Pre-SGDQ Advice

With SGDQ 2016's games list out, time for some advice from an "oldboi" (Does a person count as an "oldboi" if they haven't run a game at a GDQ in over 3 years? Or if they're outright retired from active speedrunning?), which you can take or leave as appropriate.

First off, props to the GDQ staff for accomplishing something once thought impossible and actually getting the games list out when they said they would. Based on past experience, I didn't think it would happen, but I was wrong, and I'm glad to be wrong. But while I'm happy to eat crow on that, it's not really the point of this Pastebin.

So the list is out. Maybe your submission got accepted. That's awesome! I've been there, and it feels great. Be proud! Of course, make sure you practice your game--but more than that, just have fun with the whole experience. Despite what a portion of the GDQ-watching populace would have you believe (And with apologies to those who have become memes in the bad way as a result of GDQ runs), you have to screw up pretty darn badly for people to remember it for more than the duration of your run. Also, your perception of how bad a run was probably doesn't match the reality. As an example, the run Mrs. Emptyeye and I did of New Super Mario Bros. Wii for AGDQ2013 was generally positively received, including (So I'm told) from some circles who traditionally frown on such things. And eight hours after that run, I was in tears at how bad I thought it had gone. My point is 1. I'm a crybaby and 2. Your run isn't as awful as you think it is.

Maybe your submissions got rejected. Sorry about that. I've been there too, and it sucks. Feel free to vent about it, even publicly (I note that the people who tend to take the hardest line about "Don't bitch if your game gets rejected." also tend to be the people who very rarely get rejected). But remember that there isn't a conspiracy to keep you and you alone from showing off your game at a GDQ. There are way more submissions than there can possibly be slots given to runs, and plenty of great stuff gets rejected each marathon, for numerous reasons. If it helps, think of GDQs less as "Speedrunning events that happen to be for charity" and more as "Charity events that happen to primarily use speedrunning to raise money". Hopefully you don't take it personally, and try again next GDQ.

But neither of those are the reason I'm writing this either. No, if I have a point to this particular Pastebin, it's this:

Runners and Attendees, for fuck's sake, don't threaten a GDQ or someone attending it, even jokingly.

There are a bunch of reasons for this. One is that I'm confident the intersection of "Prospective GDQ attendees" and "People with the comedic chops to actually land a joke about bomb/death/whatever threats" is, if not nonexistent, vanishingly small. But the larger reason is that, regardless of how I think joking threats should be dealt with (Essentially "I'll think you're an idiot, but I don't necessarily think you should be banned from the event"--serious threats are a whole other matter, of course, and I acknowledge it's easier and probably safer in the long run to just throw all "threats" into the "presume it's serious" pile and do as they will from there), the GDQ staff has pretty clearly set the precedent for that sort of thing at "If you threaten the event of its attendees, even jokingly, and we find out about it, you're gone." And given that there are people who will make sure GDQ staff find out about any threats that get made (Whether out of genuine concern for the event or not), if you do make a joking threat, you can't really be shocked anymore at the consequences of that.

And...that's about it.