Thread 64: Stories 31-45

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>Jetset
“???”
____

In typical secret agent fashion, he appeared.

Without a preemptive sound, warning, or call, he was there, flicking into view.

And the view he flickered into was one that caused the agent’s face to flare red and his eyes to bug.

“That’s you, Jetset… isn’t it? Boy, how many times have I had to tell you not to use your freakish ability to flicker into others homes without warning? It too often leads to situations that could be considered… unprofessional.

A very wet, very de-dressed Harshwhinny glanced over her shoulder, her eyes playfully narrowed at the stallion who had just appeared in her bathroom. He was stunned speechless, as he normally was in these situations, and she would never cease to find it utterly adorable.

Oh, the tracks she’d left up and down his spine.

Rather than rise, and subsequently knock the strapping lad into a coma, Harshwhinny sank further into the tub, until only her head was above water. Her head and her tail, which she twitched about in a tease.

“But, now that you’re here, you might as well speak, boy. What in the world would give you the sudden, ah… urge… to visit your mentor unannounced? In her bathroom? While she’s indecent?”

It was simply precious when Jetset whirled about on his hooves and made a show of fixing his shades before answering.

>I… I wasn’t thinking. I was in a hurry and just made the jump without any thought in mind except your image.

“Hmhmhm, well, it’s nice to see you’re no longer getting yourself fused into walls, or imbedded in boulders.”

Jetset flinched.

Faust above those times had been incredibly painful....

>You should know that he made an appearance, ma’am.

The change was almost instantaneous. All traces of a leopardess who’d found a ball of yarn to bat around was wiped from Harshwhinny’s face.

She now looked every bit the mare who had taken a foul-mouthed, hardheaded Jetset and turned him into Celestia’s premiere aid.

“He? The former? …The blank slate?”

>The very same.

In the same moment that Harshwhinny stood, Jetset spun back around to face her, watching in silence as she toweled off.

A moment later, she flung the cloth in his direction and he magically caught it mid-air, folding and placing it back on the rack.

“Did you win?”

That question, that came as she passed him by on her way out of the bathroom, caught the agent by surprise.

>Did…? In a manner of speaking, yes. I was busy at the time handling Zero-Zero-Seven… but yes, I won. I got the last hit at any rate.

“Then that’s all that matters.”

>…Is it?

“Whatever that unprofessional rogue does in his spare time is none of my concern, nor should it be yours. What should be, however, is that you imprint the grooves of your hooves into his skull every time he deems it necessary to show himself in your sight.”

He inclined his head.

>Ma’am.

“Now, run along back to Princess Celestia. You still have a bet going on, don’t you?”

>I do.

“And you don't want this Changeling fellow usurping such a glorious notch in your belt, right?”

>I don’t.

“Then away with you, boy. Overstaying ones time is most unprofessional.”

He was gone.

“Hm, forty-nine seconds to conquer his weakness this time, and he didn’t even pass out. Well… that’s no fun. At this rate, teasing him won’t have any effect at all….

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Fancy Pants"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and I sneak my show in! Now for our main guest...FANCY PANTS!!!

"Salutations."

>Now what's it like to be living in a city with Chitania? Are you worried that she'd go off any moment?

"Oh it's-"

>Wooooo Fancy Pants everypony! It was fun to have you here! You're one crazy pony!

"Well I hope you take care."

>You won't believe who's in your bedroom.
Fancy wakes up to Chitania in his room.

'...I can't find the library's water fountain.'

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NC
>56
"SS"

>Hey there bacon butt (lol) I wanna touch your ass

"No, fuck off"

>But I wannaaaaaa

"I said fuck off"

>BUT ASSES ARE ALL I AM

"Holy shit, consider suicide then you freak"

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>41
"Punch"

>...

"..."

>...

"...So...uh..."

>She's got to be making some kind of horrible death trap for me or something.

"Really?"

>Yeah.

"Like that Franz Coltka story we read instead of the sci-fi novel?"

>Exactly like the Franz Coltka story!

"Daaaamn..."

>...I hope it's good, my butt's getting tired from sitting and waiting so much.

"Also there's a bird nesting on your head."

>Also there is a bird nesting on my head.

'Caw'

>YOU STAY OUTTA THIS!

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>88
"???"
~~~~

>OH THANK GOODNESS I'VE BEEN LOST FOR SO LONG I NEED... DAMN IT!

The minute her hooves touched the cool surface, she knew she had failed again. Another statue.

>DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT! USELESS ASS SCREECHY POWERS!

The sonic screech let her see what something LOOKED like for half a second, but it did not tell her if that thing was alive, or even moving at all. Yet again, she found herself at a loss.

>This is so stupid! I just wish I could SEE and just... just look around! I can't... I can't...

Bluntly put, no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't SEE. She couldn't tell who was alive, who was a statue, and if they weren't just fucking around with her and one was pretending to be the other.

And she was running out of food.

She hadn't fed particularly much as it was, and this constant running was doing nothing for her body. She was running herself ragged here, and running low on fuel. Really, she felt like she was running low on... everything.

Even just the desire to keep going on.

But the time for lying down and letting the end overtake her had long since past. Now was the time to stand up and find that love!

...Find that love...

>Hrm...

It was a longshot, she realized. Her powers, the very same one in every infiltrator, were not meant to be used this way. They relied on sight, normally, just as much as the magic in her. But perhaps...

She focused, she focused like she had never focused before. Calm, cool and collected like a str-... like a ri-... like a bucket. She was going to say like a bucket.

...There.

A tingle, a spark, a light.

A tiny, tiny light in the distance.

A tiny little glow of warmth.

…..Love.....

She could see the... love...

Even though walls, which she found when she rammed headfirst into said structure, even though space so far, she could see it. She could FEEL it. The love.. she could find it.

And it was with no shortage of pride that she opened the door to it like the door to heaven itself and-

“AHHHH! WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM!? I'M INDECENT!”

>...Are you? Uh... s-sorry to bother you, but this... this thing on my face isn't just for no reason. It's because I'm blind... and lost. Can you help me?

“...Oh! Oh, uh... just... just get you to a guard?”

>I've been wandering around for hours now, I'll take literally anyone. Please help me.

“Oh, sure. Come on, I'll help you...”

>...Don't you need to become 'decent', whatever that is?

“Oh, no, no no, it's fine.”

>...What's that smell?

“Don't ask about it.”

>It smells like leather and some kind of massage oil.

“DON'T ASK ABOUT IT!”

'OOF!'

>Who was that!?

“Do you want my help or not!?”

>SHUTTING UP! PLEASE HELP BLINDBUG!

“Good!.......Whelp, since that cat's out of the bag, sorry honey, you can probably get out of that suit and back into your guard uniform. This is probably going to eat up my whole lunch period.”

'THE ONE TIME YOU GET AWAY FROM THOSE FUCKING BOOKS AND THAT FUCKING GIANT BUG MONSTER! The one time I'm not on patrol! THE ONE TIME!... UGH! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO PULL THIS OFF WITH A KID IN THE HOUSE!?'

>I'm sorry! I CAN'T SEE!

“Everyone stop yelling!”

'…'

>...Sooo-

“Let's just go!”

'...Friggen bug monster...'

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Non-canon
>Actarius
"JJ"
~~~~
Guy Love parody:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL4L4Uv5rf0

>Let's face the facts about me and you, our love unspecified
>Though I'm proud to call you "chocolate bug"
>The crowd will always talk and stare.

"I feel exactly those feelings too
And that's why I keep them inside
'cause this bug, can't bare the world disdain
And sometimes is easier to hide."

>"Than explain our guy love, that's all it is"
>"Guy love he's mine I'm his"
>"There's nothing gay about it in our eyes."

"You ask me 'bout this thing we share..."

>...and he tenderly replies.

"It's guy love..."

>"...between two guys."

"We're closer than the average stallion and wife."

>That's why our matching bracelets say Actarius and JJ

"You know I'll stick by you for the rest of my life..."

>You're the only guy who's ever let me touch his balls!

"Whoa whoa! He's talking about my juggle balls."

>There's no need, to clarify...

"Oh no?"

>Just let it grow more and more each day.
>It's like I've married my best friend...

"But in a totally macho way!"

>"Let's go!"
>"It's guy love, don't compromise,"
>"The feeling of some other guy."
>"Holding up your heart into the sky."

>I'll be there to care through all the lows.

"I'll be there to share the highs."

>"It's guy love, between two guys."

>And when I say, 'I love you, JJ,',
>It's not what it implies~

>"It's guy love"
>"Between..."
>"Two..."
>"Guys~~"

JJ goes for a hoofshake.
>No hooves.
The two hug.

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>YOU WRECK THE CITY, DIAMOND TIARA!

"My daddy will cover it!"

>You're a renegade! I'm taking you of the case!

"You want my badge and gun? Is that it?... FUCK YOU THEY'RE MINE!"

>...Wait, no, you're supposed to-

"PRY THEM FROM MY COLD DEAD HOOVES MY DADDY WILL SUE YOU!"

>...I am three seconds from punching a grade schooler.

"MINE!"

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"LET'S RIDE!"

>DT tries to hop into her suped up muscle car

"...I can't reach the pedals..."

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"YOU'RE GOING DOWN CREEP!"

'...'

"...Lean down! I can't... I can't reach you to put the cuffs on."

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"Silver Spoon! I've found where the drugs are headed, we're going to have to stake out the docks tonight!"

'But we have a report due in the morning.'

"BUCK THE REPORT! We're cleaning up this city!"

'...By that you mean 'someone else is cleaning up this city, after you destroy half of it'.'

"I get results!"

'If by 'results' you mean 'shards of concrete in our lungs' than yeah, I guess a doctor would consider results somewhere in that equation.'

"Lets go!"

'So we just calling a cab, or...'

"No... we're gonna ride!"

*CHIC-CHICK!*

'...So then what're we going to stake out in?'

"......hrm....."

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>Spike tosses her a gun

"DT! Use this!"

>It just bounces off her.

>She looks down at her hooves.

'...HOW!?'

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>I'm assigning you a partner.

"No way, I work solo."

>Meet Spike the Dragon.

'We're going to do this by the book.'

"What is this!?!"

>He came highly recommended by the princesses themselves

"Oh great, a golden boy. I bet you knock first before you break down the doors."

'I heard destroyed the house.'

"Why should I even remotely agree to this."

>He writes good reports.

"Welcome aboard."

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 >Spitfire
"Pegasi"
~~~~

>...And what formation is that supposed to be!?

"We call it the Twine!"

>...

"...b-because we look like a twine ball."

>...You just crashed into each other and got tangled up, didn't you?

"...Please help."

>No.

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~~~~~

“Thank ya'll for commin' here. Sorry iffin' it's a little cramped.”

That was, to put it mildly, a fairly strong understatement.

“Uh, Princess Celestia? You're kind of pressing against me.”

“Sorry Fluttershy! This thing has a mind of it's own!”

“Can I just say this was a dumb idea?”

“Yeah, Dashie, you can!”

“...”

“Well?”

“Spike, please stop poking me with your tail.”

“Sorry Rarity!”

“...Or at least go higher.”

“RARITY! Yer' freakin' out Sunset!”

“The fact it's not freaking out you worries me.”

“WE WERE BUSY, THANK THEE! MAKE THIS QUICK!”

“Ear! Oh dear Celestia my ears!”

“Stop using my name like that! It's weird!”

Applejack, Twilight, Pinkie, Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Spike, Celestia, Luna, and even Sunset all found themselves mooshed together in a room that should have fit ten ponies quite comfortably, but due to the increased... 'size' of several of the occupants, they found themselves standing a bit closer to comfort than they would have wanted. To the point where if Fluttershy accidentally became a cactus they would be pulling parts of her out of no less than five of them.

But they put up with it, as the larger dining room they would normally use was not soundproof, and the ballroom they might've in the past used in a pinch was currently hosting the worlds most intense poker match in recorded history. For as it turns out, when there's only twenty bits total dispersed among eleven changeling, every match is a nail biter.

As such, they were just going to have to accept that if Pinkie got into the spicy food, they were just going to have to resign their fate and pray for death.

“Ah' think it's high time we all got ta'gether and finally talked 'bout this guard situation.”

They shared an uncomfortable look. The kind that said “I know this house is currently burning down, but I am also covered in gasoline and do not want to get near it.”

“With the situation sprialin' outta control and the threat of a new attack hoverin' over our head at any minute, we need a way ta' get some dang order back in our hooves and it ain't relyin' on a bunch'a snobs with some overpriced toys that shoot up the place. Now, recently, a certain offer was made ta' me. Two offers, in fact. Some o' you might'a noticed the robot outside-”

“Yes yes yes, Fawntaine is trying to take over the guard, we know, do continue on Applejack.”

How Celestia knew, Applejack dared not even question.

“Right... well, on that note, another certain offer was made ta' me from someone ya'll know pretty well at this point. Chrysalis offered ta' help refill the guard ranks... with changelings.”

“...And you laughed in her face, right darling?”

“Whoa, what!? That sounds like a great idea!”

“Wait, really Dash? I thought you'd be all for the robots.”

“No freaking way! I don't trust anything you can program to fly faster than me. Just seems like we'd get all reliant on how awesome they are and forget how awesome we are. But changelings are like, natural! All natural! And they're laser spitting armored nightmares! That's awesome!”

“Hey! Robots are awesome too! You can be all “I'm detecting you are feeling unhappy, balloon deploying!” and they'd never forget a birthday or anniversary!... And at least you don't have to worry about them taking money out of the register. What's a robot going to spend it on, oil?”

“Seriously, Pinkie?”

“I just think they're cool...”

“I do believe I find myself with Pinkie as well. The important thing to remember is that robots are crisp, clean, and can take orders and accomplish tasks with perfect precision. Changelings can barely stop themselves from setting things on fire.”

“Hey! They haven't done anything like that in months! It was mostly what's his face anyway... and he's gone.”

“...See, Spike, this is why everyone calls you confusing.”

“Just because I don't like A changeling Queen bitch doesn't mean I don't understand that not all of them are psychopaths. Forty Two and Seventy Seven kick ass.”

“I agree with the robots! With machines become more wide spread, it only makes sense that we stay ahead of the technological curve and have the very best at our command. I know that might not mean much coming from me since I literally just got here a week ago, but from what I've seen in the human world those that don't stay at the front of the line get pushed aside very quickly, and none of us want that.”

“WE TOO WOULD LIKE TO INTERJECT THAT THE MACHINES ARE QUITE IMPRESSIVE!”

“Seriously, Luna!?”

“What!? Doth thou think we so old fashioned we cannot see the benefit of one who would follow our orders without question? That we were unfamiliar with the concept of golems, or have not used them in our employ before? Be they of metal skin, rock or flesh makes no difference to us, so long as our soldiers follow our command, we shall accept them.”

Up till now, the completely silent purple science wizard of the group had been content to lean back, and just listen.

But no more.

“That's actually a good point, but not in their favor. The machines seem nice because they only follow orders and wouldn't discriminate... but they only follow orders, that's it. If we put in 'protect so and so', they will ignore anyone else in the vicinity simply because they're programmed to do one thing at a time, and too many processes would prevent them from working correctly. If a new species pops up and is in trouble, they won't respond to it because they can't tell it IS a new species, because it wasn't programmed in. We're going to be constantly paying for upgrades and patches to faulty systems, and even one of those going wrong could be catastrophic. They'll be a lot more expensive in the long run, and can cause escalation.”

“Yes, but for a short area like Canterlot they are simply ideal.”

“So long as everyone doesn't confuse it with a new kind of lawbreaking it can't comprehend, which would just be really hard for a bunch of bright, intelligent unicorns, right? We're putting a lot of faith in some very untested machines, which is why... I'm throwing my hat in, and saying that changelings are the better choice here.”

“How utterly unsurprising.”

“HEY!”

“She's got a point, Twi.”

“We doth not need to have thine own backup, pink one.”

“...See if I throw you a party next time your birthday comes around.”

“WE HATE OUR BIRTHDAY! IT MAKES US FEEL OLD!”

“Duh, that's why you have a party! So you feel happy instead of old! You're gonna feel old anyway, time is time after all, but the party just means you're happy and not thinking about it!”

“...Thine logic is frighteningly well argued...”

“THAT ASIDE! Well, I mean, yeah! I'm on their side! Look, they've been locked up in that ballroom for... ever! They've been doing nothing but sitting around and waiting, all while praying that eventually a means to get out was going to come along. Well, it has. We finally have a chance to actually integrate them into our society, we finally have a chance to make them a part of Equestria.”

“Yeah, but at a cost. See, she didn't jus' say she was gonna let 'em work fer' us, she wanted ta' head the thing and pick her own captain of the guard fer' the position and everythin'.”

She said it as if it were supposed to be some sort of dark, shocking reveal.

From the look on Twilight's face, she might as well have said “An' they wanna be changelings while doin' it!”

“...And?”

“And!? That means we would be putting our armed forces in the hooves of CHRYSALIS.”

“Okaaaay?”

“Do ya' really not see the problem here!?”

“I don't. What, exactly, is she going to do that you all are worried about?”

Rarity shot up, joining both Spike and Applejack in looking onto her in sheer gall.

“Darling, are you daft!? She could use this as a means to manipulate everything to her advantage! She could at last be in a prime position to take over Equestria!”

One by one, the others began to rise.

“Twilight, are you crazy kookers lonky bonky insane!? She could completely use it to do whatever she wants! Ignore it when changelings do bad stuff, come down extra hard when someone's being mean to them, lotsa stuff!”

“AND WE DARE NOT EVEN CONSIDER WHAT SHE MIGHT DO WITH THE AUTHORITY TO MAKE ARRESTS!”

“Frankly, why don't you just hand the entire city over on a silver platter to them? It would save some time.”

“...Yeahhhh, I'm starting to see their point. Chrysalis with a whole bunch of power like that, picking out exactly who she wants to be in command of everything, most of them following her command but not ours... yeah, kind of creepy to think about.”

“Not saying I don't trust Forty Two and them, but come on! Loyalty to her means that at some point, if it comes down to us or her, we lose!”

Twilight went silent under the gaze of Applejack, Spike, Rarity, Luna, Dash, Pinkie and Sunset. There was something crushing about it, something just unnatural about all of them looking at her like that.

“...Really?”

Her voice was barely above a whisper when she spoke. Barely any volume to it at all.

“After... after all we've been through, everything that's happened together with her, all of that... you guys still think she's going to backstab us? Still think she's just going to... to turn on us at any second? Take us over? Enslave us all the minute she gets the chance?”

“She ain't exactly proven us wrong.”

“Buffalo shit she hasn't!”

Gone was the whisper voice, gone away and replaced with a loud shout that held no anger, only desperation.

“She's stepped up and helped save us every time! She's saved this place, she's saved Fluttershy's sanity, she's saved the Empire, and she even saved my brother's life! She's done plenty for us! But you all just keep treating her like she's the same sneaky bug monster who wrecked the wedding, when even Cadence, the pony who's wedding she wrecked, doesn't even consider her the same! How is it that she can move on and be comfortable sleeping next to her and eating breakfast with her, but you all keep acting like she's just one bad day away from cackling like an evil villain and trying to conquer the world!”

“She's given us plenty o' reason to!”

“How has she done anything like that!? What has she possibly done in... forever that would make you think that!? We know what happened back then, but is it really that hard to believe that's in the past? Is it really that impossible to think that maybe, just maybe, she just wants to finally help her subjects find a way to be accepted? What... what has she done?”

Stern, unblinking eyes turned to the purple alicorn, harsh ones surrounded by narrowing orange coloring and a fiery gaze.

“Well, fer' starters, how 'bout them little extra bits it turns out she's been slippin' in mah' laws?”

She recoiled, flinching as if struck. The room took this to mean she might back down, might give up when faced with such a undeniable fact like this. Everyone assumed this meant she was done.

So when she continued, sounding if anything embarrassed, they didn't know what to think.

“Applejack... you know you're my friend, right? And... and I'm always going to pick you first over her and trust you first, that's just how it is. I don't want you to think I'm taking her side-”

“Out with it Twi.”

“-and this isn't because I'm calling you out for doing a good job or trying to get down on you-”

“Ah' said just say it.”

“-and I'm sure you've done a lot to help them and all-”

“TWILIGHT!”

The slam of her hooves on the desk might as well have been a fart of a mouse for all the volume it held next to her shout.

“...Why did she have to?”

Locked, rigid forelegs bent slightly as the sternness gave way to a questioning gaze. Utterly lost, was the only way to describe her.

“Why... why'd she have to slip that stuff in? You read it, right? It's not some law that says we have to donate so and so money to changelings, it's not some law that says you'll be punished for not donating, it's not something that will break our laws... it's not even something that applies to her and her alone, it works just as well for a buffalo as it does a changeling. So... why did she have to sneak around you? Why did she have to work like she was slipping in a bill that would bring Equestria to it's knees just to get some fair representation in... for stars sake, Applejack, just for some fairness in charity drives? Just... just so that she didn't have to deal with ponies who will treat her subjects badly for no reason besides they are who they are? Why?”

It was amazing how little force there was behind her voice. Nothing more than questions, that's all it was. Questions.

“And she's not using it to forge some giant mind control ray, or evil lair. She's just... it's just blankets, and soap, and tooth brushes, and... just basic stuff. She just wanted the option to give her subjects something to sleep on besides the ground, and despite all the changes you've made, never once did it even occur to you?”

A bit of fire, at last, returned to her as a lavender hoof pointed right at the wide eyed, shocked mare.

“You know who gave them it the first time? It was Shiny. It was my brother, someone a continent away, who I don't need to remind you all just what she did to him, who provided for them. They've lived here for months, and you never even saw fit to make sure they had bars of soap? But he did. He did it, and then it all got lost...”

This part, before she could even bring herself to say it, everyone could see hurt her. It hurt like trying to upchuck glass and poison, it was as plain as day. But just as those things needed to be expelled to save the body, she could not hold it in.

“...It all got lost because you didn't trust her, and it got burned up. It was your fault it was destroyed.”

Immediately, as if she had said the foulest word on record in the presence of her grandmother, she threw up her hooves.

“I don't mean you didn't do the right thing trying to protect them! Y-you were just looking out for them, and going off the information you had! I'm glad you tried, really! I'm sure even Chrysalis is happy you tried to protect them, I'm sure of it, and I don't want you to ever think you shouldn't so please don't think of it like that, but...”

No amount of the regret on her face could stop her as she sighed, and looked her in the eyes once more.

“...but it was still your fault, it was still a mistake, and it was all because you didn't think she would protect them, or that she didn't have a plan in place to keep them from being attacked. I'm not saying you were wrong to do it, you weren't. But afterwards... we shouldn't be almost a month after the attack, and still nothing. We have funds, the rest of the city is rebuilt, even the castle is all repaired now. They shouldn't still have been waiting for you to replace the stuff Spike set fire to. They shouldn't have had to go out and trick ponies just so that they treated them fairly long enough to replace what they lost. She's doing some really underhoofed things... but you're not really giving her a choice. You were the one who insisted on handling everything for them. You were the one who said “It's my fault they're here, I'm handling everything concerning them.” Well, you haven't really handled much. Maybe, this way, we can finally just... be open with each other? Maybe we can finally work together on this?”

The orange alicorn's hat covered her face when she tilted down, her body shaking just a bit at the harsh, somewhat unforgiving no matter how caringly delivered, words.

“Maybe we can finally make Canterlot... not afraid of them. They won't like it, of course they won't, but... maybe we should just give her a chance? Just to finally prove herself? It's a shot, Applejack, one we might need to give... just in the hope that it'll work. It can't be any worse than what's happened up till now.”

Regret washed over Twilight as she watched her, her own words turning bitter in her mouth. She knew her friend would never allow others to suffer for one single being, not willingly no matter how much she didn't like that one... but she couldn't stop herself. She had needed, at her core, to say these things.

“...Twilight, ya'll said Ah'm yer' friend, right? That you'll trust me first, and that's that, right?”

“Of course I will. You're still my best friend, Applejack, all of you are. I know you guys think I'm taking her side a lot, but I'm always friends with you all first, and I always will be. I have grown to trust her, especially after all she did recently, but she's never going to replace any of you...”

The heartwarming words were nothing to the coldness that came next.

“...Then listen here...”

Her stetson tilted back, revealing cold, almost icy and frozen pupils beneath.

“Ah' don't trust Chrysalis, and Ah' don't think she'd be good ta' be in charge of our army. Ah' think she'll use it fer' her own goals first and everyone second, and we'll all be a ton worse off at the end than we were at the start. Ah' don't trust her, and Ah' don't want her ta' have that much power. Ah' know it might help the changelings, but that ain't enough ta' justify givin' her anythin' else. It ain't worth the risk.”

Defeat.

That was it, as soundly as a final strike across the face in a boxing match, as powerfully as a tank round to the chest of a single solider, as definitive as a bomb going off right underneath the last stallion standing, defeat had been handed out. There was no victory to be had from Twilight's side, no more. The stricken look on her face told it all, but Applejack remained firm and waiting until the end was reached.

In that defeat, she nodded, and sat back down.

“All... alright, Applejack. If you truly don't trust her or think she deserves the shot... well, I can't argue. You're supposed to be the one in charge of looking after them and their stance in Equestria, after all. You're the one who brought them here. You... you deserve a say in this. And if you say no... then it wouldn't work anyway. You would have to trust her for it to work, and if you're not willing... then it's not worth it.”

Spike had never been more conflicted in his life as he watched her take a seat. On the one claw, this is exactly what he had wanted. Chrysalis was stopped, and he need not fear her gaining more power and taking things to the next stage of whatever her stupid plan that would fail was.

On the other... there was no denying how much it made him hurt to see her like that, shoulders slumped and head tilted down ever so slightly in defeat. It hurt worse than any blow or shot from a gun could ever give him.

Silently, he just had to assure himself it was for the best.

“Anyone else fer' the changelings?”

As one, everyone turned to two members of the table. The only other two left who would have a defense for them.

Celestia, in a rare show of almost lackadaisical serenity, just slowly waved her hoof in dismissal.

“Oh no no, don't look to me. It was my fault this all ended up in such dire straits as it is, and I fear all I can provide is what not to do in this situation. Really, my methodology has never been particularly effective at war. I'm all for redemption and keeping my ponies safe, but both changeling and machine offer this, just in different ways. No matter what the path, so long as my subjects are safe and protected, I support it.”

With that out of the way, all that was left was the tiny yellow bundle beside her. The demure yet indistinguishable mane of pink hair that usually covered her face.

A face that normally was meek, and timid, and uncomplicated in any way save for that she did not want to be there... But that was not the face she wore now. The one she wore now had no single word to describe it. No more than one could describe a bundle of twine made up of a hundred different threads of yarn made of everything from silk to cotton as a single texture. Nobody quite knew what that look meant, like trying to figure out a magic eye puzzle where if you looked at it one way, it was a vase, but if you looked at it the other it was two faces looking at each other.

“...I'm not even a princess.”

That was it. All she said one way or another in a neutral, robotic tone. Nothing more, nothing less. That simple answer and done.

“Well, alright then, iffin' we don't have any more arguments, then Ah' guess we'll just have ta' go with the robots ta' replace the guard-”

“WAIT, WHAT!?”

The room froze, jerking over in a synchronized fashion towards the one who had appeared as if by magic in the now opened door. So focused on each other, they hadn't even heard a sound.

“What is this what!?”

“...funny, Ah' remember sayin' not ta' let anyone disturb us!”

A meek, shifty-eyed head poked around the side, looking quite peckish and unsure.

“Uh, figured since it was about the guard situation, he was probably... relevant?”

“How so?”

“...Well, I mean, I wasn't there, but he is the guy we elected for the new captain-”

“I'm the WHAT!?”

“...Did nobody tell you that?”

“NO!”

“Oh... congrats, buddy.”

“But... but I've only been back a week! I haven't even actually done a patrol yet! I haven't done jack shit!”

“Well, we were all really impressed you fought that monster?”

“I GOT EATEN!”

“Could've gone worse.”

“HOW!?”

“S'cuse me.”

Her words were polite, her tone was anything but.

“Iffin' ya' don't mind, we've got a meetin' goin' on. Ta' be frank, this is jus' makin' the choice easier.”

Like a cornered rabbit, Pommel's eyes began to dart left and right. This was a lot of information to process in a very little amount of time, and he was already strung out and ready to snap as it was. His anger at the absence of the guard compounded by the crushing feeling he had just been chosen to somehow lead them was just shoving him further and further into that burrow, and the dread he felt as the metaphorical fox clawed it's way in only heightened as he looked upon their irritated, or in some cases just annoyed stares.

So, what would a cornered rabbit do in this case?

Fight back against the fox.

...He was going to try to ignore how that would probably go.

“Well... I was elected, right?”

Her eye brow ever so slightly rose up, annoyance only growing.

“Yep. By a bunch'a lazy, whiny little sods who don't want a real leader, and just want someone so weak willed he won't argue when a dang bug monster tells him ta' charge inta' a giant monsters mouth. Someone who'll let 'em keep bein' the sorry lot they've been so far. Yeah, ya'll were elected, and that's why we're gonna maybe go another route with the robots.”

“But... but that's the worst idea ever! None of you want to try with the real guards? Not a one? Nobody is on our side here?”

And indeed, not a one of them looked to be. Still quite irritated from her talk with Twilight, she had to take ever calming breaths before she could respond. Perhaps it was good that she never got the chance.

“Now now, he's right. He was, in whatever sham of an election it was, elected. We should, at the very least, hear his plea before we finish and make our final decision. I suppose we owe him that much after he very nearly lost his life trying to defend our country, do we not?”

He looked as if he had just been tossed a life-saver in the middle of the ocean following Celestia's words. Despite this, she seemed to be the only one who was willing to do so, everyone else was content to watch him drown.

“Sister, to be frank with thee, at this point we would rather take the changelings, and our joining in shooting that one down should speak volumes of what we think of that.”

“I've been gone for who knows how long, and I can tell you they were never useful, not once. They've been crap since before I left, and they never got any better.”

“Yeaaah, think I noticed that when someone called me to try to save the world while they did diddly. Me! Pinkie Pie! I'm ME and you guys said 'well she's better than the soldiers!' and that's when there was a lot of them!”

“I've also noticed a rather startling trend of... ineffectiveness. Really, I do not care how dapper their armor is, they've just been simply worthless!”

“Yeah, there's a reason when I was looking for gun club members, I never went to the guard. Robots are just better.”

“Stronger, safer and more loyal.”

With every denial, his heart shrank, it shriveled in his chest like they were sucking the very lifeblood from his neck as they spoke. It came down on him hard that now, right now, was his last chance. If he didn't win right now, the Equestrian Guard was done. Finished.

It was now or never.


“... now, listen, I know we're not in the best of shape and all but... but robots? Machines? Unfeeling, unsympathetic golems of metal and wires?”

He looked to them, every one of them, and his voice began to rise.

“A machine has no heart, no soul. It has no brain, or free will, or anything that makes us... us. They have metal skin, but they don't understand what it's like to have that metal skin torn, they have eyes that can scan your body to tell when you're feeling angry, but they can't understand what it was like to BE angry. They've never been having a bad day and just screamed because they can, they've never lost a father in a bad accident and wanted revenge, they've never stubbed their hoof and accidentally knocked over a bunch of stuff without meaning to, and gotten so spooked you run. They've never done any of that... they won't see ponies who made a mistake, just criminals and not criminals. Black or white, right or wrong, no inbetween.”

He took a deep breath, trying to collect himself while he gathered his thoughts.

“...I would have preferred if you guys were at least trying to replace us with changelings, that would have made sense, but robots?”

“We talked 'bout that. Figured we didn't want ta' put someone in charge'a the safety of our folks iffin' we can't trust 'em.”

“And you can trust them!?”

He stomped outside, returning shortly with Primrose, who remained stationary in sleep mode, in tow.

“You can trust this? This robot? Look at this! It says Coltsly on it, but the manufacturer for this stuff is Fawntaine Industries! I checked when I first got here! This is made by the same ponies who sold Blueblood metal in droves!”

“That was Fawntaine, not-”

“So what!? What do you all know about this... “Pennydrop” lady? Have any of you met her? Spoken with her? I bet you met whoever sold you this... thing! But did you meet the mare behind it all? The one at the very top of it? You can trust HER!?”

Luna, strangely, was the one to stand up.

“She is but a businessmare, who cares only for her profits, not conquest. If her profits will be increased by catering to our whims of a more safe Equestria, she will do it. She will not risk her company facing us in such a manner as to turn the robots against us.”

Applejack, likewise, joined in.

“Don't wanna say it, but she did work ta' get where she got, it wasn't just handed to her. And she did help protect Fillydelphia back when Chitania struck. She's been makin' weapons, yeah, but she's been puttin' 'em ta' use ta' protect Equestria when the time arose, and it's pretty obvious iffin' she wants more money she'll have ta' play by what we want”

“Okay, you know what? Let's pretend for a moment that she was some kind of guardian saint for all of Equestria. Let's pretend that she would never ever use it to arrest business opponents, or shut down rival corporations, or look the other way for her own misdoings on her company, let's pretend that we absolutely trust this mare not to use our entire guard force to make more money when, in fact, all of your arguments for her are 'she just wants to make money', let's pretend that”

They all shared a look, a sense of unease washing over all of them.

He spun it around, pointing to the maintenance hatch that they had been kind enough to leave unlocked so Twilight could 'examine' the thing more throughly.

“You can literally pop off this hood and make it do anything if you know how! The signal going out to all of them could be hijacked by a strong enough magic! No amount of failsafes can protect you if you drag one into a corner, rip out its CPU and put in a new one that acts mostly the same, but suddenly doesn't see certain crimes going off!”

“Ta' be fair, everyone else can do that with mind control too.”

“Yes, but as Princess Twilight clearly established, we at the very least can tell when someone isn't acting right! There are cues for those close to them to pick up on! Robots? They don't have personality, quirks or anything like that! A guard can notice if his buddy is suddenly really shifty, a robot just goes “Well you are in fact a robot! Bleep bloop nothing wrong here!” And the worst part is, this HAS to be this way, otherwise they can't be mass produced! And because they're mass produced, if you break how to mess up one, you've got them all! Even mob bosses have to figure out how to bribe different guards differently! This is insane! You're handing over so much power to one individual and praying that she doesn't program in abuses to her system, and to boot we're doing it for the one who DIDN'T save the world at least one time!”

He huffed as he caught his breath, positively winded as he looked desperately to every wide-eyed, shocked face.

“If Equestria is so... broken that we can't even be trusted to protect ourselves, if we're so damn ruined on the inside that we can't even be trusted to be our own guard, we're so incapable of even getting better and we have to rely on... just a machine. Something that does not care about us, our family, our friends and our loved ones, who will not look to us with anything but cold dead eyes no matter what tragedy befalls us, and who's loyalty isn't in here, in the heart, but just a bunch of prerecorded commands... why are we even bothering to try and save it? Why not just... give it up to whoever makes the robots? Why are you all here if the ponies you are sworn to protect will just never get better? Why bother?”

A shaking hoof reached up, slowly taking off the helmet he had honestly forgotten he had even been wearing before looking into his own reflection.

“...These ponies need someone to protect them when disaster hits. They need someone they know will be there and will fight for them no matter what who they can depend on. They don't need something that someone made in a factory for the sheer purpose of profit, and nothing else. They need to know when that guard stands between them and whatever's coming down the way. it's because that guard knows they're a breathing, living thing, and knows they're worth protecting, and will fight for them because of it. They need to feel safe, not monitored. If we can't give them that...”

Slowly, he set the helmet on the table.

“...I'd rather we just stopped pretending we're trying to make Equestria better, and just accept we'll take whatever it is we can use to get through the day. So long as it doesn't involve other species, of course.”

The room was hushed as they all looked to him. Some were shocked, yes, some were absolutely gobsmacked, some others... unimpressed. But all of them, every one, was silent.

With one notable exception.

“Kiiinda got a point girls.”

Every head snapped over to the laid back, almost causal looking rainbow topped mare reclining in her chair.

“I mean, look, if we're just looking for some shiny new toys that'll replace the squishy stuff, why don't we just replace the Wodnerbolt's too? No, hold up, even better. Apparently we're just looking for what 'works', not how it gets there, right? So why the heck did you say we had to get rid of everyone? They were just taking drugs to work better, right? Who cares who's up there! Just need some results! Clearly I'd better go tell everyone I kicked out, “hey! You can all come back now, and take all the drugs you want!” Because if they can't get better... well, why does everyone assume the Wonderbolts can? We're in the same boat. If you're replacing him...”

She unbuckled her pin, the one that had not left her a single time since she got it, and tossed it next to his helmet.

“Whelp, better just ask for some rocket models, then, cause I know that what makes you awesome can't be punched in or programmed with magic, it's gotta come from in here. It's gotta be right here, right at the part of you that needs to fly and won't let go till you do! These hooves are better than any robot, and I'm not going to command a bunch of over-designed can openers!”

Nobody knew what to say there. How does one respond, really, when your best friend essentially tells you she'd rather give up her childhood dream than go through with your plan? How does one take it when she just hovers there, forelegs crossed in a huff and glares down each and every one of them?

Well, if you're Applejack, apparently... you frown, and glare right at the white stallion.

A move that instilled confidence in absolutely nobody.

“Ya'll have had years, decades, maybe longer, ta' get yer' shit tagether. Ta' prove ya' really are lookin' ta' make Equestria a better place. Ya'll have had ample time, and ample INVASIONS, ta' step up ta' the plate. Why, exactly, should we think ya'll are gonna finally get it in gear now? How much longer do those ponies out there gotta deal with not feelin' safe from their own soldiers until ya' wake up and smell the smoke from the fire yer' too incompetent ta' put out? They ain't lookin' fer' good lookin' faces, they want them someone who'll actually be there.”

It was going to happen again, they all realized.

Defeat. Another defeat yet to come. Another defeat that will bring the poor stallion down, and likely send Dash with him. Defeat was imminent, and the jaws were clamping down.

“...Ya' got one month.”

And yet, from those jaws... they pulled a victory.

“One... one month?”

“One month.”

“One month to do what, exactly?”

“...Ya' know what? Ah' like yer' dedication, and Ah' like yer' devotion... ya' got one month ta' get the guard back up ta' respectable numbers, and we'll go from there.”

Hope, glorious hope, swelled in his chest, hope that was as warm to him as a flame in the middle of the arctic. Hope, at last, reigned.

“That... should be doable. What's 'respectable' to you?”

“You'll know.”

“Oh... okay.”

“But ah'll give ya' a hint, just cause Ah' feel like it. At the very least, ya' damn well better have more than the changelings. Anythin' less than that, and you best not even waste mah' time.”

“...Wait, what? We should have way more than that, way way more, how many do we have right now?”

The look they all shared... took every bit of that hope away, strangled it before his very eyes, and laughed as he watched it die.

“Iffin' ya' can't manage this by the end o' the month, then we're goin' with the robots, and that's that. Any objections?”

Nothing but a negative as far as the eye can see.

“Motion passes! Good luck, Pommel. Yer' gonna need it.”

He snapped up, placing his helmet atop his head and giving a stern, striking salute.

“Yes Ma'am! I will not fail you, princesses!”

“Good. Dismissed, everyone.”

He marched out in a sharp, strong fashion, and they all let out a long, tired sigh and stretched their weary muscles, giving out words of thanks that the ordeal was finally over.

“...Anyone feeling cake? I'm feeling cake right now.”

“Ah' already got them all set up in the next room-”

“DIBS!”

“OH HELL NO!”

“BACK OFF YOU SKANKS I NEED THIS!”

“TWILIGHT! I ORDER YOU TO STOP THEM!”

“BACK OFF OLD TIMER I AM GOING TO LOSE MY COOKIES IF I DON'T GET SOME SUGAR IN ME!”

"LIZARD DEMON! BEGONE! WE AND ONLY WE ARE DESERVING OF THIS GREATNESS!”

“I WILL BITE YOU! I NEED MY GEMS!"

The asses of nearly every single mare, and one dragon, hung out the door as they struggled to make it through, kicking wildly and shoving with everything they had. The only two that remained, Applejack and Sunset, shared a look.

“... So was she always like this?”

“Yes.”

“Jus' checkin'.”

“I notice you aren't making a move for it.”

“Reckon' yer' right, Sunny.”

“...Because?”

Wickedly, she smiled, trotting over to the nearest wall and shoving it. To the former protge's surprise, it slid right open, revealing the room full of confectionery treats.

“Ah' plan ahead.”

“By the way, Applejack?”

“Hm?”

The yellow unicorn looked over to the still stuck pile, eyes focuses in on a specific, distinct rainbow tail.

“...nevermind, I'll ask you later.”

“Good call.”

Celestia stopped, her head suddenly shooting up.

“...I smell them...”

“...APPLEJACK YOU ASSHOLE!”

“TURN AROUND! WE'VE GOT TO TURN AROUND!”

“WE'RE ONLY MAKING IT WORSE!”

“THE CAKES!”

“NOOOOOOOOOO!”

With a smile, Applejack went in the room... and shut the door.

“Princess meetin'... adjourned."

~~~~

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was over.

It was done.

Chrysalis had only needed one look, one glance to Twilight's apologetic, sad eyes to know it was over, and she had lost. Really, from the look so many others gave her, she hadn't even been in the running.

The fire that had consumed her had been quick, an inferno that spread as fast as the one bubbling up inside of her. She had been carried away every bit by that need to be somewhere, anywhere else right then as she had by any spell. Casting herself through the ether until she landed on one of the many ridges overlooking Canterlot, far too high up for any to see.

Snow crunched underneath her hooves as she began to pace. Had it been the altitude? A careless pegasi who had dropped a snowcloud where it had not been needed? Something else? She didn't care, the cold beneath her hooves were nothing to her right now, she could have been up to her neck and ice and she would feel nothing but the fire under her chitin.

...She had failed.

Her plan had been perfect. A time of desperation, an event to prove her subject's worth, and that same event to show her own loyalty. This should have been a carefree victory, one she need not even have tried to have accomplished.

Had the reveal of her misdeeds been too much? Had that swayed the pendulum too far away from her? Had she been brought low by the idiocy of someone like Jugglejack? It was a mystery to her.

She raged, stomping in that perfect circle, feeling the power charge through her every cell, feeling the magic beyond all compare in her every vein... and knowing it meant nothing.

That, perhaps, is why at the very core of her, in her innermost parts, in the center from which this fire raged... was ice.

A single ball of chilling, painful ice she sought to burn away with her rage, but stubbornly refused to die. She had magic, she had power... but she could not shake that thing living in her like a parasite.

“So, it's finally sinking in, isn't it?”

She stopped moving like concrete had been poured into her veins, funneled down forcibly through her throat and stilling her lungs every bit as much as her own limbs.

“That feeling is finally taking hold, no longer sliding away beneath a body who thinks themselves untouchable. The song that has sang since the day you arrived has finally reached your ears, no longer drowned out by laughter. It has finally found it's hooks, and has sunken in.”

Her pupils stung with dryness as she slowly looked over, to the sound of the voice that had been a part of her life longer than these ponies, those friends, this place. The sound that held that fanged smile, those wicked eyes, that powerful frame...

“...It's not going to work...”

Her dear Aunt Chitania.

She hissed, horn already ablaze with far more magic than Chitania was ever likely to have seen, more power than she would every have known.

Just like the namesake for which she was known, the Titan remained unmoveable. Worse, she was nothing more than smiles as far as the eye could see.

“It's finally sinking in that all of your struggles, all of your work, all of your hopes and dreams, they're just not going to happen, are they? They shall never come to fruition, no matter how hard you try/”

She could not bring herself to fire as Chitania's massive form neared her, her stocky body rocking the very foundation of the ridge with every step. Yet, she was smooth, moving as if she were a cat and curling delighted at the look on her contemporaries face.

“So much power...”

Her long neck craned up, tongue flicking out towards the other Queen's horn. Frantically, Chrysalis backpedaled, moving until she reached the very end of the ridge, mere centimeters away from falling off.

“So much power... and yet, it is fleeting, isn't it?”

She rolled a green ball of the flame around in her mouth, tasting it, savoring it.

“How long will this power last, Chrysalis?”


She flicked it out, using her tongue to send it to her hooves to roll about all over, up and down and between the holes.

“Shall it last a year? Ten? A hundred years? Or merely... until he dies.”

Her teeth nearly shattered in her snarl of rage, but she still could not bring herself to move.

“For you see, in the end... it's always a few, isn't it?”

She was moving again, a hundred times too graceful to possibly be the massive form she was known for, circling around her fellow Queen with an ethereal grace, all the while bouncing that green ball all about her.

“It's always one who believes in you, who thinks it can work and will fight for you, stand for you, reach out to you... it's always one who make you believe that this life of peace is one that can be attained at last, it's always one, just one. The only one who does not fear you, who trusts you completely and without reservation, who believes in you despite what you are and what you've done, it is always just one that makes you feel like this. One little pony...”

With the snap like a trap closing in, she bit down, snuffing out the little green ball in her mouth.

“Who never lasts.”

The other Queen whirled, emerald blade forming amidst her fury, willed into existence rather than conjured. That blade pressed against the Titan's neck, threatening to sear through at any moment. Her eyes spoke everything, ever single word that would need to be said. One threat, and she would cleave that crowned head from it's shoulders. She would end her now... for him.

Chitania did not so much as blink.

“Now, why do you assume it will be me? A cart spun out of control, a bad slip in the bath, a piece of food too thick to swallow, a spell gone wrong, a dragon on a rampage, so many many things... to snuff him out.”

A titanic hoof reached up, casually pushing the emerald blade away without ever touching it.

“All you should focus on is... it's him. One slip, and your hive goes hungry. One bad meal, and you lose your power. A single slip of a knife... and you are left alone with them.”

Her hoof curled, seeming to hold all of Canterlot in it's grasp.

“Those who will never trust you completely. Those who will see you as a monster no matter how many deeds. Bug monster. Invader. You will never escape these titles as surely as you will never escape the chitin on your skin. For it takes only one, a single heart that is greater than the others, to give you hope. A single heart that possesses forgiveness like you have never seen to make one believe. But never forget, it is only one heart... and it can be taken away.”

She felt something brush against her chest as Chitania passed her by, floating more than flying. If it was a touch of chitin or the wind, she could not tell.

“How many times must you try to save them before they no longer fear the dagger in their backs? How many times must you manipulate the world to their benefit before they do not hover over your shoulder. How many times... I'll tell you. There is no number that high, every flick of dirt in a mountain insufficient to describe it, nothing you will ever do will sway their hearts. Save their friends, and they will think you are performing another form of mind control. Defend their homes, they will think you are protecting the land you wish to conquer. Offer to work with them... and they will see what you are trying to take away.”

All the same, it chilled her.

“The one who trusts you will never match to the thousand that fear you. The one who would mourn your death is but a whisper to the cheers that will drown it out. Your plans will fail, Chrysalis. Just as they always have. You will try to make them believe in you, do your very best, but in the end, in one fell swoop, it will all fall apart. You will be left with nothing more than the carcasses of the hive that you swore to protect, crushed beneath the hooves who's fear had overtaken them and brought about the war. What plan do you have should they take no more? How shall you survive... when it is your turn? When you will face what I and countless other Queens have. Hope is so... tantalizing, isn't it?”

Eyes.

Burning, gleeful eyes locked right into her own. Eyes that made her head throb in pain, like a spike driven into her skull. Eyes that made that spike radiate with ache with every single sound that passed her lips.

“...You are going to fail, Chrysalis. There is nothing you can do to stop it, nothing you can do to change it. Protect them, save them, work with them, nothing until the day you bow before them and plead for them to take your hive will ever let them see you any different. They do not want a friend, they want a weak willed simp who begs for forgiveness and pleads for their oh so gracious mercy. If they do not have that...they will betray you, your hive will die... and then you will be all alone.”

She could see it, taste it. Venom was positively dripping from Chitania's fangs, sharp and deadly as they had grown.

“And it will happen... when Shining Armor DIES!”

Fury untold raced through her, shattering the ice and weight that had held her locked in place, destroying whatever kept her still in the face of that monster.

Her hoof swung out with a speed that would have been impossible to follow had anyone been looking at it, power of love so grand it would have shattered mountains if only it had landed.

But it didn't.

It didn't land... on anything.

Nothing but a burst of sound and pressure as it swung through the air, useless.

And then there was quiet....

'Miss?'

The soft, tepid voice cut through the haze and rush in her ears, it's soft sound enough to at last get her attention and pull it to the sky, where a blue stallion floated cautiously in the air behind her.

'Are you... okay?'

She hissed, sending him floating back in a frenzy to get away.

“We just had personal business.”

'...We?'

She began to point where Chitania had stood, to where her aunt had been as she hounded her and mocked her as she paced before her.

But she found nothing.

Nothing but a rock wall... and pure, unbroken, virgin snow.

'...Miss?'

There was a heaviness of silence, a weight that seemed to hang that all feared would take them if they let it out.

Without a single word, she summoned the flame around her...

Then Queen Chrysalis was gone.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________