To my dismay, at nine o’clock sharp the house was crammed with people rambling and yelling about. I hesitated a little and pricked up my ears before mounting the stairs. Someone was stomping inexorably their feet on the ground and crying out words I could not make sense of. It wouldn’t have taken a genius to narrow down who was responsible of the mischief, then my eyes caught the rascal red-handed as the well-lit kitchen came into sight.
A resentful and upset six year old brat glanced at me, her eyes moist with tears and her head crowned by brown curls. Lisa was throwing a hissy fit again, her mother bolted to her from the sofa, out of pure desperation she slapped her across the cheek and told her off for the upteenth time. Seated on the armchair facing the TV, grandpa knitted his eyebrows and held his hand on his forehead. Watching the television as the thing went on was a monumental effort. That loathsome sham was almost like a ceremony ritual, drastic measures were the only way to get through to her. I tried to walk through the kitchen with nonchalance, the view of the scene was so common it didn’t arouse any more shock among the members of the family.
“Good evening, aunt -----”
“Hi, Al.” She tried to stifle her anger, but her voice gave it away all the same.
My little cousin, the poor, not so poor kid turned around and began to cry and yell louder. She stomped her feet harder and my aunt heaved a long nervous sigh. Grandma called her name out and tried to win her attention with treats. She walked up to her and stooped, then held her hand out, the kid’s eyes sparkled with curiosity at the unknown object in her hand. She gulped a lump of mucus down her throat, blotted up her eyes with her shirt sleeves and tore the sweet out of grandma, then she smelled the unknown object and shoved it briskly in her mouth.
“See? You don’t have to be so harsh on the little one.” My grandma boasted about her accomplishment.
“You’re just going to spoil her.” Aunt replied in a rough tone.
“Settle down Lisa, you’ll wake your sister up.” She shifted her gaze to the blue cradle by the chair at the entrance of the room and beckoned Lisa to follow her as she made her way towards the fridge.
Auntie wasn’t in the wrong on this matter. Everyone and their dogs were aware of the events that led to her divorce, and they faulted the mother for not making sure her daughter was taken care of. Why didn’t she make allowances for her and hired a babysitter instead of letting her on the loose around the house? Because aunt had contracted the same disease of her father, her trust was an unobtainable prize, and she regarded those who didn’t belong to her bloodline as hapless outsiders. She’d choose death over paying someone to look after her kid, everybody held her at gunpoint according to her vision. And well, what can you expect from the irresponsible daughter of an equally irresponsible mother? Lisa was a feisty kid, she never saw her mom, and when she saw her, her mom rolled out the red carpet for her without a second thought. And so it began, showering her with gifts, promises and empty praises, aunt ----- absent-mindedly pushed Lisa down a dangerous road strewn with vices and hedonism. She was somewhat capable of fending for herself, but at long last the effects of neglect did a number on her character. Lisa was now past the age where her parent could straighten her out with either words or beatings. She went after her grandmother with a look of approval on her face.
“Another candy!” she exclaimed as she tugged on her grandma’s long skirt.
It was nothing short of a miracle that grandma managed to assuage her anger, but the solution was temporary.
“That’s called a marshmallow, treasure.” Grandma said and reached for the cabinet where she stored her candies. She took a new treat from the cheap plastic box and handed it out to the kid, who smiled and gladly devoured her gift.
“Another marshmallow!” She cried out.
“Cut it out, mom. Too much sugar is bad for her health!” Aunt’s voice ringed across the room.
Tears welled up in Lisa’s eyes, she was ready to burst out again.
“No no no, calm down, sweetheart. If you’ll be a nice girl grandma will give you something good.”
Lisa nodded silently in response and brushed her watery eyes with her sleeves. She sat at the table and started poking and playing with the fake flowers inside the vase in the middle of the table.
I carelessly sat opposite the kid to keep an eye on her. Grandpa saw that the movie was over and switched channels. The adults then began to talk about this and that and seeing that Lisa had no intention to tip the vase over, I took my phone out and went about my business.
“Can I try it?” She asked me as soon as she saw my device. My eyes peered over the rim of my phone.
“Can I try it? Can I try it?” The kid insistently questioned me. Her eyes spoke clearly “hand over your phone or you’ll be really sorry.”
“No, you can’t.” I flat out told her.
The situation grew complicated in a thunderbolt. She slammed her fist on the table and yelled furiously “I want to try it! I want to try it!” she was moments away from throwing another fit.
You can’t win with these kids, and let them do whatever they want then… after all I was held accountable for my actions before she even dreamed of being this tall.
“Just- don’t break the damn thing.” I let out a profound sigh and lent her my phone after closing my apps and setting it up as to not let her screw up with it.
The crew chewed the fat and enjoyed it, my aunt alone shooting a glance in the direction of Lisa now and then. At length the talking faded into a quiet interlude, and auntie grabbed the opportunity to bring me under the spotlight.
“How are you getting along, Allie?” She smiled at me.
“Getting along fine.” I looked her over.
“Do you feel comfortable around your classmates?”
“Kind of.”
“So, did you turn over a new leaf?”
From across the kitchen a suppressed chuckle was heard, I didn’t need to move my head to know it was grandpa’s.
The lousy piece of shit was laughing at me, I could glimpse a mocking grin out of the corner of my eyes. He knew it went right under my skin.
This was the sort of question you knew they were going to ask you at some point, yet its nuisance never occurred to you until it was brought to your attention. A hit or miss question, to lie or not to lie? I was a discreet storyteller, spinning a tale fresh out of my mind would have been entirely possible, but the unforeseen consequences put me off. And what does your aunt know about your high school life anyhow? Afraid she’s going to stick a microchip onto your coat and overhear your nonexistent discussions? Nay, nay, you seem to labor under the impression that lying would be a disservice to her. They eyed me like they would eye an unwelcomed guest they would have been more than pleased to dispose of. I’ve seen these looks long enough to discern them on sight, my aunt’s question was, for all purposes neatly calculated to push me over the edge. The individuals surrounding me were indeed barbarians aiming to skin me alive and sacrifice me in the name of their god of money. Bad company, I had to shield myself from their assaults. Is there any other choice than invoking their pity when they outnumber you? NO.
“I’m coasting trough school just fine, got the best grades of the whole class in English, yeah.” I responded.
“That’s nice to hear. Are you looking to become a teacher?”
“Beats me.” my lips broke in an idiotic smile.
“Take your time, make the appropriate choices.” She said “But don’t change your mind midway through.”
Nondescript suggestions, pointless nondescript suggestions.
“Allie’s going to make proud, he’s got a master plan up his sleeve” My grandpa remarked sarcastically.
“He’s still a kid, pa.” Aunt said.
“Not for long, not for long.” He answered and rocked his chair, giving me a dirty look.
The conversation between the adults carried on, and the hours ticked away. The never ever land’s New Year Concert was on the TV and a pack of decrepit old bags of bones alongside the flavor of the month’s teenage girls’ idols mounted the stage to spew their kindergarten-like lyrics, their voices backed up by auto-tune and all. Something I had failed to notice, a wrapped alcoholic beverage sat at the other end of the sink, this was going to be yet another fun night. Lisa was fed up with my phone, and at her mother’s command, she handed it back. My aunt wasn’t leaving any time soon, couldn’t kick her out even if I wanted.
But the worst of it all was that even though there was still someone who was willing to celebrate New Year with me, the place appeared to me as vacant as a mortuary stuffed with unmoving stiff corpses. Did I prize these people, or were we bonded just by a strand of blood? What are they expecting of me and what will become of them when their days will meet an end? I figured out their deaths wouldn’t discompose me any more than my defunct grandparents’. Even Lisa, she’ll probably fail her classes and become a street hooker or luck into a wealthy marriage and live her life to the fullest. But still, I would hedge my bets on the street hooker: she’s a pest, she doesn’t know a word of English, she’s already into the most disgraceful pop stars who put their asses in plain sight to rake in six figures and she looks up to them... I could write out a list of her defects, but what good would it do to speculate on a kid as young as six? I say I should be thrown head first into a lava pit.
The night carried on and on, they ate to their heart’s content as the show played out. To help myself from not sliding into insanity, I mulled over the events that turned my life around for better or worse. What was there to reminisce besides a boring, uneventful lifetime of tragedies? I never latched on to any positive belief, but but who says others aren’t to blame? I dare anyone to make it in one piece after being left to rot by what I used to call parents, ostracized by the whole lot of my classmates through elementary, middle and high school, humiliated and reduced to the lowest spit on Earth down to the end of your teens.
“You just need to loosen up, kid! Just shut down your brain and be yourself.” You’ll say, and I’d hold you at gunpoint and make you eat your words if I could, but not before putting you through unbearable pain.
When I thought back on all the meaningless advices I heard in my life, my abhorrence toward humanity heightened, but it was when I realized that none of these advices were directed at me that ferocious hatred against mankind peaked. I despised the human race because I expected solidarity and companionship instead of indifference and bitterness, but let the books speak on my behalf for I’m an inarticulate punk:

“If any being felt emotions of benevolence towards me, I should return them a hundred and a hundredfold; for that one creature's sake I would make peace with the whole kind!“

A lowly amateur teacher had held her hand out to me, and in the long run someone heard my cries of help. Henceforth, my life revolved around my humble benefactor. She brought glistening hope to my empty days and now I died to hold her tightly in my amrs, but unlike me, she was no monster and I was an uninteresting and plain high schooler to her eyes, yet it was a monumental improvement to being seen as a repulsive stain.
The recollection of her endearing face restored some peace to my unrestful soul and dried my invisible tears. I started seeing things in a brighter light, perhaps slipping into a state of trance followed by a manic episode that puzzled my relatives. The next morning I would leap out of my bed and dash to the station, I would shut myself in and enjoy myself. The day after tomorrow I would hand my essay paper to Miss Dallanger and ask her to wait in the staff room after the dismissal bed, then I would wrap my arms around her and tell her what she meant to me. My mind was completely set on this matter, my life depended upon it.
“Say, Al, what do you think about having a drink with us?” My grandpa asked at a quarter to midnight.
“Bring it on, old man.” I said and went to fetch the bottle right off the bat.
“Looks like he’s wide awake tonight.” My grandma remarked in surprise.
Upon setting the drink on the table, Lisa expressed stopped in her tracks some doubt to my unusual behavior.
“Mommy...” her face was panic-stricken “Allie is scaring me.”
I made no answer, but stroked her head lightly and showed a gratuitous smile before brushing past her and sitting on my chair. Auntie comforted her and she rejoiced as she was reassured that no dreadful demon had taken hold of me on New Year’s Eve.
I eagerly awaited for the clock to strike midnight, by the time a couple of minutes remained I unwrapped the bottle on my own and sought a corkscrew. Everyone lifted their eyebrows up and stared at me, Lisa kept to herself and occasionally had a glimpse at the TV.
“Pass the steel worm.”
“A what?” Grandma asked.
“A corkscrew.” I said. She slid the tool towards me and I plunged it inside the wooden cork
“Hold up, son.” Grandpa interjected. He pointed at the TV, the overjoyed crowd threw their hands up and cried the countdown aloud. It was my time to shine after a 17 year lethargy, this one year I would get my life together. Only fifteen seconds left… I twisted the handle four of five times… ten seconds, my heart is throbbing but my eyes are stuck on the bottle stopper… I try to raise it up lightly, leaving the final pull for the last second… five… four… three… I pull some more to refine my timing… two… one… I yank the cap open to the best of my ability… the clock hands overlap…  the euphoric mob calls the New Year out… the cork comes lose with a clamorous POP! in the middle of the exciting bustle… it’s over, I brush the back of my hand over my forehead as if wiping some sweat, but there is no sweat, it’s just my imagination.
“Well done, Al, you’re getting an handle on this.” For the first time in my life grandpa praised me, he forced a smile and pinched my cheek and I wondered if this was a dream.
“Well done!” “Well done!” Lisa parroted loudly as she skipped around the room.
I poured drinks for everybody except Lisa, then toasted with them, not to the New Year, not to the family, but to the accomplishment I looked forward to. The drink was still awful, but I had a shot anyway, just one shot though. When they all turned in and went back home I slipped between the blankets and drifted off to sleep, lulled by the memory of her heavenly voice and her sweet demeanor.