Yeah, I'm losing my edge
I'm losing my edge
The kids are coming up from behind
I'm losing my edge
I'm losing my edge to the kids from TV3 and from V8
But I was there

I was there in 2010
I was there for the first death in BRAURP
I'm losing my edge
I'm losing my edge to the handlers whose characters I fear when they enter my threads
I'm losing my edge to the wiki readers who can tell me every handler in every good thread from 2005 to 2019
I'm losing my edge

To all the kids with eboys and enthusiasm
I'm losing my edge to the art-school cybergoths in little jackets and borrowed nostalgia for the unremembered early versions

But I'm losing my edge
I'm losing my edge, but I was there
I was there
But I was there

I'm losing my edge
I'm losing my edge
I feel fear when they enter my threads
But I was there
I was there in 2006 when we stole this whole website from a 13-year old on the internet
I was killing v1's inactives with much patience
I was there when Adam Dodd won his first version
I told him, "Don't do it that way. You'll never beat Jack O'Connor."
I was there
I was the first guy deconstructing SIs and archetypes
I wrote so many songposts
Everybody thought I was crazy
We all know
I was there
I was there

I've never been wrong
I used to read threads that weren't my own
I read everything before anyone
I was there when Jerry got hit by a jeep
I was there in v4 when Remi Pierce exploded like an idiot
I woke up naked on the beach for v7 in 2019

But I'm losing my edge
To better-writing people
With different priorities and new talents
And they're actually really, really nice

I'm losing my edge

I heard you have a compilation of every good post ever done by anybody. Every great post by the Clout Gang. All the minimalist hits. All the v5 escape group threads. I heard you have a gdoc of every Hansel Williams thread in Comic Sans. I heard that you have a board signature with every seminal postmodernist hit - SC2, v7, TV3. I heard that you have a on-paper compilation of every good V3 death and another death set from the Programverse

I hear you're planning a deconstruction of your own character and are writing a seventeen-page multishot and are throwing your computer out the window because you want to make something real. You want to make a Toben character

I hear that you and your friend have adopted off your low-concept kids and made high-concept kids
I hear that you and your friend have adopted off your high-concept kids and made low-concept kids

I hear everybody that you wrote is more relevant than everybody that I know

But have you seen my favourite characters? Jewel Evans, M Frog, David Jackson, Jake Driggers, Mariavel Varella, Jacob Starr, Shameeca Mitchell, Lori Martin, Remi Pierce, Richard Ormsby (Second Chances), Andy Warhol, Sven Vee, M Frog, Zona Butler, The Rat King, Kermit the Frog, Elizabeth Ebert, Ivye Dewley, Avocado, Beryl Mahelona, Timothy Torales, Beats, Bryan Calvert, Liz Polanski, Clemencielaialleieulleeux Marie de la Bonbons, Robert Herrmann, Blaine Eno, GinghamGirl, juul_evans, Leah Hemingway, Violet Schmidt, Luanne G and Noreen, Ivan, Joshua Goodman, Diego Larrosa (i hate trains!), Abel #2, Valerija Bogdanovic, Garry Dodd, Marnie Yaguchi, Janet! Victoree! Ser!, Abel #1, this is not an actual real list of my favourite characters, Ninja Joe, Fisk Bateman and The Body Pillows, Kouji's soup, the Poison Angles, Shirohara-san, Michael Sekoler, Michael Sekoler, Michael Sekoler

I'm not sure what I really want
I'm not sure what I really want
I'm not sure what I really want
I'm not sure what I really want
I'm not sure what I really want
I'm not sure what I really want
I'm not sure what I really want
I'm not sure what I really want
I'm not sure what I really want
I'm not sure what I really want
I'm not sure what I really want
I'm not sure what I really want
I'm not sure what I really want
I'm not sure what I really want
I'm not sure what I really want
(Okay, stop)