Kalos' Games #spacecopsic 3/18/2017

DiscoDude: **---BEGIN SESSION---**
DiscoDude: **Session logging commenced**
Miri|MC: It's late at night and through some strange contrivance of the cosmos, <@!Miri|MC> , <@!Keith> , and <@!Lily>  are all sitting around a table at the last bar still open. All are slightly drunk, all more awake than they'd like to be.
Miri|MC: Fortunately, Miri happens to remember a game she's heard of; the rules have been passed around broken telephone-style for who knows how long, through how many cultures, but even in her semi-inebriated state, she's able to relate them to the others with some fidelity.
Miri|MC: Because they're all drunk, this is unanimously agreed upon as a good idea.
Keith: "We'll remember this day... Night... As the greatest night evah. Miri, yer 'da greatest."
Miri|MC: "Okay," Miri says. "One more time. We each take turns prompting the other for the *wildest tale possible* of our - *-hic-* - exploits. Which are *absolutely true,* I might add, even if they're not." She giggles to herself.
Keith: "This... Makes so much sense... Why didn't we do this before?"
Miri|MC: "So," she says, elbowing <@!Lily>, "tell us about that time during your 'irresponsible youth' that you got the Plutonium Pirates all sucked into a black hole, all while you were *just trying* to get to the intergalactic convenience store on Orionis VII?"
Lily: Ah yes, yes, funny story that.
Lily: (timer? )
Keith: (DO IN CHARACTER)
Miri|MC: !t 1200
DiscoDude: Timer set for 1200 seconds (20:00).
Miri|MC: (whoop)
Miri|MC: (oh well)
Lily: (I'm not going to " because it's assumed)
Miri|MC: (right. just imagine you're suddenly in *Narrator Mode*. XD)
Lily: So this was back when I still lived on my home world.
Lily: I was hot blooded back then, something of a firebrand you might say. needless to say, that's not what most of my people are like
Lily: I had taken it into my head at the time,  that I needed to get myself some Kuvhalha, which, while it might be a simple condiment for most species, is a drug to our species, and illegal... Don't tell my mom.
Miri|MC: (XD)
Lily: I knew about the nearest convenience store to my planet, the only problem was, I had absolutely no way to get there, I was young, I didn't have a space ship and it was rather late for the space bus.
Lily: But I was undettered, you know well that I never back down when there's something I want, andI was going to oirionis
Keith: "Late? you mean..."
Keith: "As in late at night, or... Late as in the last space bus had sailed?"
Lily: the latter 😛
Keith: (Shit, I broke the format)
Lily: I would have had to travel halfway across my planet to get the next one, which obviously was something I couldn't do
Miri|MC: (it's fine XD)
Lily: So well, instead, I went to the spaceport nearby and... Well... I knew at the time there were some visitors. They were simply staying to refuel, and I thought maybe there was a chance they weren't prepared for some of the tricks one such as I could employ.
Lily: So I kind of highjacked and hotwired a small ship.
Lily: You see, my species knows a lot about electrical engineering and with a simple spark in the right spot, the doors to the ship opened for me and the rest was easy.
Miri|MC: "Hey, hold on!"
Lily: yes?
Miri|MC: "There's no way a ship just *left at the spaceport* wouldn't have *some* kind of security system on! Are you pullin' our legs?"
Lily: You're quite correct, I was just about to get to that. I was immediately spotted. But there was no -normal- space security at the time, they had been bribed off by the pirates, who fancied their own security better.
Lily: I didn't know this at the time, of course, I just thought I was lucky.
Miri|MC: (heh, you were supposed to refuse by default, then we'd hold it to a vote, but I am totally okay with us continuing in this fashion XD)
Miri|MC: (let's totally houserule this in)
Lily: (but I was going to say it anyways 😛 you didn't throw a wrench into my story )
Miri|MC: (you can just *accept* an interruption outright without holding it to a vote XD)
Miri|MC: (okay XD)
Lily: anyways, where was I? oh right.
Lily: They DID spot me of course, but instead of normal space security on my tail, it was the rest of the convoy of ships I had highjacked from!
Lily: Again, you know me... There's no way in hell I'd set down, so I sped off. For a while they followed, but then they started shooting! Perhaps they decided it was better to kill the thief than return their ship.
Lily: I did my best to shake them off, slipping in and out of hyperspace, trying to lose them behind a planet here, or in an asteroid belt there
Lily: But they were not fooled, probably because the ship told them where I was, and I had drunkenly forgotten to disable that
Keith: "Wait, but..."
Lily: yes?
Keith: "Lily, don't ships have an automatic system to detect if their pilots are drunk? To prevent space accidents?"
Lily: That's ridiculous, this is a pirate ship, everybody knows pirates are drunkards.
Lily: Had there been such a system, they would have disabled it
Keith: (Well, sure, I suppose this makes sense)
Miri|MC: (I vote Withdraw, because I love Lily's explanation XD)
Miri|MC: (that means you have to apologize for the interruption XD)
Keith: "Oh, sorry. You know, now that you mention it, it really makes sense..."
Lily: No problem, anyways. They had finally contacted the ship I had stolen with one of their laserbeams, hitting the force modulator and damaging the ship.
Lily: Of course, I was in hyperspace, but I couldn't stay in hyperspace long with the ship venting neutrinos like it was
Lily: So I piloted the ship to just about where it felt right to go, I really didn't have a clue where I was at the time, and left hyperspace
DiscoDude: **DING DING DING!**
Lily: do I get more time for interuptions? )
Miri|MC: (ignore the timer)
Lily: ( I'm almost done lol)
Miri|MC: (it's a guide, not a hard-and-fast "time's up" flag XD)
Miri|MC: (need to figure out a way to pause the timer)
Lily: I had left hyperspace right on the edge of the Arradyl Nebula. Which you may now know as the arradyl Black Hole.
Lily: It turns out, that the once nebula had been the host of some unique exotic particles, ones that, when permeated by a steady stream of neutrinos, tend to create a gravitic fild around them.
Lily: The pirate left hyperspace behind me, inside the nebula, and the nebula started to condense around them as my ship leaked neutrinos into it
Miri|MC: (oh, this gon' be *good* XD)
Lily: I took off subwarp as fast as I could, and they tried to shoot me, but I managed to dodge their fire
Lily: They could not escape the nebula, the point of no escape, the event horizon, had formed around their ships and soon even their own laser fire wasn't reaching me
Lily: of course, the event horizon was still growing, and I had to escape fast or I would have faced the same fate as them
Lily: so I set my ship on auto and left the pilot's chair to try and repair the force modulator.
Lily: All I had to do was patch the breach with some breach foam, and pour some of the liqour that was still in my hand into the force modulator's reactor to stabilize it.
Lily: then I was able to jump into hyperspace just in time, for the new black hole to fully form.
Keith: "But... Wait..."
Keith: "Isn't it a known phenomenon that black holes tend to manifest into hyperspace?"
Lily: You're quite correct, but due to the nature of hyperspace, the event horizon curved past me, rather than engulfing me. I think it actually pulled some of the ship's paint off its rear
Miri|MC: (i am a big fan of this. XD)
Miri|MC: (this is running better than I could've hoped XD)
Keith: "I see... What you did after that?"
Lily: What do you think I did? I got my bearings and got myself some Kuvhala. Turns out condiments are really cheap when they're sold somewhere that it's not a drug... so I went on a bender. I'm banned from the Orionis VII convenience store for life now and the ship I stole, well. It was basically scrap.
Miri|MC: _starts applauding._
Miri|MC: *"WOOOOOO!"*
Keith: _Applauds loudly_
Lily: :3~
Miri|MC: "That. Was. *Awesome.*"
Keith: "Just the tale to remember."
Miri|MC: (right, Keith, it's your turn to prompt Miri 😉 )
Keith: "Hey, <@!Miri|MC> , didn't you have a tale about 'spices' as well? Tell us about that time someone tried to trick you into unwittingly smuggling 'spices', and what they got for their trouble."
Keith: (Is this a good one?)
Miri|MC: (a prompt should be a bit more specific in the details, I think, but this is totally workable XD)
Miri|MC: *-burp-* Ahhhhh, yeah...*that* time. Phew.
Miri|MC: Well, *of course,* it was back during my military days.
Miri|MC: On occasion we'd be sent in to raid a depot, and we'd come back with *all kinds* of shit.
Miri|MC: Like, you'd think it was all military materiel - guns, ammo charges, antimatter grenades, the normal "kill stuff, take names" kinda stuff.
Miri|MC: But *whooo,* sometimes you couldn't shake the feeling the quartermasters were skimming something *serious.*
Miri|MC: Expensive booze, *rare perfumes,* cheeses that haven't been made in a hundred thousand years...not to mention some suspiciously authentic-looking nude pics of *certain famous celebrities* who shall remain nameless, *nudge nudge, wink wink.*
Miri|MC: So, bottom line! Raiding depots is neat! You come back with sweet loot!
Miri|MC: And that's enough digression.
Keith: "My, didn't expect you to be the kind of person to stare at nude people, heh."
Miri|MC: *So.* There was this one time we took a small supply storehouse - really like a broom closet, with a single guard outside...
Miri|MC: The word from the brass was that it was "mission critical," so we went in with *way* more force than was strictly necessary. The guard fled, and I don't think he's stopped shitting his pants since.
Miri|MC: Inside wasn't much to look at - "basically a broom closet," remember?
Miri|MC: But there was a locked duranium strongbox on the floor, not nearly as dusty as the other stuff, which meant it had been put there recently.
Miri|MC: Officially, it contained a volatile string manipulation reactor. One wrong move and it'd rip a hole in space the size of a solar system.
Miri|MC: So obviously our orders were *not to open it.*
Miri|MC: Funny as hell, it might've been *less* dangerous if it *was* the reactor.
Miri|MC: We made our way to the extraction point and *son of a fhqwhgad,* the entire area was getting *carpet-bombed.* Our ride couldn't get close.
Miri|MC: Not without getting blown to smoldering slag, anyway.
Miri|MC: So! Plan B!
Miri|MC: We'd jack an enemy vehicle and make our way offplanet right under their noses!
Miri|MC: Fortunately, our briefing included the location of an enemy hangar. Unfortunately, it was smack dab in the middle of a heavily fortified location.
Miri|MC: How heavily fortified, you ask?
Miri|MC: Laser security gate.
Miri|MC: High-caliber autocannons right behind it.
Miri|MC: 16-foot-thick reinforced hypersteel walls.
Miri|MC: With *nanowire bales* on top.
Lily: But Miri
Miri|MC: "Yes?"
Lily: Nanowire is just a thing of fantasy. A real wire only an atom wide would just snap, less troublesome than a cobweb
Miri|MC: "It's a brand name, sweetie," Miri says with a patronizing smile. "'Razor-sharp buckytubes' wouldn't be quite as sexy on the packaging."
Miri|MC: Anyways! I dunno who built the place, but with the way we made it in, I'd like to imagine he got a *stern* talking to.
Miri|MC: The area was heavily wooded!
Miri|MC: We were able to sneak our way up a tree and scout the enemy's disposition behind the walls.
Miri|MC: Then we chopped down that *same* tree, made a ladder, and just climbed right over, walls, wire, and all. We found ourselves in the enemy's blind spot!
Keith: "But Miri..."
Miri|MC: "Yes?"
Keith: "Don't military bases often make sure that there isn't any tree around, outside the base, just bacause of this reason?"
Miri|MC: "Ah, but the tree..." She takes a swig of drink. "...the tree was *itself* in the enemy's blind spot! Q! E! D!"
Keith: "Oh! Now I understand, sorry for interrupting."
Lily: can I interject for more details? XD
Miri|MC: (nope XD)
Miri|MC: Anyways, where was I? Ah, yes! Our clever strategy had succeeded so far without a hitch! But if there's one thing about plans, it's that they never survive contact with the enemy!
Lily: can I interject for more details? XD
Lily: )
Lily: (ignore discord and bad internet)
Miri|MC: (NP 😉 )
Miri|MC: We were cautious. We were careful. We were stealthy as physically possible. And then some grunt comes out of a restroom door right in front of us.
Miri|MC: He goes down with a single punch to the face, but the enemy's got tacnet. They know we're here. And almost immediately, we hear it:
Miri|MC: "Hostiles in the facility! They have the Stardust! Do not let them get away!"
Miri|MC: We each give each other a look, and though we *know* we'll catch hell for it, we open the case.
Miri|MC: Yep. It's a few quadrillion credits' worth of Stardust. Likely intended to pay for whatever cockamamie operation these people had in mind. Somehow the brass must have caught wind of it and decided to steal it for themselves.
Lily: but miri
Miri|MC: "Yes?"
Lily: Wasn't the case, you know, locked? Surely something like that would have been difficult to open
Miri|MC: "We were blown, anyway, and a bullet unlocks *all kinds* of shit."
Lily: Wasn't the case, you know, locked? Surely something like that would have been difficult to open
Miri|MC: (for what it's worth, I've had that happen)
Miri|MC: (Discord being a pain in the ass and double-posting messages)
Lily: _nods, "Ah yes, sorry, I didn't think you had bullets, if I had known that I wouldn't have asked"_
Miri|MC: So yeah! We have drugs. That the enemy wants back. They also have a vehicle we need to get out of here. Obviously none of us likes the idea of our commanders profiting off of making us risk our asses, so we put a plan together.
Miri|MC: It's your typical hostage swap. We come out, we've got several grenades *clearly* strapped to the case, and we promise they'll all go off like fireworks if anybody takes a shot.
Miri|MC: My squad's scared shitless, but I'm not. That's a *lot* of money. No way are they gonna let some crazy catgirl blow it all up.
Miri|MC: So they think they're playing along with us. We get into the hangar, we fire up a small support craft, and I *know* they're gonna take a shot at us as soon as they have the opportunity.
Miri|MC: Too bad for them I'm *totally* five steps ahead.
Miri|MC: I toss the case to the ground the moment we lift off.
Miri|MC: They have their anti-air turrets trained on us *obviously,* because they're not just gonna let us *get away* after making them all look like doofuses.
Miri|MC: That's when I push the button.
Miri|MC: Remember those grenades I mentioned? Turned out they can be set to remote detonation. Pretty neat feature!
Miri|MC: *So.* By all rights we shoulda caught hell for *technically* failing the mission, but the brass couldn't come out and *say* we'd botched their heist for them...in the end, it got spun that we denied the enemy vital material, and we all got these *tiny little medals* because the brass was still pissed at us.
Miri|MC: Still, we got one over on them, *and* we got away with it!
Keith: "But... Miri... I must ask..."
Miri|MC: (the story's over, but I'll allow this XD)
Keith: "Did you make all the boogies high with stardust?"
Miri|MC: "That probably helped our escape, yeah. The ones that didn't get caught in the blast were probably seeing pink unicorns for *months.*"
Miri|MC: (so, no applause, no reactions to the end of the story? ^_^; )
Miri|MC: <@!Keith> , <@!Lily> ?
Keith: (Ops)
Keith: "Right on... Yeeeah... They want the 'spice', they got the spice."
Keith: _Keith claps_
VoxSomniator: _peeks in, claps confusedly, ducks back out_
Miri|MC: (so, last but not least, <@!Lily> gets to prompt <@!Keith> )
Miri|MC: "Hell yeah," Miri says, propping her feet on the table.
Lily: (fukkin internet :B about 20 messages just popped at once )
Lily: So Keith, why don't you tell us the story about that one time you rescued a Risa Pleasure Girl from being kidnapped and held for ransom by space bandits?
Keith: "UH... Um... T-that story, of course..."
Keith: "So. Like. I've been in many walks of life before... I don't think I've ever told you that before."
Keith: ( <@!Miri|MC> , hit the clock)
Miri|MC: !t 1800
DiscoDude: Timer set for 1800 seconds (30:00).
Miri|MC: (because 30 mins is how long it's been taking)
Keith: "Before being a cop, I tried being a writer, a paramedic... And even a maid."
Keith: "No, not a butler, a maid."
Keith: "Now, hear this. There was this rich guy in the station, he is still around, but I ain't gonna name.... Name's Y'know. And I worked for him, tho I barely ever saw his face. But I *did* see his mess, and fix it."
Keith: But one day, he decided to mess around with a lady, from Risa.
Keith: Problem is, he also didn't see the faces of the other workers in his gigantic mansion. And for a long time, one of his subordinates have been letting...
Keith: Foxes, get into the henhouse
Keith: They had their plan set, they would kidnap the girl. And kidnap the rich guy as well. But they didn't plan for me.
Keith: So there I was, cleaning stuff as usual, in my maid uniform
Keith: And I hear that noise in the other room
Keith: I thought, "hey, boss' getting freaky with someone, maybe I can finally see the face of the person I am working for."
Keith: I peek into the door, and what do I see?
Keith: The boss, of course
Keith: The girl, gorgeous, she was, and exotic... Very exotic.
Keith: The girl, gorgeous, she was, and exotic... Very exotic.
Keith: They were both tied up, but not in the good way, Y'know what I mean, Lily?
Lily: x3
Keith: Because there were like, six goons inside there, one taller than the other, and I am pretty sure at least one of them was just a combat battlesuit, turned into a cyborg shell
Miri|MC: *"Woooooo~"*
Keith: So I was like "Daaamn son, this is some kinky shit." No, actually no, I wasn't, I joke
Keith: I actually was like "They are pointing their weapons and shit, this is not good at all."
Miri|MC: "Hey, hang on."
Miri|MC: "Uhhhh...were they pointing their weapons at *you,* or at the lovely couple?"
Miri|MC: Miri blinks and realizes she *completely* misunderstood.
Miri|MC: "Oh. Oh, they were tied up *captive.* Not...the sexy kind of tied up. My bad. Continue."
Keith: Yes... You are right...
Keith: They weren't pointing their weapons at me, *yet*
Keith: So, I did what I do best, which is to courageous at the moment that you actually should be a coward, and then regret it instantly
Keith: I went in saying "Hey! What the hell you *think you are doing-*", and mid-sentence, they were pointing their weapons to me now
Keith: I rush out of the room *immediatelly*, and of course, they give chase.
Keith: But Keith be fast, Keith be quick, Keith jump over the candlestick. And soon enough, I have had climbed into a vent.
Keith: Now, this is a pivotal moment, because that's the moment where I could have made my escape.
Keith: Except I didn't have a map of the vent ducts, and before I knew it...
Keith: I was back at the room where the 'lovely couple' were being held captive.
Keith: This time, only the battlesuit-guy was there. and I was in position to get the drop on him
Keith: That's when I noticied. That his back were a mess of wires. Man! What a cheap adaptation it must have been! Who the hell ever would have thought it would be a good idea to just open the back of the battlesuit, shove the jar in, then wire it up like whatever, and just leave it like that?
Keith: But what happened, was a thing of dreams.
Keith: I leaped onto his back, pulled the *exact cable* that I needed, and I plugged it into my implant. Bam, I was now in control of the battlesuit.
Keith: he didn't have time to struggle
Keith: It was this smooth
Keith: And then I turned to the boss and the Risa girl and I said "Don't worry, citizens! I shall protect you!"
Keith: But before long, the other bandits came into the door. But since the battlesuit was facing the door. they were unaware I was riding on its back, controlling it!
Keith: They came in talking stuff like "Yo homie, we are still looking for that cat, she probably is still somewhere in the mansion. So, you get the two out and into the ride, while we look for the maid, alright?"
Keith: And I, very much in my style, just tried to give him an awkward thumbs-up.
Keith: But I actually shot him in the face instead.
Miri|MC: (XD)
Keith: So I was like "Well, I suppose I am in for a penny." And I just waved my "thumbs-up" around on them.
Keith: I don't know if it was luck, or if it was God. IF there is a God. but when the dust settled, there were four downed bandits in front of me. Hell, maybe I would have started beliving in God that day...
Keith: If it weren't for the one that got away.
Keith: Before I knew it, there was this little dude.
Keith: Half my size
Keith: *Yes, half my size*
Keith: On the top of the battlesuit, with a knife
DiscoDude: **DING DING DING!**
Keith: And he stabbed me in the fucking face!
Keith: I got so discombobulated, that I kinda lost control of the battlesuit.
Keith: as the dust settled. half of the room was utterly irreparable, the other half was peppered with bulletholes, the two hostages were completely unharmed. And me & little joe... Were pinned under the battlesuit
Keith: Until the police arrived
Keith: And this was the tale...
Keith: Of how I lost once another job
Keith: *Keith then downs another drink*
Miri|MC: _downs another drink herself. "I'd been wondering how you got that scar," she says, unsteadily._
Miri|MC: (whether Keith actually has a scar is immaterial XD)
Keith: (Keith actually has regrowth, I don't think he can get scars XD, but nevermind, we're all drunk)
Keith: "S-scar?" Keith mumbles, patting his face
VoxSomniator: ("Scar? That's my eyebrow!")
Lily: x3
Miri|MC: "*Right!* So, we've all told a story! And now...*-hic-*...now we *vote!*"
Miri|MC: "Who told the best story tonight?"
Keith: "We must vote any story, but our own, right?"
Miri|MC: "Eeeeeeexactly. Votin' for your own story is ill...irr...just plain *rude.*"
Lily: ok so keith, between my story and miri's?
Keith: "Nnhg... I liked both stories... Hmmm..."
Lily: keep in mind who's bed is the same bed as your bed on the atomic lightning
Miri|MC: "*-snrk-*"
Lily: _chooses to call the ship whatever she wants. Which changes often._
Keith: "Well... I mean..."
Keith: "How can you beat juvenile delliquency?"
Keith: "I think my vote goes to Lily."
Miri|MC: "All right, then...who's your vote go to, Lily?"
Lily: tough call
Lily: since I was voted for between us, that puts you out of the running to win miri, so you should vote 😛
Miri|MC: "Fiiiiiine. I was gonna vote for your story, *anyway,*" Miri says, mock-put out.
Lily: ❤
Miri|MC: "Right! With two votes, that makes Lily the unquestionable winner of our game. *Woo-hoo!*" She cheers loudly enough that if there were any other patrons, they would all be staring daggers at her.
Miri|MC: "And that means...that means you pick up the tab for *allllll* tonight's revelry. *-Hic-* Congratulations."
Miri|MC: She slumps over on the table.
Keith: "Juvenile deliquency, always wins."
Keith: "But Lily, tho... Did you like my tale?"
Lily: (( ooc, I laughed out loud at the thumb's up 😛 ))
Miri|MC: (XD)
Lily: (( so lily probably laughed her ass right off the chair))
Miri|MC: (yeah, that was hilarious XD)
Keith: ( Oh man! I just need to give him an OK, and I'll be a big hero! WHOOPS! )
Lily: 👍 🔫
VoxSomniator: pffff
VoxSomniator: Good story
Keith: (Thanks)
Keith: ( <@!Miri|MC> , can we get the log?)
Miri|MC: (absolutely!)
Miri|MC: !end