Hong Kong

1/6
>Westerner working the markets in Hong Kong.
>Kowloon to be exact, but that's not important.
>Deal in exotic fluffy pony products.
>Chinese guys believe fluffy unicorn horn can make them hard.
>The Chinese government in Beijing forbids the import of fluffy ponies.
>They're not dumb; they've seen what's happened in other countries.
>Dozens of traders import powdered fluffy horn.
>Chinese guys pay extra for yours.
>Because it's fresh.

>Keep illegal fluffies in cages.
>Bribe local officials to look the other way.
>It's serious business.
>You only keep 12 breeding mares.
>Two stud stallions.
>All unicorns.
>Their product is foals.
>As soon as the foals are old enough to survive, you sterilize them.
>If these things escaped and went feral there'd be a breeding population in months.
>You and every official you bribed would go to Chinese prison.
>Lots of corrupt officials are counting on you to be super-careful.

>Today a batch of foals is ready.
>They've been in the cages with their mothers for the first two weeks.
>No reason to let them out.
>In fact that would be really dangerous.
>This is their first time out of the cage.
>A very important lesson begins today.
>Every time you leave the cage something bad happens.

2/6
>Pull a squirming unicorn foal off its mother's belly.
>Kicks little legs and cries.
>"Nuuu! Wan' mummy! Wan' mummy!"
>The mothers don't fight it anymore.
>They did at first, but now they're resigned to this.
>They just sigh sadly the first time their babies are taken.
>Part this foal's fluff.
>It's a filly.
>Sometimes, when a breeding mare is old a new filly takes her place.
>Not today...you don't need any new breeders.
>Conventional spaying takes too long.
>You use chemicals.
>Keep them super-cooled in special freezer.
>Pet filly a few times to calm her down.
>She's still whimpering and squirming.
>Never been handled by a human before.
"Easy girl...this'll be over soon and you can go back to momma."
>"Wan' momma now! Pwease wet fwuffy go!"
>Set unicorn foal down in a leg isolation board.
>It's fairly simple...4 holes drilled in a board.
>Legs go through.
>No fluffy pony can lift its legs high enough to escape.
>Leather strap over the top to keep her immobile.
>Pull chemical swab out of the freezer.
>Part the posterior fluff again.
>"Whaaaa! Dun huwt fwuffy!"
>Be very careful.
>These frozen chemicals can burn your fingers if you touch them.
>Jam frozen swab up fluffy vag.
>Fluffy foal screams in shock and pain.
>Tiny legs flail uselessly.
>She can't escape the board.
>Force swab around in all directions.
>Super cold and harsh chemicals burn fluffy filly cervix.
>Scar tissue will form.
>Tunnel to uterus will be sealed.
>Mating and foaling is now impossible.
>Give the sobbing foal a treat before she goes back in the cage.
>Pick out a male next.

3/6
>Next foal is a male.
>You never keep males as breeders.
>When you need a new unicorn stud it gets smuggled in.
>Keeps the gene pool from getting too shallow.
>Fluffy stallion foal is strapped down in a brace.
>Fluffy on its back, two side boards prevent wiggling.
>Chin strap holds head.
>This foal isn't as afraid.
>"Pwease pway, Mista? New fwiend?"
"Sure...let's play the hold still game."
>Use an oversized nail clipper.
>Part crotch fluff.
"Wha? Why touch pee-pee? Dun wike game!"
>Slip clippers over scrotum, squeeze sharply.
>Fluffy foal screams. "Owwwiiieee! Huwt! Huwt! Pwease Mista stop!"
>Sorry...you're not done yet.
>Place clippers over tiny fluffy weiner.
>Clip again.
>You'll see why later.
>Fluffy gelding is now bawling and sobbing.
>Chemically cauterize area with frozen swab.
>Sobbing fluffy gets his treat before he goes back to the cage.
>He seems more interested in licking his wounded crotch.

4/6
>Off to market.
>Fill a few cages with grown fluffy unicorns.
>Get day laborers to help carry cages.
>Mostly opium heads...they work cheap.
>Set up in your shop.
>Don't have to wait long for customers.
>Fat guy with erectile dysfunction wants fresh horn.
>Let him pick his unicorn.
>These guys always want a male.
>They think males give them longer erections.
>He can't tell males from females because none have weiners.
>See why you cut the penis off now?
>Otherwise there would be less demand for females.
>Finally picks one.
>White unicorn fluffy mare with green mane.
>It's seen what happens.
>Tries to scramble away from your hand.
>No escape, cage is too crowded.
>Other fluffies even push unlucky victim to you.
>Better her than us.
>Fluffy pony is in total panic.
>"Nuuuu! Pwease no huwt! Pwease wet fwuffy go!"
>Thrashing to escape...not gonna happen.
>Strap her down to a back-board like you used to geld the males.
>Bigger for adults.
>Chin strap holds head steady.
>Line up hacksaw.  Hacksaw works best.
>Horn removal is the most painful thing a fluffy can suffer and survive.
>Horn is packed with nerve endings.
>Fluffy unicorn is whimpering and crying before the saw even touches her.
>Begin sawing.
>Fluffy is in unimaginable agony.
>She can't even talk anymore, just scream.
>You've done leg amputations...that's like a spa visit compared to this.
>Customer watches with apathy.
>He's only interested in his boner powder anyway.

5/6
>Horn comes off.
>Very little blood...good.
>Weigh horn.
>Almost 4 and a quarter ounces.  120 grams.
>Give him the prices; $850 US/ ¥5,372 Yuan.
>Buyer nods...pays you.
>Unstrap fluffy.
>She's still moaning in agony.
>Rolls around on the counter, trying to rub her bleeding horn-stump.
>Offer her a treat...they never take it.
>Still in too much pain.
>Business continues.
>Most customers want a whole horn.
>You can grind it to powder right there in your shop if they like.
>Most customers take it home to dry a few days before grinding.
>Your customers are high-end.
>Pay big bucks for flim-flam erectile dysfuction cures.
>Cheapskates usually buy imported fluffy horn powder.
>That shit's not as fresh.
>Half the time it's fake.
>Ground up goat & cow horns.
>Sometimes you get a cheapskate.
>Can't afford a whole horn.
>Still want fresh fluffy.
>All customers are welcome.
>For them you have a special donor.
>Pull him out of his cage.
>"Whaaa! Nu...nu...nu huwt f-fwuffy mowe!"
>Hold him tight on a plastic sheet.
>Need help from one of your opium heads to keep him still.
>Fluffy knows how much this hurts.
>Drill into his horn.
>Fluffy unicorn screams in agony and tries to thrash.
>It's not very effective.
>Collect horn powder from plastic sheet.
>Customer nods...that's all he can afford.
>Weigh it out; ¥411 Yuan.  Poorfags never have US dollars.
>Put whimpering unicorn back in his cage.
>Still a lot of good horn on him.
>He's gonna get drilled a few more times before he's finished.

6/6
>Profit does not end with the horn.
>De-horned fluffy unicorns are still useful.
>Plenty of fluffy organs have value.
>Gall bladder supposedly cures fever.
>Liver is used in cooking.
>Feet are shaved off with a cheese grater to cure arthritis.
>There's plenty of fluffies to use for this.
>Pluck one out of the "used" bin, slice it open.
>Customer points out organs they want.
>It's nice that fluffies get to remain useful.
>It's all bullshit...you know this.
>But tiger poaching has fallen 75% since fluffy horn came into vouge.
>Rhino horn is no longer in demand.
>Bears are no longer killed for their gall bladders.
>Fluffy ponies are helping save endangered species.
>At the end of the day, much profit has been made.
>One final stop for fluffies.
>Opium heads take butchered ones and de-horned fluffies down to the waterfront.
>Fishermen buy them.
>They'll be bait tomorrow morning.
>Your opium heads carry unused fluffies back to the breeding house.
>They get to live for another day.
>Fill the feeding troughs...clean out the shit.
>Check on the pregnant mares...put the two stallions in to mate.
>All done for the day.
>Head over to Happy Valley horse race track.
>Bet on a few races.
>Sip imported gin with locals and ex-pats.
>Excellent dinner.
>Fuck yeah, Hong Kong.
>All thanks to fluffy unicorns.