Thread 87: Stories 46-60

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Shiny
"Sombra"

"Shining Armor!"

>Oh, hey Sombra, something you need?

"No, I almost forgot but I have your gift here."

>Sombra, you really didn't need to get me any-

"You literally forgave one of these worst ponies to ever walk the material plane and let him live rent-free in your castle while pursuing experiments to regain a body. Take the present."

>Okay!

Ka-Rip!

>...it's...

"Yes."

>It's...a dreadnought.

"Yes."

>A blue one.

"...yes."

>Really?

"Yes, Shining Armor after all we've been though I look past your frankly vomit-inducing disregard for correct coloring. Painted it myself in fact. I didn't cry. Much."

>Sombra, I don't know what to say, I should really get you something.

"No no, it's fine."

>Really? Weren't you getting into Hyperwars Fantasy?

"I appreciate the gesture, but that game is dead."

>That's weird, what about Age of-

"Dead. Such a tragedy."

>...why are you shaking with....rage?

"So...very...very...dead. HAPPY HEARTHSWARMING!"

Whoosh.

>Eh, I'll find some way to pay him back.


_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>32
"77"
'Spike'

>AHA!

"...what?"

>Gah! Oh, brother! Didn't see you there...

"88, why did you shapeshift into our brother's form?"

>What? Oh. Ha ha, yes, great. Look! Grab the nearest available person, I need to test something!

"...you realize Spike is directly next to me, right?"

>...hello.

'Hi, you lunatic.'

>Shush, brother, the cards!

"The cards you somehow managed to buy that insult anyone you give them to? What about them?"

>Look!

"...'Even someone with one eye can see you should have a happy Hearthswarming'. You bought two!?"

>No, now look!

32 yanks the card away from 77 and offers it to Spike.

'Happy Hearthswarming, Use Protection For All Our Sakes-hey!'

>SEE!? Same card, different insults! I've been sold enchanted cards! Cursed even!

"That's odd, who'd want to do such a thing?"

'An asshole?'

>Well yes, I gathered that, but who!?

'Chrysalis?'

>No, there's no way she'd deign to prank me, she barely wants to acknowledge I exist.

'Wow, self esteem issues much?'

>What magical being could possibly seek my downfall and further estrangement from the Hive? A mystery for the ages-

'It's probably Discord.'

"Yeah, it's probably-"

>I shall not stop until I find the culprit! I must away!

Whoosh!

"..."

'...your brother needs like...every single chill pill possible.'

"I am aware of this."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Celestia"
~~~~

"So... I was wondering, about that mind thing you made for Applejack... why don't you sell those?"

>What?

"Sell them, why don't you just sell those things? They seem like they would be pretty useful."

>It's still in the alpha phase, I said! I said this, didn't I? I didn't even know how to do it until I did the doing with the do-mare who is Sunset.

"Yes, but when they're ready for market, shouldn't you be thinking about business marketing? Advertising and such?"

>Here's the advertisement, fucking orbs that let you remember a past event clearly and show it to other. Here's the price, exorbitant.

"That seems unwise, you should make them affordable to everyone."

>Celly, there are two kinds of ways to be successful in business. Sell something so exorbitantly expensive that only the richest can afford it, but make it so desirable they will afford it. Or sell it at such a high volume and such a low price that everyone, everywhere, will buy it by the dozens. I can't do the latter, this shit is hard to make and not lobotomize someone, so I'm going with the former.

"...How do you know so much about business?"

>My cousins fucked them left and right, of course they were going to pick up a few things I could glean from them.

"Riiiiight... Still, seems kind of sad that you can't make this available to everyone. I wish they could all have this..."

>...I'm not caving because you're frowning.

"..."

>...No.

"..."

>Noooo.

"...'

>...

"..."

>...Hrpmh.

"And they said I was bad at politics!"

>...

"Shut up."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Silver Spoon"
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but the spooks are real! Now for our main guest...SILVER SPOON!!!

"Hello."

>How did it go? Did she laugh?

"No, she thought it was dumb and said to stop hanging around you."

>WHAT!?!

"I thought it was a good pun."

>If at first you don't succeed try try again until she laughs! Be a determinator! That's the end of our show. Catch us next time when I give a gift to a kid.

Silver Spoon wakes up.
"...I'll think of something."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>42
"18"
~~~

>So, Cadence just acted really, really weird right there.

"As opposed toooo...?"

>How she normally acts, which is not that. See, Normal, by definition, is a standard set by repetition or frequentness of any defined act or physical state. Normal is just to say she does so and so more often than any other so and so, and thus if she deviates from that I use the moniker 'weird' in order to express the deviation from said set standard. Now, while it's possible for the standard for normal to change over a set period of time until the new acts of physical states far outweigh the previous iterations of 'normal', we have not yet passed this threshold, so this is still very much in the category of 'weird'. Hence my issue.

"........Did you rehearse that?

>No.

"Somehow, that just makes it way, way, way scarier."

>...So, Cadence? What's up with her?

"I dunno. But she's making her way to Shiny, so that problem is solved."

>Shouldn't you get in on that?

"...should I?"

>...

"...This relationship is weird."

>At least you get to be weird...

"What was that?"

>NOTHING!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Pinkie
"Fluttershy"
'Dash'
~~~~~

>Awww... I'm still a little disappointed Rarity beat me.

"Um... I guess you could see it as you both won?"

>It's not the saaaame!

'Hey, at least you can afford it, somehow.'

>Wait, don't you get a huge bonus from the Wonderbolts?

'It's not that huge.'

>Well, how huge are we talking? We talking huge, or 'you really underplayed that and you needed to be more honest' huge?

'...Huge?'

>Just let me see your paystub!

'I don't carry those around! Why would I-'

*POP!*

"...Huh."

'HOW!?'

"I just wondered what it looked like and it happened."

'So you took this from my house!? I even know which one this is! This has the mustard stain from that sandwhich I ate two weeks ago!'

>...But the mustard stain is still wet.

'I didn't say I finished it.'

>Ignoring tha-WHOA!

"WHOA!"

'Whoa?'

>HOLY SHIT DASHIE YOU'RE LOADED!

"That's more than I spent on my animals in a month..."

'It's not that big a deal.'

>All you gave me for Hearth's Warming was some more confetti bombs for my party cannon!

'It's the thought that counts?'

>The receipt you left in the box said you bought it yesterday!

'It's the speed that counts... tell me I'm wrong!'

"..."

'Oh, poo on-'

*SNAP!*

'OH FRICK MY HOOF!... WHY IS MY PAY STUB ALIVE!?'

"..."

'Right, riiiight... kill it?'

>NO!

'...Fricken chaos powers.'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>55
"??"
~~~~~

>... Is... Is Miss Pinkie going to take long? She said she just needed me for a second, but she's still gone... Huh. I'm not quite sure what... What to doooo... Hm? Oh! Look! An envelope.... and it's to me! I wonder what this says.

"NO WAIT, DON'T OPEN THA-"

>Oh my gosh!

"I tried to warn you, don't get mad and set me on-"

>I can't read!

"..."

>...

"..."

>... Hi, mister 32! You done being crazy?

"Think I'm set for a relapse, actually."

>Hey, can you read this to me?

"Er... 'You make my Hearth Warm this year, happy holidays.'"

>Hey, that's real considerate of you! Thanks, buddy!

"Suuuuree..."

>Aren't you going to give it back?

"O-oh, of course... But first!"

Fwoosh!

"I know how much you like fires, now it's extra special!"

>Hey, it is extra special! Happy Hearth Warming, 32!

"You too, 55, you too..."

>...wow, that sure had a lot of Fs and Re something's for warm... Guess ponies must spell it funny!... Why does my ashes feel angry at me?


_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Cadence"
~~~~

He had been staring.

Staring for what had felt like a lifetime, and eternity, several eternities even! With this one long, endless, never ending stare at last he grasped the vastness of the universe, the mindbending realities of the fathomless emptiness of time, in this one instance he was unto that of the highest immortals, not living in time, experiencing it.

How his wife had sat through what should have been endless ages with that same strange, oddly vacant smile upon her face and not a single care to be found in her very being is a mystery that would elude even the wisest of scholars or the most learned of intellectuals.

The possibility that he had not transcended time and reality itself and past by several lifetimes in this instant was present, he admitted, but he found it just a touch more likely he had somehow managed to disentangle himself from reality and was now on some sort of timeless nether plane that had no rhyme or meaning.

"Soooo... what do you think?"

>...Lets talk about this somewhere else.

He did not teleport, oh no, that simply did not justify how hard he left that spot with wife in tow. He simple ceased to be on a cosmic scale for a brief period, and Cadence just so happened to come along as his existence was lost to all of time for a second.

For sure, nobody had heard that and it was unlikely any ever would, but he still felt that not existing in a place that might remind him this is in fact reality and not the delusions brought on by one too many a treat of apple delight subtly grown rotten was not where he wanted to be right now.

This place? This empty area with none around and none to come close to him or the strangely smiling mare who had replaced his wife? This is where he wanted to be.

>...Run that by me again, just one more time.

He hoped, beyond all hope, that it would make more sense this time.

"Okay, so, I know we're trying to move things forwards with Eighteen and so on and so forth- and it's still okay with me really so don't worry there!- but I realized I uh... I don't know how to, you know, kiss a mare. Now, at first I was just going to, you know, do it with Eighteen, but then I got talking with... a friend, and apparently it's way harder than it sounds, and if you mess it up it's super awkward. Like, you wouldn't believe how awkward. Not talk to each other awkward. Siiince, you know, I kind of want to keep talking to her, I figured, practice you know! Practice. So then I was like "well I can't just kiss any mare, that would be gross!" so it had to be someone close to me and you and obviously Eighteen because we have to include her in this, but then when I went around looking at my options I kept deciding 'nah' for one reason or another-mostly because they freaked out and said some mean things and also I may have slipped hot sauce into Celestia's cake mix but nevermind- until I reached Forty Two and was like, hey! All of us like her, really like her! But then I was like "Well I can't just ASK, I need to make sure you're not going to freak out" and then I asked, and you're not freaking out... So there!"

...Here lies the hopes and dreams of Shining Armor, he wanted the world to make sense.

It didn't.

>...So... you're worried that if you and Eighteen ever kiss, you're going to mess up so catastrophically badly that, in fact, you will be so ashamed of it that it will put a major strain on the relationship portion of this, possibly to the point you won't even be able to talk to her. So, in order to combat this, you are... wanting to practice kissing on some other mare?

"Essentially!"

>Annnnd... you're not worried it'll make things awkward with Forty Two?

"Nope!"

He hadn't asked for much, he thought, just a little bit of sense. What cruel goddess wouldn't grant him that?

Short answer, apparently whatever one actually existed.

>Why not?

"A doy! Forty Two is the most professional changeling, like, ever! Biggest reason she works is that, well, she's kind of... blunt."

>I cannot deny this.

"She's so blunt, and more importantly, completely inexperienced even if I mess up she either won't know it was a mess up or won't care and will just continue on, because it's just a request! She knows the difference."

>I... see the base logic here?

"So, thanks to this, I can practice worry free, and I don't have to ever worry about it ever getting out or making things weird, because... it's Forty Two! She's so loyal she almost blew herself up that one time for me!"

>...

"...Not that this and that are connected, but you get what I mean."

>Okay... so...

This was going to take some doing.

>Is this because of me? Is... are you really just worried it'll be awkward for all three of us afterwards if you mess up? Because, I assure you, I-

"Iiitt's... not really about that."

>Then what is it abo-... oh.

Oh, he said, as if somehow that explained literally anything.

Oh, he said, with all the conviction of one who had just found another candybar he didn't like shuffled in the back of the cupboard.

Oh, he said, and she understood.

>What you heard really shook you, huh?

And so did he.

>Honey... you're good at your job.

She didn't respond, not until he placed his hooves on her shoulders, and shifted her ever so slightly until she had to look at him, no matter how much she didn't want to.

"Shining, it... you don't have to say that to me like this."

He always had to remind himself he didn't need to go soft on her, seeing as she was very likely more powerful than he was by several margins in magic, but even still, he strained only slightly in his grip.

>Cadence, I'm being as honest right now with you as I have ever been or ever will be... you are a good- are you listening to me?- you are a GOOD Princess of Love. You, more than anyone else in the whole world, deserve this.

He had been hoping for a bit of fire to come back into her, a bit of life, a bit of literally anything but a bit of a sigh that she let out.

There is a reason he didn't gamble.

"Shiny, I love that you'd say that to me, and it will never stop making me feel special when you do... but you'd say it if I was the worst princess who ever walked this earth, and whats more you'd believe it fully, just like you do now. It's... it's one thing if I can't be completely on the nose with a physical aspect of a love I'm not experiencing... I mean, otherwise I would just literally be going down a list to see what I need to do and trying them all, right? For the physical, at least."

Was it possible to will yourself back to white after turning green?

Yes, yes it was. Suck it, Biology.

"But I don't want that, and I don't need that. The physical usually isn't important at all, it's just another expression, it only matters to me... when it's me."

>I...don't follow.

For one who was normally very preppy and full of life, she seemed rather... flat right there.

"It's one thing if someone else stumbles and fumbles sometimes, but for me... let me put it this way. This? Right here?"

He had no time to react before she abruptly shot forwards, capturing his lips on hers. He lost himself instantly, savoring her for ever second she held on until she far too soon pulled away.

"This I understand... this, I could do a million times, and they would always feel right...but I understand it because I'm not worried about it. I'm not afraid what you think, or how you're going to react... but it wasn't always like this."

Her hoof shot up, ruffling her hair and disheveling her crown just a bit.

"My first kiss with you, I was terrified. And it was because I liked you, and felt something special with you, and wanted it to be right. Do you really think if I had freaked out and, I don't know, bit your tongue or something, we would have continued on as smoothly as we did?"

He wanted to say yes. He felt like it was a yes, regardless of what she believed.

But he also knew when she didn't believe it.

"...The Princess of Love has to be... better than that, understand it better than that. And when I heard those things, I just got to thinking, just got playing over and over in my head... what would it mean if this time, I messed up? What if I... wasn't what I was back then, back when I really understood love and all of it. What if now... I'm just not what I was anymore."

>Cadence...

"But this... new things are happening, and I want to understand it, I feel like I can understand it, and if I want to understand it, I need to experience it for real, just as it is, without anything to muddy the situation. I need to understand it as love, not... I can't be afraid I'm going to mess this up. For me, or for you."

Her hoof, only slightly painfully thanks to her shoes, pinched his lips shut before he could react.

"And yes, for you is important. You are important to me, Shining. That's all that matters. So... knowing that it's just going to be that and nothing else, would it still bother you?"

That, indeed, was the question... would it bother him?

Well, yes, he admitted. Her with literally anyone else on the planet bothered him on some level. Sure, this wasn't a stallion they were talking about, and it was a dear friend of his who he trusted with his very life any day of the week and every second therein, and whom he knew was attracted to him so if anything she would be less likely to take advantage, and whom he knew would do anything for Cadence as much as himself, but still, it bothered him.

It bothered him because it wasn't HIM.

But, he had to admit, by that same token, could he really put that strain on her? This was obviously important to her pride of her title. She had been feeling less and less like she deserved it for... who knows how long. And it had only been getting worse and worse and worse as time had gone on This was important to her that she got it right the first time, and perhaps at last he finally had found his answer to how to get her out of her funk. At last, he had possibly found his answer for the one thing that could combination cheer her up, make her believe in herself again, strengthen their relationship with Eighteen, and maybe even make thing so much more easier for everything in the future.

Forty Two worked, he trusted her not to take advantage and she sure as hell wasn't going to turn it into bragging rights. This could work.

But it wasn't HIM.

Still, if there was one thing he loved more than seeing her... it was seeing her happy, and believing in herself to be the princess he knew she was.

If this could do that, if it could make her believe again, if she needed this to experience love as it was...

Well, it was true, he did really like Forty Two, he supposed.

>...You sure she'll go for it? She uh... freaks out a lot when regarding romantic stuff.

"If so, then I suppose I'll just have no excuses, right? She's the only one who really fits, so if she feels uncomfortable with it I obviously won't push her, and accept it. I'll understand it, for sure. I'll just have to... see what happens."

Any fight he still held left him when she said that. The cautious way those last few lines rolled off her tongue told him everything he needed to know.

She was worried.

This would make her less worried.

It was just a kiss, that was it.

This was fine.

>...Well, I mean, so long as it's Forty Two, I guess it wouldn't really be all that bad if it's just a quick kiss to get the shakes out of your syst-

No more of that, she had apparently decided. She had heard all he needed to, is what he took away from the abrupt way her lips once more stole the words and breath from him.

His one regret is that apparently time had decided it worked again, and he did not get to live beyond time and space in this everlasting moment.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to make out with her or shove my tongue down her throat! I just need... like you said, just something to take the feargoggles off for a bit, so that when it finally happens... I'll be able to see clearly, and understand."

>If... if you say so.

He felt like he should say more. Obviously, any idiot could see he needed to say more. But he was a special kind of idiot.

The kind that knew there was a fire but couldn't find a bucket.

He knew this was just as much for him as it was her, and he appreciated it, really. But words just didn't seem to cut it, not this time.

"...Think she'll go for it?"

>I'm betting her sputtering for a bit and then punching herself in the head into unconsciousness because she can't process it.

"...Want to take a bet on that?"

>Ohhh? And what kind of bet is that?

Oh boy.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy!

The look! She was giving him 'the look'! That look when they were younger 'the look'!

YAY!

"I'll think of something."

'You think of that something', he cried internally, 'you think of all the somethings!'

"Not going to get jealous of her, are you?"

>I'll keep my rage in check.

"Oh well, you'll get back at me later."

>Oh? And why is- oh, right.

She giggled playfully, shoving him in the chest.

"That's right, you still have to give them your gift."

>Cannot believe you okayed that.

"My logic is sound!"

>It is, but still.

"...Shining?"

>Hm?

"No matter what happens with this, no matter what changes with her or anyone else, we're never going to change, right?"

This was his time.

His time to be the one to move forwards, and take her breath, and her worries, all away.

>Nothing, ever, will change this. Nothing.

That was all he needed to say. That was all he needed to hear.

They would enjoy this moment, just a little bit longer, then go back to their lives, he knew. But he would savor it, for what it was.

Still, in this silence, he couldn't help but wonder to himself.

>...You know, I bet most stallions, when their wives ask "I want to kiss this mare", just go "YES!" really loudly and maybe bro-hoof the nearest other male. Don't think they normally have long discussions on the matter.

"Yeah, we're a little weird, aren't we?"

>Little bit.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Celestia
"Luna"
~~

>Are you enjoying yourself more?

"No."

>I told you that you would.

"These ponies are too loud."

>They're a rowdy bunch.

"The food is not to our liking."

>There's a country charm to it.

"And thou spent too much on our gifts."

>...Your gifts?

"Did thou not get gifts from us to them?"

>What? No, you're supposed to do that yourself.

"SISTER! We don't know any of these ponies, how could you not give our gifts for us!?"

>That misses the whole point of the season.

"The whole point of the season is pointless consumerism wrapped up in overly saccharine feelings!"

>...No it isn't.

"Quick, stick our name to thou's gifts!"

>I already handed them out!

"Well, the do it retroactively!"

>That's not how that works!

"DON'T SCREW US ON THIS, TIA!"

>It's too late!

"FUCK!'

>Language!

"Okay, OKAY! We're not going to look bad, we just have to be... creative...."

~~~~

"Dream voucher! Did we not give them to thee yet? One free dream of thou's choosing! Just for you, our sub- er, friends!"

>Smooth.

"FORNICATE WITH THINE HORN, BETRAYER!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Rarity
"Twilight"
'???'
~~~
"..."

>...

"..."

>...Twilight? Darling? Why are you staring at me like that?

"..."

>...Twilight?

"..."

Without speaking, the other alicorn reached forwards, grabbed Rarity by the horn, and brought her in close.

>T-Twilight, what on earth are you-

BZZT!

>...

"..."

>...Did... did a little electricity thing go between our horns?

"It's technically called a jacobs ladder."

>...

"...You thinking what I'm thinking?"

>Yes.

~~~~~~~

'Wow, apple fritters, pie, glaze, filling and even juice! I'm noticing a theme here... seriously, would a little vitamin C kill the-'

POKE!

BZZT!

'GGAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!'

>HAAHAHHAHAH!
"AHAHHAHHAHAHAHAH OH MY GOSH YOUR FAAAACCCEEEE!"

'OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWWW! MY ASS IS ON FIIIRRREEE!'

>...Think we went too far?

"No. Pinkie next?"

>Pinkie next.

'YOU GUYS SUCK!'

>That's nice, Dash!


_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>32
"Shining Armor"

>...

"..."

>So. Hello.

"Hello."

>...Look, I'm going to be one hundred percent honest with you, none of these cards are for you.

"Not even the one that says 'You Are Literally The Luckiest Stallion Alive, Shame About The Wings, Haha'?"

>Yes.

"What about the 'So Many Ladies, So Little Sex'?"

>They're enchanted! They say whatever's likely to hurt the recipient the most. I bought them to give to my hivemates to kind of...well, break the ice after...y'know, disrespecting her majesty, attempting to murder said majesty, praying for their ruin from my cell for quite a few months, then my mom went and possessed an acquaintance in order to do...something to salvage her and my name's but that didn't really work out how she wanted-

"..."

>...my sins are multitude, but listen. I am attempting to find the culprit.

"It's probably-"

>Exhausting every avenue.

"It's-"

>Chasing down the leads.

"Dis-"

>You know, I should maybe go find 10! Reporters are just Private Investigators with an Editor, and she's her own Editor, it's perfect-

"Okay, dude, listen to me. I cannot spell this out any more than this, it's DIS-"

>Thanks for you help, Shining Armor, and to think I thought you an impotent whipping boy. Do take care, and say hi to the little one and Sombra for me!

"...sheesh."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________


>32
"???"

Through the snow, the changeling trudged, his wagon of cursed well-wishes trailing behind him. His teeth chattered a bit as he walked, he really should have topped off on love while he was still in the castle...

>W-w-well no use cr-crying over sp-spilt love-

"Oh yes, doing that would almost certainly just result in your tear ducts freezing over."

>...oh dear.

32's shivering head almost swiveled to look behind him, where the Draconequus reclined in the wagon, going through the cards like any person checking their mail.

"Let's see, bill, bill, bill, hate mail, jury duty..."

>C-c-can I h-help you?

"Hm? Oh no, I'm just having a gay old time back here. That's gay as in happy, not gay as in Shining Arm-"

>I g-g-guessed.

"Oh my, catching a cold are we? Well that won't do."

A snap of talons, a feeling of reality itself doing gymnastics.

Suddenly 32 was striding along a beach in a Haywaiian shirt and a Paneighma hat. Discord continued to recline in the wagon, now sporting a tanning screen and sunglasses.

"For the love of all that is sacred, don't tip that."

>Er, as much as I appreciate the gesture I really need to track down the force behind the-

"Me. It was me. D-I-S-C-O-R-D. I did it. I didn't even change my voice when I sold them to you. It was preeeetty pathetic you didn't see through my ruse, Mr. Infiltrator."

The Paneighma hat now sported a dunce cap atop it.

>I was hoping it wasn't so...

"Afraid to face the truth, were we?"

>No, I just don't understand why you'd trouble yourself with me.

"Oh Pinkie and ancillaries like you and your little friend in the guard are most everyone I'm allowed to talk to any more. Quite depressing, especially since so many dislike your insectoid ilk."

>...well I mean, I'm trying to get ponies to see we changelings aren't all bad.

"Hm? Oh right, yes, them too. Look, laddo, I'm staring you right in the face, the architect of your horrible little day, why don't you do what we both know you're going to do?"

The god of chaos smirked, slinking off the wagon and cupping one of his ears.

>...take me back, please.

"Beg pardon?"

>Please take me back to Canterlot, I'd like to go home.

"...that's it? That's all? Hello! Reality check, my boy, this is the part where you rage against me, take me to task! I thought a cut-rate 'revolutionary' like you would know that!"

>No...no, Mr. Discord, I think you'll find being soundly defeated by two changeling Queens makes me less than eager to face a being much more powerful than both of them combined.

"WHAT!?"

The Chaos God glared, a smouldering mad fire behind his eyes.

"You don't get to just DECIDE to be a coward, you glorified cockroach! We're most assuredly going back to Canterlot, and when we do, you are going to march right back to that castle and lodge a complaint against me!"

>...why?

"Because-...BECAUSE that's what you're SUPPOSED to do!"

>Because it's what you want me to do...I'm curious as to why.

"...I don't need to explain myself to you, you walking slash fic."

>Something here just doesn't add up, your raison d'arte is chaos, but there is very little chaos to be had from a series of rude greeting cards. In fact this whole thing seems more like the act of a mean-spirited prankster than a deity of madness.

"Oh really? And what would you know about that?"

>Suffice to say, yes, I would like to go back to Canterlot, but I think I'd prefer to keep this to myself.

"..."

>Unless you just want to keep me here on these nice beaches. I could use a vacation.

"..."

>If it's any consolation, I fully intend to burn every single one of these cards in my fire place.

Snap.

The cold wind assailed the changeling once more, alone in the winter with just his cards. With a heavy sigh, he resumed his trudging.

>I need a drink. Every drink.

Glaring at him from above, the Chaos God turned his gaze to the castle.

He'd get what he wanted, oh yes he would. Even if it took him to the end of time.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~

>So... how was your first Hearth Warming with your new group?

"Rmm."

>Rmm?

"Rmmm."

>...Rmm, then.

"..."

>...

"...We going to do it at our place next year?"

>...Sure. Why not?

"...Will probably be better next year."

>Yeah... I think it will.


_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"Granny Smith"
~~~~~

Sipping on Apple Eggnog wasn't really how she expected to be spending today... mostly because Apple Eggnog was terrible, and she just didn't have the heart in her to tell Granny it tasted like a sloth ran over applesauce as slowly as one would expect a sloth to do so.

With that in mind, one might wonder why she was doing it.

"Why in the great Apple stampede of old are ya'll standin' over here!?"

For instance.

>Just havin' a moment.

"Gal, ya'll got yer' whole dang crew all up in mah' house, and ya' need a moment?"

>...Yeah... Ah' do have mah whole crew here, don't Ah'?

The matriarch of the Apple family gave pause, her granddaughter's almost wistful tone dispelling most of the ever hot and loud fire in her.

Just watching her daughter's eyes trail around the room, drinking it all in, was plenty.

"Sure has grown since the last one, ain't it?"

>Yep. Sure has.

"It gonna get even bigger next year?"

>Dunno.

"Well, iffin' it does, ya' ain't gonna be able ta' fit 'em in mah house!"

>Maybe we'll make onna' them foot the bill next time.

"Now that's more like it! Hospitality is a two way street, hooee!"

>...It sure is different in here, ain't it?

"Pfft, ain't that surprisin'."

>Hmm?

"Sugar Cube, let me tell ya', when ya' get as old as me..."

A playful twinkle shined in her eye, and she took a much deeper gulp of her own drink.

"...Yer' used ta' yer' family gettin' bigger every year. You'll be shocked yer'self when its yer' turn."

>...Yep.

"Mmmhmm."

>...Happy Hearth Warmin', Granny.

"Every one with mah' family always is."

>Yeah...

It was almost over. It was almost time for them all to go home. So for now, she was just going to savor it.

>...It really is.

Terrible eggnog and all.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Spike"
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but the party doesn't stop! Now for our main guest...SPIKE!!!
Applause

"Hey hey hey."

Pinkie puts on a beard.
>Hi there little boy. What would you like for Hearth's Warming?

"...why are you wearing-"

>Doesn't the beard look good on me? Now answer.

"...I know, how about-"

>No.

"Why? I didn't even-"

>I know what it is and no. I'll feel like a pedophile. I'm not doing that. Well, that's the end of the show!

Spike wakes up.
"But my balls would be the envy of all."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________