Super Mario 64 Human Feasibility

Super Mario 64 stars possible with normal human abilities, including arm strength, jump height, weight, etc.
For this practice we will be considering humans both short and tall, skinny and fat, of different athletic abilities, etc. For the sake of demonstration we'll limit the number of people to about 100 in a level at any given time. This will be on a star-by-star basis so as to not end the game without being able to access everything. All physics shall be based as close to reality as possible except when needed to make things slightly more possible (examples include warps in levels that still work, actually jumping into a painting, and physically landing into levels/secret areas will let you be perfectly fine when landing. Caps are unusable

1. Bob-omb Battlefield

a. Big Bob-omb on the Summit
Possibility: Slim to None
Reasoning: The humans could probably get up to the top of the mountain due to the fact that there's no major pitfalls, but actually lifting and throwing King Bob-omb would be next to impossible considering he's made of cast-iron and is like twelve feet tall. Unless we consider pushing him down which could be feasible, I'd still chalk it up to a no.

b. Footrace with Koopa the Quick
Possibility: Very Possible
A simple footrace, and with humans able to tackle some slopes better than Mario and humans being slightly taller than him it's entirely possible that a sprinter could make it. It could be made even easier if a human was waiting at the top before talking to Koopa the Quick.


c. Shoot to the Island in the Sky
Possiblity: Slim to None, Very Possible with Wing Cap
If humans could talk to the red Bob-omb and open the cannon halfway up the mountain, you'd still break a bunch of your bones even with the most horizontal of flight trajectories. You could possibly keep shooting humans up there and somebody could land in the pile at the apex of their jump and be healthy enough to grab the star, but with the no-dying rule that seems very unlikely. Possible with Wing Cap.

d. Find the 8 red coins
Possibility: Almost
Humans could grab 7/8 of these with no major problem (besides dealing with a Chain Chomp), but the Red coin for the island in the sky is still an issue. You could shoot a guy out there and collect it, but then he's just a flying corpse at that point.

e. Mario Wings to the Sky
Possibility: None, Possible with Wing Cap
Getting up to the island is hard enough, but trying to launch more humans out to collect those secrets in the sky would be overkill. If you had a Wing Cap that worked like it does in the game it would technically be possible.

f. Behind Chain Chomp's Gate
Possibility: Very Possible
Just get somebody skinny to walk through those bars and grab it. Not too hard besides distracting the Chain Chomp.

g. 100 Coin Star
Possibility: None, Possible with Wing Cap
Even if you ran around collecting every coin and defeated every enemy on the ground, you'd still have to contend with getting up to that Island and collecting at least one coin in the sky. Of course Wing Cap makes this even easier.

2. Whomp's Fortress

a. Chip Off Whomp's Block
Possiblity: Moderate-Slim
You could get a decent amount of people to the top of Whomp's Fortress without much difficulty. Whether you could stomp all over King Whomp is a different question entirely. Suppose you did get a bunch of athletic people to the top, would normal punches and kicks on top of him be enough? If we pretend that underneath the bandage is some peat moss or something else that's soft connected to Whomop's CNS then theoretically it could work.

b. To the Top of the Fortress
Possibility:Moderate to Slim
Same deal as the first one, but since everybody's slightly taller than Mario it could be possible to scale the tower if you're careful not to fall. Requires extreme athleticism.

c. Shoot Into the Wild Blue
Possibility: Slim-None
I highly doubt you could find somebody athletic enough to swing themselves down from the top to get onto the pole to climb down to the star. It MIGHT be possible if a couple dozen people piled themselves up and served as stepping stones to reach it

d. Red Coins on the Floating Isle
Possibility: Moderate-Slim
If we could get some strong people to push over the wooden board while avoiding the Bullet Bills, it's technically possible to head back down to the star. The Red Coin on top of the Thwomp might give us some trouble though.

e. Fall Onto the Caged Island
Possibility: Slim-None
Unless the owl is super-powered and can carry a 150-200 pound guy this heist isn't even gonna get off the ground. If we pretend that you're invincible after you collect the star AND the owl could carry you then you might be able to make the case that you could grab it without dying. However as it is now, probably not.

f. Blast Away the Wall
Possibility: Almost 0
Unless the real-world physics we're applying also makes that piece of wall rickety as all hell and could be knocked off with a decent kick this one's busto. You'll break your head open shooting yourself at the wall. UNLESS, of course, we use the speedrun strat of running off the wooden plank and glitching into the wall by touching a little piece of star, but the chance is so slim that we'd lose about fifty humans before it's possible.

g. 100 coin star
Possibility: Very Possible
Surprisingly doesn't require that much jumping or manual labor, and if you can get to all the places that you can with the previous star then it's entirely possible, especially if you can hit the Blue Coin switch.

3. Jolly Roger Bay

General Notes: I don't think we're getting anywhere with this boys.

a. Plunder in the Sunken Ship
b. Can the Eel Come out to Play?
c. Treasure of the Ocean Cove
Possibilities: 0, unless we had Scuba gear
Let's face it, these three stars are gonna be hard as hell unless we've got the ability to dive deep underwater. If we DID have scuba gear however, all we'd have to so is lure the Eel out for both Plunder and Eel, then grab the star in the ship/swipe near the eel's tail, even easier with multiple people

d. Red Coins on the Ship Float
Possiblity:0, Moderate-Slim if we had Scuba Gear
For the Red coins in the water it's as simple as swimming up to them if we had scuba gear (which might be cheating), but the two problem areas will be the red coin on the stalagmite by the Red Bob-omb and the coins on the ship. If we had somebody athletic who could climb up to the top of the pole we could get it as well as getting up to the platform itself, that coin's taken care of. For the coins on the ship as long as we jump at the right time to get on the physical ship from the dock and then use the window as a stepping stone to grab the higher up ones, I'd say it's possible.

e. Blast to the Stone Pillar:
Possibility: 0
Unless there's star invincibility (AKA you're invincible as long as you grab the star), getting shot out of a cannon onto a rock formation is instant death.

f. Through the Jet Stream
Possibility: 0, Slim if we had Scuba Gear
You'd need to be an AMAZING swimmer to get through that current, but Mario's able to do it without even using the Metal Cap, so it's still technically possible.

g. 100 Coin Star
Possibility: 0
4. Cool Cool Mountain

General Thoughts: I hope you packed your ski pants because things are gonna get chilly in here.

a. Slip Slidin' Away
Possibilty: Very Possible
It's as simple as getting in that chimney and slowly sliding down the ice so we don't die. We probably can't take the secret area though, that'd just lead to us getting splatted against the side of a chimney. Then it's a simple walk out to the star.

b. Lil' Penguin Lost
Possiblity: Very Possible
As long as you take your time walking down the mountain and wear some warm clothes, this should be one of the easier stars. Plus you get to hang on to a cool little penguin buddy. Just don't lose him!

c. Big Penguin Race
Possibilty: Possible
This one's quite a bit more difficult because we've got to beat the penguin at his own game on his home turf, but if we get somebody who knows how to slide real good then the big guy might be small enough. Big Penguin could also pack on the pounds if we entered into a 120 star save file, but that also might mean we lose more people off the sides.

d. Frosty Slide for 8 Red Coins
Possibility: Moderate-Slim
Most of the coins shouldn't prove to be too difficult providing we can get back up the mountain using the warp. However, the Red Coin near the ice block is down an incredibly steep decline near the warp point so it'll take a very athletic human to slide down without dying. In order to get to the star itself it might take a few of us bunching up on the portion of the mountain you normally slide down near the Blue Coin switch and pushing somebody over the edge.

e. Snowman's Lost His Head
Possibility: Moderate-Slim
We gotta outrun a giant snowball. Easier said than done, but if it moves at the speed it does in the game then a fast sledder might be able to do the trick.

f. Wall Kicks Will Work
Possibility: Almost impossible
We'd need a lot of bodies piling up to get up to where that star is, plus getting tons of those people safely across that huge gap? No way, can't be done with humans.

g.100 Coin Star
Possibilty: Possible
As long as we take our time down the slide and make sure to collect all coins whenever possible, definitely feasible, especially if we can reach that Blue Coin button.

5. Big Boo's Haunt

General Thoughts: Spooky. Let's assume that we can kill ghosts by distracting them and whacking them from behind while corporeal, just like we assume we can kill Goombas.

a. Go on a Ghost Hunt
Possibility: Very Possible
As long as don't get too spooked, all the Boos on the ground floor are easily reachable by humans. For the Boos behind the portrait that you can only walk through, just wait around for like thirty seconds with all our backs turned and the Boos should just come waltzing through. King Boo's basically the same as long as one person's distracting him.

b. Ride Big Boo's Merry-Go-Round
Possibility: Very Possible
We can get to the Merry-Go-Round pretty easily if we avoid the giant eyes, and as long as we keep our footing and don't get torched the actual Merry-Go-Round portion isn't too bad. Very dangerous though.

c. Secret of the Huanted Books
Possibility: Very Possible
It's just heading upstairs and solving a simple puzzle while trying not to get murdered by giant books.

d. Seek the Eight Red Coins
Possibility: Very Possible
Don't get spooked by the piano and this is a pretty easy Star. If we can climb up bookshelves, that is. If bookcases are just solid polygonal shapes in this weirdo Mario 64 world we found ourselves in then we just need to pile a bunch of us up to reach the higher ones.

e. Big Boo's Balcony
Possibility: Slim
If we can climb the bookshelves and reach the balcony through the door in the library, then beating King Boo and getting the Star to appear should be easy. However, we'd need to find somebody who's good with steep inclines, because it's a long way down.

f. Eye to Eye in the Secret Room
Possibility: Almost 0
If caps don't work then I don't see how we can break through that Boo painting, unless it's structurally weak.

g. 100 coin star
Possbility: Moderate-Slim
If we can beat all the boos, smush all the spiders, and climb those bookshelves, I don't see why this star wouldn't be possible.


6. Hazy Maze Cave
General Thoughts: Long falls, poison, and rolling boulders. Uh oh.

a. Swimming Beast in the Cavern
Possibility: Very Possible
If we can survive the fall after sliding down the pole (should be okay as long as we're slow and brace ourselves), can take our time while in the Rolling Rock Cavern, avoid the Rolling Rocks themselves, and make it into the water, I'm pretty sure a human could get to Nessie, pat her back, then climb up and direct her to the
Star.

b. Elevate for 8 Red Coins
Possibility: Moderate-Slim
Getting up to the area with the elevator should be possible with a few people to make a ladder, but having around four people on the elevator with the directional buttons on the ground would be really difficult unless you were incredibly coordinated. Also we'll need to break about the Nature Valley Granola blocks to get to coins. Finally, it requires us to climb up about twenty feet on a pole to get on the other moving platform, and some quick footing to grab all eight of them. We'll need a man on the ground to grab it as soon as it pops up, because that moving platform up top disappears/crashes at the end.

c. Metal-Head Mario Can Move!
Possibility: 0
We can swim down and press the switch at the bottom of Hazy Maze Cave no problem, but those two pits require long jumps, no question about it.

d. Navigating the Toxic Maze
Possibility: 0
If you could survive the fall into the Maze (you probably couldn't) and hold your breath you could traverse the maze, but there's no way we could hold our breaths and stack ourselves up to climb up and get to that Elevator. Also nobody's arm would be skinny or long enough to reach it from the other side.

e. A-Maze-Ing Emergency Exit
Possibility: 0
You COULD theoretically pile a bunch of people and have somebody climb over to the Star like monkey bars, but you'd need to double jump to get to the door in the cave, so this one's a no-go too.

f. Watch for Rolling Rocks
Possibility: Moderate
No need for QPUS here! All we've gotta do is pile up around twenty or so people and climb up to that Star.

g. 100 Coin Star
Possibility: Very Slim-None
I just don't see this happening. The 8 red Coins, beating enemies, surviving the fall into Hazy Maze, just too many variables to consider. I'm marking this as a no for now, but if you can prove me wrong I'd love to see it


7. Lethal Lava Land

General Notes: I highly doubt even most Olympic long jumpers could make it over the first hurdle of jumping over the first pit of lava. However that wouldn't be much fun so just play with me for a bit and assume that it's feasible to get a bunch of average Joes and Jodies over that pit. Also the concept of lava hasn't been live tested, but for practical purposes we're gonna say that lava will give you insane burns and will probably kill you/dismember you, especially at the distances from it you'll be in this level, but for argument's sake we'll say that you're just really hot unless you touch it.

a. Boil the Big Bully
Possibility: Slim-0
It's physically possible to get to the Big Bully as a regular human, but it'll take some quick feet to get across the drawbridge and stay safe on Bowser's Big Puzzle.
Considering he's a giant ball of iron, it'd be pretty hard to push him into the lava. I suppose if you could team up and jump out of the way just before he charges then get like five people on his back to push him it could be possible, but then you'd need somebody light on their feet to get up to where the star lands.

b. Bully the Bullies
Possibility: Slim-0
Also theoretically possible for a human to go the other way as long as they take their time, transition from the rotating Volcano ring to the Sidewinder piece, then run across the lava while it's lower and catch the grating in time to hop onto the Bullies. After that it'll be a war of attrition between giant balls of iron, but if the strategy from BtBB works then it should theoretically work here.

c. 8-Coin Puzzle with 15 Pieces
Possibility: Possible
If you can Boil the Big Bully then you can take your time on Bowser's Puzzle Piece and collect all eight.

d. Red-Hot Log Rolling
Possibility: Slim-None
This all depends on that big ol' log you need to slide across. If it's all wonky like it is in Mario 64 you're gonna lose a lot of people in the lava. However if you do make it across that log then the star is right there up for grabs.

e. Hot-Foot-It Into the Volcano
Possibility: 0
We can get into the Volcano by carefully jumping from the spinning volcano ring, and based on the rule of being able to survive the fall into a level we'll apply it here for good measure so our legs don't break. Our first problem lies in the bit of the wall that slams down on you that requires Mario to double jump. We could maybe get one guy over, but then everybody who was helping you to get over would probably be crushed. And after that you'd need to be the greatest Ninja Warrior contestant of all time to jump from steel beam to steel beam.

f. Elevate in the Volcano
Possibility: Moderate
It may take a really good pole climber, but the platforms are spaced well enough in that volcano that it should be possible for us to jump from platform to platform to get to the star without dying. Most difficult part is timing our jump from Elevator 1 to Elevator 2.

g. 100 Coin Star
Possibility: Oh Hell No
There's just no way you're going to get to some of the far-reaching areas of LLL, not without a Koopa shell/great jumps (both of which are unavailable to us).


8. Shifting Sand Land

General Notes:  I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

a. In the Talons of the Big Bird
Possibility: Slim-0
I suppose it's possible to snatch it out of his talons if we get on top of one of the four pillars and wait for him. That'd require about 30 dudes piled up to get one guy up top. Theoretically we should be alright if we had to jump off the pillar if the sand is soft enough.

b. Shining Atop the Pyramid
Possibility: Very Possible
Avoid the Fly Guys, the Whirlwinds and all those weird face boxes, and this Star shouldn't be too bad if you can climb up steep inclines.

c. Inside the Ancient Pyramid
Possibility: Mostly Possible
It'll require some finesse, but this is definitely doable. Note: Let's assume that the Quicksand is basically death unless you can pull yourself up near it or have people helping you. Just take your time, climb up a few poles, hide in the alcove to avoid the rolling guy, and make a mad dash underneat the stompy square near the end, and all you'll really need is one guy to kneel down to use as a stepping stone and you've got your Star!

d. Stand Tall on the Four Pillars
Possibility: 0
If there's sand in that level that sinks Mario like a stone then there's NO goddamn way we're getting to that one pillar and use the pileup method used for Star 1. However if we DID somehow manage to stand on all four, the boss would be beatable, but probably icky. Who wants to plunge their fist into a giant eye? Not it!

e. Free Flying for 8 Red Coins
Possibility: 0
No way Jose, we're not losing all these good men just for an 8 Red Coin star.

f. Pyramid Puzzle
Possibility: Very Slim-0
This one will require us to fall down a really far distance to grab each of the first three secret coins. The last two wouldn't be too hard if we just jumped on the side of the sand river and carefully reached for the coins.

g. 100 Coin Star
Possibility: Very Slim
It'll be real difficult, but I suppose if we explored as much as we could of the pyramid and the outside it might be possible.


9. Dire, Dire Docks

General Notes: All of these are gonna require scuba gear. Otherwise just knock this level off the list of possibilities besides maybe the Manta Ray

a. Board Bowser's Sub
Possibility: 0, Possible with scuba Gear
This one isn't too bad with gear, one person presses the switch while an active climber gets ready on the Nature Valley Granola platforms. Do a running jump to the top of the Sub and grab your star!
(NOTE: We can also keep the sub in the harbor and do a couple other stars if we want)

b. Chests in the Current
Possibility: Moderate-Slim with Gear
As long as we have strong swimmers who can keep away from the middle then we should be okay as long as we know the order. Getting shocked like Mario does underwater would kill a man real quick.

c. Pole-Jumping for Red Coins
Possiblity: Easy with Gear
This level would be pretty fun to do seeing as how it's very low-risk; if you fall off one of the poles going back and forth you just fall into the water. The one problem I can see is getting the two coins that require a Mario-like leap from pole to pole, but if you grab onto the red meshing with your normal hands then it should be okay.

d. Through the Jet Stream
Possibility: Moderate-Slim with Gear
You're gonna need to be a real strong swimmer to do this one, but still possible.

e. The Manta Ray's Reward
Possibility: Slim without Gear, Very Possible With
If you don't have gear a human could theoretically swim around with the ray about ten feet deep and go through his rings but it would NOT be a fun time.

f. 100 Coin Star
Possibility: Very Possible with Gear

It's just staying safe in the water and grabbing all the red coins/blue coins again. Really not too bad a star.

10. Snowman's Land

General Notes: This level blows (you to your death) Also important to note that the water that's incredibly cold would give you hypothermia, but you could technically swim in it for a little bit. Let's pretend that there's some warm beds with hot chocolate set up for people coming back from winter levels and we've got some parkas to prevent dying. The water near the bully acts like lava and I have NO idea how it'd affect a human.

a. Snowman's Big Head
Possibility: Slim-0
Sorry, this guy's head is just WAY too big, and with such little space to pile up we'd have a hell of a time getting up there. Another thing to note is that the conveyor belt with the small/big snowdrifts coming your way on the way up doesn't help either.

b. Chill with the Bully
Possibility: Moderate-Slim
Ice is WAY lighter than cast iron, so you should have an easier time of dealing with this one.

c. In the Deep Freeze
Possibility: Very Possible
Even in the dead of winter things are gonna get a little heated when we shove five dudes into a tiny space to get one person up to the top. Luckily it's not that high to get on top of the first ice block. Very doable if we're coordinated.

d. Whirl From the Freezing Pond
Possiblity: Very Slim-0
There's no way we're scaling that pond with that hypothermia water in there. We'd either need to pile up like 60 people to get one person on top of the cliff near the Eastern most point from the starting position, or just give up.

e. Shell Shreddin' for Red Coins
Possibility: 0
We're gonna get rocked by cold water and that weird lava water, I just don't see this happening.

f. Into the Igloo
Possibility: Incredibly Slim-0
If we somehow survived the freezing water and could climb up to the igloo, we'd still have to break through a huge chunk of ice with your bare hands to get to that Star.

g. 100 Coin Star
Possibility: Moderate-Slim
I think it's doable as long as we avoid the freezing water and maybe duplicate that coin purse monster once or twice.

11. Wet-Dry World

General Notes: Half the fun of this level is gonna be us messing with the water level before we step foot in it. Should be possible if we all pile up like we do in other parts of the game.

a. Shocking Arrow Lifts!
Possibility: Very Possible
All we need to do is set the water level up to its highest, position one guy near the star, then lower the water level so he can hit the box and grab it.

b. Top o' the Town
Possibility: Possible
If a guy can long jump across that first lava pit in LLL, then there's a very high chance that they can get across the first major hurdle to the Chuckya after hitting the Highest-level water switch. After that it's avoiding the Chuckya, trying not to get sick on the rotating platforms, and grabbing that star.

c. Secrets in the Shallows and Sky
Possibility: Moderate-Slim

If we all work together to push that one pushable block into the wall, then all we'll need is around five or six people to stand by the secrets and lower the water accordingly. Might also require some stacking to hit that one secret box on top of the pillar and the one you need to push the block for.

d. Express Elevator- Hurry Up!
Possibility: Moderate
If we have like ten people stacked up at the bottom ready to get one guy on top of the elevator, then all we'll need is one guy to step on the switch to push it down.

e. Go to Town for Red Coins:
Possibility: Slim
I feel like we'll need scuba gear for 5 and six, but otherwise we don't need to worry too much about cannons because we can just grab onto the wire and climb over the first major hurdle. If we had scuba gear we could just position people around where the breakable coins are, but if we didn't it'd be a really good swimmer swimming a great distance to come up for air, and traversing the rest is a different story.

f. Quick Race Through Downtown!
Possibility: Moderate-Slim
Again if we had scuba gear this would be really easy, since we could just swim through the bars blocking us from the star and grab it. Without scuba gear (and if the water level was down), we'd need to get like 30 lanky dudes through and push somebody up about 20 feet to get to the star.

g. 100 Coin Star
Possibility: Very Possible
Teamwork solves everything, but we might need scuba gear to get to the village and collect enough coins.


12. Tall, Tall Mountain

General Notes: Okay so everybody dies on the first jump unless we pile up around 80 people at the bottom of the first cliff, and even then we'd also need to get past the second bottomless one.

a. Scale the mountain
Possibility: 0
Even if we ignore the first and second jump, there's no way you're making it up to the log or across the waterfall. You might be able to skip the log by climbing on the vines, but even then it's next to impossible.

b. Mystery of the Monkey Cage
Possibility: 0
Basically the same as scaling the mountain, but involves catching a monkey and grabbing the star at the base of the waterfall. Unable to achieve even if you had somebody waiting at the base of the falls.

c. Scary Shrooms, Red Coins
Possibility: Very Slim
If you can scale the vines and are careful on the shrooms you could get the star to appear. However you'd have to thread the needle real good if you want to make it to the star on the Mushroom and not go splat.

d. Mysterious Mountainside
Possibility: 0
If you could somehow get past the long jump falls and land yourself in the secret slide you'd be doing alright; except for the very end when there's a thirty foot drop and you break your bottom.;

e. Breathtaking View from Bridge
Possibility: 0
There's no way you could grab onto the ledge to get this star without slipping and falling to your death. If the long jump across the falls won't kill you, the extreme current will.

f. Blast to the Lonely Mushroom
Possibility: Very Slim
If you could slide down to the Red Bob-omb then get somebody in the cannon, it'd take some amazing aim to hit that star without dying.

g. 100 Coin Star
Possibility: 0
With so much of the level locked off because of that one long jump, this one isn't going to happen for a while.

13. Tiny-Huge Island

General Notes: Unless we let wind work the way it does in Mario 64 (with an updraft capable of pulling and adult human up), most of this level's busto before we even start. Also we'd have to make a long jump to reach the area with the wind anyway.

a. Pluck the Piranha Flower
Possibility: Very Slim
If you got enough people in the water you could somehow get a few people to scramble up to the platform where the plants are in tiny world, jump into the Huge World, then distract the plants while you pluck them out to grab that star. I thought of trying to go the long way around in Huge Island but the way the wind works in these games prevents the average human from floating with it.

b. The Tip Top of the Huge Island
Possibility: Incredibly Slim
If we got to the same place we did with Pluck the Piranha Flower and could step on the switch, it could be possible to get on the Nature Valley Granola Bar bridge, have one person kneel down and get some especially athletic people on the tiny ridge with the rolling ball to get up to the pipe before the tallest part of the mountain. However we'd need tons of people to pile up to climb on top of it that it isn't very viable.

c. Rematch with Koopa the Quick
Possibility: Moderate
If we do that fancy footwork from Star 2 to get up to the pipe before the tallest part, then it's totally feasible that we could beat Koopa the Quick since it's basically a straight line to the star with a few huge steps to climb down. The wind on the bridge would be our only issue, and we'd need to be as fast as Mario. Maybe Koopa the Quick's a bit of a dummy and we can have somebody grab onto the flag and trick him?

d. Five Itty Bitty Secrets
Possibility: Moderate
Since this is just moving around the tiny parts of this level this part should be a snap besides the initial jump on Nature Valley Bridge. Just get people to those spots and have somebody grab the star when it appears.

e. Wiggler's Red Coins
Possibility: Slim-0
We could crawl up the side of the mountain by entering in Huge and walk across the wood into Wiggler's domain, but that last coin is a doozy. The ones on the ground are simple enough with some climbing. One solution is to pile people up people near the Blue Coin Switch to get somebody to grab onto the mesh from above and make their way over to the last Red Coin, but they'll need incredible upper body strength to accomplish this.

f. Make Wiggler Squirm
Possibility: Moderate-Slim
If giving Wiggler a good knock on the head is enough to make him angry then it shouldn't be so hard to get up there if we take the concept of climbing on the mesh but take it one step further and climb up from the mesh into Wiggler's room. Hell if we didn't douse him with water from above he might just give us the star because he's friendly.

g. 100 Coin Star
Possibility: Moderate to Slim
It could work if we accomplish everything from these other stars in one go of it and nobody gets hurt.


14. Tick-Tock Clock

General Notes: Fuck

a. Roll Into the Cage
Possibility: Moderate
So we're gonna need to set this clock to 12 or the three rotating blocks are just not gonna work out. This first star's surprisingly easy to get to besides the very last bit, but if you've got 2-3 people who can piggy back off one another/boost somebody over the final hurdle, getting into the cage isn't so bad.

b. The Pit and the Pendulums
Possibility: Basically 0
And herein lies the problem, where we need some of the clock parts to be moving in order for a normal human to traverse the clock. However this makes those three rotating blocks basically impossible, even for a Ninja Warrior contestant. This also prevents us from going up the Red Coins way. If we DID somehow manage to get past those blocks with the time set at 3, then it would be possible to make it to the star if you took your time.

c. Get a Hand
Possibility: Basically 0
This one requires you to have a moving clock as well. However if you did manage to get past the three blocks it'd be an easy jump to the Star if you stayed on the hand as it rotated around.

d. Stomp on the Thwomp
Possibility: 0
There's just no way, even with the clock at 12; too many huge jumps over pits and strangely shaped blocks to even think of attempting. Abandon all hope

e. Timed Jumps On Moving Bars
Possibility: 0
Just like the last star, the amount of dexterity one man would need would be Super Mario levels, especially the last bit. Not a chance.

f. Stop Time for Red Coins
Possibility: Moderate
If you were incredibly dedicated and had two people who were great at parkour you'd be able to collect the coins. A nice change of pace from the last few.

15. Rainbow Ride

General Notes: Mario Must Die Mode

a. Cruiser Crossing the Rainbow
Possibility: Moderate
You could probably get right up to the cruiser itself with decent effort, but as soon as you hit the falling platforms you gotta act really fast to get one person up and the person underneath safe. Otherwise it's totally possible.

b. The Big House in the Sky
Possibilty: 0

Making a fork to the right from the first star, the tall glass platform surrounded by falling platforms in the middle make this damn near impossible for normal humans.

c. Coins Amassed in a MAze
Possibility: Almost 0
The amount of climbing and stacking of human bodies you'd have to do (combined with some really wonky setups and close quarters) make this one nigh impossible.

d. Swingin in the Breeze
Possibility: 0
This star's totally doable if you can get a few people to practice a balancing act to get a couple people up on top of the first scale, but after the second scale and the falling platforms that follow it'd be damn near impossible for you to not fall to your death.

e. Tricky Triangles!
Possibility: 0
Just like the last one, but this time you've gotta do another obstacle course that Mario himself has difficulty with. No way.

f. Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Possibility: 0
Requires you to talk to a Red Bobomb that requires wall kicking to get up to, which isn't gonna happen any time soon. Even if the cannon was already open you'd still have to launch yourself from the Rainbow Cruiser (Already almost impossible to get up to) and break open a box containing the star, so you couldn't just fly right into it and be invincible afterwards.

g. 100 Coin Star
Possibility: 0
This just isn't gonna work out.

And that's all the main courses. Now let's cover the Secret Stars.

The Princess' Secret Slide

a.Participation Award
Possibility: Very Possible
Possibly the most fun we'll have all game because we're just racing along, and falling doesn't count as death since we just warp right back to the foyer.

b.The Time Attack Star
Possibility: Slim
If we can find one person among us who is REALLY good at sliding and has the same slide physics as Mario then it might be possible, but otherwise it's just gonna be us running down the slide for a good long while

The Secret Aquarium
Possibility: 0, Very Possible with Scuba gear
This'll require a lot of stacking and some scuba gear, but it is doable if we get warped out as soon as we're done.

Bowser in the Dark World (8 Red Coins)
Possibility: Possible (Slim)
It'll require some fancy footwork and a balancing act to get somebody up to Bowser, but it is totally possible. For the 8 red coins basically all of them are available except for the last one on top of the pillars, but that'll require us to perform a balancing act in the opposite direction and get a good long jump across the gap. As for the final staircase activated by a Switch, all we'd need to do is slide up real slow and it'll be fine.

Toad's Stars(3)
Possibility: Easy
Just walk up and talk to them

Tower of the Wing Cap (Wing Cap)
Possibility: 0
I mean we won't die, but flying caps just don't work, so I guess we could look up into the sun in the foyer and keep falling (unless we tried falling with style), but we still can't collect those coins.

Cavern of the Metal Cap
Possibility: Very Slim
If we just need to dive down deep then it shouldn't be a problem, but the amount of current going through there for Mario means that it's gonna take a lot of diving and a lot of tries to get right. Actually pushing the switch is possible, but we won't gain the effects of the Metal Cap

Vanish Cap Under the Moat
Possibility: Very Slim
Getting the 8 red coins should be alright if we just take our time, balance correctly, and have an incredibly agile guy go on the checkerboard patterns and get up to the Switch. We can't use the Vanish Cap, but we can climb over the fence using non-Italian hands to grab the star.

MIPS the Rabbit (2 Stars)
Possibilty: Super Easy
Ten of us and only one of him. Gimme

Bowser in the Fire Sea (Red Coins)
Possibility: Moderate (Slim)
Once again if we were humans we could still probably get through the Fire Sea if we applied ourselves. However for the 8 Red Coins we'd need to be incredibly careful about getting the one under the elevator in the cage, with somebody taking the elevator up while somebody stays down, who then hangs off the edge and dangles their feet to get the coin. Otherwise it's standard fare besides the lava and imminent death.

Wing Mario Over the Rainbow
Possibility: 0
You'd just fall through the cloud. Even if you could stand on it the Wing Cap doesn't work. At least if you fall you won't die. You could technially just send around ten people into the level and if you COULD stand on the clouds and they were cushy enough to keep you from dying if you fell on them it still wouldn't be possible because the Wing Cap is required for one of the coins.

Bowser in the Sky (Red Coins)
Possibility: 0
You can't scale the very first major wall that you come up to so you're kind of stuck there. You can collect the first Red Coin if you're careful about it. Even if you could scale the wall there are too many long jumps that can't be solved by stacking.


And finally, Bowser himself.
Possibility: Very Slim
Basically all the Bowser fights are the same, get one person to grab his tail then get four really strong dudes to grab with you so you could drag him into a bomb. Fire Sky Bowser will jump incredibly high and might send you straight into the lava unless you have an incredibly firm grip.



FINAL COUNT:

Stars that are theoretically possible if we had about 50 people all scrambling around who were all able bodied:86
Stars that are basically impossible unless we had superhumans: 36
Stars that have a better possibility than Slim: 51


6900 words.