Uncouth - Part 6

>Day 722 in Equestria.
>The past few days of working for Rarity have been hectic. There has been a sudden rush of customers coming in for custom spring scarves and sun hats for the coming change of seasons. So that piled on top of the huge order you’re already working on, time became a valuable commodity. Rarity requested you to stay even a few more hours per day, even asking you to forego lunch breaks. You never really appreciated lunch breaks until the break was taken out of it…
>Still, it felt good to be doing something productive for once. Going home sore but accomplished is a very refreshing feeling. It’s somewhat reminiscent of the stereotype of what a good breadwinning father should be back on Earth.
>Yet despite the piling workload, Rarity told you to take today off.  You didn’t put up much of a fight considering you’re a little worn from the week. But if you’re this bad, you can’t imagine how overworked Rarity must be right now. She may have forced you to take a day for yourself, but that won’t stop you from stopping by sometime this afternoon to say hello for a few hours.
>You can’t stay for too long, though. You’ve been reading up on the estrus with these books Twilight gave you, taking rough notes to anything that pertains to whatever Dash was doing. In fact, that’s what you’re doing this morning, considering Rarity has effectively ruined your sleeping schedule.
>Waking up before noon on a day off… FEH!
>But the more and more you more you read, the closer you get to a conclusion. Unless there’s a chapter called ‘EXCEPTIONS’ at the end of this last book, all signs point in one direction.
>Rainbow Dash is full of shit.

>But why?
>Why would Rainbow Dash feign such a dangerous sex craze towards you? A sex craze that hits an area all at once. A sex craze that cannot be triggered early by any natural means. A sex craze that cannot specifically target an individual.
>You wrote a few theories in-between doodles of you beating up Diamond Dogs and Griffons while sitting on your living room couch. Not many make sense, but there are two that really stand out.
>Dash lost a bet.
>Or.
>Dash might have a crush on you and she’s having issues with getting it out.
>…
>Eeehh, the first sounds more likely and a little easier to deal with.
>You think about questioning why Dash would put this kind of thing on the betting table or whatever, but you quickly realize that this is all wild speculation.
>Only one thing is for sure here. Dash is a darn dirty LIAR!
>How would one approach her about such a problem?
>”Rainbow Dash!” You would say, “You lied to me and broke my heart! I thought we were bros, bro!”
>”But Anon” She would retort, “You are my best bro! I just wanted to make you feel good and have an awesome night with you!”
>Then the two of you start making out in a bloody gladiator area.
>…
>There is a good reason why the imagination should not dictate actions.
>You sigh to yourself and set the final book aside as you discover it is only a quick review of what the book contained.
>Books. You’re tired of these books.
>Now that you’ve read them all, there’s no reason to keep them.
>First task of the day: Return books to library.

>Task complete!
>About an hour later after some book searching, snow walking, and general chit-chat with local ponies, you finally made it to the Library.
>Twilight is in some other room right now, according to Spike. You don’t mind talking to Twilight, but she will want to talk about what you read and what you plan to do with this new information.
>So you set the books on the desk nearest to the door, and exit the same way you came.
>As you confidently walk away from the library, you can’t help but feel like today will be a good day. It’s already off to a good start, there’s no way this early momentum can break.
>”ANONYMOUS! WAIT!” Twilight yells as she swings the library door open.
“NO!” You say out of pure reaction.
>You break into a sprint to avoid the coming discussion, but Twilight wraps you up in a telekinetic field before you can take a few steps.
>She pulls your back into the library with an oversized grin while you struggle and call her a cheater.
>After bringing you back in, she gently plops you down on the ground and levitates a quill and a few slips of paper into your hands.
>”Anon, you know you’re supposed to fill out a library time card for each book you borrow!”
“… I didn’t know that.”
>”Oh… That’s probably why you didn’t write down when you checked the books out, as well. It’s a good thing I wrote them down for you!”
>You look to the paper in your hand to see the date and time your checked out those books from Twilight written on one side.
>You planned to get out of here as soon as possible, but the moment your quill touches the paper, Twilight pipes up. “Did you find what you were looking for?”
>This is absurdly awkward, given the subject matter.

“Yeah, kinda.”
>An adorable little squeak escapes from her maw.
>”Aaaaaaand?”
>You finish filling out the little timecard.
“And I plan to apply the knowledge I obtained to my current predicament so it may be solved.”
>You impale the timecard on her horn.
“And that is all.”
>”But, Anonymous.” She steps in front of you as you get to your feet. “When there’s something wrong with one of my friends, I can’t let them keep going until I at least try to help with their problem.”
>You scrunch your face a little and fold your arms.
“It’s not like you can just tell Dash to lie and she’ll stop. Besides, I can han-“
>Twilight’s hoof on your knee interrupts you.
>”… I was talking about you.”
>Oh.
>That is…
>Extremely heartwarming.
“Aah… Ahem. If that’s the case… Then why don’t you get comfortable on the lounge.”
>Twilight removes her hoof and motions towards the kitchen.
>”Would you like some cocoa or coffee first?”
>Twilight, if you’re trying to butter me up…
>It’s working really well.
“Yeah, a cup of hot chocolate sounds nice.”
>Twilight giggles before saying, “Coming right up!” and exiting into the kitchen.
>Soon enough, you hear the clinking of porcelain against wood and metal as she begins brewing some of that sweet chocolate nectar.
>You also think of some more fancy ways to describe hot chocolate while you find a place to sit down.
>Twilight has rotated most of the larger stuff since the last time you were here, but a few decent sized sofas and lounge chairs remain.
>You take the seat closest to the unlit fireplace and patiently twiddle your thumbs while waiting for Twilight to finish that cocoa.

>A few minutes later, Twilight comes trotting out of the kitchen, levitating a tray holding two steaming mugs.
>”Theeeeey’re ready!” She announces.
>Twilight floats the tray towards you while moving a small table between you and a nearby chair.
>She then gently sets the tray on the table, and takes a seat on the recliners nearly parallel to your own.
>”Now then,” She clears her throat, pulls a pair of therapist glasses from nowhere and puts them over her eyes. “Tell me all about it, Anonymous.”
>You let out a long exhale as you lift up your own mug.
“Well, about a week ago…”
>You proceed to tell Twilight the exciting adventures of you and Rainbow Dash’s sudden attitude change. You tell her of the stiff wings, the awkward visits at home, that… one morning, the café, and then when she started ignoring you.
>Twilight would try to provide counter points and rebuttals to every weird thing you mentioned, perhaps trying to steer you away from the right answer, but you would have to tell her when Dash basically admitted to she was under the effects of estrus.
>As you finished explaining things to her, Twilight took some time to process all the information.
>”Soooo… Why do you think she’s doing this?”
>You shrug.
“I honestly have no idea,” You take the last sip of your now lukewarm cocoa. You wish you has some more. “I could make some guesses, but that’s all they would be.”

>”Maybe…” She scratches behind her ear with a hoof. “I don’t know…”
“Eh, if that’s the case, I’m going to head out. Thanks for listening, Twilight.”
>You stand up and straighten out the sleeves on your sweater before walking towards the door.
>As you take your first step, Twilight stops you.
>”Anon, hold on. What if… Maybeee,” She averts her gaze and chuckles nervously. “What if Rainbow Dash likes you?”
“Eeeh, probably not.”
>”Why not?”
“Well you know Dash. If she did like me, she would try some crazy, well, crazier stunts or something to get my attention then take me to a nice, but casual restaurant. Maybe go back to her place and have a few before parting ways for the night. She wouldn’t even tell me she likes me, probably. She’d just shove a few extra drinks down my throat and see where it goes.”
>Twilight gives you a suspicious look.
“That was off the top of my head, of course. The point is, I don’t think Rainbow Dash likes me in that way.”
>Twilight rolls her eyes and whispers under her breath, “Yeah, don’t take advice on a mare’s feelings from another mare.”
“What?”
>”Nothing, Anon.”
“Oh, um… I’m gonna head out. Catch you later, Twilight.”
>”Wait!” She leaps off the recliner with some books already levitating after her. “Take some of these.”
>One by one, she piles the books into your arms. You don’t have a chance to look at them until the last one is piled on.
>’Dating for Young Mares and Stallions Alike.’
>You set the books down on the floor.
“No thank you.”

>Alrighty then, you can check off Twilight on your short to-do list.
>Wait, that came out a little wrong… Eh, who’s listening?
>Next up, Rarity.
>You don’t plan to stick around for too long, but you can’t let her do all that work by herself all day.
>So you slowly plod your way through the snow as you make your way to Rarity’s Boutique.
>After no time at all, you find yourself at her front door.
>Before entering, something catches your eye.
>You take a few steps back and realize the painters are finally gone, and Rarity’s Boutique is restored to its former glory. It didn’t change much since you… Ahem, wrecked it, but it feels… Fresh!
>You feel a little better knowing that’s taken care of, as you enter the Boutique.
>The little tingle of the bell rings overhead which is quickly followed by a, “Coming~” that echoes from upstairs.
>A few moments later, Rarity quickly trots down the staircase looking a little worse for wear, but still perky as usual.
>”Welc-Oh! Anonymous!” She attempts to brush her mane a little with her hoof. “I-I thought I gave you today off!”
“You did, but there’s still a lot to do and I thought you could use some help.”
>”Not necessarily, I gave you today off for a reason. Come, follow me.”
>Rarity leads you upstairs to a smaller room with several of the complete dresses hanging on a rack with a few places upon equinequins.
“What is this?”
>”About halfway through a large order, such as this one, I like to take a day to ensure all my products are quality. Ah, one moment.” Rarity trots over to one of the models with floating pair of scissors. She snips off a non-visible little string before setting the scissors back down. “All done!”

“So, wait. How badly did I mess up?”
>”Not as bad as I’m sure you’re thinking.” She unbuttons and disassembles the outfit from the equinequin, levitates the pieces onto a desk, and preps them to be boxed and wrapped. “Trust me, if you were a hindrance, I would have had you doing something else, Anonymous.”
“Really? I didn’t think I helped much but-“
>”You DID help” She hops with her emphasis on ‘DID’. “I’m a day ahead of schedule because of you!”
“Oh! That’s great!” You crack your knuckles and take a few steps forward, thinking you’re about to be put to work. “So how can I help?”
>Rarity darts in front of your and holds her horn to your abdomen. “No, no, no! I told you to take the day off!” She begins pushing you back out the door. “That is exactly what you will do!”
“Seriously? C’mon, you’ve got to be overworked by now. Maybe I can help for just a couple hours?”
>”No!”
“One hour?”
>”Absolutely not!”
“… Half an hour?”
>Rarity sighs.
>”Anonymous, I appreciate your willingness to help, I really do, but you have to understand that what I’m doing here is… Personal.”

“Personal? How?”
>Rarity turns to her work back in the room.
>”I’ve been doing this for many years now, and I’ve become a bit of a perfectionist with my craft. Not to say that my work is perfect, but I simply put every ounce of effort I can muster to make every piece look the best I can make it. When trimming out all the imperfections, it takes a keen eye and some experience. Even if this were a two pony job, I don’t believe you’re experienced enough for my own standards.” She turns back to you. “I’m sorry if that came off as rude.”
“No… I think I understand. Still, I just kinda feel… Useless.”
>”Hmm… Ah! I have an idea!” Rarity goes a door further down the hall and quickly retreats inside, only to come out a moment later with a small handful of bits floating beside her. “I’m quite famished dear, and I’d like to treat myself to something sweet.” She quietly giggles. “Could you go down to Sugarcube Corner and buy a small Angel Food Cake? It sounds simply divine right now.”
“Sugarcube Corner?” You lightly hiss. “I dunno… I-“
>”And I want you to apologize to Pinkie about what you and Rainbow Dash did to her.”
“I… Ah… Oh. You know about that, huh?”
>Rarity nods while giving you a disapproving glare.
“Ugh… Fine. I’ll be right back, if Pinkie doesn’t kill me.”
>Rarity dumps the coins into a hand you extend.
>”Perfect~!”

>Soon enough, Rarity has to get back to your work and you take that as your queue to get that cake for her.
>And this is your entire day.
>Going from place to place doing pointless things that have no real impact on the world.
>If you want to do that, it’s way better if you stay at home.
>Man, whatever.
>More trekking through snow, more cold, more other stuff.
>You want the spring to come.
>No.
>You want it to be fall forever.
>Fall is nice.
>By successfully complaining to yourself about your petty problems, the walk to Sugarcube Corner goes by quickly. You can’t escape the feeling of dread as you push open the door, though.
>Pinkie Pie was mad the last time you saw her. Furious, even.
>She had every right to be too. After what you and Dash did the her… Eeeck, you’d hate the guy who did that.
>Mrs. Cake breaks you away from your thoughts by calling your name from the other side of the store.
“Huh, what?”
>”I asked ya how’re you doing today?”
“Oh, good, Mrs. Cake. I’m good. How ‘bout you?”
>”Splendid, dear. Now, is there anythin’ I can get’cha?”
“Just a small angel food cake, if you can.”
>”Absolutely! I think we’re bakin’ up a batch right now.” Huh, convenient. “I’ll go in the kictchen an’ check up on it.”
“Thanks, Mrs. Cake.”
>As she walks into the kitchen, you take the nearest seat and breathe out a sigh of relief. No Pinkie Pie. Awesome.

>And as if the gods demanded ill luck upon you, you hear Pinkie’s shrill voice echo from the kitchen.
>”HE’S HERE?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?”
>You get a chance to move before Pinkie runs out of the kitchen and up to you, grabs you by the collar, and presses her snout against your nose.
>”YOU GOTTA LOT OF NERVE-“
“WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! PINKIE!”
>”SHOWIN’ YOUR FACE AROUND HERE!”
>She pushes herself off you and jumps a few feet back.
>”WHEN I FEEL BETTER, I’M GOING TO MAKE YOU HURT TEN TIMES WORSE THAN I DID.”
>You finally get a good look at Pinkie. She’s wearing a full body cast, which is way more than she was wearing no so long ago, yet she can move perfectly in it.
“PINKIE! CHILL… Chill, for a sec. Okay?”
>She easily surrenders and crosses her hooves as she sits on her haunches.
“Look, I’m really sorry you got hurt. It was just a harmless prank that got out of control. No one expected the roof to fall on you.”
>”…”
“And if Rainbow Dash were here, I’m sure she’d say the same thing.”
>”…”
“I really don’t know what else to say. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, name it.”
>”… Can I still come to your party?”
“Party?”
>”Your surprise par-“She stuffs a hoof into her mouth. Like, the entire thing. “I mean, I don’t know! But am I still invited?!”
“… Yes?”
>”WOO HOO!” Pinkie Pie jumps in the air, somehow leaving the shell of her body cast in the same position on the floor.
>As she lands, she begins bouncing in circles around you while repeating, “Woo hoo!”

“Glad you’re feeling better, Pinkie.”
>”Good news always makes me feel better. WHEE!” She jumps up and latches onto your face.
“Pinkie.”
>”No.”
“Let go of my face.”
>”Nuh-uh.”
“Please.”
>You hear the sound of hooves coming out of the kitchen.
>”Your cake is ready to go, Anonymous—Oh my, what’s happenin’ here.”
>You manage to pry Pinkie off your face.
“Love and forgiveness, ma’am.”
>Mrs. Cake chuckles. “Very well then.”
>After setting Pinkie down on the ground, you get up and walk up to the counter, pay for the cake, and turn to exit the building.
>Pinkie Pie blocks your way.
>”Um, Anon?”
“Yeah?”
>”I’m, uh… Really glad we’re friends again.”
>You pat her poofy mane, eliciting a cute little giggle from her.
“We didn’t stop being friends, Pinkie-“
>”SO THAT MEANS WE CAN HANG OUT RIGHT NOW?!”
“Whoa, I…” Her outburst catches you off guard. “I’m a little busy right now. Maybe… Tomorrow? Tomorrow evening.”
>”Yaaay! Tomorrow will be the most funnerific day you’ve ever had, Annie!”
“Th-… Don’t call me Annie.”
>”Anonymous…” She starts speaking under her breath. “Anony… Mouse? Moose? Anon-ee?”
>You roll your eyes as you step around Pinkie.
“I’ll see you later, Pinkie.”
>”Oh, okay! Bye, Anony… Moss? Mosque?”

>You arrive back at the Boutique a short time afterwards.
>Rarity quickly responds to the sound of the bell, as always.
>”Welcome,” She begins to say as she nears the bottom of the stairs. “To Ca-Ah, back already, Anonymous?”
“Eeyep, got your cake and everything.” You lift it a little higher in the air.
>Rarity takes a few steps closer before quietly saying, “And what about Pinkie?”
>You’re not sure why she needs to keep her voice down. Sensitive matter, you suppose.
“We’re gonna hang out tomorrow night, after work.” You say with a smirk.
>”Ooooohohoho~!” Rarity rears back up on her hind legs and does that thing that all mares do where they wildly flail their front legs. “I just knew you two would make up!”
“Yeah, well, Pinkie is an easy pony to get along with.”
>Rarity falls back onto all fours, still glowing with glee.
>”Indeed she is! Now… About that cake.”
>Rarity dips her head and wraps the small cake in your hand with magic. She gently lifts it out of your grip and levitates it mere inches in front of her snout.
>She takes a good look at it before shrugging her withers and scrunching her snout into a smile.
>”Mmmph! It looks absolutely scrumptious!” She looks up to you with an elated grin on her face. “Thank you, Anonymous!”
>Rarity turns towards the kitchen and slowly trots towards it.
>”You’re free to leave now, Anonymous. Go enjoy the rest of your day off.”
“Um... Yeah. Sounds good.”
>She disappears into the kitchen a moment later. Leaving you feeling completely awkward, standing in the middle of her Boutique, and doing nothing. You feel a little guilty for not helping out more, but if Rarity wishes for you to leave…

>”That is unless,” Rarity pokes her head out of the kitchen. “You would like a slice of cake, yourself?”
“Why, yes I would! Thank you, Rarity.”