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- (Note: oneshot written under the premise of 'anon experiences time slower than ponies')
- >You are Anonymous.
- >And you are starting to feel tired after a long day of experiencing life in Ponyville.
- "Hey Twilight, is there someplace I can take a nap at?"
- >"W-What?"
- "You know, a nap. It seems like you ponies can barely go five minutes without one."
- >Her expression becomes rather sheepish.
- >"Oh, right. Sorry. You've been awake long enough it didn't even occur to me that you might need to sleep too."
- "It's no big deal. So anyway, is there somewhere?"
- >"Of course! It probably needs a bit of dusting, but there's a guest room in the library."
- >A short travel and cleaning montage later, and you've got a nice cozy too small bed waiting for you.
- >You waste no time in getting more or less comfortable, and before long, you're snoozing away.
- >Your dreams start out simple enough, but then they take a turn for the lewd.
- >Dream you is currently engaging in some heavy tongue wrestling with that stallion from the marketplace.
- >You couldn't recall what his name was, but man he had looked so cute, and the apples he sold you weren't bad either.
- >He was clearly ready to get started on the main event, so you grab his haunches and steer his butt towards your dick.
- >There's some resistance at first, but he finally sits down on your lap, soaking your crotch with the juices from his--
- >...Hold up a second, when you were eyeballing this guy earlier, he was very clearly male, why does dream him have lady parts?
- >Opening your eyes, you find yourself locking lips with a surprised looking blue unicorn.
- >Her surprise quickly changes to triumph, and she breaks away from the kiss, panting a bit before adressing the crowd you are beginning to notice around you.
- >"Behold, citizens of Ponyville! Not even true love itself is beyond the awesome powers of the Great and Powerful Trixie!"
- >OK, what the FUCK is this shit.
- >You start rolling to get out of bed, dislodging the mare that was molesting you in your sleep.
- >Rather than falling to the floor, however, she collides with... the side of a glass coffin?
- >"Anonymous!"
- >The familiar voice of Twilight Sparkle catches your attention.
- "Twilight, why am I in a glass coffin and why was this random mare kissing me in my sleep?"
- >"When you wouldn't wake up, I was so worried. My research into your condition suggested that true love's first kiss would be able to wake you."
- "So, what, you've just been letting random mares kiss me all this time?"
- >She gets that sheepish look again, this time accompanied by some blushing.
- >"N-not at first."
- "Oh god, you tried kissing me yourself first, didn't you?"
- >Twilight can't manage a verbal response, but the sudden intensification of her blush and teleportation says it all.
- >Wonderful.
- >"You should be more careful, the Great and Powerful Trixie could have gotten hurt!"
- >That blue pony finally managed to right herself after bonking her head on the coffin, and you notice she's got a stereotypical wizard hat with a matching cape.
- "Yeah that's nice. So you're some kind of wizard then? Can you do illusions?
- >"Of course Trixie can!"
- "Do you do anal?"
- >Trixie begins her response before her brain fully processes the question.
- >"Of course Trixie--wait, what?"
- "Close enough. You are officially plan B. Help me hook up with this cute stallion I met in town and I'll let you watch."
- >It doesn't take her long to decide.
- >"...Trixie agrees to your terms."
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