong little thing that belonged to her mother. Blue had tried it out. It would work as a proper weapon and she could hold her own. But she didn’t dare go against the wishes of the old Tau. She didn’t want to put herself before the Greater Good like her mother was accused of.
  37. But one day enough was enough. Blue singled out the ringleader of her tormentors and challenged him to a fight. One weapon of any type was allowed. He chose his flashy gun that induced minor electric shock. She chose her spanner. The fight was brutal and short. Firing twice, he assumed Blue would crumple like she had done before. Instead, she grit her teeth through the pain and closed the gap between them, knocking him flat with the spanner. Then, while he was still stunned, she raised the spanner over her head, and all of her fury, all of her frustration and desperation came out at the same time. She struck once, twice, again and again. She could almost hear her former tormentor begging for mercy, but she didn’t relent. She couldn’t relent. She kept going…
  39. Blue work up with a jolt. Her body was covered with a cold sweat and she was panting hard. No. That was behind her now. She was an Ork now. Not some Tau git.
  40. It wasn’t her fault either. Children understood not their own strength…
  43. Something was wrong. Blue sat up and started looking around while catching her breath, she realized she wasn’t in Boris anymore. There wasn’t that constant creaking and moving about. She was in a proper bed, and not just a hammock. Mr. Squig was nowhere to be seen. At least she had all of her clothes.
  45. She finally noticed the Farseer at the foot of her bed, also trying to catch her breath while wiping at her face.
  46. “What the zog?”
  47. “Greetings, Da Blue Grot of the Scraplootas. I, uh, hope your dreams have been.... I'm not fooling anyone, am I." She adjusted her glasses and tried to get her hair under control. Damn thing always got worse when she was doing psychic things, frizzling everywhere like that.
  48. "You was in my head?"
  49. "Ah, so you could tell. How interesting, what gave it away?" The Tau, being a non-psychic race, weren't generally very good at telling when they were being mind probed. Generally, they would think it as a dream of some sort, unless it turns out to be a nightmare.
  50. Blue got up on her knees and shuffled closer to the Elder, "I DON'T get dreams like that. Not now, not never. I ain't a Tau. I'm an Ork." Well that explained it. What a peculiar distinction. She didn't think herself half and half or a Tau amongst Orks, but a fully fledged Ork?
  51. "Relax, Blue I don't mean any harm, I was just trying to understand you better, a Tau in the middle—"
  52. "I AIN'T A TAU, I'M AN ORK." Blue lunged and had her hands around the Farseer's neck before she knew what she was doing.
  54. She was thrown back. Farseer Vaedrisa's hair stood on end as the air around her crackled with psychic power. This was not going to plan, just like everything about this damn Tau. "Okay then. Ork. You've made your point, now let me make mine." Blue crashed into the ceiling about the bed. She didn't make a sound. "Never touch me again." She set Blue down again gently, and then added, "Unless I allow for it."
  55. The Ork and the Eldar glared at each other as Vaedrisa's hair slowly unfrizzled.
  57. Then the Farseer suddenly smiled, "Okay, good, now that that's over and done with, perhaps we can continue?" She tried patting down her hair to little avail and produced a clipboard out of nowhere.
  58. Blue looked confused.
  59. "Well, I was going to include a physical examination, but I guess that's out of the question right now, so I guess we move on to the interrogation. Or interview, if you prefer."
  60. "What do you want, ya git?"
  61. "Lovely. Now, how old are you now?"
  62. "Why's that matter? Ten-ish?" Vaedrisa wrote that down.
  63. "Tau reach adulthood in roughly ten years. And yet, you're clearly still adolescent."
  64. "Well, that's a zoggin' mystery right there." Blue shrugged, "I guess grots don't grow old."
  65. The Farseer's eyes brightened, "Really? That's a fascinating fact about Orks that no one's ever mentioned before!" She balled her fists and waved them in small circles, "How do you avoid overpopulation then?"
  66. "Ah, because grots get krumped all the time. But we really have too many of the gitz."
  67. "Oh. Well, that's not as amazing as I thought it would be." Vaedrisa pouted and picked up her clipboard from her lap, "Anyway, so I'm assuming you haven't realized you are a few shades bluer than the average Tau."
  68. "What." Blue looked down at her hands. She didn't notice any changes in her skin. Of course, she hadn't really been keeping track.
  69. "Is there any particular reason that they call you Blue?"
  70. "For Orks, Blue's lucky, of course. And they think I'm lucky." For some reason, all that scribbling made Blue nervous.
  71. "So you're literally turning bluer because they think that makes you lucky?"
  72. "Maybe that's how the WAAAGH works." Why all the questions? It wasn't like she knew the zoggin' answers.
  73. "So what is this Waaagh, I mean, to you?" The Eldar had of course careful records about these things, but it was never from an Ork's perspective. This was important work Vaedrisa was doing. For posterity.
  74. "I dunno, it's proppa Orky, you know? The WAAAGH surrounds us and flows through us, binding Orks together in proppa warbands so's we can get to fightin' and krumpin' and winnin' in the WAAAGH."
  76. Vaedrisa tried to hide biting her lip every time Blue said the word "WAAAGH." The way Blue said it was just so amazing. She cleared her throat and continued, "Now, do you think your past has anything to do with how you are now?"
  77. There was still something wrong here. Blue just couldn't place what. "Why should it? It ain't coming back any. And I'm an Ork now. Not some Tau git."
  78. "Uh huh." The Farseer looked down at her clipboard. She had basically filled three pages with copious notes. It was time to wrap this up.
  79. "Uh, just one other thing. Can you say Titanloota for me?"
  80. "Titanloota? Why?"
  81. "N-no reason."
  82. "What the zog is up with this place? Why the zog does it all feel so strange?" Blue tried to get up from where she was sitting on the bed and found she couldn't.
  83. "Anyway, I think our time is over."
  84. Oi.
  85. "Do you hear something?" It was echo-y and slow.
  86. Ya.
  87. "That was a good chat. I'll catch you again someday?"
  88. Git.
  89. "What is all this, ya daft pointy 'ead?" Blue made out the first few syllables.
  90. Get.
  91. Vaedrisa didn't answer. She got up and started walking towards the door. Was there a door to this room before? What had she been sitting on?
  92. Up.
  93. Suddenly the gravity in the place reversed and Vaedrisa and Blue went tumbling towards the ceiling.
  97. Blue held her head for a moment as the room settled. The Right Arm of Boris. Mr. Squig, her tools, her workshop. Everything was there. She could move around fine. There wasn't any weird Eldar. No bed, no questions. Blue did her best to push all of that out of her head. No more muckin' about. There was work to do. She grabbed her spanner.
  99. "Farseer!"
  100. Vaedrisa groaned. Everything briefly hurt.
  101. "Farseer, are you alright?"
  102. She took her helmet off, it slipped out of her hands. What a disastrous exit.
  103. "This got out of hand."
  104. "What are you talking about? That worked, didn't it? Went off without a hitch."
  105. "Several of our Warlocks are bleeding out of their ears. But yes. Let us consider that a success."
  106. Vaedrisa sat up and rubbed at her eyes. "Well, I made it back with my invaluable information about the Tau, and I'm alive, despite projecting myself a few hundred thousand kilometers through space to connect a psychic bridge with a non-psyker. Nothing went terribly wrong." She looked around. Strange, where was everyone? Everything? She wasn't still in a dream, right?
  107. "Are you sure, Farseer?" And what was Warlock Zielt doing above her?
  108. "Yeah, I'm positive, Zielt. What's going—" She looked up. Zielt was looking up at her too. Only difference was his feet were on the ground.
  109. The Farseer stood up on the ceiling of the chamber.
  111. "Oh zog it."
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