xeno rant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOKIBbtbwIc&t=3h2m33s

Let's do this! It's an auto...is it really an auto? You said it was easy, you didn't say it was an auto...it's not an auto. Why is it called an auto then? Hold on, wait. "Hold down." Well I'm holding down. Okay. Ugh! Oh, this isn't an auto! Why does it say auto? It's not an auto. I can't believe, even with an auto level, you've managed to annoy me! How did you do that, Endrr, that's incredible! You're supposed to let go...you've gotta let go for the auto part! URRGH! Why does it say auto.

(Souldominator12: "are you going to end stream soon")

Unfortunately so, Soul, unfortunately so. Ugh, I can't believe, I really can't believe, ugh. Yes Soul, I am, I'm sorry it's going to have to end soon, but 1) I'm tired, 2) I have lots of things to do before I actually need to go to sleep, but I uh, not-uh, need to go to sleep, I've got a load of things to do-I need to do before I go to sleep, but I need to go to sleep as well, and then I've got a busy day ahead tomorrow-UGH cause I'm going out, FOR the day, it's quite an important day out so we'll see how that goes.

(Souldominator12: "mine is an auto sorry")

That's okay Soul. I'm happy to finish on an auto, if it really is an auto! Ehehehehehehehe. I really hope it's an auto because he claimed this was an auto. It's absolutely not an auto, he should have said this was, ugh, the fact that he called it an auto, oh my god it's ANNOYING! I don't usually mind autos at all, why would I? They're autos. But this one has the word "auto" in the name, and it's not an auto, at all! Goodness—ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. UGHHH! Okay, come on. I wanna finish strong here, I wanna finish positive, I really do. Overall, I think it's been an excellent stream, but there have been some reeeal piles of...stuff in the pile today. Started out so well as well, the first hour-uh, hour was brilliant. Loved the first hour. Best levels I've ever played in the first hour. Now I've messed up the holding and clicking thing now, what's that? Keep clicking? I DIE! Hrmmmm.

(Souldominator12: "practice song is clutterfunk right")

Indeed it is, Souldominator, but not only is it Clutterfunk, it's also Clutterfunk Part 2. Hrmmmm. It used to be, uh, Time Machine, for a long time it was Time Machine for 36 streams, 25 streams, I finally changed it, and uh, I was very happy to find that uh, Waterflame had done a lesser known Clutterfunk Part 2, so I mixed Clutterfunk into Clutterpunk, puh, puh, uh, Clutterpunk, into Clutterfunk Part 2. Urghhh. I'm not supposed to keep clicking, I'm supposed to go down there, aren't I? I'm supposed to do that and then hit the green...aren't I? It doesn't feel like I'm supposed to do anything else...(unintelligible) I'm getting (unintelligible) as well. Mmm. The second level of his I'm gonna give a dislike to, this is really bad innit? It's a shame, I, I hate having to dislike people, people's levels, but, I always like to do at least something, whether I like or dislike, it's, I often, put it like.

(Souldominator12: "hitter click")

Yeah I've done that! I tried that! Doesn't work! I've tried it! Like mad! Does not work! I can click like hell with both the keyboard and my mouse and it will not do it! Easily the worst auto I've ever played. Is there anything else I can do here, I don't think there is. Nothing else I can do, I've gotta continue there, so whatever happens I've gotta make it there. Ughh. (unintelligible) Come on! I'm trying to keep (unintelligible) it really doesn't work! Keep clicking every so often but not quite all the time. Still a demon level! That's the worst part about this! This is an auto that's still a demon level! How do you manage that? Ughhh. Why have you called it an auto? This has not frustrated me more than-ugh-there are so many levels that've frustrated me in Geometry Dash over the weeks, but one that's called an auto, that isn't an auto, in ANY way, has frustrated me in-more than any other level I've ever played! I can't believe you've managed this! How have you managed to frustrate me THIS much? Ugh. Ugh. Hrmmmm. Finally. Got to 30%, yay me.

(GDEndrr: "it is possible")

I know it's POSSIBLE! Ugh. No one denied that it's possible, GDEndrr, but you CALLED IT AN AUTO! It's not an auto! Don't call it an auto! Why call it an auto when it's clearly not an auto?! Just because it's a possible demon doesn't make it an auto! Why call it an auto? Ugh. That's all that's frustrated me here, I wouldn't even mind playing this that much if you just claim it's a demon in the first place, but the fact that you called it an auto has made it so immensely frustrating! Just because it has a few auto parts in it doesn't make it entirely an auto! I mean what am I supposed to do here? This is apparently a auto. Ugh. Yeah I've managed to die on that twice, this apparent auto section I managed to die on twice. The worst auto I have ever played, and I've played some really really bad autos, including ones that aren't classified as autos, but this...ugh. Worst auto I've ever played.

(rqbtop: "Hahaha if you want Plss can you play 20298214 is a 3 minutes auto")

Let's see if rqbtop, is right. Is this an example of an auto? Let's hope it is, shall we? Let's hope this is actually an auto. Certainly seems like it so far, thank you rqbtop, for bringing us back to normality. This is an auto, this is a great example of an auto. Ugh. I will be back in a moment.

38 weeks it took. 38 weeks. 38 weeks it took for someone to finally crack me. I mean, electric man came pretty darn close, to breaking me. I've never been...that frustrated on a stream. And I've had some interesting streams. (unintelligible) some incredible streams. Oh.

(GDEndrr: "unique means not like the others")

But Endrr, if you're not really doing anything, that's fine, except you clearly have to! The clicking fast is horrible! I could let go the holding down, holding down's fine! But clicking fast is such an inconsistent function, especially when you're using orbs as well. If you're using orbs and clicking fast, it's so inconsistent that it has to be, foolproof, there in - there has to be no way to possibly even die. And even in the auto section that you CLAIMED was auto, when there was a nine circle section and you were the, the cube, I didn't touch anything, and I STILL flew up into the sky! It's broken in so many ways. I can - as I said, I can forgive a, I can call it an auto, fine, call it an auto if you're just holding down, if you just hold down and there were auto parts, fine, but, spam clicking with orbs is not auto in any way, it's just, not. Fine! Call it unique, you can call it unique as much as you like. But it's not auto! It's not automatic. Auto means automatic! Auto is short for automatic, it doesn't mean literally, y-yeah it d-...it doesn't mean, doing little things doing a little bit here and there, it literally means it's automatic, which means you do literally nothing. Abs-a-salt-ly nothing. Ugh. And with that in mind, let's do Stefan's. I needed food. I needed a long auto. Circles of Hell, maybe this isn't claiming it's an auto, I'm fine, I don't mind demons even, demons can annoy me from time to time, but, man. It's when, ugh, I'm such a literal guy, I'm such a...I take things, pretty on the nose, ahaha, for lack of a better word, and um, when someone claims something is, something it's not, and there's absolutely no ambiguity in what they've claimed, it bugs the hell out of me. Really really does, it really gets me.

(GDEndrr: the deal is i make troll levels and ppl rage over them)

And Endrr, why is that? Why do you want to troll people? Why, do you want, to ruin people's lives? Why does that bring you pleasure, Endrr? Why do you like people raging? Why does it entertain you? Fine. So with that in mind Endrr, just so you know, I am now adding what is known as, the blacklist, of which now you're a proud member, you are not, you are not forbidden from being in my streams, you aren't banned from my streams in any way, but any, any at all, future levels you request, are denied. I am not playing, any, any levels at all, that you request for future, any future streams you can come, you can try, you can try and troll me, as much as you possibly like, I am not playing any level that you ever give me, ever again, on any account that you might have, in any way that you try and hide it, I will find out and I'm not, going to play it. No more requests from you. You are banned from requesting. Simple as that. You are done, with requesting. Completely done, with requesting. Ugh. Never thought I'd - would have to do that, never thought in a million years I would have to actually do that. If either people could just be civil, it'd be nice for people just to be civil and have nice levels. There were so many good levels out there, why waste everyone's time...with terrible terrible levels? I'm not calling this level terrible by the way, I don't know yet, I'm not - I'm honestly not really focusing on what this level is or what's going on in it, it looks kinda cool, there's some cool stuff in it. Looks like it's, basically a copy, I mean I've mentioned this gameplay's overused so I'm guessing this is a copy of other gameplay but then silhouetted but that's fine.

(GDEndrr: "calm down, they are just levels, im not trying to be mean any way")

Hoooo. There's a difference between "they are just levels" and "they are just troll levels." If every level you're requesting is a troll level, what's the point of me playing? Why waste everyone's time? If, if, if, let's say 20 people are watching my stream, if a hundred people are watching, if I get to be popular enough that, which seems unlikely at this stage considering how annoyed I'm getting, but still, if I get popular enough, that, a hundred people are watching my stream, and I'm getting requests every five seconds, LET'S SAY, then I really can't be spending, an hour on a level that you've requested just because you're trolling - to troll me and wasting a hundred people's time. I just can't, I can't afford the time, and I try, I really try to make sure everyone's levels, because I think it's fair to, I really try to make sure that everyone's levels gets a fair play and gets a fair shot, no matter how hard or how difficult they are. But even if they're demon I can handle that, I mean yes it could take a while sometimes and I know that and I know my limits. But it's so much worse, if, if someone claims something is something it's not it's so much worse, it's, a huge breach of trust, in any way, that's just, ugh, I - I inherently like to try to trust people, and it's very hard to earn trust in this world, I like to try to earn trust, I like to try to be able to trust as many people as I can, and so if you're, if, a like, fear earlier, great that fear earlier said about that, it's great that fear said, yes his level's hard, he admitted it's hard when he said it, might be too hard for me, fair enough! And I said at the time, that's fine, thank you, it's it's hard yes, I'll give it a shot, I gave it a shot, it was a good level, liked the level, it was hard, I ended up going into practice mode, that's fair enough! But if you're gonna claim something's an auto level, when you've purposely made it not an auto level.... Just don't do that! Just claim it's a level! Why bother putting the word auto? It would even have been better if you claimed it's auto at the start of the level, and then, put the word "psych" in later on or something, but to have, the word, or the, the word "auto" in the title of the level and then make it not an auto, and not only that, a poorly ma-, a poorly tested auto after you then kept claiming that the auto section that was actually an auto section was auto when it wasn't...ugh. It's just that uh, the, the boundaries of trust here have been breached so many ways, that's why I'm angry, that's why I'm annoyed. And I'm sorry to everyone else watching the stream and if you're now not entertained or not, I don't know if this is more entertaining or not, but, I'm sorry if you're now more annoyed by my ranting over this, cause I've never ranted over something for quite this long, but the fact that someone out there, no matter who it is, is so DISRESPECTFUL and ARROGANT, to want to RUIN everyone else's time and lives. Ugh, I mean I've dealt with Internet trolls before, I've been dealing with Internet trolls for YEARS, and no one, no one at all has annoyed me as much as you have. Hoooo. Ughhhh. So anyway, that's out there. Why? That's the other thing Endrr, I just want to understand why? You haven't answered that either. You said you make troll levels, great, you make troll levels, why? Literally why do you make troll levels? Why do you enjoy seeing other people suffer? Why? Why are you so sadistic? Why are you hellbent in wanting for some reason in later life to go to prison because at some stage you're going to key someone's car or something stupid just to see the reaction on their face? Why, do you want, to troll people? Why, are you attempting, to annoy them? Why does it en, entertain you? Why? That's the other thing I'd really like to understand, why? I'd really like to know, why? Ughhh. Hooo. Sorry rb, rqbtop, thank you, I will put you first for next week, let's do that, while we're at it. Ughh. Next week, yes requests are off rqbtop, I can't really call you robtop, 19340324, thank you! That will be, the first level on next week's stream. But as you can t-, probably tell, I'm gonna need to stop, doing this, very soon because, if another level, comes along, that I don't like, I might just snap! And we don't want that, do we?

(GDEndrr: "i just want some downloads for wmy levels so i can become popular someday and maybe have a featured level if i decide to make a nice level, but until a lot of people know me and all, that's what will happen, all my troll lvls gone and then that us basically the end to my horrible levels.")

So you're saying that the only way you'll stop making horrible levels is if you become popular, however you purposely troll people so that you're not popular, still don't really understand the logic here, I'm afraid. You're not gonna become popular by trolling people. Just because your levels get thousands of plays, doesn't make them good. If you troll people they're not gonna give likes on your levels, and the likes on the levels are going to be quite important, I would imagine. Even if a level has, 20,000 plays, if it trolls everyone you're not gonna get likes for it, and if you're not gonna get likes for it, you're never gonna be able to get a featured level, it's just not gonna happen. You're going so the wrong way about it if you want a featured level. Make a nice level. In fact, start a new account, completely, just start a new account, you're, um, better off at this stage, regardless of my feelings on the matter, if you have entirely made troll levels on this account, make an entirely new account on Geometry Dash, start from scratch, and make a nice level. Then promote that, one single nice level until it's, buried into the ground, just make everyone play it, play that one single nice level, forget making other levels, don't make any other levels, if you really make a nice great level, then hammer it into everyone and (unintelligible) it around, yes maybe you can spam I'm not really advocating spamming but if you just go around to (unintelligible) streams and get people to play it, you really are far more likely in getting popular that way, really, than just trolling people all the time.

I don't understand what to do here, I've lost, I've, I've completely lost what I'm supposed to do at this stage. Like I can see some ways through, I can't see others, can I go up top here somehow, I can't see any way to do this. Maybe I'm just supposed to, am I supposed to go under? I dunno, I dunno. 90% I'm into this, 438 attempts, I haven't paid attention to a single thing that's gone on in this level and finally I can't work out how to finish it, I dunno.

(GDEndrr: "i am not trying to be a bastard, it is just for laughs, but not like mean laughs, i try to be funny, but idk whats the problem")

The problem is you can, it's fine if you make funny levels. Go ahead, make funny levels. Have some laughs. But don't lie! You can have fun and you can even troll people without lying. Trust is the issue here. I've had many people troll me. But most of them, even though they're trolls, they don't lie! I don't know how I can explain it any better. I'm at the edge of my tether here, I really don't know. I...the problem is the lying, the problem is the trust, that's the problem. That's always been my problem, that's always been MY problem in general. I get angry when I feel that someone has betrayed me or just or I've mis, like, just, doesn't matter who it is, when it feels like someone has done me wrong or betrayed me or got me annoyed, I-I can usually just, shrug it off most of the time, but ughh...but when you completely break the barriers of what a level is, I mean there's also a difference between subverting expectations, you're allowed to change the expectations, but you can again do that without directly lying to someone. Ughhh. Yeah people lie, people tell white lies, generally people tell white lies, to spare people's feelings. Yes people lie, and I understand the reasons people lie, but, the reason people lie just for the hell of it and just for the laughs, that I don't understand, and that I don't feel the need for, I completely understand white lies and people do lie, but there is a difference between a white lie and a blatant lie. A white lie, there, also, there's, you can skirt around the truth as well, you can do a lie of omission, that's fine, don't mind lies of omission, they're fine as well, you can interpret certain things in certain ways, but the word "auto" no matter how you look at it, the word "auto" literally means automatic, and that wasn't automatic. You can argue that some parts of it were automatic, but even the parts as I say, once you then, once you then punch me in the face, and I'm down on the ground, over the fact that it's not an auto level, you then have auto sections within the level, that aren't auto sections! I mean, then, you're just kicking me when I'm down. You've just punched me in the face and then you're just kicking me in the stomach until I can't, live, anymore. I mean, what are you trying to do? Why? Why are you trying to ruin lives? I, that is what I don't get. I'm gonna have to give up on this, aren't I? Cause I really have no idea. Stefan, are you still there? Is Stefan still there? Ughh. I'm a person of understanding. I really like to understand, and I genuinely have asked Internet trolls and people in general over the years why they do things, and I like to understand why people do things, and, until I can understand, I stay annoyed, and that's, I realize that's my problem and not yours, but the fact that I can't understand your choice of actions, just means I can't trust you and, as a result of now, irreparably being able to trust you, I literally can never trust you now, regardless of what you do or how you change if you change, you probably won't and that's fair enough if you don't want to change that's fine, that's your prerogative...but, I can't figure out, ugh, I can't figure out your motives, I can't figure out your, re, your reasons, I don't understand the logic in wanting to troll people with levels to become popular, that's a way to become infamous, that's a way to get banned on sight, that's a way to get banned from Geometry Dash, I don't understand, the logic. Pfffft. Hmm. I can.... Okay. Why did that suddenly work? Achoo. Oh dear.

(1234abcdcba4321: "actually it's more like 5 checkpoints")

Thank you 123, 4, appreciate the suggestion. Agh. Probably t-, I would have normally tried that a lot sooner, but as you can tell I'm not really focused on the level in the slightest. I've gone three times through the practice song with this rant, it's a 15 minute rant...longer than that even, must be 16. Cause it loops about, 15, l-l-it-it loops about three...six minutes, that's the word I'm looking for, six. Just under six minutes long, I think. Ughhh. Well, eighteen minutes, there we go. I was right, six, th-, yeah, six minutes in time, fair enough. Okay. Souldominator, well, okay. Rob, just because it's the only one on next week's list, I'm gonna be kind, I'm gonna do rob's now, I'm probably going to regret it, I don't know, we'll see. I'm gonna do that now. "New Redux," fair enough. Is this an auto? I mean if it is auto, doesn't look like it really. Okay, not an auto, fair enough. (beatboxing) Hmm. I'm assuming I'm supposed to avoid those large black orbs, so, we'll see. Nope, not supposed to avoid the large black orbs, at all, rats.  Rats. I can do this, I didn't mean to do that, but oh well. Yeah that's not a slashy, definitely. Shoot. I can do this, this is workable, I keep doing that. I don't mean (unintelligible). See you later 1234.

(GDEndrr: "i don't know everything")

No one's claiming you know everything, you're not, you don't need to, uh, uh, to know everything, that's fine, no one knows everything, not even the smartest person, not even the most knowledgeable person in the world knows everything, they can't. I don't care about winning the conversation! Neither of us care about winning the conversation. Let's just leave it, for now. Another time, can debate it further. Wow I'm terrible at this.

(GDEndrr: "just please end this conversation so i can go back to being hated like i am in the real world seriously")

Yep, that's the motive I'm more familiar with, I'm definitely more familiar with the idea that the reason that people end up trolling and, things online is purely because they're bullied and I was bullied a lot as a child but the Internet was less of a thing when I was a child, I mean yeah it was still a thing but, the Internet's more of an escape and now it's a lot easier to just communicate with people in general so it's a lot easier to also troll people, and yes that is the more common motive that, people are bullied in, life and in school and as a result of being bullied in life and in school they have no way of bullying anyone else so in order to get away from that they end up bullying people online because they feel it's more anonymous and that they can't, they don't have ramekin, ramifications for their actions. How in the world am I supposed to get through that? So, ugh, I do hope that you stop getting bullied at some point, uh, most of the best advice I can give about the bullying, which I really can't, I mean I was, bullied a lot, um, the best advice, people say, people suggest to avoid bullying, to just "ignore it," and that's not possible. The reason people say that you should ignore bullying, is because, the bullies are looking for a reaction. That is a, a good example of, is, exactly the same as trolling, trolling is, however one looks at it, trolling is, um, the act of uh, bullying, just online. Um, so, with the bullying, the answer is not to ignore them, generally the answer is to laugh along with the joke. Just, honestly, if they start bulling you and verbally, primarily bully-uh-fer-ver-verbally, not, not physically, but yeah, ver-for verbal bullying, you've got to try and see it from their point of view, you've got to try and work out, why they're, choosing to, bully, and even if you don't, can't work that out, just pretend you get the joke, just pretend you understand why, and if you do, and just laugh along with everything that they suggest, then you can't react poorly, and if you don't react poorly, you don't get bullied anymore, because you don't get the, they, the bullies aren't getting the reactions they were looking for, so, ugh, it took me to year 11 in this country, that was when I was 15, to work that out, and I had to work it out on my own after going to various behavioral therapists, and a psychiatrist, and none of them helped, honestly! Maybe the behavioral therapist did a little, but not really, none of them helped, I had to work it all out on my own, cause they kept on saying "ignore it," and "ignore it" wasn't enough information, it just wasn't the information I needed, "ignore it" did not give me the information I needed and I need clarification on so many things, I really like clarification, I really like understanding, and now I'm closing in on 30 years old and I still am exactly the same, I really need to understand and I try desperately to understand, and when I don't understand that's when I get annoyed. Ugh. So the best advice I can give you, is if you are bullied, try to see it, I know it's hard, very hard, at the time of being bullied to see it from the bully's point of view, but if you can, then you can usually start laughing along with it, and honestly, you might even become friends, as I did with one person who bullied me, and I, there were, there were a lot more than one person that bullied me, and there was one person that I would, I'm pretty annoyed at, to be honest, and I still remember, I probably will for the rest of my life, um, I mean I've remembered him for, 15 years, but anyway, um, yeah there's one person who actually became a friend of mine, who used to bully me, and it is possible for bullies to become friends, if you can understand things from their point of view, but the problem here, and the reason why - another reason why I got annoyed here, is that I couldn't understand it from your point of view. I understand it a little more now, and it's nice to understand it a little more, but it's hard, and I know it's hard.