2sleepy4me

#1
The Puppet slithered down the halls, stretching and undulating from room to room like a shadowy amoeba. It paused once it entered the bathroom, and snapped back into it's slender, humanoid form. It peered into the mirror at it's reflection as it squared it's shoulders. "Yes, this is good", it thought to itself. It then stretched down to Prize Corner, where a jumbled piece of robotics laid.

"Do you want to participate in the coitus?", said the Puppet, in a voice that spoke more of a statement than an interrogative.

"BLIBLBIBBLIBLIBLBIL," the heap of pink and white parts replied. Something shorted out inside of it apparently, because sparks flew out from inside.

The Puppet stepped further.

"AGHZGKAKGSKG," the Mangled heap of metal and plastic sputtered. More sparks flew out from it.

The Puppet came down upon it.

"BLUBLUBLBLUBLBULBLBBB," moaned the pile of parts as the pizzeria went up in flames. In an unfortunate turn of events, the faulty, decades-old wiring of the haunted house tour proved extremely flammable and combined with the gas leak, was quite a lethal combination. After the golden-garbed pedophile was cooked to a crisp, firefighters would later recover a sockpuppet wrapped around a spider-like fox robot in somewhat sexual fashion. They would also denote the look of terror upon the helmet of the fox-thing.



#2

"Okay, you see my finger?" Jeremy said, pointing to his finger with his other finger.

"Yes," said the yellow bird. Her eyes followed the fingers in rapt attention.

"Okay. You see my thumb?" Jeremy said, pointing to his thumb with his other thumb.

"Yes," Chica said, albeit with a hint of skepticism in her voice. She had heard of this technique from her peers numerous times, but never actually believed them. A human could not possibly possess such power... Right?

Jeremy took a deep breath.

"Okay. Here it comes." He created a claw shape with his thumb and index finger, and reached out toward's Chica's beak. They gripped the end of Chica's beak.

Jeremy grinned, and said "Gotch yer no-" as he pulled back and ripped off Chica's beak.

A moment of silence followed. Chica looked down at her beak in stunned disbelief, which was connected by wires to the jaw. Jeremy didn't just take off her beak. He took off part of her body. The wires fritzed and fratzed and krackled and spat, some having been severed by Jeremy's act of brutality.

Jeremy backed away while extending his hand, with the jaw still in it. "I-I'm sorry," he stuttered.

Chica's fingers probed the inside of her endoskeletal jaw. Some teeth had been pulled out by the jaw removal, or jarred loose.

Chica ran down the hallway and stood on stage. She warned her peers to never go near the Jeremy human ever again, for within him resided immense power that may haunt their darkest dreams. Jeremy took the beak home and kept it in a drawer for the rest of his life, which was admittedly pretty short because he got mauled by a pitbull in the tragic incident that is often referred to as the "Bite of 87".

He died of toxic crystallization within his catheter the following week.