perfect universe part 3

gushing_granny: ok, part 3 time

gushing_granny: lets do this shit

gushing_granny: so, a little recap

gushing_granny: dan awakens on this alien planet

gushing_granny: he is greeted by nini, the little robot

gushing_granny: she briefs him on the situation and hes all like "wtf" at first, but then is like "ok"

gushing_granny: "so, dan, you understand?"

gushing_granny: "yeah, i think so.....still feels weird."

gushing_granny: "what?"

gushing_granny: "having these...."

gushing_granny: his head bows down, and a small spark of blue energy escapes from his body

gushing_granny: "powers"

gushing_granny: "yes, you were transformed"

gushing_granny: "the void stones energy, it has bestowed upon you massive power"

gushing_granny: "r-really?"

gushing_granny: "it feels so....foreign"

gushing_granny: "but at the same time, it feels as natural as blinking"

gushing_granny: dan thrusts his arm forwards, but the energy stays stationary around his arm, boiling within his aura, it soon disperses without dan doing anything

gushing_granny: "wait, what the hell, i cant control it?"

gushing_granny: "well, of course you cant, a person like you with no prior training could never hope to-"

gushing_granny: "training?" dans eyes light up

gushing_granny: "oh no what have i done"

gushing_granny: over the next few hours, as dan and nini make their way through a dense forest, dan repeatedly makes requests to be taught how to use energy, which are repeatedly shot down by nini

gushing_granny: "please"

gushing_granny: "no."

gushing_granny: "pllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeaaaassssseeee"

gushing_granny: "i said no"

gushing_granny: "ugh, fine."

gushing_granny: "say, how did my back pack get here?"

gushing_granny: (heheheh)

gushing_granny: "it was teleported with you when jack activated his warp gear."

gushing_granny: "ahhh." dan whips out his phone

gushing_granny: "damn, its dead, i always forget to charge it!"

gushing_granny: "hmm, whats that?"

gushing_granny: "oh? this little thing. its called a smartphone. its the latest model."

gushing_granny: "you said its....dead? is it artificial intelligence?"

gushing_granny: "no, silly, its just a phone i use to text people and play games and stuff. it ran out of charge."

gushing_granny: "ran out? i can charge it for you."

gushing_granny: "huh? really? how?"

gushing_granny: "give me the 'phone' and ill show you."

gushing_granny: dan holds the phone up to the small robot, suddenly an invisible force grasps it from his hand and suspends it in air

gushing_granny: "woah, cool"

gushing_granny: suddenly all of the parts begin to separate themselves from each other, leaving a random assortment of wires and plastic and metal floating in the air

gushing_granny: "hmm, its actually pretty complex"

gushing_granny: "oh, i guess thats where you charge it, the little hole in the bottom"

gushing_granny: the phone reassembles itself

gushing_granny: "im guessing it uses....electricity?"

gushing_granny: "yep."

gushing_granny: the little robot shoots a thin bolt of energy from its eye, it attaches itself to the charging connector of the phone

gushing_granny: "there, it should work now."

gushing_granny: the phone floats back down to dan

gushing_granny: he grasps it "wow! thanks"

gushing_granny: as they continue their way through the forest, it is a little bit less boring now because dan now has flappy bird 3 to play as he walks and talks to nini

gushing_granny: after a while, the sun begins to dip below the horizon, and the landscape soon turns to nightfall

gushing_granny: "hey, lets stop here."

gushing_granny: dan puts down his backpack

gushing_granny: feeling how weighty it is, he opens it out of curiosity, the recent events making him forget the contents that are inside

gushing_granny: "oh yeah, i forgot i had these"

gushing_granny: "what?"

gushing_granny: "its some old martial arts books i bought a while ago."

gushing_granny: "i could never get it down. whatever."

gushing_granny: dan opens the book to the first page

gushing_granny: he looks at the page intently, studying the words on its crisp, thin pages

gushing_granny: he then becomes confused

gushing_granny: "huh?"

gushing_granny: he looks at the page again, a massive text box filled with long words

gushing_granny: "......"

gushing_granny: he turns to the next page, another page filled with words with a couple of pictures

gushing_granny: "wait....."

gushing_granny: dan gets up abruptly, getting into a boxer stance

gushing_granny: he throws a couple jabs at a tree, and it nearly breaks in half

gushing_granny: "WOAH"

gushing_granny: he sits back down, flipping through the pages quickly

gushing_granny: "HOW IS THIS HAPPENING"

gushing_granny: he barely looks at a page before turning to the next one, nini looks at him

gushing_granny: "you're kind of weird, kid."

gushing_granny: he looks over at nini for a second, flips her off, then directs his attention back to the book, which he was already halfway through

gushing_granny: "hey! i know what that gesture means"

gushing_granny: dan stops reading

gushing_granny: "yeah, it means 'dont call me weird'"

gushing_granny: "....."

gushing_granny: "also, how the hell do you know that?"

gushing_granny: "well um...."

gushing_granny: "a while ago, i was running a diagnostic on a-"

gushing_granny: "get to the point please."

gushing_granny: nini scoffs at dan

gushing_granny: "fine, whatever."

gushing_granny: "but, one thing i do have to say...."

gushing_granny: "you humans have an excellent grasp on how to send information from one place to another for a species that doesnt know how to use energy!"

gushing_granny: dan rolls his eyes

gushing_granny: "what do you mean by that?"

gushing_granny: "the internet, silly!"

gushing_granny: dans eyes suddenly go wide

gushing_granny: "wait....wha?"

gushing_granny: "the system was easy to decode, a rudimentary binary system, but it contained so much information about your culture!"

gushing_granny: "wait...."

gushing_granny: "you're saying you....downloaded the internet?"

gushing_granny: "if by that you mean transferred the information into my databanks, then yes."

gushing_granny: dan falls over laughing

gushing_granny: "holy shit, you crack me up....hahaha, dont tell me you read EVERYTHING on there right"

gushing_granny: "well, not everything, but...i have all of the information."

gushing_granny: dan can barely hold his keks, he rolls around on the ground laughing as hard as he can, covering himself in dirt and moss

gushing_granny: "haha, so, you know about the fappening right?"

gushing_granny: "hmm?"

gushing_granny: "oh, umm...."

gushing_granny: the light on the little robots forehead begins to glow

gushing_granny: "....."

gushing_granny: "what the hell is wrong with you people?"

gushing_granny: dan is bursting with keks

gushing_granny: "ohmygodohmygodohmygod my sides hurt so much right now"

ayy: that'd be some funny shit.

gushing_granny: after that whole deal, dan reads the rest of his martial arts books and goes to sleep, nini just kind of floats there because shes a robot

gushing_granny: dan wakes up early the next morning to indistinct animal sounds echoing throughout the forest

gushing_granny: yawn "sup nini."

gushing_granny: nini turns around "oh, you're up"

gushing_granny: "hey, ive been practicing those kick boxing moves a bit, i want to test them out, want to come watch me?"

gushing_granny: "ummm.....not really. sorry"

gushing_granny: dan looks rejected, like a girl turned him down on a date

gushing_granny: "b-but, powers and stuff"

gushing_granny: "ive seen enough interesting stuff concerning 'powers' from jack. you couldnt do anything to impress me, hate to break it to you"

gushing_granny: dan frowns "hmph!"

gushing_granny: he storms off to a location nearby, a slightly rocky landscape, covered in a blue, alien moss

gushing_granny: "hmph, cut a guy some slack, you take him away from his planet, you dump him on this stupid ass *grumble grumble grumble*"

gushing_granny: suddenly, dan hears rustling nearby

gushing_granny: "hmm, whats that"

gushing_granny: dan turns his attention towards the source of the rustling

gushing_granny: an unfamiliar form steps from behind a shrub

gushing_granny: "the hell is that?" dan gets into a boxer stance

gushing_granny: the beasts body had rough, silvery green skin

gushing_granny: small horns dotted his cranium and forehead

gushing_granny: his teeth were sharp, and he was holding a complex looking staff with a small blade at the end

gushing_granny: "the fuck, is that an orc?"

gushing_granny: the orc-like creature points at dan with one of his 3 fingers, and says "herpderpthisisntsenglishyoucantunderstandmeiwanttoeatyou" in a menacing tone

ayy: kek

gushing_granny: dan shifts his body weight forward and gets into a fighting stance, an intense look comes across his face "whatever that was, it cant be good"

gushing_granny: the small blade on top of the staff suddenly liqufies

gushing_granny: it reforms into a large spear, with serrated edges across its blade

gushing_granny: dans eyes widen a bit, but they soon return to their intense, focused look

gushing_granny: (ok)

gushing_granny: (im better at fight scenes than dialogue, so, lets see how i work this out)

gushing_granny: (shit, bear with me, i need the original story for reference)

ayy: do that m8

gushing_granny: ok

gushing_granny: the orc begins to rush dan

gushing_granny: he moves swiftly, but to dan, it looks like he is moving in slow motion

gushing_granny: he easily side steps the attack, and backflips out of the way

gushing_granny: "grr, you're making me angry"

gushing_granny: dans aura suddenly flashes dark blue, spiraling around him

gushing_granny: he sprints at the orc, the swirling energy particles acting as a sort of thrust, amplifying his speed

gushing_granny: he tries to uppercut the orc, but the orc anticipated the attack and quickly dodges, bringing down the blunt end of the staff on his head

gushing_granny: "ugh, guess i shouldnt rush him straight on"

gushing_granny: he quickly backs up and dodges several strikes by the orcs blade, waltzing back and forth across the uneven, dense forest landscape

gushing_granny: "shit, how did i do that burst of speed thing again? damnit, what are superpowers if you cant control em!"

gushing_granny: he quick steps into the orcs left side, and grabs his cloak

gushing_granny: "hyyyah!!"

gushing_granny: he lifts him up and flings him toward a boulder

gushing_granny: the nimble orc regains his composure, back flips in mid air, and slices through the bolder with ease, landing squarely on his 2 feet, he turns toward dan

gushing_granny: "hooblygooblygooblygibberishistillwanttoeatyou"

gushing_granny: "grrr...." dan grits his teeth

gushing_granny: "where the fuck is nini?"

gushing_granny: the inexperienced warriors thoughts are momentarily consumed by thoughts of how annoying nini is, and how she could totally help him if she was here right now

gushing_granny: the orc, seeing an opening, rushes dan as fast as he can, thrusting his spear forward with all his might

gushing_granny: "oh crap!" dan regains his focus and narrowly dodges the orcs blade, a small cut appearing on his cheek

ayy: If you hadn't pointed it out, I'd never have noticed

gushing_granny: hmm

gushing_granny: "urg....this bastard isnt going down easy i guess"

gushing_granny: "i already got an idea of how to use my powers....i just gotta buy a little time"

gushing_granny: dan suddenly rushes the orc, delivering a flurry of punches and kicks

gushing_granny: the orc dodges the first few, but soon succumbs to the assault

gushing_granny: he is battered and bruised by the time dan is done with his furious assault

gushing_granny: "alright, lets see if i cant pull off a badass finishing move."

gushing_granny: dan begins to close his eyes

gushing_granny: he shuts them as tight as he could

gushing_granny: he recalls a memory

gushing_granny: a few years ago

gushing_granny: he was being bullied, chased by multiple assholes who wanted a target to beat up

gushing_granny: he tried running away, but he was caught, and pushed to the ground

gushing_granny: this was just like any other off day for dan, but there was one thing he remembered in particular

gushing_granny: one of the bullies, the biggest one

gushing_granny: he kept stomping his arm

gushing_granny: relentlessly, and without stopping, even long after the other ones had

gushing_granny: his screams were so loud and pained even the other bullies began to feel sorry for him

gushing_granny: "h-hey man, hasnt he had enough?"

gushing_granny: the bully wasnt listening.

gushing_granny: "AHHH, IT HURTS, IT HURTS, STOP IT"

gushing_granny: "TAKE THIS YOU FUCKING BITCH"

gushing_granny: he finally stomped dans arm so hard, it produced an audible snap

gushing_granny: dan began to contemplate within the depths of his mind

gushing_granny: "my pain is my power."

gushing_granny: "every negative emotion, it feeds into it"

gushing_granny: "embrace the power. wander into the void of darkness"

gushing_granny: (sound familiar?)

gushing_granny: dan opens his eyes

gushing_granny: his left arm is covered in a massive swathe of blue energy, his aura is flaring wildly, like a blazing fire

gushing_granny: dan calmly speaks "perfect."

gushing_granny: he turns his attention to the orc

gushing_granny: he rushes him with as fast as he possibly can, his energy boiling within him and around his body

gushing_granny: "TAKE THIS, MY PERFECT TECHNIQUE, BORN OUT OF ALL THE HATRED AND POWER IN MY BODY"

gushing_granny: he slings his arm forward as hard he can, shifting his entire body into the attack

gushing_granny: "DESTRON PUNCH!"

gushing_granny: he makes contact with the orc, the mass of energy explodes, the shockwave propelling the orc back wards an extremely long distance, the energy scattering throughout the trees in the forest

gushing_granny: "ahhhhhhgibberish" the orc exclaims as he flies off

gushing_granny: dan smirks

gushing_granny: "got em."

gushing_granny: as his adrenaline rush wears off from fighting, he suddenly feels a massive pain in his body

gushing_granny: "AHHH!"

gushing_granny: the pain is so great, he falls to the ground, clutching his forearm

gushing_granny: "i...i think i overdid it....."

gushing_granny: "haha, yeah you did."

gushing_granny: dan looks up surprised

gushing_granny: he sees the little robot, floating up there all innocent

gushing_granny: "nini, what the fuck?"

gushing_granny: "you were gone for a bit. i wanted to come to check up on you. you should be more careful. you doing ok?" nini chided sarcastically

gushing_granny: dan gets up

gushing_granny: "....im fine."

gushing_granny: he frowns, and looks at his arm

gushing_granny: nini sighs

gushing_granny: "look, stop trying to be tough, i saw the fight."

gushing_granny: dan looks down at the ground, dejected

gushing_granny: "......"

gushing_granny: now, obviously i need to heal you, i can tell from here you shredded your arm.

gushing_granny: "......yeah"

gushing_granny: "but, before i do, i need to tell you something important."

gushing_granny: "......yeah?"

gushing_granny: "do you know what you just did?"

gushing_granny: "....sort of"

gushing_granny: "you just wielded one of the most powerful energies i have ever seen."

gushing_granny: "with no prior training, and next to no practice."

gushing_granny: dan looks up

gushing_granny: "needless to say, there is a bit more to you than i thought."

gushing_granny: dan beams at nini "heh. thanks."

gushing_granny: "no problem."

gushing_granny: "but, you need to learn something."

gushing_granny: "ive seen many people get consumed by powerful energies such as yours"

gushing_granny: dan clutches his head, thinking "how the hell did all of this happen again?"

gushing_granny: "you've witnessed first hand what that energy can do to you."

gushing_granny: "right?"

gushing_granny: dan nods slowly

gushing_granny: "so, i want you to promise me, never use it."

gushing_granny: "what!?"

gushing_granny: "you heard me."

gushing_granny: "you saw what happened right?"

gushing_granny: "that guy had me on the ropes!"

gushing_granny: "and there is no telling how many more there ar-"

gushing_granny: suddenly an arrow sails through the air and hits dan in the back, but it bounces off

gushing_granny: "AHHGH"

gushing_granny: he whirls around, and sees more a small group of orc-like creatures

gushing_granny: they are wearing armor that was similar to the on the other orc was wearing, but they were all carrying ranged weapons

gushing_granny: "gibberishgibberishbeiggersisjbsjibyoucantunderstandmedontlethimgetaway"

gushing_granny: "oh shit, run!"

gushing_granny: dan and nini run off, eventually losing the group of orcs

gushing_granny: "arrgh! my arm is killing me! heal this thing, please?"

gushing_granny: "only if you promise to NEVER use that energy ever again. its dangerous!"

gushing_granny: "I BARELY MANAGED TO FEND OFF THAT OTHER GUY, LET ALONE THAT GROUP THAT WAS WITH HIM"

gushing_granny: nini pauses

gushing_granny: jack bows his head

gushing_granny: "sorry for yelling"

gushing_granny: "but, you said yourself, if we are going to survive on this planet and get home, we need to work together"

gushing_granny: "......"

gushing_granny: "getting you home alive is more important than you tearing yourself apart by trying to use things you CANNOT comprehend."

gushing_granny: "you have no clue what i am being put through right now"

gushing_granny: "do you know what i am?"

gushing_granny: "w-wha"

gushing_granny: "I SAID, DO YOU KNOW, WHAT I AM"

gushing_granny: "...."

gushing_granny: "i am an artificial being."

gushing_granny: "i am confined to this....thing"

gushing_granny: nini whirls around in the air, gesturing to to her own diminutive, robotic body

gushing_granny: "......all i have ever wanted is to have a real body"

gushing_granny: "the truth is, i envy you"

gushing_granny: "but no, you to go off and destroy yourself with your so called 'powers'!"

gushing_granny: "I cant fucking stand you!"

gushing_granny: "seeing someone act with such blatant disregard for their own life sickens me!"

gushing_granny: dan gives nini the stink eye

gushing_granny: "thats right idiot, you sicken me."

gushing_granny: dan remains quiet

gushing_granny: "if you would just listen to me instead of running off in your own stupid fantasies, and actually fucking think for once, maybe you would be able to come to understand why things are the way they are."

gushing_granny: "im sorry to tell you, but this isnt about your stupid little 'powers' its about your and my safety."

gushing_granny: "i want nothing more but for this to end, so i can dump you where you belong, and get back to my home."

gushing_granny: ".....fine."

gushing_granny: nini was surprised at this response, she expected dan to yell more

gushing_granny: "if its going to be that way.....fine."

gushing_granny: "ill never use energy ever again."

gushing_granny: "so just heal me, so we can get off this stupid planet, and you can 'dump' me where I belong."

gushing_granny: nini looks at dan

gushing_granny: "look, i got....im.....right....you're right."

gushing_granny: nini projects a beam of light from her eye, it heals dans arm

gushing_granny: "there."

gushing_granny: "now, we can move on."

gushing_granny: "fine, lets go, artificial intelligence. the sooner i get off this planet and away from you, the better."

gushing_granny: nini was about to scold dan for calling her "artificial intelligence", but after the things she had just said to him, she decided to keep quiet

gushing_granny: end of part 3

ayy: It's awesome so far

gushing_granny: yaay