THAT is Princess Toadstool, AKA Princess Peach, the ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom. The toads that comprise her personal guard aren't especially threatening, but I don't think there's any good way for you to blend in with a bunch of three-foot tall mushroom-headed men. Further, given how many mushrooms she's surrounded herself with, she may have a resistance to certain kinds of poison, but that's far from the only trick up your sleeves.

THAT is Princess Daisy, ruler of Sarasaland.  That said, she seems to spend more time joining Mario & co. in their various sports and parties than actually ruling. Lucky for her that princesses aren't elected, eh 47?. Regardless, a contract on a head of state is a delicate matter, but this is far from our first rodeo, as it were. As long you stay careful, we should be able to avoid creating an international crisis.

THAT is Bowser, king of the koopas, ruler of World 8, and giant fire-breathing dragon - though you've no doubt pieced that last bit together yourself. We're... not actually sure if he's a friend or foe to Mario and Princess Peach. They have parties and go kart-racing together, but the constant kidnappings suggest otherwise... Maybe she likes it?

THAT is Popo. The lady he's with is Nana. They call themselves the Ice Climbers, presumably because they like to climb icy mountains. Hardly winning any awards for creativity. They're borderline inseparable, so you'll have to take them out together or find a way to get them apart. Shouldn't be too hard to make them have an unfortunate 'accident' given how dangerous mountaineering is.

THAT is Sheik. We don't have a lot of data on her - she seems to sort of fade in and out of the world at will. It's rather impressive, really. What I can tell you is that she's the last of a secretive tribe of highly-trained ninjas called Sheikah. Apparently, she possesses some magical prowess as well. Honestly, she reminds me a lot of you, 47. I get the feeling that some ICA heads are wishing we got her resume instead of a contract on her.

THAT is Princess Zelda. You'd do well to take her seriously, 47. She's known to use magical abilities that she claims come from the goddess Hylia herself, and believe it or not, is a master of disguise. It's hard to pin down precise details, but we know that among her false identities are a ninja, and a pirate captain. Hm, sounds a bit immature. Perhaps she's more of a child playing dress up than the mystical rogue I mistook her for.

THAT is Doctor Mario. We're... not actually sure if he and Mario are the same person. They certainly look, move, and even sound identical, but no one's ever been able to definitively prove a connection. For the record, he's the unlicensed kind of doctor, and you know how that type is prone to handling dangerous chemicals without proper safety equipment... Though honestly, even without poison, those massive pills he hands out are a serious choking hazard.

THAT is Pichu. Pichu is a premature version of Pikachu, and will grow up to become one of those popular little buggers. Well...that was the plan. Anyway, it can't discharge electricity without damaging itself, so it may be possible to trick Pichu into getting rid of itself for you. Nothing wrong with taking it easy once in a while, given how hard you normally work.


THAT is Falco Lombardi. Fox's second in command, and StarFox's ace pilot. His skills in his personal ship are said to be legendary. Lucky for you, he's not in it at the moment. He's as cocky as he looks, and can't turn down a challenge. Ever tried racing, 47? It'd be a shame if someone tampered with Falco's ship.

THAT is Marth, the king of Archanea. A renowned strategist, a loved leader and a legendary hero. He knows all his closest troops and security personally, and his skills with a sword are practically unmatched, so be on guard, 47. Apparently, lances work best agains him.

THAT is Lucina, daughter of the Exalt of Ylisse. Supposedly, she came from the future to help save her world from disaster. She knows all her closest troops and security personally, and her skills with a sword and practically unmatched, so be on guard, 47. Apparently, lances work best against her.

THAT is... Link. Young Link. I'm not sure what he's doing around his adult self, but I'm pretty confident he is not your target today. Many of Link's supposed achievements were accomplished at quite a young age, she don't underestimate him. ...If you dispatch him, do you suppose Link would stop existing?

THAT is Ganondorf Dragmire, leader of the Gerudo desert triber. Our contractor described him as the "King of Evil". He packs power befitting a man of his size, on top of being a skilled swordfighter, and a powerful warlock. If he catches on to you, you'll be in for a lot of trouble. You might be able to get close if you make yourself look female enough to blend in with his guards... Ha. Good luck with that.

THAT is Mewtwo, another Pokémon. Its psychic abilities are unmatched, and range from levitation and telekinesis to mind-reading. If you get close, he'll know what you're planning. That said, supposedly it's weak to "dark-type" attacks, which our sources say are especially dirty and under-the-belt tricks. Should be a piece of cake for you, then.

THAT is Roy, the Master of Pherae. A renowned fighter, a loved leader and a legendary hero. He knows all his closest troops and security personally, and his skills with a sword are practically unmatched, so be on guard, 47. Apparently, lances work best agains him.

That is Chrom, the Exalt of Ylisse. A renowned fighter, a loved leader and a legendary hero. He knows all his closest troops and security personally, and his skills with a sword are practically unmatched, so be on guard, 47. Apparently, lances work best agains him.

THAT is Mr. Game & Watch. He's... Well, despite being completely 2-dimensional, he's been able to build up an impressive resumé. Chef, construction worker, lion tamer, even gas station attendant. I'll be completely honest, 47. I've no idea what sort of tricks he could have up his sleeve, or what could work on him. Is there such a thing as 2D poison?