Hab and Mark go to Turtle Burger

HabeusKaiju is filing some taxes in his office
<HabeusKaiju>: I don't knwo how to do these.....
<HabeusKaiju>: I should have hired someone....
Wrong_Way suddenly appears in Habeus' office with a box full of glitter.
<Wrong_Way>: "hehe-..."
<HabeusKaiju>: ...
<HabeusKaiju>: Mark
Wrong_Way hides the box behind himself
<HabeusKaiju>: Don't throw that glitter in here
<HabeusKaiju>: Do you know how hard it is to wash scales?
<Wrong_Way>: "How would you know that?"
<HabeusKaiju>: ....
HabeusKaiju looks out the window, recollecting the time he and Chad went to a strip joint, and got covered in a flurry of glitter
<HabeusKaiju>: I once tripped in a craft store
<Wrong_Way>: "Oh. That makes sense."
HabeusKaiju turns back around
<HabeusKaiju>: So, wassup?
<Wrong_Way>: "Nothing much, what's that you're doing?"
<HabeusKaiju>: Digging my own grave....
<Wrong_Way>: "Oh, can I help?"
<HabeusKaiju>: Nah, ya haven't gone to accounting school yet
<Wrong_Way>: "Wait, are you burying yourself in giant size or this size?"
<Wrong_Way>: "OOHhh, it's that tax season thing."
HabeusKaiju looks at his papers, and tossers them into a drawer
<Wrong_Way>: "Maybe you should ask that Garnier dude to help you."
<HabeusKaiju>: I'll just get my accountant to do it
<HabeusKaiju>: Jack Marsh, nice guy, haven't seen him in a while though....
<Wrong_Way>: "Oh, where does he live? I can give you a reality warp there."
<HabeusKaiju>: So, wanna do something?
<HabeusKaiju>: Nah, it's mostly online, and boring
<HabeusKaiju>: Let's do something
<HabeusKaiju>: I mean, I just had a session with that headless kid, and believe me, it makes me consiuder putting time limits on these things, ya know?
HabeusKaiju stands up, and heads to his door
<Wrong_Way>: "I guess so, maybe you can get one of those cooking timers?"
<HabeusKaiju>: Dude, I'm kidding
<HabeusKaiju>: I love talking to you kids
<HabeusKaiju>: Shall we ride then?
<Wrong_Way>: "Oh jeez, it's been a while since I've gotten a ride anywhere. Sure!"
<HabeusKaiju>: Alright, and hey
HabeusKaiju tosses Wrong_Way a helmet
<HabeusKaiju>: You wanna drive?
Wrong_Way almost lets the helmet pass him by that offer
<Wrong_Way>: "U-uh. R-really? I mean, I've never drove a vespa before..."
<HabeusKaiju>: Hey, you ride a bike before?
<HabeusKaiju>: It's like that, but with not pedalling
<Wrong_Way>: "...If you told me this earlier, I would've taken your vespa SO many times before."
<HabeusKaiju>: You have before...
<Wrong_Way>: "I have? Huh, must've not been as cool as I thought."
<HabeusKaiju>: Woah, hey there, you just have't ridden it with the partymaster himself!
<HabeusKaiju>: Let's go for some one on one training, alright?
<Wrong_Way>: "Training? Like how to turn into a giant monster and own property on the beach?"
<Wrong_Way>: "I'll beat you there."
Wrong_Way gets out the door before HabeusKaiju does with the helmet in tow, leaving the box of glitter behind.
<HabeusKaiju>: Hey, one, the term is kaiju, two, my beach front property is em-HEY!
HabeusKaiju charges after Wrong_Way, sliding into a locker, and denting it
<HabeusKaiju>: I GOT TA UNLOCK IT FIRST!
Wrong_Way doesn't hear him and is already at the parking lot trying to catch his breath.
HabeusKaiju burst out of the door, and charges towards Wrong_Way
<HabeusKaiju>: GET AWAY FROM MY BIKE!
<HabeusKaiju>: RAAAAAARGH
Wrong_Way raises his hand up as he's getting his breath back
<Wrong_Way>: "Cool down...Theo..."
<HabeusKaiju>: Oh, sorry
HabeusKaiju stops in his tracks
<HabeusKaiju>: I am calm
<Wrong_Way>: "You're crazy sometimes...you know?"
HabeusKaiju unlocks the chain on the bike
Wrong_Way puts on the helmet.
<HabeusKaiju>: Yeah, but hey, it comes with the powers
<HabeusKaiju>: Lawyers are sort of out there, ya know
HabeusKaiju chuckles, and pops on his modified helmet
<Wrong_Way>: "Alright...you sure you want me to drive?"
<HabeusKaiju>: Hey, does Batman let Robin drive the Batmobile?
<Wrong_Way>: "No."
<HabeusKaiju>: ...
<HabeusKaiju>: He doesn't?
<Wrong_Way>: "Isn't robin like, 8 or something? Why would be driving the batmobile?"
<HabeusKaiju>: I think he lets Alfred, but....you're too young to be Alfred...
<HabeusKaiju>: Hmm...
<HabeusKaiju>: Oh, does the Green Hornet let Kaito Drive the....whatever he drives?
<Wrong_Way>: "I don't know who that is."
<HabeusKaiju>: of course ya don't....
HabeusKaiju mutters
<HabeusKaiju>: Listen, let's head out, alright?
<Wrong_Way>: "Alright then man."
HabeusKaiju motions to the Moped
<HabeusKaiju>: and, it's a moped, Mark
<HabeusKaiju>: Vespa sounds girly
<Wrong_Way>: "Moped, vespa, whatever."
<Wrong_Way>: "Potato, potato."
<HabeusKaiju>: It's a necessary lesson, kid
<HabeusKaiju>: Now, hop on Kaito
HabeusKaiju taps his foot
<HabeusKaiju>: You know, you need to be on it to ride it, right?
<Wrong_Way>: "I know, I know!"
<Wrong_Way>: "I just gotta...get in the driving task mode."
<HabeusKaiju>: dude...
<HabeusKaiju>: It's a moped
Wrong_Way seems to be concentrating hard at looking at the vespa- i mean moped
<HabeusKaiju>: you don't even need a license for these
<Wrong_Way>: "Dude, you're messing up my mojo."
<HabeusKaiju>: Right, sorry
HabeusKaiju rest against a wall, whistling
<Wrong_Way>: "...I think I got it."
Wrong_Way hops onto the moped, ready
HabeusKaiju hops on the back, as it creaks under his weight
<Wrong_Way>: "Uh you sure you're fine back there?"
<HabeusKaiju>: Now, remember, adjust the mirror, put the throttle onto 1, put on your seatbelt, and most importantly
HabeusKaiju presses on a button
<HabeusKaiju>: *beep* *beep*
<HabeusKaiju>: Test the horn
<Wrong_Way>: "Maybe I should start the thing first before driving it?"
Wrong_Way points to the lack of keys in the ignition
<HabeusKaiju>: Well...
<HabeusKaiju>: Yes...
HabeusKaiju drops the keys on the ground beside Wrong_Way
<HabeusKaiju>: Maybe you should pick up the keys you dropped, butterfingers
<Wrong_Way>: "..."
Wrong_Way grumbles and picks up the keys
Wrong_Way starts the engine
<Wrong_Way>: "Where are we going anyways?"
<HabeusKaiju>: You're in control
<HabeusKaiju>: you choose
Wrong_Way adjusts the mirrors
<Wrong_Way>: "Fine. Uh, Turtle Burger fine?"
Wrong_Way adjusts his seatbelt and sets the throttle into 1
<HabeusKaiju>: Well, yes, but...
<HabeusKaiju>: Mopeds don't have seatbelts...
<HabeusKaiju>: I was joking about that
<Wrong_Way>: [thanks]
<HabeusKaiju>: YER WELCOME]
<HabeusKaiju>: ]
<HabeusKaiju>: How...did you do that?
Wrong_Way shrigs
<HabeusKaiju>: ...
HabeusKaiju shrigs
<HabeusKaiju>: To turtle Burger!
Wrong_Way pulls out of the school parking lot and drives to turtle burger.
HabeusKaiju rides off to Turtle Burger
<HabeusKaiju>: Alright, remember to park right, and, if ya see a girl you like, honk the horn
<HabeusKaiju>: Chicks dig the horn
Wrong_Way is focused on the driving task to notice attractive pedestrians. All pedestrians look the same under the eyes of the LAW.
Wrong_Way pulls into the turtle burger parking lots and parks their vehicle.
Wrong_Way slowly takes off his helmet all slowmo.
HabeusKaiju gets off before Wrong_Way can clumsily knock him off
<HabeusKaiju>: ...
<HabeusKaiju>: you okay?
<Wrong_Way>: "Hm? Oh I was in driving mode, that's why I did that helmet thing all slow and I was super silent and stuff."
<HabeusKaiju>: OH, alright
<HabeusKaiju>: Cause, I think I saw Frankie making eyes at ya on the street
<Wrong_Way>: "F-FRANKIE WAS THERE?"
<HabeusKaiju>: Yeeeeeeeeeep
<Wrong_Way>: "OH GOD THEO, WHAT IF SHE HATES VESPAS OR SAFETY HELMETS OR YOU?"
<Wrong_Way>: "I RUINED EVERYTHINGGGG!"
HabeusKaiju knows she wasn't
Wrong_Way drops down onto his knees, weeping for his lost chance.
<HabeusKaiju>: She was making googgly eyes at you, and everything
HabeusKaiju knows she was not
<HabeusKaiju>: Eh, calm down, She wasn't there, alright?
<Wrong_Way>: "S-she wasn't?"
<Wrong_Way>: "...DON'T DO THAT THEO!"
<HabeusKaiju>: Hey, I was just ki-hey, wait...
Wrong_Way whacks his side with his helmet.
<HabeusKaiju>: What would be wrong with being seen with me?
HabeusKaiju gives Wrong_Way the stinkeye
<Wrong_Way>: "I DON'T KNOW OKAY?"
<HabeusKaiju>: Well, it would just be a shame to be seen with the lawyer, eh?
HabeusKaiju chuckles
<HabeusKaiju>: never gets old...
<Wrong_Way>: "Just don't do that again okay? You nearly gave me a heart attack."
<Wrong_Way>: "So what's this training we're supposed to do?"
<HabeusKaiju>: Alright, alright, I won't
<HabeusKaiju>: I unno
<HabeusKaiju>: shooting the shit, dispensing life lessons, and sutff?
HabeusKaiju goes over, and holds the door open for Wrong_Way
<Wrong_Way>: "Don't we do that all the time anyways?"
Wrong_Way heads inside the turtle burger and takes a seat in a booth.
<HabeusKaiju>: Well, yeah...but hey, first lesson is free!
<Wrong_Way>: "Does free include paying for my meal here?"
<HabeusKaiju>: Of course
HabeusKaiju sits down, and picks up a menu
<HabeusKaiju>: Anyways, first license, ya need a M license with an L Condition to drive a motorized two wheeled vehcile
<Wrong_Way>: "THEEEOOO, I don't need to drive."
<HabeusKaiju>: Well, ya do to drive a moped...
<Wrong_Way>: "You saying I can take your moped IF I learn how to drive it?"
<Wrong_Way>: "That's so lame!"
<HabeusKaiju>: What? No!
<Wrong_Way>: "I could be like, learning how to fly the S-jet!"
<HabeusKaiju>: I'm saying what ya did back there, was a crime!
<Wrong_Way>: "Was it? Aw well, you can drive on the way back."
<HabeusKaiju>: Darnit, Mark, that was the lesson...
<HabeusKaiju>: I think...
<HabeusKaiju>: Just, don't always trust authority figures, and assume it' right, alright?
<HabeusKaiju>: You know who did that?
<Wrong_Way>: "Batman?"
<HabeusKaiju>: Nazis!
<HabeusKaiju>: ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo
<Wrong_Way>: "Um okay?"
<Wrong_Way>: "But that was like, 100 years ago."
<HabeusKaiju>: Well, yeah....
<HabeusKaiju>: but, it could happen!
<HabeusKaiju>: What about....
<HabeusKaiju>: GHOST NAZIS!
<HabeusKaiju>: ooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo
<Wrong_Way>: "I can't believe I'm in a Turtle Burger talking about ghost nazis with my kaiju counsoler."
<HabeusKaiju>: Yeah, it's the American Dream, eh?
<HabeusKaiju>: Anyways, what they serve here?
<HabeusKaiju>: They got steaks?
<Wrong_Way>: "...It's a Turtle Burger, Theo. Have you never been in one of these before?"
<HabeusKaiju>: I usually eat at home, it saves money, and, it keeps the Kaiju heart ticking
<HabeusKaiju>: And, usually establishments don't let my kind in....
Wrong_Way looks around and shrugs
<Wrong_Way>: "Eh, they'll probably let you stay if you buy a burger."
<HabeusKaiju>: Oh, come on, I was setting up the joke...
<HabeusKaiju>: Anyways, I'll probably get...A ribwich
<HabeusKaiju>: Oooooooooh
<Wrong_Way>: "Oh, the Ribwich is back?"
<HabeusKaiju>: The Ribwich is back!
<HabeusKaiju>: And, a side of bacon strips, with a glass of water
<HabeusKaiju>: You?
<HabeusKaiju>: Pick what ya want
<Wrong_Way>: "Eh, I'm a usual here. They'll know what I want."
<HabeusKaiju>: Alright
HabeusKaiju raises a menu, and waits for a waitress to pop by
<HabeusKaiju>: So....what's new?
<Wrong_Way>: "Eh, Theo Junior's finally slowing down on eating those Polly Pockets of his."
<HabeusKaiju>: yeah, hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis
<HabeusKaiju>: I am sure you could impress Frankie with that, eh?
<Wrong_Way>: "...What are you saying."
HabeusKaiju winks at Wrong_Way
<Wrong_Way>: "For the last time Theo, the Polly Pockets are for Theo Junior!"
<HabeusKaiju>: Hey, I don't judge, I use to be a big fan of Sabrina the Teenaged Witch
<HabeusKaiju>: How's the war on girl issues anyways?
<Wrong_Way>: "Girl issues?"
<HabeusKaiju>: You know, with...Frankie...and stuff
<Wrong_Way>: "Oh uh well, it's um...fine..."
Wrong_Way seems to want to move from the topic.
<HabeusKaiju>: You do know about the...changes, and stuff, right?
<HabeusKaiju>: You okay?
<Wrong_Way>: "Aw jeez well uh, I talked about Frankie to that new Sex Ed teacher we've got."
<HabeusKaiju>: and?
<Wrong_Way>: "Well uh...I'm thinking of asking her out soon."
<HabeusKaiju>: Oooooooooooh
<HabeusKaiju>: So I guess I don't need to hook you up with that lava girl, eh?
<Wrong_Way>: "W-what? Y-you could've hooked me up with a chick all this time?"
<HabeusKaiju>: What? No
<HabeusKaiju>: I just suggested you to a new girl the other day
<Wrong_Way>: "Oh, right. Uh...her."
<HabeusKaiju>: Anyways, asking her out, how ya gonna do it? ya need help?
<Wrong_Way>: "Mister Hardun says I should look for a local "indie" concert, whatever that means."
<HabeusKaiju>: I think he means a pow-wow....
<Wrong_Way>: "A pow-what?"
<HabeusKaiju>: You know, the thing Native Canadian's do
<Wrong_Way>: "Theo, what makes you think I know what Native Canadians do?"
<HabeusKaiju>: History class?
<HabeusKaiju>: I dunno
<HabeusKaiju>: Listen, we are getting off track
<HabeusKaiju>: Ya made progress!
<Wrong_Way>: "I guess? I haven't asked her out yet..."
<HabeusKaiju>: Well, it's better than where ya were before
<Wrong_Way>: "W-was it really?"
<HabeusKaiju>: Do ya feel better?
<Wrong_Way>: "A little bit, but I didn't know there was so much research in doing something like this. I wish I could just take her to a Nickelback concert."
<Wrong_Way>: "That's something I know, not "vindel" records and stuff."
<HabeusKaiju>: Hmmm....
<HabeusKaiju>: how do you feel, down here?
HabeusKaiju pokes Wrong_Way in the stomach?
<Wrong_Way>: "Uh, hungry I guess. Where are all the waitresses in this place?"
<HabeusKaiju>: As Wrong_Way says that, a waitress pops their plates down
<HabeusKaiju>: Do ya feel little Mothra's floating down there?
<Wrong_Way>: "...You mean moths, right?"
<HabeusKaiju>: ....
<HabeusKaiju>: Right
<HabeusKaiju>: I haven't shown you Mothra yet, have I?
<Wrong_Way>: "You have a pet named Mothra?"
<HabeusKaiju>: No, no...
<HabeusKaiju>: We're having a movie marathon later, alright?
<Wrong_Way>: "Okaayyy..."
<Wrong_Way>: "But yeah, here's hoping right?"
HabeusKaiju munches into the Rbiwich, splattering sauce on the table
<HabeusKaiju>: Of course!
Wrong_Way raises his turtle burger up for a toast
<HabeusKaiju>: Ya deserve it, buddy
HabeusKaiju ruffles Wrong_Way's hair
HabeusKaiju finishes up, pays for the bill, and shows Wrong_Way the magic of Mothra in an all night marathon