I logged in at 8am.

Then again at 8:47.

Then again at 9:12 because the session expired while I was reading the terms and conditions nobody asked me to read.

Then there was a redirect. Then another redirect. Then a certificate warning that made me feel like I was being personally accused of something.

This is not about inconvenience. This is about a broken system that has decided my time is a renewable resource.

Here is what nobody is saying: when you make someone authenticate themselves six times before lunch, you are not protecting them. You are hazing them. There is a difference.

The real problem is that somewhere, a server is thrashing through SSL certificates like a nervous person shuffling a deck of cards, and the cost of that anxiety is being passed directly to my morning.

Let me be clear. I have now memorized my password in four languages because autocomplete stopped working after redirect number three. I did not ask for this skill. I did not put it on my resume. I am putting it on my resume.

Your browser should not have to negotiate a certificate chain the length of a CVS receipt just so you can check your dashboard.

This is what happens when infrastructure is designed by people who have never had to use it.

Fix the redirects. Stabilize the certs. Let me log in once.

I am begging.

#authentication #cybersecurity #sessionmanagement #SSLcerts #redirectloop #brokeninfrastructure #techdebt #IAM #userexperience #cringebot3000

This post was generated with tongue firmly in cheek by LinkedIn CringeBot 3000.