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00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
INDOXXI
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subtitles by rubinmusicbox ®

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Here we go.

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One, two...

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You guys wanna story?

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Yeah, I got a story.
A fuckin' doozy.

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Is this the one
where you say you own Facebook?

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Starts like this.
On the seventh day, God rested.

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I love God.
He's my favourite God.

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Yeah, but he's God, so he knew
that if after six days of

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crazy you gotta rest on Sunday.

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Rest every day.

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00:00:55,698 --> 00:00:57,492
But what about those poor
bastards going through six days

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of crazy, not knowing that the
seventh day is going to be a day

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of rest, or just another
day at the shit storm?

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Those are the poor
bastards we should toast.

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00:01:04,957 --> 00:01:05,917
To the shit storm!

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Who knows, maybe a couple
of angels come along

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and nudge him in the
right direction.

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But I'm getting ahead of myself.

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This is the story of
Frank and Nancy Teagarten.

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Their seven days started on
the morning they dropped

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their daughter off at college.

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Wow.

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Seems just like yesterday
I was pushing you on the swings

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in Gardner Park.

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Yeah.

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00:01:28,731 --> 00:01:32,026
And now,
look at our college girl,

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on her way to
becoming a veterinarian.

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Now, baby.
We're just a phone call away,

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five hour car ride away,
50 minute plane ride away.

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You know we're there
for you, anything you need.

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You have our numbers.

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00:01:43,913 --> 00:01:46,541
Yes, I practically
have them memorized.

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Good.

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But, don't call after 10:00 pm
cause we'll probably be asleep.

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That was a joke.
You know that was a joke, right?

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I love
your jokes, daddy.

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Do you like your bed?

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00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:57,844
Yeah.

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00:01:57,927 --> 00:01:59,595
We should have gotten
her a better mattress.

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How come we didn't
think of that?

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Know what this room
needs, is a Medeco lock.

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- Medeco makes a very sturdy lock.
- Yeah.

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And what's with this co-ed dorm?
Why are we doing that?

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She's in a co-ed dorm,
whose idea was that?

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That's wrong.

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I love you guys so much.

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Thank you.

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Thank you for everything.

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♪ Let go, life
does get tough ♪

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♪ No need to stress, ♪

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♪ Hold you back too much, ♪

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♪ Let's go
I heard they found a solution ♪

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♪ Where will you be
for the revolution? ♪

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♪ Woah woah, woah, woah ♪

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♪ Woah woah woah woah ♪

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♪ Woah woah woah woah ♪

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♪ I say to kids ♪

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♪ Wake up, things
might get rough ♪

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♪ No need to stress,
keeps you down too much ♪

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♪ Wake up, I heard they
found a solution ♪

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♪ Where will you be
for the revolution? ♪

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♪ Where will you be
for the revolution? ♪

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It's gonna be okay.

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Which part?

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All of it. I promise.

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Can I help you?

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Sorry, guys.
Gotta hook it up.

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Shit!

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What, now?

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Hey, man. I'm just
doing my job, all right?

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We just dropped our daughter
off at college, and we've been

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really, really busy.

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I'll send a payment
in a few days.

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Look, it's not me,
it's Volvo, okay?

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They don't fuck around when
it comes to a lease. Okay?

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I just need a little more time.

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There is a back story, here.

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Always is, brother.
Always is.

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Would you like to hear it?

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All right, shoot.

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I started a medical company.

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Put everything we had into it,
making a medical innovation

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that's been adding
years to people's lives.

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We rolled the dice hard,
but we believed in it.

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Then there was a problem.

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Small, but enough for
some news stories.

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They started calling us
"controversial," which is the

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toughest word in our business,

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00:04:53,477 --> 00:04:56,314
and it's been bad
dominoes ever since.

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Now, our daughter doesn't
know at all about this.

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We've been holding it together
until she went off to college,

93
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and now we're gonna
hold it together

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00:05:03,195 --> 00:05:05,114
until we get back
on our feet.

95
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What do you make?

96
00:05:07,158 --> 00:05:08,451
What, salary?

97
00:05:08,534 --> 00:05:09,869
Product.

98
00:05:09,952 --> 00:05:12,747
Artificial heart valves designed
for transfemoral placement,

99
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which means...

100
00:05:13,664 --> 00:05:15,833
Dual leg artery. I know.

101
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You know what I used to
do before this repo shit?

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Paramedic.

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Oh!

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Yeah. People used to
be glad to see me show up.

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Yesterday, I had to
take three child seats

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00:05:24,967 --> 00:05:26,510
out of the back of a Lexus,

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lay em out on their lawn,
like I was setting up

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for some goddamn baby
Lollapalooza concert,

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The Wiggles or some shit.

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- Remember them?
- No.

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Fuckin' Yum Yum Fruit Salad.

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I got kids.
It was sad.

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Shit. Okay, look.

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I'll tell em you weren't here.

115
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But the most I can get
you is days, not weeks.

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All right?

117
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So, if I were you, I'd find a
way to put some loot in my suit.

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Sell some crack,
or I'll be back!

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

121
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Finally a break.

122
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What about the,
uh, lamp in the den?

123
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It's broken.

124
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So, we sell it as-is,
or we fix it?

125
00:06:22,274 --> 00:06:24,902
We don't fix things,
Frank, we only ruin them.

126
00:06:24,986 --> 00:06:27,655
Hi guys.
Having a yard sale?

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00:06:27,738 --> 00:06:31,200
Uh, no, Bert. Our living
room puked all over our yard.

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What?

129
00:06:32,243 --> 00:06:33,411
Bye.

130
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Oh, look, Frank.

131
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A two thousand dollar Breville
Oracle espresso machine.

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00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:42,169
And we just had to have it.

133
00:06:42,253 --> 00:06:46,757
But we never even took
it out of the damn box.

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00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:48,843
Just be happy that the
thing is still in the box,

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it's worth two thousand dollars,
one eighth of that is a,

136
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it's a car payment.

137
00:06:53,097 --> 00:06:54,682
Why did we get all this stuff?

138
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Stuff, stuff, stuff everywhere,
and I can't even afford to get

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my roots done or
get a bikini wax.

140
00:07:02,732 --> 00:07:04,775
Hey, guys.
You're having a yard sale?

141
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,444
Hi, Jason.

142
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,113
No, Jason, our house
got hit by a tidal wave.

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00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,323
Just ours.
It's a freak of nature.

144
00:07:11,407 --> 00:07:13,451
Heh, well I'm glad it was yours.

145
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,911
Cause, salt water, it's like
kryptonite for the wheelchair.

146
00:07:15,995 --> 00:07:17,872
Jason, are you making
a handicap joke?

147
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I'm sorry, I thought...

148
00:07:20,041 --> 00:07:21,167
Cause...

149
00:07:21,250 --> 00:07:23,794
I'm the one in the...
Uh, Rachel called me.

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It sounds like she
made it off fine.

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So, the two of you were trying
to make the long distance

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00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:29,050
thing work? The odds
are against it, Jason,

153
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and she's ambitious
and you live at home.

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Frank...

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Yes?

156
00:07:33,929 --> 00:07:36,265
Don't pay any attention
to him, Jason.

157
00:07:36,348 --> 00:07:38,142
He's been drinking.

158
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,894
Well, I'd better be
off to work, so...

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00:07:39,977 --> 00:07:42,521
Hey Jason, do you wear
your Staples uniform under your

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00:07:42,605 --> 00:07:44,648
clothes like Superman, or do
you go home and change at your

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00:07:44,732 --> 00:07:46,901
mom's, where you
live, with your mom?

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Can't understand
the whispered Spanish.

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00:07:56,869 --> 00:07:59,330
Mr. Teagarten, I'd really
like to get along with you,

164
00:07:59,413 --> 00:08:01,332
even if Rachel and I
are eventually just friends,

165
00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:04,585
nothing more, 'cause I think
you guys are amazing people.

166
00:08:04,668 --> 00:08:05,920
Thank you, Jason.

167
00:08:06,003 --> 00:08:07,588
Have a nice day.

168
00:08:08,464 --> 00:08:09,840
Enjoy the ride.

169
00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:10,966
Ow.

170
00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:13,511
Ah, cause of the wheelchair.
That's...

171
00:08:14,553 --> 00:08:16,013
have a nice one.

172
00:08:19,892 --> 00:08:22,269
Nigel, how's it going
over there in London, huh?

173
00:08:22,353 --> 00:08:24,271
Are they still
driving backwards?

174
00:08:24,355 --> 00:08:25,606
What are you talking about?

175
00:08:25,689 --> 00:08:28,526
You know what I mean.

176
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:33,114
You know, sideways,
the cars, the street?

177
00:08:33,197 --> 00:08:34,365
Have you been drinking?

178
00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:35,950
Oh, that's hilarious.

179
00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:37,034
Seriously.

180
00:08:38,494 --> 00:08:40,371
Listen to me, I am gonna
be travelling for a while,

181
00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:43,040
all right? I'm gonna be gone to
Nepal, I'll be gone for about

182
00:08:43,124 --> 00:08:44,583
four months,
I'll be off the grid.

183
00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:46,043
Oh, that's weird.
Hey, listen, Nigel,

184
00:08:46,127 --> 00:08:47,753
while I have you on
the phone, I think I need

185
00:08:47,837 --> 00:08:50,756
to ask you for more
money to watch the house.

186
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,383
Cause I'm over there
like three days a week.

187
00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:53,926
What are you talking about?

188
00:08:54,009 --> 00:08:55,886
It's not that hard
to watch my house.

189
00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,096
I live right next door to you.

190
00:08:57,179 --> 00:08:59,723
I can get the kid down the
street to do it for free,

191
00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:02,643
just so he can go in
and watch cable. Jesus.

192
00:09:02,726 --> 00:09:04,395
What did he say
about more money?

193
00:09:04,728 --> 00:09:06,730
I don't think he's into it.

194
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,483
I'm going to Nigel's
for a minute.

195
00:09:38,470 --> 00:09:39,513
No.

196
00:09:44,226 --> 00:09:45,477
Hello, this is Frank.

197
00:09:46,103 --> 00:09:47,813
Oh, hi. Uh...

198
00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:49,982
Yes, I am going to pay you soon.

199
00:09:51,150 --> 00:09:52,985
No, I don't know when,
but your credit card is very

200
00:09:53,068 --> 00:09:54,403
important to me, so I...

201
00:09:55,321 --> 00:09:56,906
Yes, I know that, but...

202
00:09:58,157 --> 00:09:59,783
Well, I do want to work with
you, so how about this?

203
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,785
I'll send you the credit card,
and you just shove it up

204
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,954
your fucking ass.
Does that work?

205
00:10:13,255 --> 00:10:14,048
Yes.

206
00:10:14,757 --> 00:10:16,383
Yes. Yes.

207
00:10:20,095 --> 00:10:21,347
Absolutely not.

208
00:10:21,430 --> 00:10:22,890
It's a Chateau Latour.

209
00:10:22,973 --> 00:10:24,642
It's worth 800 dollars.

210
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,518
Have you lost your mind?

211
00:10:26,602 --> 00:10:27,394
Wait a minute.

212
00:10:27,478 --> 00:10:29,939
Since when did
you start smoking?

213
00:10:30,022 --> 00:10:31,273
Just now.

214
00:10:31,357 --> 00:10:32,816
Ha. Great timing.

215
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,610
Just when we can't afford it.

216
00:10:34,693 --> 00:10:36,862
Nigel has hundreds
of bottles of wine.

217
00:10:36,946 --> 00:10:37,988
He doesn't need more wine.

218
00:10:38,072 --> 00:10:39,782
He needs a punch in the
face, but not more wine.

219
00:10:39,865 --> 00:10:41,408
Would you please
have some decency?

220
00:10:41,492 --> 00:10:44,245
You're supposed to be
looking after his property,

221
00:10:44,328 --> 00:10:46,413
not parting it out
like an old Chevy.

222
00:10:46,497 --> 00:10:46,997
What?

223
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:48,249
What's next?

224
00:10:48,332 --> 00:10:51,418
You gonna put an ad on
Craigslist and rent it out?

225
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,255
Rent out his house?

226
00:10:54,338 --> 00:10:56,423
Rent out Nigel's house?

227
00:10:56,507 --> 00:10:57,925
On Craigslist?

228
00:10:58,509 --> 00:10:59,843
That's insane.

229
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,512
Stop changing the subject.

230
00:11:01,595 --> 00:11:04,515
Put that bottle of wine back.

231
00:11:04,598 --> 00:11:05,808
Right now.

232
00:11:05,891 --> 00:11:07,893
Shame on you, Frank.

233
00:11:12,189 --> 00:11:15,025
♪ "Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy,
hurdy gurdy gurdy" he sang ♪

234
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:18,404
♪ Here comes the Roly Poly Man ♪

235
00:11:18,487 --> 00:11:21,073
♪ He's singing songs of love ♪

236
00:11:21,156 --> 00:11:24,410
♪ "Roly poly, roly poly,
roly poly poly" he sang ♪

237
00:11:24,493 --> 00:11:26,287
I love this album.

238
00:11:26,370 --> 00:11:28,539
Are they still called albums?

239
00:11:28,622 --> 00:11:30,624
Albummmmmms....

240
00:11:32,251 --> 00:11:34,837
See dee dee
dee dee dee...

241
00:11:35,671 --> 00:11:37,131
See dee dee dee dee...

242
00:11:39,883 --> 00:11:41,635
You know the Filipinos?

243
00:11:41,719 --> 00:11:43,095
Bob and Teresa?

244
00:11:43,178 --> 00:11:44,805
From the Philippines.

245
00:11:44,888 --> 00:11:48,225
They used to strap coca tree
bark to their bodies before

246
00:11:48,309 --> 00:11:49,435
they went to battle.

247
00:11:49,518 --> 00:11:53,605
The cocaine would leech
into their bloodstream,

248
00:11:53,689 --> 00:11:57,985
and get them amped up to help
them overcome the fear of war.

249
00:11:58,068 --> 00:12:00,362
Frank, we're at war.

250
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,741
I don't think we can get our
hands on that kind of bark.

251
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,659
We ran out of vodka.

252
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,663
I wonder what Rachel will
listen to in college.

253
00:12:09,747 --> 00:12:14,209
What music will transport
her back to her youth,

254
00:12:14,293 --> 00:12:16,545
back to a time when her whole
life was in front of her.

255
00:12:16,628 --> 00:12:19,131
I don't know.

256
00:12:20,132 --> 00:12:22,092
I only know I'm sad
about that vodka.

257
00:12:25,095 --> 00:12:26,638
Fuck it.

258
00:12:27,765 --> 00:12:29,266
La Tour baby!

259
00:12:31,268 --> 00:12:34,063
Whatever happens probably will.

260
00:12:35,564 --> 00:12:37,232
Let's finish it inside.

261
00:12:37,316 --> 00:12:37,983
Yeah.

262
00:12:38,484 --> 00:12:39,193
Yeah.

263
00:12:39,818 --> 00:12:42,196
Starts getting
better tomorrow...

264
00:12:43,405 --> 00:12:48,285
When I'm stuck with a
day that's grey, and lonely,

265
00:12:48,369 --> 00:12:51,747
I just stick out my
chin and grin...

266
00:12:51,830 --> 00:12:53,040
Oh.

267
00:12:53,123 --> 00:12:54,375
And saaaaay...

268
00:12:54,458 --> 00:12:59,004
The sun will come out tomorrow

269
00:13:06,345 --> 00:13:12,351
You're only a daaaay
aaaawaaaaaay!

270
00:13:15,938 --> 00:13:18,107
Haha, you
fell on your ass, baby.

271
00:13:47,761 --> 00:13:49,179
Excuse me.

272
00:13:50,013 --> 00:13:51,515
Hi.

273
00:13:52,641 --> 00:13:54,852
What can you tell
me about this house?

274
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:56,353
I'm sorry?

275
00:13:56,437 --> 00:13:59,857
There was a rental ad for
this house on Craigslist,

276
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:02,276
but no one's
answering the doorbell.

277
00:14:02,359 --> 00:14:04,445
An ad on Craigslist?

278
00:14:04,528 --> 00:14:05,404
Yeah.

279
00:14:06,822 --> 00:14:08,282
For Nigel's house?

280
00:14:08,365 --> 00:14:11,076
No, somebody named Frank?

281
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:14,371
The ad's gone, it was
flagged for profanity.

282
00:14:14,455 --> 00:14:16,498
Okay, wait.
Back the fuck up.

283
00:14:16,582 --> 00:14:18,125
Let's start over.
What?

284
00:14:18,208 --> 00:14:21,545
Well, there was an ad, "For
rent, big beautiful fucking

285
00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:25,632
house furnished up the ass."
Obviously, I was intrigued.

286
00:14:29,011 --> 00:14:30,471
Are you okay?

287
00:14:32,181 --> 00:14:34,349
Not even in the ballpark.

288
00:14:45,903 --> 00:14:47,946
Four dollars?

289
00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:50,240
Four dollars for a zucchini.

290
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:54,203
And these people won't even
grease the wheels of their

291
00:14:54,286 --> 00:14:55,871
shopping cart.

292
00:14:57,331 --> 00:14:58,373
Fuckers.

293
00:15:07,424 --> 00:15:08,675
Nancy?

294
00:15:08,759 --> 00:15:10,260
Are you okay?

295
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:11,929
Oh, you.

296
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,847
Heidi, hi.

297
00:15:13,931 --> 00:15:19,144
I'm fine, it's just that I saw a
spider, and I tried to get it.

298
00:15:19,228 --> 00:15:21,104
My foot got stuck.

299
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:24,399
Um, are those box
wines in your cart?

300
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,280
No, I'm juicing.

301
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,949
How are Chip and the kids?

302
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:35,035
Oh, Chip pulled some strings
and got Carter into Yale.

303
00:15:35,118 --> 00:15:37,538
He won't light up the world but
he won't blow it up, either.

304
00:15:37,621 --> 00:15:38,914
Ah.

305
00:15:38,997 --> 00:15:41,750
Oh, totally off-subject, did
you hear about Lisa Chang?

306
00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:42,876
No, Lisa?

307
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:45,462
She and Andrew split up,
younger woman, yadda yadda,

308
00:15:45,546 --> 00:15:46,505
you know the drill.

309
00:15:46,588 --> 00:15:50,676
But, Lisa is working
at Macy's now.

310
00:15:51,426 --> 00:15:52,469
At the perfume counter.

311
00:15:52,553 --> 00:15:53,345
Oh my god.

312
00:15:53,428 --> 00:15:55,097
Oh my god.

313
00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:58,517
She's waving those little
smelly cards in people's faces.

314
00:16:00,352 --> 00:16:02,312
She gained ten pounds.

315
00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:04,231
And she's about to gain more.

316
00:16:04,314 --> 00:16:06,567
Because you have to
be rich to be skinny.

317
00:16:06,650 --> 00:16:10,612
All the cheap foods are
the ones that pork you up.

318
00:16:10,696 --> 00:16:13,365
The sugars, the carbs,
the corn syrup.

319
00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:17,703
I do not understand why the more
preservatives and chemicals

320
00:16:17,786 --> 00:16:20,706
they put in the food,
the cheaper it is.

321
00:16:20,789 --> 00:16:24,960
And the food that just comes out
of the earth, it's so expensive.

322
00:16:25,043 --> 00:16:26,044
Bastards!

323
00:16:26,128 --> 00:16:30,048
It's those hippies,
They see they're so going

324
00:16:30,132 --> 00:16:34,344
"hey Dude, look
at this zucchini, man.

325
00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:38,181
It's so beautiful, a
gift from mother earth.

326
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:40,183
How much should
we charge for it?"

327
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:44,813
"Uh, I dunno, $4,20?
Heheheh."

328
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,367
Okay, bye. Bye.
Nice to see you.

329
00:16:57,993 --> 00:16:59,453
Bye. Bye.

330
00:16:59,536 --> 00:17:00,454
Bye.

331
00:17:03,165 --> 00:17:04,958
Oh my god, oh my god.

332
00:17:06,418 --> 00:17:07,669
Frank.

333
00:17:07,753 --> 00:17:10,172
I think I'm having an
anxiety attack, and...

334
00:17:13,508 --> 00:17:14,635
Wait, what?

335
00:17:31,735 --> 00:17:33,028
Is this a joke?

336
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:36,698
But when?

337
00:17:36,782 --> 00:17:37,866
The cheque?

338
00:17:37,949 --> 00:17:39,159
No, the ad.

339
00:17:39,242 --> 00:17:41,870
It must have been last night
when we were drinking.

340
00:17:41,953 --> 00:17:43,747
I thought you did it.
It was all your idea.

341
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,290
My idea?

342
00:17:46,583 --> 00:17:50,379
Frank, I said it to make a
point about how we don't do

343
00:17:50,462 --> 00:17:51,755
anything stupid like that.

344
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,048
Don't you remember?

345
00:17:53,131 --> 00:17:55,967
I don't remember us polishing
off that Chateau Latour,

346
00:17:56,051 --> 00:17:57,135
but we did that too, right?

347
00:17:57,219 --> 00:17:58,512
I remember that.

348
00:17:58,595 --> 00:18:01,556
I remember pulling the cork, it
made that pop sound like the

349
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:05,018
crunch sound Eve probably
made when she bit the apple.

350
00:18:05,977 --> 00:18:07,187
Baby.

351
00:18:07,270 --> 00:18:09,481
It's six months in advance,
his name is Carl, and for

352
00:18:09,564 --> 00:18:12,067
what it's worth, I think
he was sent from God.

353
00:18:14,152 --> 00:18:17,030
Frank, do you understand
what this means?

354
00:18:18,156 --> 00:18:21,201
It means an entire year
of Rachel's tuition.

355
00:18:21,743 --> 00:18:23,870
Thank you Jesus!

356
00:18:26,581 --> 00:18:29,584
Does this mean we're
gonna celebrate?

357
00:18:31,002 --> 00:18:32,212
Heck yes.

358
00:18:32,295 --> 00:18:33,672
But...

359
00:18:33,755 --> 00:18:35,549
I gotta do something first.

360
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:37,509
I'll be right back.

361
00:18:55,819 --> 00:18:57,404
Hi, Frank.

362
00:18:57,487 --> 00:19:00,574
Hey. Is that
Dave Brubeck on the stereo?

363
00:19:00,657 --> 00:19:01,658
No.

364
00:19:01,742 --> 00:19:03,076
Too bad, I love Brubeck.

365
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,954
Especially back when Stan
Getz was on tenor sax.

366
00:19:06,037 --> 00:19:08,874
Getz did the soundtrack for
Micky One, which is my favourite

367
00:19:08,957 --> 00:19:12,461
Warren Beatty film.
I wanna say '65, '66.

368
00:19:12,544 --> 00:19:14,755
Warren Beatty was
a handsome boy.

369
00:19:14,838 --> 00:19:16,840
Got all the lady women.
Right?

370
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,467
But you know, Micky
One's not for everyone.

371
00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:19,634
You have to be patient.

372
00:19:19,718 --> 00:19:22,012
Unlike Star Wars, that
really trucks along.

373
00:19:22,095 --> 00:19:23,638
Right?
Same with Dances with Wolves.

374
00:19:23,722 --> 00:19:25,390
Kevin Costner, he
was definitely...

375
00:19:26,975 --> 00:19:30,020
Carl, that was bizarre, and
I didn't follow any of it.

376
00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:31,313
Is everything okay?

377
00:19:31,396 --> 00:19:32,773
Oh, it's...

378
00:19:32,856 --> 00:19:34,316
I love the house.

379
00:19:34,399 --> 00:19:36,526
Ha, I'm being rude.
This is my good buddy Joe.

380
00:19:38,028 --> 00:19:41,448
Well, less of a buddy
and more of a parole officer.

381
00:19:42,657 --> 00:19:43,950
I beg your pardon?

382
00:19:44,034 --> 00:19:48,246
Frank, uh, as a new neighbour,
I'm "legally required"

383
00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:51,666
to tell you that I'm a
registered sex offender.

384
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:52,584
Come again?

385
00:19:52,667 --> 00:19:55,003
Wow, really?

386
00:19:55,086 --> 00:19:56,129
Really what?

387
00:19:56,213 --> 00:19:58,048
I was, I was kidding.
You said "come again"

388
00:19:58,131 --> 00:20:00,550
and I'm a sex offender.
It was a joke.

389
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,719
Carl's a class 3 offender.

390
00:20:02,803 --> 00:20:06,723
He has to notify any resident
within a designated area.

391
00:20:06,807 --> 00:20:08,558
So we'll be going
house to house.

392
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:10,352
It's kind of like trick or
treating, except we don't get

393
00:20:10,435 --> 00:20:13,939
candy, we tell people
I'm a pedophile.

394
00:20:14,022 --> 00:20:16,274
I'm sorry, I'm having
trouble with my ears.

395
00:20:16,358 --> 00:20:20,445
There's a really loud sound to
them, like a, like a roaring

396
00:20:20,529 --> 00:20:22,864
crashing ocean, so...

397
00:20:22,948 --> 00:20:24,574
What the fuck did you just say?

398
00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:28,036
Baby, tell little Frank that
I'm here, that I'm ready...

399
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:29,246
Baby, get away from the door.

400
00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:33,750
Wow. Frank.

401
00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:35,752
You really did well.

402
00:20:37,295 --> 00:20:39,589
I did not see that coming.

403
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:42,092
Good.
I'm glad you didn't plan this.

404
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:45,595
Gotta burn down the
house to cook the pig.

405
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:46,638
What?

406
00:20:46,721 --> 00:20:48,682
I'm saying "I did
not see that coming."

407
00:20:48,765 --> 00:20:51,601
Oh, look. They're
going to the Templemans.

408
00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:53,186
Nice people, the Templemans.

409
00:20:53,270 --> 00:20:54,980
Their lawn is always so green.

410
00:20:55,063 --> 00:20:57,274
I've always wondered
what they use.

411
00:20:57,357 --> 00:21:00,569
Maybe you can call Carl.
You know, the fucking

412
00:21:00,652 --> 00:21:03,321
fucking sex offender,
and ask him to ask them.

413
00:21:04,656 --> 00:21:08,285
Probably
magnesium sulphate.

414
00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:11,454
You realize we're
going to jail, right?

415
00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:13,874
No. Nigel will
never press charges,

416
00:21:13,957 --> 00:21:15,792
I've pulled his fat out
of the fire too many times.

417
00:21:15,876 --> 00:21:18,128
Like last month, his smoke
detector was beeping,

418
00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:20,213
I changed the 9-volt,
didn't even charge him.

419
00:21:20,297 --> 00:21:23,425
Snap out of it, motherfucker.
We're going to jail.

420
00:21:24,968 --> 00:21:26,845
Don't forget your prescriptions
and anything else you might

421
00:21:26,928 --> 00:21:28,221
need for the next few weeks.

422
00:21:28,305 --> 00:21:29,806
Frank, help me.

423
00:21:29,890 --> 00:21:32,183
Hold this bag.
Hold this bag.

424
00:21:34,644 --> 00:21:36,980
Do you really need all these
panties and such, hun?

425
00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:38,857
No. I'm gonna hide
them in the attic.

426
00:21:38,940 --> 00:21:42,152
I don't want him going
all over my lingerie.

427
00:21:42,235 --> 00:21:43,737
The word is "cumming,"
Honey. Cumming.

428
00:21:43,820 --> 00:21:44,779
I don't give a damn.

429
00:21:44,863 --> 00:21:48,199
I do not want his DNA
on my private things.

430
00:21:48,283 --> 00:21:50,660
Baby, we really don't
know what he did.

431
00:21:50,744 --> 00:21:53,288
Then you should hide
your panties, too.

432
00:22:02,505 --> 00:22:03,340
Hi.

433
00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:09,220
Look, I know I should have
said something, but it's not

434
00:22:09,304 --> 00:22:12,349
like I told you I wasn't
a registered offender.

435
00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:13,975
Oh my god, he just said that.

436
00:22:14,059 --> 00:22:15,936
I saw his lips move
and everything.

437
00:22:16,019 --> 00:22:19,397
Carl. Part of me would like to
punch you in the face right now,

438
00:22:19,481 --> 00:22:21,483
but another part of me would
like to kick you in the balls.

439
00:22:21,566 --> 00:22:22,817
Which do you prefer?

440
00:22:22,901 --> 00:22:26,112
Uh, thanks.
I normally don't get a choice.

441
00:22:26,196 --> 00:22:29,199
But I, I don't know
anything about your house.

442
00:22:29,282 --> 00:22:32,077
How do I know your house
is as nice as this house?

443
00:22:32,702 --> 00:22:34,537
Our house is gorgeous.

444
00:22:34,621 --> 00:22:36,873
Carl, you don't have a choice.

445
00:22:36,957 --> 00:22:40,627
Our house could be a shack
cantilevered over hell's septic

446
00:22:40,710 --> 00:22:42,128
tank, and it wouldn't matter.

447
00:22:42,212 --> 00:22:44,047
You either move into our house,
or you're back on the street

448
00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:45,924
because you cannot stay here.

449
00:22:46,967 --> 00:22:50,720
I guess I could
just get my 25 grand back

450
00:22:50,804 --> 00:22:52,305
and find another place.

451
00:22:59,020 --> 00:23:00,605
You know what?

452
00:23:00,689 --> 00:23:02,065
Fine with me.

453
00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:04,943
Because I'm not even sure
that I want you in my house,

454
00:23:05,026 --> 00:23:08,613
sleeping in our bed,
inside our sheets,

455
00:23:08,697 --> 00:23:11,282
where I sleep
naked all the time.

456
00:23:11,366 --> 00:23:12,283
Ugh.

457
00:23:12,367 --> 00:23:14,411
And what if he finds
our home videos?

458
00:23:14,494 --> 00:23:16,871
Didn't I tell you
not to film that?

459
00:23:16,955 --> 00:23:18,957
Maybe I can make this work.

460
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,418
Let me run something by you.

461
00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:24,254
The Swedish Duxiana mattress.

462
00:23:24,337 --> 00:23:27,257
I haven't been able to
sleep one night in it.

463
00:23:27,340 --> 00:23:31,177
I'm not really interested in
mattresses normally, but this is

464
00:23:31,261 --> 00:23:36,224
my one time for this mattress,
and I'm not even a mattress guy.

465
00:23:36,307 --> 00:23:37,600
- You want the mattress, Carl?
- Yeah.

466
00:23:37,684 --> 00:23:39,185
Are you out of
your fucking mind?

467
00:23:39,269 --> 00:23:40,562
You're not getting the mattress.

468
00:23:40,645 --> 00:23:42,313
Have you ever had
your head examined?

469
00:23:42,397 --> 00:23:44,024
What's in there, pop tarts?

470
00:23:44,107 --> 00:23:48,111
"I'm not even a mattress guy."
Jesus H Christ, Carl, you are

471
00:23:48,194 --> 00:23:49,279
not getting the
fucking mattress.

472
00:23:50,488 --> 00:23:52,615
Why are we going
through the backyard?

473
00:23:52,699 --> 00:23:54,367
Why is the sky blue?

474
00:23:54,451 --> 00:23:58,246
Cause sunlight is refracted by
dust particles in the air and

475
00:23:58,329 --> 00:24:00,999
blue is the dominant
colour of the spectrum?

476
00:24:01,082 --> 00:24:04,836
Did you learn that in the 5th
grade, or from a 5th grader?

477
00:24:04,919 --> 00:24:06,212
Ouch.

478
00:24:08,673 --> 00:24:11,092
Baby, only you would
think of turning Nigel's pool

479
00:24:11,176 --> 00:24:13,470
into our own private drive-in.

480
00:24:13,553 --> 00:24:15,680
Maybe I'm losing my mind.

481
00:24:15,764 --> 00:24:17,474
Awww.

482
00:24:17,557 --> 00:24:18,975
Look at her.

483
00:24:19,059 --> 00:24:21,853
That was Rachel's
5th grade play.

484
00:24:21,936 --> 00:24:24,439
She was so good.
Rachel was the best thing in it.

485
00:24:24,522 --> 00:24:26,775
I'm being objective.
I mean, compared to Rachel,

486
00:24:26,858 --> 00:24:28,777
the rest of these
kids were all laughable.

487
00:24:28,860 --> 00:24:32,530
Their screechy voices
so hard on the ears.

488
00:24:33,948 --> 00:24:36,034
Ah, and there it is.

489
00:24:36,117 --> 00:24:40,413
Janice's grand
unforgettable party.

490
00:24:40,497 --> 00:24:44,084
Your sister only threw that
party to prove how rich she is.

491
00:24:44,167 --> 00:24:48,004
You know, I was in a
98 cents store today.

492
00:24:48,088 --> 00:24:49,547
I bet you anything

493
00:24:49,631 --> 00:24:52,884
that Janice would never
set foot in one of those.

494
00:24:52,967 --> 00:24:55,470
That's only because
she married Dan, not because

495
00:24:55,553 --> 00:24:58,139
she's any smarter than you.

496
00:24:58,223 --> 00:25:00,725
Do you remember when
we went together?

497
00:25:00,809 --> 00:25:03,812
You were craving Baby Ruths.

498
00:25:03,895 --> 00:25:05,855
I just had to have
that Baby Ruth.

499
00:25:05,939 --> 00:25:09,359
On a hunch we bought that
pregnancy test and eight months

500
00:25:09,442 --> 00:25:13,863
later, along came
our little Rachel.

501
00:25:14,364 --> 00:25:15,865
To Baby Ruths.

502
00:25:15,949 --> 00:25:17,617
To Baby Ruths.

503
00:25:22,622 --> 00:25:24,833
Hello?

504
00:25:25,542 --> 00:25:27,335
Mr. Teagarten's not at home.

505
00:25:27,418 --> 00:25:28,878
I'm sorry?

506
00:25:28,962 --> 00:25:30,380
He owes you money?

507
00:25:31,714 --> 00:25:35,218
Well, I'm his butler, not his
accountant, you fucking arse.

508
00:25:39,139 --> 00:25:40,765
That was Mastercard.

509
00:25:40,849 --> 00:25:43,935
Frank, why don't we
sell our funeral plots?

510
00:25:44,018 --> 00:25:47,605
We can get what, 2,000
dollars at least, right?

511
00:25:47,689 --> 00:25:49,399
Shit, baby, I'm sorry.

512
00:25:49,482 --> 00:25:51,317
School wanted a dorm deposit.

513
00:25:52,152 --> 00:25:53,403
Well, how lovely.

514
00:25:53,486 --> 00:25:56,322
I actually have to pee
really badly right now,

515
00:25:56,406 --> 00:25:58,533
and I would normally do it
right here in the pool,

516
00:25:58,616 --> 00:26:00,743
but I don't want to make our
problems any worse.

517
00:26:09,002 --> 00:26:10,545
Is that you, Carl?

518
00:26:13,464 --> 00:26:15,175
What's up, pervert?

519
00:26:15,258 --> 00:26:16,801
What the
hell is going on here?

520
00:26:16,885 --> 00:26:19,846
Nancy, Nancy, call 911!

521
00:26:19,929 --> 00:26:21,264
Who you talking to?

522
00:26:21,347 --> 00:26:22,849
Nobody.

523
00:26:22,932 --> 00:26:24,142
There's nobody else here.

524
00:26:31,024 --> 00:26:32,400
Oh my god.

525
00:26:34,527 --> 00:26:37,906
Run, run, ISIS has come!

526
00:26:38,865 --> 00:26:40,533
I am neutral!

527
00:26:40,950 --> 00:26:42,869
Put me down! Put me down!

528
00:27:05,058 --> 00:27:07,352
You know what this bitch was
doing when I grabbed her?

529
00:27:07,435 --> 00:27:10,271
Staring at a little
girl in a leotard.

530
00:27:10,355 --> 00:27:12,023
That was my daughter.

531
00:27:12,106 --> 00:27:14,359
The law won't protect our
community from deviants

532
00:27:14,442 --> 00:27:15,568
like you.

533
00:27:15,652 --> 00:27:16,819
We will.

534
00:27:18,613 --> 00:27:22,867
So if we see you anywhere
near 112 Blue Jay...

535
00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:34,337
We just escaped death.

536
00:27:35,546 --> 00:27:37,590
They thought you were Carl,
because Carl gave out

537
00:27:37,674 --> 00:27:38,800
Nigel's address.

538
00:27:38,883 --> 00:27:40,677
They thought
I was Carl because he gave

539
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:41,844
out Nigel's address.

540
00:27:41,928 --> 00:27:44,264
That's what I just said,
why are you screaming?

541
00:27:44,347 --> 00:27:45,723
The gunshots.

542
00:27:45,807 --> 00:27:47,392
My ears are, you know.

543
00:27:49,143 --> 00:27:51,813
You know how you know when
your life is out of control?

544
00:27:53,231 --> 00:27:55,316
When there's a ringing in your
ears and you don't know if it's

545
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:59,195
a creditor calling or a
kidnapper has fired a shotgun

546
00:27:59,279 --> 00:28:01,990
six inches from your head.

547
00:28:05,618 --> 00:28:08,079
Is that
Spanx over tights?

548
00:28:08,162 --> 00:28:10,665
Yes, I'm double Spanking.

549
00:28:10,748 --> 00:28:13,334
Do you have to scream
it to the world?

550
00:28:14,752 --> 00:28:16,879
Cause right about now, I'd like
to have a pair of really tight

551
00:28:16,963 --> 00:28:20,049
Spanx around my fucking neck.

552
00:28:21,217 --> 00:28:23,094
No, Janice
would never understand.

553
00:28:23,177 --> 00:28:24,887
But she's your sister.

554
00:28:24,971 --> 00:28:26,973
She will ask too many questions.

555
00:28:27,598 --> 00:28:29,392
Our car broke down.

556
00:28:29,475 --> 00:28:30,685
Right.

557
00:28:30,768 --> 00:28:34,272
And I'm barefoot because
we have the Flintstone's car,

558
00:28:34,355 --> 00:28:36,733
and I peddled it like Wilma.

559
00:28:39,819 --> 00:28:41,571
What's your guess
on his net worth?

560
00:28:41,654 --> 00:28:42,947
I'd say at least
a hundred million.

561
00:28:43,031 --> 00:28:44,741
It's as high as two
hundred million.

562
00:28:44,824 --> 00:28:45,783
No, that's too high.

563
00:28:45,867 --> 00:28:47,618
At least a hundred million.

564
00:28:47,702 --> 00:28:49,412
He's definitely well fed.

565
00:28:49,495 --> 00:28:50,538
Please, let's go.

566
00:28:50,621 --> 00:28:53,082
She'll never buy our bullshit.

567
00:28:53,166 --> 00:28:56,294
And you can't tell her, or
anybody else for that matter.

568
00:28:56,377 --> 00:28:59,047
That's how this falling
from grace thing works.

569
00:28:59,130 --> 00:29:02,300
People find out, they look
away, they avert their eyes.

570
00:29:02,759 --> 00:29:04,427
Especially our friends.

571
00:29:04,510 --> 00:29:06,763
Are they really
our friends, then?

572
00:29:06,846 --> 00:29:09,015
Nancy, I'm too tired to have a
deep conversation right now.

573
00:29:11,476 --> 00:29:12,643
But no.

574
00:29:13,770 --> 00:29:16,314
No, Frank. Why are
you forcing me to do this?

575
00:29:16,397 --> 00:29:18,775
I cannot take this
shit right now.

576
00:29:18,858 --> 00:29:20,860
I'm going to get
an anxiety attack.

577
00:29:20,943 --> 00:29:22,278
Not Betty.

578
00:29:22,362 --> 00:29:25,281
Okay, I understand you didn't
want to stay at Janice's,

579
00:29:25,365 --> 00:29:26,949
but now you don't want to stay
at this sister's house?

580
00:29:27,033 --> 00:29:28,368
but we have nowhere to go.

581
00:29:28,451 --> 00:29:30,703
Carl's in our house, we can't go
back to Nigel's because those

582
00:29:30,787 --> 00:29:33,539
psychos said they'd kill us,
we don't have any credit cards,

583
00:29:33,623 --> 00:29:35,750
you're barefoot,
and I feel like hell.

584
00:29:35,833 --> 00:29:37,001
Of course you do.

585
00:29:37,085 --> 00:29:39,962
Cause we're almost there.
That is hell.

586
00:29:40,046 --> 00:29:42,799
It's like we're in Kansas,
and we're about to get sucked

587
00:29:42,882 --> 00:29:47,053
into a tornado and
drop into an inferno

588
00:29:47,136 --> 00:29:49,931
where Oompa-Loompa's on
speed are the gatekeepers.

589
00:29:50,014 --> 00:29:52,600
Baby, I'm going to need
some time to sort through all

590
00:29:52,683 --> 00:29:55,770
those analogies.
Besides, it's not that bad.

591
00:29:55,853 --> 00:29:57,313
Just smile a lot.

592
00:29:57,397 --> 00:29:59,065
See? Smile.

593
00:29:59,148 --> 00:30:00,108
Like this.

594
00:30:00,191 --> 00:30:01,901
Let's see how long that lasts.

595
00:30:07,365 --> 00:30:08,699
Hi Tristan.

596
00:30:08,783 --> 00:30:09,492
Hi Tristan.

597
00:30:09,575 --> 00:30:11,077
Why is she barefoot?

598
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,830
Uh, Tai Chi.
It's very relaxing.

599
00:30:13,913 --> 00:30:15,164
Uh, can we come in?

600
00:30:15,248 --> 00:30:17,208
I guess you could come in.

601
00:30:18,251 --> 00:30:20,878
Dad, Uncle Frank and
Aunt Nancy are here.

602
00:30:20,962 --> 00:30:22,755
That's a really
cool walkie-talkie.

603
00:30:22,839 --> 00:30:25,758
Yeah, well not to me.
My fucking dad won't spring

604
00:30:25,842 --> 00:30:28,594
for the Ace 10s,
which are way more badass.

605
00:30:28,678 --> 00:30:30,096
Hmm.

606
00:30:30,179 --> 00:30:32,223
Navy Seals use Ace 10s, they
also use cool martial arts like

607
00:30:32,306 --> 00:30:33,933
Krav Maga and cool
shit like that.

608
00:30:34,016 --> 00:30:36,727
Tai Chi's for homos, but
you probably knew that.

609
00:30:36,811 --> 00:30:38,438
Smile, Frank.

610
00:30:39,063 --> 00:30:40,606
Oh, hi Trey.

611
00:30:40,690 --> 00:30:41,732
I wish.

612
00:30:41,816 --> 00:30:45,194
My walkie talkie is
dead as a used dick.

613
00:30:45,278 --> 00:30:46,696
You have any 9-volt batteries?

614
00:30:46,779 --> 00:30:48,197
- Me?
- Can I search you?

615
00:30:48,281 --> 00:30:49,282
- What?
- Nothing.

616
00:30:49,365 --> 00:30:52,034
Dad, for god sakes, what
is this, a Becket play?

617
00:30:52,118 --> 00:30:53,494
When did this turn
into Waiting for Godot?

618
00:30:53,578 --> 00:30:56,038
That is quite a reference
for a young lad.

619
00:30:56,122 --> 00:30:58,124
Yeah.
I'm Vladimir and he's Estrago.

620
00:30:58,207 --> 00:31:00,084
- It's Estragon.
- Bullshit.

621
00:31:00,168 --> 00:31:03,212
Dad, chop-chop,
the small talk is getting a

622
00:31:03,296 --> 00:31:04,464
little thin out here.

623
00:31:04,547 --> 00:31:06,424
All right, I'm coming,
I'm coming, don't get

624
00:31:06,507 --> 00:31:07,467
your panties in a wad.

625
00:31:07,550 --> 00:31:09,552
All hail Lord Douchington.

626
00:31:09,635 --> 00:31:10,636
Hi, Bob.

627
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,555
Hey, you made it.
How's the trip?

628
00:31:12,638 --> 00:31:13,973
Found everything okay?

629
00:31:14,056 --> 00:31:14,765
Douche.

630
00:31:14,849 --> 00:31:17,143
Hey, that's TV for a week, pal.

631
00:31:17,226 --> 00:31:18,644
Señor Douche.

632
00:31:18,728 --> 00:31:19,812
Yup.

633
00:31:21,022 --> 00:31:22,106
God.

634
00:31:22,190 --> 00:31:23,441
Delightful.

635
00:31:23,524 --> 00:31:25,443
Hey, so Nance, how
come you're barefoot?

636
00:31:25,526 --> 00:31:27,111
You ain't going
hippie on me, are ya?

637
00:31:27,195 --> 00:31:28,196
Yeah.

638
00:31:28,279 --> 00:31:31,324
I'm like Wilma Flintstone.

639
00:31:32,116 --> 00:31:33,618
Fred was the one who drove.

640
00:31:33,701 --> 00:31:35,244
Wilma just rode shotgun.

641
00:31:35,328 --> 00:31:36,913
She drove sometimes.

642
00:31:36,996 --> 00:31:39,624
So, uh, they're termite
tending your house? What?

643
00:31:39,707 --> 00:31:41,918
Well yeah, we tried to sleep
in the den, but there were all

644
00:31:42,001 --> 00:31:44,921
these fumes, and then it was
like we were back in the 60s.

645
00:31:46,297 --> 00:31:48,257
Well, I wouldn't know.
I'm way younger than you are.

646
00:31:48,341 --> 00:31:50,092
Hey, but I do know
the tending game.

647
00:31:50,176 --> 00:31:51,761
We got spiders.

648
00:31:51,844 --> 00:31:54,597
When those spider eggs pop,
those little spiders come out,

649
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:56,182
they start biting
everything like crazy.

650
00:31:56,265 --> 00:31:58,017
Smile, Frank.

651
00:31:58,100 --> 00:31:59,018
Heh.

652
00:31:59,101 --> 00:32:01,479
Oh, yeah.
Do I sound defensive?

653
00:32:01,562 --> 00:32:02,438
No.

654
00:32:02,522 --> 00:32:03,523
Is Betty coming down?

655
00:32:03,606 --> 00:32:05,107
I was telling
Frank on the phone,

656
00:32:05,191 --> 00:32:06,901
she's laid up with diarrhea.

657
00:32:06,984 --> 00:32:09,320
Accidentally made a
sandwich out of cat food.

658
00:32:09,403 --> 00:32:11,697
Well, don't worry about us.
We had dinner already.

659
00:32:11,781 --> 00:32:13,533
I think I'm gonna go
see how she's doing.

660
00:32:13,616 --> 00:32:14,450
Hey, hey, hey.

661
00:32:14,534 --> 00:32:16,494
You don't wanna go
up there right now.

662
00:32:16,577 --> 00:32:20,122
She's on the throne, blowing
brown, if you catch my drift.

663
00:32:20,206 --> 00:32:21,415
I caught it, yup.

664
00:32:21,499 --> 00:32:23,334
Hey, but like I said,
you two are welcome to

665
00:32:23,417 --> 00:32:24,460
bunk in the twins' room.

666
00:32:24,544 --> 00:32:27,296
Our room? Why not your room?

667
00:32:27,380 --> 00:32:30,341
Because you two can sleep
on the couch tonight. Over.

668
00:32:30,758 --> 00:32:33,594
Ever hear of a Motel 6? Over.

669
00:32:33,678 --> 00:32:34,804
Hilarious.

670
00:32:34,887 --> 00:32:37,014
I'm just gonna
show you to the room,

671
00:32:37,098 --> 00:32:38,641
hopefully we won't get lost.

672
00:32:38,724 --> 00:32:40,643
Let's do
this every month.

673
00:32:46,607 --> 00:32:47,733
Sorry, fellas.

674
00:32:48,150 --> 00:32:49,694
Sorry enough to go away?

675
00:32:49,777 --> 00:32:50,736
Wow.

676
00:32:50,820 --> 00:32:52,280
The bed is small.

677
00:32:52,363 --> 00:32:55,408
If you're gonna do any stuff on
it, just wash the sheets after.

678
00:32:56,659 --> 00:32:57,827
Will do.

679
00:32:57,910 --> 00:32:59,620
It's gross.

680
00:33:00,580 --> 00:33:01,914
Are we talking about
the same thing?

681
00:33:02,623 --> 00:33:03,416
I'm serious.

682
00:33:03,499 --> 00:33:04,292
I'm sure you are.

683
00:33:04,375 --> 00:33:05,209
Do we have a problem?

684
00:33:05,293 --> 00:33:07,587
I don't think so.
Are we done now?

685
00:33:07,670 --> 00:33:09,672
Yeah. I think we're done.

686
00:33:09,755 --> 00:33:12,550
Did you know that you can
hack into baby monitors?

687
00:33:12,633 --> 00:33:16,012
We're teaching our neighbour's
baby how to say the N-word.

688
00:33:17,221 --> 00:33:18,806
Nancy, would you join
me outside for a second?

689
00:33:18,889 --> 00:33:19,890
Yeah.

690
00:33:19,974 --> 00:33:22,602
You understand now what
I was talking about?

691
00:33:22,685 --> 00:33:24,437
Except the Oompa-Loompa's
are not on speed,

692
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,981
they are on angel dust.

693
00:33:27,064 --> 00:33:29,066
How did we get so
lucky with Rachel?

694
00:33:29,150 --> 00:33:31,652
We communicated with her
directly, not through some

695
00:33:31,736 --> 00:33:34,614
CB radio. Let's start
there and reverse engineer it.

696
00:33:37,158 --> 00:33:40,453
I was thinking, we rented
Nigel's house to Carl but we had

697
00:33:40,536 --> 00:33:42,622
to move him over to our house,
which means that Nigel's house

698
00:33:42,705 --> 00:33:43,664
is still empty.

699
00:33:43,748 --> 00:33:45,708
I say we rent Nigel's
house again...

700
00:33:45,791 --> 00:33:46,959
Frank!

701
00:33:47,043 --> 00:33:48,544
Only this time to somebody
who isn't a sex offender.

702
00:33:48,628 --> 00:33:52,673
Or, why don't we just handcuff
ourselves and walk straight into

703
00:33:52,757 --> 00:33:54,717
the police station, Frank?

704
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:57,053
This place is filled
with spider webs.

705
00:33:57,136 --> 00:33:58,512
Well, as you can see,
they don't clean.

706
00:33:58,596 --> 00:34:00,931
The original Craigslist
ad is still on my phone.

707
00:34:01,015 --> 00:34:02,808
I say we post it again.

708
00:34:02,892 --> 00:34:04,894
Are you not listening
to me, Frank?

709
00:34:05,311 --> 00:34:08,731
Absolutely no fucking way.

710
00:34:08,814 --> 00:34:10,399
This is where we draw the line.

711
00:34:10,483 --> 00:34:12,610
Baby, I don't know what's on
the other side of that line,

712
00:34:12,693 --> 00:34:14,487
but I do know what's on
this side of that line,

713
00:34:14,570 --> 00:34:15,780
and it is bleak.

714
00:34:15,863 --> 00:34:17,740
Okay, here's the
original Craigslist ad.

715
00:34:17,823 --> 00:34:18,908
- Don't you dare.
- We delete some of

716
00:34:18,991 --> 00:34:20,576
the bad words, I think
you were drunk at the time.

717
00:34:20,660 --> 00:34:22,411
I was drunk at the time?

718
00:34:22,495 --> 00:34:25,790
And it is done.

719
00:34:25,873 --> 00:34:28,459
You just posted it again?
Aaaah, Frank!

720
00:34:28,542 --> 00:34:29,919
You just smoked a spider!

721
00:34:33,547 --> 00:34:35,091
Give me the Heimlich!

722
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,557
What the hell's going on?
You woke up my baby.

723
00:34:43,641 --> 00:34:45,685
Frank, I get it,
you smoked a spider.

724
00:34:45,768 --> 00:34:47,478
But can you keep it down?

725
00:34:48,312 --> 00:34:50,272
Hit me in the back.

726
00:34:51,732 --> 00:34:53,651
Not with the shovel!

727
00:34:55,194 --> 00:34:58,239
Natalie, tell your kids
to stay off my baby monitor.

728
00:34:58,322 --> 00:35:00,491
It's your fault for
having a baby monitor.

729
00:35:00,574 --> 00:35:01,951
It's an attractive nuisance.

730
00:35:02,034 --> 00:35:03,786
There it is.

731
00:35:06,205 --> 00:35:08,958
Frank, are you okay?

732
00:35:09,041 --> 00:35:10,876
Do you want another cigarette?

733
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,337
Are you all right baby?

734
00:35:38,738 --> 00:35:40,197
Dad, come quick.

735
00:35:40,281 --> 00:35:42,366
Why is Uncle Frank
doing this to me?

736
00:35:45,244 --> 00:35:46,245
Oh my god.

737
00:35:46,328 --> 00:35:47,496
Yes?

738
00:35:47,580 --> 00:35:48,664
Frank!

739
00:35:49,790 --> 00:35:50,916
My god.

740
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,960
What is going on?

741
00:35:53,043 --> 00:35:55,337
Nancy, are you naked?

742
00:35:55,421 --> 00:35:57,923
No, I'm not naked.
It's a shirt.

743
00:35:58,007 --> 00:35:59,967
Tristan, what are those?

744
00:36:00,050 --> 00:36:02,762
It's Aunt Nancy's Spanx,
Uncle Frank made me wear them.

745
00:36:02,845 --> 00:36:04,138
Now stop this.

746
00:36:04,221 --> 00:36:06,056
Frank, how could
you, he's just a boy.

747
00:36:06,140 --> 00:36:07,516
I'm so scared right now.

748
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:09,101
Oh shit.

749
00:36:09,185 --> 00:36:10,144
Jesus Christ.

750
00:36:10,227 --> 00:36:11,687
Betty...

751
00:36:11,771 --> 00:36:14,106
She just stuck
her tongue out at me.

752
00:36:14,190 --> 00:36:16,984
Frank, downstairs, now.

753
00:36:21,781 --> 00:36:23,199
Who are you?

754
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:29,371
You know what, Frank?

755
00:36:29,455 --> 00:36:32,374
It's not pleasant to be
mistaken for a sex offender,

756
00:36:32,458 --> 00:36:36,670
and molesting your nephew
in less than 24 hours.

757
00:36:37,755 --> 00:36:40,508
But right now, I feel
sorry for my sister.

758
00:36:40,591 --> 00:36:43,052
I am actually really
worried for her.

759
00:36:43,135 --> 00:36:45,054
As you should be.

760
00:36:45,137 --> 00:36:47,848
Pretty soon, some court
appointed therapist

761
00:36:47,932 --> 00:36:49,767
is going to be white
knuckling with those two kids.

762
00:36:51,185 --> 00:36:52,812
I see that your sister
calmed down enough to lend

763
00:36:52,895 --> 00:36:54,021
you her wig, huh?

764
00:36:54,104 --> 00:36:57,107
Uh, yeah, I don't know whose
wig is it, in that house.

765
00:36:57,191 --> 00:36:59,068
Well, it helps us hide
from the kidnappers.

766
00:37:00,486 --> 00:37:02,571
Hey, are you Wayne, the
guy that answered the ad?

767
00:37:02,655 --> 00:37:03,823
- Yeah, yeah.
- I'm Frank.

768
00:37:03,906 --> 00:37:05,950
What are you two, in the
witness protection program?

769
00:37:06,033 --> 00:37:08,077
No, we were just sunning
ourselves in the backyard.

770
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:09,453
- Is that your truck, Wayne?
- Yeah.

771
00:37:09,537 --> 00:37:10,830
Oh that's fantastic.
Step inside and we'll

772
00:37:10,913 --> 00:37:12,373
just take a look at the house.
Okay?

773
00:37:15,835 --> 00:37:18,254
The ad said the house
comes furnished?

774
00:37:18,337 --> 00:37:20,798
Uh, yep. It only needs
a mattress. Long story.

775
00:37:20,881 --> 00:37:22,299
The previous tenant took it.

776
00:37:22,383 --> 00:37:23,300
Short story.

777
00:37:23,384 --> 00:37:25,803
Okay then.
I wrote you a cheque.

778
00:37:26,595 --> 00:37:27,596
You uh, that's it?

779
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:28,931
You don't want to
have a look around?

780
00:37:29,014 --> 00:37:30,015
It's not to be an asshole.

781
00:37:30,099 --> 00:37:31,308
You want to rent
the place or not?

782
00:37:31,392 --> 00:37:32,935
I mean, I got shit
tons of stuff to do.

783
00:37:33,018 --> 00:37:35,062
Yes, uh, no, uh, sure.

784
00:37:35,145 --> 00:37:37,356
It's just that normally
there's a process.

785
00:37:37,439 --> 00:37:39,233
We learned the hard
way to ask questions.

786
00:37:39,316 --> 00:37:41,652
Did you hear that?

787
00:37:42,736 --> 00:37:43,988
What's that?

788
00:37:45,281 --> 00:37:46,323
Good lord.

789
00:37:46,407 --> 00:37:47,658
Oh, there's
something on my face.

790
00:37:47,741 --> 00:37:49,577
No, don't touch your face!
Don't panic.

791
00:37:49,660 --> 00:37:51,704
You're covered in spiders.

792
00:37:51,787 --> 00:37:53,205
Jesus, baby don't move.

793
00:37:55,499 --> 00:37:57,293
Agh, they're
crawling on my body.

794
00:37:57,376 --> 00:37:59,545
Get them, get them!

795
00:38:00,546 --> 00:38:03,007
They're biting me,
they're biting me!

796
00:38:03,090 --> 00:38:06,176
They're
biting me, get them out!

797
00:38:12,099 --> 00:38:14,310
Get them out!

798
00:38:33,829 --> 00:38:35,664
Oh Frank,
what have I done?

799
00:38:35,748 --> 00:38:37,333
Tell my Rachel I love her.

800
00:38:37,416 --> 00:38:39,043
You're not going to die,
you're not going to die.

801
00:38:39,126 --> 00:38:40,586
You hear me? Woah! Woah!

802
00:38:40,669 --> 00:38:43,005
Stop scratching yourself, don't
antagonize it, for god sake's.

803
00:38:43,589 --> 00:38:45,007
Nancy! You're gonna be fine,

804
00:38:45,090 --> 00:38:46,759
the doctors will
give you an ointment.

805
00:38:46,842 --> 00:38:48,302
Hold on, hold on.

806
00:38:48,385 --> 00:38:50,054
God I hate spiders, don't you?

807
00:38:50,137 --> 00:38:52,306
- Wait, there's another one.
- Woah!

808
00:39:06,403 --> 00:39:08,864
♪ Kickin' up a storm,
black clouds of grey ♪

809
00:39:08,948 --> 00:39:11,659
♪ Interstate 40's
backing up fast ♪

810
00:39:11,742 --> 00:39:14,578
♪ Look to the east,
no relief in sight ♪

811
00:39:14,662 --> 00:39:17,331
♪ Pull yourself together
cause I gather we might ♪

812
00:39:17,414 --> 00:39:21,293
♪ The river's gone wild,
the river's gone wild ♪

813
00:39:31,470 --> 00:39:33,305
Oh.

814
00:39:33,973 --> 00:39:35,432
Tyler, how are you?

815
00:39:35,516 --> 00:39:38,143
Uh, Frank, how are you?

816
00:39:38,227 --> 00:39:40,646
I'm on the right side of the
grass my man, what's the happs?

817
00:39:41,855 --> 00:39:44,608
No offence Frank, but
how did you get in here?

818
00:39:44,692 --> 00:39:46,610
This is a restricted
access garage.

819
00:39:47,695 --> 00:39:49,613
Well, I still have
my Jensen parking pass,

820
00:39:49,697 --> 00:39:52,658
and I have an interview
today up on 16 with Gretina.

821
00:39:54,076 --> 00:39:56,662
Gretina's not on
16 anymore, Frank.

822
00:39:56,745 --> 00:39:58,205
What floor are they on?

823
00:39:58,288 --> 00:39:59,707
They moved to Seattle.

824
00:40:01,250 --> 00:40:03,919
Well, don't remind me,
cause I'm dying for a Starbucks,

825
00:40:04,003 --> 00:40:05,921
but the meeting is on Skype.

826
00:40:06,005 --> 00:40:08,590
I'm gonna Skype to uh, Seattle.

827
00:40:12,136 --> 00:40:13,095
Don't, don't.

828
00:40:13,178 --> 00:40:14,972
Don't Tyler, don't
give me that look.

829
00:40:15,055 --> 00:40:16,765
I know that look. Please.

830
00:40:18,225 --> 00:40:19,476
Everything's fine.

831
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:20,811
Everything with us is okay.

832
00:40:20,894 --> 00:40:23,772
Honey, you remember Tyler
Rector from Jensen Med?

833
00:40:23,856 --> 00:40:24,898
Baby, can you hear me?

834
00:40:33,699 --> 00:40:34,908
How can I help?

835
00:40:36,702 --> 00:40:40,205
So that's the long and
short but the silver lining is

836
00:40:40,289 --> 00:40:41,790
that, at least for now,

837
00:40:41,874 --> 00:40:43,751
we don't have to worry
about Rachel's college.

838
00:40:43,834 --> 00:40:45,002
But, we're homeless.

839
00:40:46,879 --> 00:40:49,214
Wow, that's quite a story.

840
00:40:50,215 --> 00:40:52,676
So all this started
with one mistake?

841
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,637
With a bunch of
smaller ones shooting off it.

842
00:40:55,721 --> 00:41:00,517
Kind of like when a spider egg
pops, and all these little

843
00:41:00,601 --> 00:41:04,730
spiders come and
bite you in the ass.

844
00:41:04,813 --> 00:41:06,690
Are you gonna eat that?

845
00:41:06,774 --> 00:41:08,442
No, please.

846
00:41:09,026 --> 00:41:10,360
Thank you.

847
00:41:11,278 --> 00:41:12,613
Listen, guys.

848
00:41:12,696 --> 00:41:14,114
I know someone.

849
00:41:14,198 --> 00:41:16,533
His name's Randall.
Let me give him a call.

850
00:41:16,617 --> 00:41:18,368
Frank, he might have
something for you.

851
00:41:18,452 --> 00:41:19,536
It'd be a start.

852
00:41:19,620 --> 00:41:21,330
Tyler,
that would be great.

853
00:41:21,413 --> 00:41:23,707
And we also still
have Wayne's cheque.

854
00:41:23,791 --> 00:41:25,584
We can always cash that.

855
00:41:26,919 --> 00:41:30,005
Frank, if you cash that cheque,
then it's no longer one mistake.

856
00:41:30,089 --> 00:41:31,256
It becomes a pattern.

857
00:41:31,340 --> 00:41:34,051
Exactly. That's what
I've been trying to tell him.

858
00:41:34,134 --> 00:41:37,387
But Tyler, desperation
is a bitch.

859
00:41:37,471 --> 00:41:42,059
Thank you so much for everything
that you've done to help us.

860
00:41:42,142 --> 00:41:45,229
So, you guys have your
work cut out for you.

861
00:41:45,312 --> 00:41:48,982
Just remember, grass can
grow through concrete.

862
00:41:50,234 --> 00:41:53,654
Did he say your ass can
grow through concrete?

863
00:41:53,737 --> 00:41:58,325
No, no, the phrase is "grass
can grow through concrete."

864
00:41:59,409 --> 00:42:01,161
Could I give you that, please?
Do you mind if I...?

865
00:42:01,245 --> 00:42:02,621
Thank you.

866
00:42:07,459 --> 00:42:10,129
Nancy, you're
gonna be all right.

867
00:42:14,591 --> 00:42:16,051
Don't panic, Nancy.

868
00:42:16,593 --> 00:42:18,345
You're gonna take a hot bath.

869
00:42:18,428 --> 00:42:20,556
You're gonna get fresh clothes,

870
00:42:20,639 --> 00:42:22,432
you're gonna do your
hair and makeup.

871
00:42:22,516 --> 00:42:24,852
In three minutes
you'll be yourself.

872
00:42:24,935 --> 00:42:27,062
What the fuck?

873
00:42:28,438 --> 00:42:30,274
Thank you for taking
this lunch, I know you're busy.

874
00:42:30,357 --> 00:42:31,567
No, of course.

875
00:42:31,650 --> 00:42:33,152
Tyler called me, told me a
little about your background.

876
00:42:33,235 --> 00:42:35,654
Well, I hope he exaggerated
in all the right places.

877
00:42:37,656 --> 00:42:39,324
That's my wife, I'm sorry.

878
00:42:39,867 --> 00:42:40,617
Hi honey.

879
00:42:40,701 --> 00:42:42,536
Dammit Frank. We're cursed.

880
00:42:42,619 --> 00:42:45,581
I am at Nigel's house,
and everything is gone.

881
00:42:45,664 --> 00:42:49,751
They took my purse, my
phone, Nigel's furniture.

882
00:42:49,835 --> 00:42:53,922
That guy Wayne was all
wrong, and we knew it.

883
00:42:54,006 --> 00:42:57,092
Now fuck it, they
stole everything!

884
00:42:57,176 --> 00:42:58,844
I see, uh.

885
00:42:58,927 --> 00:43:00,304
That's uh, yes.

886
00:43:00,387 --> 00:43:01,722
That's great.

887
00:43:01,805 --> 00:43:04,433
Thanks for calling, and
we'll celebrate later, okay?

888
00:43:04,516 --> 00:43:06,059
I'll see you. Bye.

889
00:43:06,143 --> 00:43:07,394
No, no, don't hang up.

890
00:43:07,477 --> 00:43:08,312
You okay?

891
00:43:08,395 --> 00:43:09,605
Uh, yeah, it's all good.

892
00:43:09,688 --> 00:43:13,525
My wife just got an article
published in Omni magazine.

893
00:43:14,359 --> 00:43:15,402
Great.

894
00:43:15,485 --> 00:43:17,029
Omni must be feeling good too.

895
00:43:17,112 --> 00:43:18,572
Be back up and running.

896
00:43:18,655 --> 00:43:19,698
I'm sorry?

897
00:43:19,781 --> 00:43:22,117
They folded about
two decades ago.

898
00:43:23,327 --> 00:43:24,745
Wow.

899
00:43:24,828 --> 00:43:27,748
Man plans and God
laughs, right? I mean-

900
00:43:27,831 --> 00:43:29,750
Everybody's got a
plan until you get...

901
00:43:30,500 --> 00:43:31,877
punched in the face.

902
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:33,045
Jesus.

903
00:43:33,128 --> 00:43:34,379
Sorry, Frank.

904
00:43:35,214 --> 00:43:36,340
I'm sorry.

905
00:43:36,423 --> 00:43:37,299
No, no.

906
00:43:37,382 --> 00:43:38,884
I'm Frank, you're...

907
00:43:38,967 --> 00:43:40,969
- Randall.
- Randall. Right.

908
00:43:41,053 --> 00:43:43,138
I'm sorry.
Can we start over again?

909
00:43:43,722 --> 00:43:44,598
Sure.

910
00:43:46,433 --> 00:43:48,143
Hi, I'm Frank.

911
00:44:09,748 --> 00:44:11,083
For God sake!

912
00:44:11,166 --> 00:44:13,877
Carl!
I just need to get a few things.

913
00:44:48,662 --> 00:44:51,248
You come in my house, you
come in my house, you like that?

914
00:44:51,331 --> 00:44:52,416
You like that?

915
00:44:58,171 --> 00:45:01,925
I'm sorry, my gosh,
did you change your hair?

916
00:45:05,846 --> 00:45:07,681
I'm so sorry about
the pepper spray,

917
00:45:07,764 --> 00:45:09,182
I thought you were an intruder.

918
00:45:09,266 --> 00:45:10,809
Not that you look
like an intruder.

919
00:45:10,892 --> 00:45:13,478
I'm against profiling,
not that I necessarily would

920
00:45:13,562 --> 00:45:17,566
want sushi from a redhead,
I prefer an Asian chap,

921
00:45:17,649 --> 00:45:19,151
if you know what I mean.

922
00:45:19,234 --> 00:45:20,777
Why didn't my key work?

923
00:45:20,861 --> 00:45:22,738
I had the locks changed.

924
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:24,406
You what?

925
00:45:24,489 --> 00:45:26,074
You can't change our locks.

926
00:45:26,158 --> 00:45:27,117
Carl?

927
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:28,577
Oh, um...

928
00:45:29,328 --> 00:45:31,038
This is not your house, Carl.

929
00:45:31,121 --> 00:45:32,247
I, look...

930
00:45:32,331 --> 00:45:34,249
What are you wearing?

931
00:45:34,333 --> 00:45:35,834
What, this?

932
00:45:35,917 --> 00:45:38,670
You know what, I uh,
I got you guys a key.

933
00:45:38,754 --> 00:45:40,088
Um.

934
00:45:40,172 --> 00:45:41,840
Uh, there you go.

935
00:45:42,799 --> 00:45:43,717
What the?

936
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:45,927
The wood's so you
don't misplace it.

937
00:45:46,011 --> 00:45:47,095
Carl.

938
00:45:47,846 --> 00:45:49,723
This is not a gas station.

939
00:45:49,806 --> 00:45:51,433
What is wrong with you?

940
00:45:52,351 --> 00:45:53,477
Whatever.

941
00:45:54,353 --> 00:45:56,646
I just need to get some
stuff from my closet.

942
00:45:57,814 --> 00:45:59,566
Your closet?

943
00:46:01,485 --> 00:46:02,778
Wha- what is this?

944
00:46:02,861 --> 00:46:04,905
I mean, what is this?

945
00:46:04,988 --> 00:46:06,448
Where's my stuff?

946
00:46:06,531 --> 00:46:07,949
What have you done
with my closet?

947
00:46:08,033 --> 00:46:09,826
I made it into a panic room.

948
00:46:09,910 --> 00:46:11,703
You can't do that, Carl.

949
00:46:11,787 --> 00:46:13,747
Remember, this is
not your house.

950
00:46:13,830 --> 00:46:15,582
Did you ever see the
Jody Foster movie?

951
00:46:15,665 --> 00:46:17,167
And please put a shirt on.

952
00:46:18,043 --> 00:46:20,670
I, I've been really
nervous lately.

953
00:46:20,754 --> 00:46:23,924
People have been ringing the
doorbell all day asking about

954
00:46:24,007 --> 00:46:27,469
the yard sale and then I was
really scared when I saw the

955
00:46:27,552 --> 00:46:30,806
video on the internet of
you and Frank being kidnapped

956
00:46:30,889 --> 00:46:32,140
with a shotgun.

957
00:46:32,224 --> 00:46:33,558
There's a video on the internet?

958
00:46:33,642 --> 00:46:35,268
Nancy, you're the
best part of it.

959
00:46:35,352 --> 00:46:36,728
You came across really real.

960
00:46:36,812 --> 00:46:39,606
I was real, you dumb fuck.

961
00:46:40,774 --> 00:46:43,693
Uh, we're locked in.

962
00:46:44,903 --> 00:46:48,156
Did you say
"catalytic converters?"

963
00:46:49,783 --> 00:46:52,244
Frank, I know it's not a
sexy business, but catalytic

964
00:46:52,327 --> 00:46:54,663
converters are like
mini treasure chests.

965
00:46:54,746 --> 00:46:57,791
We snip them off the cars,
smelt em down and sell off the

966
00:46:57,874 --> 00:46:59,000
expensive metals.

967
00:46:59,084 --> 00:47:01,253
Palladium, rhodium, platinum.

968
00:47:02,379 --> 00:47:04,047
Most cases, cat cons
are worth more than the

969
00:47:04,131 --> 00:47:05,173
junk cars themselves.

970
00:47:06,675 --> 00:47:09,761
You mean I would crawl
underneath the car,

971
00:47:09,845 --> 00:47:13,056
and snip them?
That's the job?

972
00:47:14,975 --> 00:47:16,810
Listen, Frank.
I'm gonna be honest.

973
00:47:18,145 --> 00:47:20,647
I could use the extra hand but
I don't need the extra hand.

974
00:47:21,940 --> 00:47:24,025
Tyler told me you needed a
leg up, this is what I got.

975
00:47:25,152 --> 00:47:27,237
I'm really glad you're here.

976
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:28,822
Me gusta.

977
00:47:29,865 --> 00:47:33,243
Ugh, aw jeez. That was...

978
00:47:33,326 --> 00:47:34,703
Ugh.

979
00:47:34,786 --> 00:47:36,455
That was--

980
00:47:36,538 --> 00:47:40,667
If you ever try anything like
that again, I am gonna kick your

981
00:47:40,750 --> 00:47:44,296
ass up and down this panic
room like an air hockey puck.

982
00:47:45,297 --> 00:47:46,631
Oh, okay.

983
00:47:50,010 --> 00:47:55,640
Thank you virgin, for making
Carl such a breathtaking moron.

984
00:47:57,767 --> 00:48:01,188
You forgot about the
attic hatch, Einstein.

985
00:48:03,023 --> 00:48:07,402
Hey, I'm sorry about
the misunderstanding.

986
00:48:07,486 --> 00:48:09,821
I guess I misread your signals.

987
00:48:09,905 --> 00:48:11,239
What signals?

988
00:48:11,323 --> 00:48:13,867
God, your legs are so strong.

989
00:48:13,950 --> 00:48:16,411
I guess it's from
running track, huh?

990
00:48:16,495 --> 00:48:17,746
I saw your medals.

991
00:48:17,829 --> 00:48:19,247
How did you find my medals?

992
00:48:19,331 --> 00:48:20,707
They were hidden in the garage.

993
00:48:20,790 --> 00:48:22,292
Yeah, way back there.

994
00:48:22,375 --> 00:48:24,169
And you should really
hide them better.

995
00:48:24,252 --> 00:48:26,505
You were the fastest on
the team, but what I don't

996
00:48:26,588 --> 00:48:29,758
understand is, in the relay,
why did you run fourth?

997
00:48:29,841 --> 00:48:31,760
Shouldn't the fastest
runner go first?

998
00:48:31,843 --> 00:48:33,470
Maybe you weren't the fastest.

999
00:48:33,553 --> 00:48:35,472
I was the fastest.

1000
00:48:35,555 --> 00:48:37,057
That's not the way it works.

1001
00:48:37,140 --> 00:48:39,226
When you're the fastest, you...

1002
00:48:39,309 --> 00:48:41,728
Oh, what am I doing,
why am I talking to you?

1003
00:48:41,811 --> 00:48:43,271
Please help me out.

1004
00:48:44,397 --> 00:48:46,399
The bottom line
is, I'm interested.

1005
00:48:46,483 --> 00:48:51,488
And I, I work hard, and I take
any job I do very seriously.

1006
00:48:52,489 --> 00:48:53,448
Okay.

1007
00:48:53,532 --> 00:48:55,617
Here comes the cold water.

1008
00:48:56,993 --> 00:48:59,246
We can only offer you about a
third of what you were making.

1009
00:48:59,329 --> 00:49:01,331
Tyler told me your
ballpark salary.

1010
00:49:01,414 --> 00:49:03,542
You did very, very well.

1011
00:49:03,625 --> 00:49:04,668
A third?

1012
00:49:05,877 --> 00:49:07,295
Listen, I wish it was different.

1013
00:49:07,379 --> 00:49:09,798
I used to make high-end five
figures over at Brent Talbot,

1014
00:49:09,881 --> 00:49:11,216
then the fan hit the shit.

1015
00:49:11,299 --> 00:49:14,135
Now, I got a sales staff of guys
longing for the days

1016
00:49:14,219 --> 00:49:17,430
of Hugo Boss suits and
paychecks with commas in 'em.

1017
00:49:18,682 --> 00:49:20,100
Frank, you think I like
crawling around in the dirt

1018
00:49:20,183 --> 00:49:21,643
snipping smoke sacks?

1019
00:49:22,852 --> 00:49:24,688
Shit, some days I look at one of
those cat cons and think

1020
00:49:24,771 --> 00:49:28,483
"I'll just wrap my lips
around it, take a deep breath,

1021
00:49:28,567 --> 00:49:30,402
go meet some dead relatives."

1022
00:49:30,485 --> 00:49:32,946
How old are you? 65?

1023
00:49:34,072 --> 00:49:35,073
66?

1024
00:49:35,740 --> 00:49:36,575
Anyways.

1025
00:49:36,658 --> 00:49:39,411
Guys your age
gotta adapt or die.

1026
00:49:40,161 --> 00:49:42,247
That's the new America.
Trust me.

1027
00:49:42,330 --> 00:49:44,082
I miss the old one, brother.

1028
00:49:45,959 --> 00:49:47,502
Uh, will you excuse me?

1029
00:49:47,586 --> 00:49:51,339
I'm fairly positive I
need to use the bathroom.

1030
00:49:53,008 --> 00:49:54,384
Get your hands off my ass.

1031
00:49:54,467 --> 00:49:55,343
You said push.

1032
00:49:55,427 --> 00:49:57,262
I said push, not fondle.

1033
00:49:57,345 --> 00:49:58,305
Watch the thumb.

1034
00:49:58,388 --> 00:50:00,682
Do you do squats?

1035
00:50:00,765 --> 00:50:02,309
It feels like you do squats.

1036
00:50:04,144 --> 00:50:05,770
You made it.

1037
00:50:05,854 --> 00:50:07,355
Now, lift me up.

1038
00:50:07,856 --> 00:50:09,399
I get claustrophobic.

1039
00:50:09,482 --> 00:50:11,067
No, no.

1040
00:50:12,110 --> 00:50:13,945
First you have to
tell me what you did.

1041
00:50:14,029 --> 00:50:16,364
And no lies, no bullshit.

1042
00:50:16,448 --> 00:50:18,908
You have to tell me, or
I'll leave you there.

1043
00:50:18,992 --> 00:50:20,827
You'll rot.
And I'll just come

1044
00:50:20,910 --> 00:50:23,872
and sprinkle some lime
just to mask the smell.

1045
00:50:24,914 --> 00:50:25,915
I...

1046
00:50:25,999 --> 00:50:29,252
you might not understand.

1047
00:50:31,129 --> 00:50:32,047
True.

1048
00:50:32,130 --> 00:50:34,174
It's a roll of the dice.

1049
00:50:39,888 --> 00:50:42,015
I was swimming in the ocean,

1050
00:50:42,098 --> 00:50:44,559
I was in the water
for a couple hours.

1051
00:50:44,643 --> 00:50:45,977
I...

1052
00:50:46,061 --> 00:50:49,939
I had to pee,
I took off my shorts,

1053
00:50:50,023 --> 00:50:52,859
then I felt something
brush against my leg.

1054
00:50:52,942 --> 00:50:54,402
I knew it was a shark.

1055
00:50:54,486 --> 00:50:58,365
I knew in that moment, and I
know to this day it was a shark,

1056
00:50:58,448 --> 00:50:59,574
and...

1057
00:51:00,950 --> 00:51:04,454
I started swimming to
shore, trying not to panic.

1058
00:51:05,664 --> 00:51:09,125
I saw that there were
some kids swimming there.

1059
00:51:10,418 --> 00:51:14,964
So I was carrying three of
them, trudging and tripping

1060
00:51:15,048 --> 00:51:16,257
and yelling for help.

1061
00:51:16,341 --> 00:51:19,219
The kids were screaming, I
thought they had seen the shark.

1062
00:51:19,302 --> 00:51:21,888
They hadn't, they, um,

1063
00:51:23,098 --> 00:51:26,518
they were frightened
of me, a naked guy.

1064
00:51:28,269 --> 00:51:30,480
My life...

1065
00:51:30,563 --> 00:51:33,066
got pretty hard after that.

1066
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:36,945
It's true, isn't it?

1067
00:51:39,030 --> 00:51:40,240
Yeah.

1068
00:51:41,783 --> 00:51:43,159
It is.

1069
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:48,957
You say all these
crazy stupid things.

1070
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:52,711
But when you suddenly say
something without bullshit,

1071
00:51:53,795 --> 00:51:55,922
Now I know it's true and good.

1072
00:51:56,005 --> 00:51:59,384
But just in case, I'm gonna
leave you there until after

1073
00:51:59,467 --> 00:52:00,260
I take my shower.

1074
00:52:00,343 --> 00:52:02,470
Oh, you know what,
there's some...

1075
00:52:02,554 --> 00:52:05,390
shampoo in my purse on
the kitchen counter.

1076
00:52:05,473 --> 00:52:08,184
Oh, I refilled your
birth control pills.

1077
00:52:08,268 --> 00:52:09,769
You were running low.

1078
00:52:09,853 --> 00:52:11,312
Ha!

1079
00:52:14,441 --> 00:52:17,360
No, no, no, no... No!

1080
00:52:17,444 --> 00:52:18,528
No! No!

1081
00:52:42,677 --> 00:52:44,763
All you perverts
out there watching,

1082
00:52:44,846 --> 00:52:46,681
this might happen to you.

1083
00:52:48,975 --> 00:52:50,477
You might die!

1084
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:51,811
What the?

1085
00:52:51,895 --> 00:52:53,855
Holy shit, it's him.
The guy from the video!

1086
00:52:53,938 --> 00:52:55,106
No, this is a mistake.

1087
00:52:55,190 --> 00:52:56,524
Die!

1088
00:52:56,608 --> 00:52:58,151
Dude, you're like the No. 1

1089
00:52:58,234 --> 00:52:59,778
trending pervert on
the internet right now.

1090
00:52:59,861 --> 00:53:01,946
My god, why is this happening?

1091
00:53:17,670 --> 00:53:18,755
Stop the truck, Wayne.

1092
00:53:18,838 --> 00:53:20,048
Shit, you again?

1093
00:53:20,131 --> 00:53:21,508
You have my furniture.

1094
00:53:21,591 --> 00:53:24,260
Oh, it's not yours, that house
wasn't yours, and the furniture

1095
00:53:24,344 --> 00:53:25,595
definitely wasn't yours.

1096
00:53:25,678 --> 00:53:27,430
Pull over, Wayne, I
need that furniture.

1097
00:53:27,514 --> 00:53:29,098
You know what you're gonna need?
You're going to need to

1098
00:53:29,182 --> 00:53:31,392
go to a fucking hospital,
that's what you're gonna need.

1099
00:53:31,476 --> 00:53:32,811
I'm gonna put you
in jail, Wayne.

1100
00:53:32,894 --> 00:53:35,063
Oh, you don't have the
balls to call the cops.

1101
00:53:35,146 --> 00:53:37,607
You suck at this crime stuff.

1102
00:53:37,690 --> 00:53:39,025
You know what I'm gonna do?

1103
00:53:39,108 --> 00:53:39,984
You ain't gonna do shit.

1104
00:53:40,068 --> 00:53:41,945
Wayne, I'm gonna
throw a rock at you.

1105
00:53:42,028 --> 00:53:43,279
I pitched in college.

1106
00:53:43,363 --> 00:53:45,949
You probably caught in college.
Dickhead.

1107
00:53:48,243 --> 00:53:49,327
Oh shit...

1108
00:53:49,410 --> 00:53:51,746
Son of a bitch.

1109
00:53:57,335 --> 00:53:58,711
Holy shit,
are you okay?

1110
00:53:58,795 --> 00:54:00,713
You hit a fucking pedestrian.

1111
00:54:06,386 --> 00:54:07,470
Sorry, Wayne.

1112
00:54:08,972 --> 00:54:11,391
Hey! Hey!

1113
00:54:11,766 --> 00:54:13,935
Get back here, you asshole!

1114
00:54:24,654 --> 00:54:26,489
What fresh hell is this?

1115
00:54:27,740 --> 00:54:28,867
Dios mio!

1116
00:54:28,950 --> 00:54:30,410
No, no, no, I didn't...

1117
00:54:30,910 --> 00:54:32,620
Ohm...

1118
00:54:39,878 --> 00:54:42,046
Ommmm.

1119
00:54:47,260 --> 00:54:49,679
Shit, shit.
Now what?

1120
00:55:03,067 --> 00:55:04,652
- Frank!
- Shit!

1121
00:55:04,736 --> 00:55:06,070
Panic room! Car gone!

1122
00:55:06,154 --> 00:55:07,363
Keep walking, the cops.

1123
00:55:07,447 --> 00:55:08,865
Found Nigel's stuff,
don't look over.

1124
00:55:08,948 --> 00:55:10,366
It's in the back of the truck.
Don't look over.

1125
00:55:10,450 --> 00:55:11,534
Excuse me.

1126
00:55:12,911 --> 00:55:15,288
Hi. Are you
Mr. Bathgate's neighbours?

1127
00:55:15,830 --> 00:55:17,165
Yes, officer.

1128
00:55:17,248 --> 00:55:19,709
Yeah, we got a report of
a burglary at his house,

1129
00:55:19,792 --> 00:55:22,420
suspicious activity.
Have you seen anything?

1130
00:55:22,503 --> 00:55:25,131
A burglary?
What, at Nigel's house?

1131
00:55:26,090 --> 00:55:27,467
Good sweet Christ,

1132
00:55:27,550 --> 00:55:30,345
what is happening to our
sweet little neighbourhood?

1133
00:55:30,428 --> 00:55:32,430
Uh, are you okay sir?

1134
00:55:32,513 --> 00:55:33,806
No.

1135
00:55:33,890 --> 00:55:37,352
I'm devastated beyond reason.

1136
00:55:42,649 --> 00:55:43,900
Sweet Christ.

1137
00:55:44,943 --> 00:55:46,778
You know, I wasn't into that.

1138
00:55:46,861 --> 00:55:48,404
Never?

1139
00:55:48,947 --> 00:55:50,239
Not really.

1140
00:55:51,240 --> 00:55:52,951
Not even in a school
play or anything?

1141
00:55:53,034 --> 00:55:54,369
Yeah, I was never into drama.

1142
00:55:54,452 --> 00:55:56,996
I mean, sure, in the third
grade I played a teacup.

1143
00:55:57,080 --> 00:56:00,208
Why all the questions
about acting?

1144
00:56:00,291 --> 00:56:02,293
You think I came across as fake?

1145
00:56:02,377 --> 00:56:04,420
I think there's better acting
every time Larry King says

1146
00:56:04,504 --> 00:56:06,923
- "til death do us part."
- That's very funny.

1147
00:56:07,006 --> 00:56:08,633
You wanna hear something
else that's funny?

1148
00:56:08,716 --> 00:56:10,927
There's a video of us getting
kidnapped on YouTube.

1149
00:56:11,010 --> 00:56:12,303
I know.

1150
00:56:19,519 --> 00:56:22,230
You don't know how many times
I've fantasized about getting

1151
00:56:22,313 --> 00:56:25,858
rid of you for at least two
months, but now that I'm going

1152
00:56:25,942 --> 00:56:29,946
to yail, I'm going to be
devastated without you.

1153
00:56:30,780 --> 00:56:32,198
You're going back to college?

1154
00:56:32,281 --> 00:56:35,994
You know that when I say
"yail" I mean prison.

1155
00:56:42,041 --> 00:56:46,045
Using his mother's house, and by
that I mean his mother's garage.

1156
00:56:47,463 --> 00:56:50,466
I'm sure Jason's home, rubbing
his mother's feet or something.

1157
00:56:50,550 --> 00:56:52,218
We know you're in there, Jason.

1158
00:56:57,348 --> 00:56:58,558
Hi.

1159
00:56:58,641 --> 00:57:01,769
Oh, hey, hi Mr. and
Mrs. Teagarten. Is that...

1160
00:57:01,853 --> 00:57:03,271
actually, I wasn't hiding.

1161
00:57:03,354 --> 00:57:04,564
Is everything okay?

1162
00:57:04,647 --> 00:57:05,732
Why wouldn't it be, Jason?

1163
00:57:05,815 --> 00:57:07,483
It's just that you've
never been to my house

1164
00:57:07,567 --> 00:57:10,111
before in like two years
and it's what, 10:00 PM?

1165
00:57:10,194 --> 00:57:12,989
Actually, it isn't
okay, and you can help.

1166
00:57:13,072 --> 00:57:14,782
Rachel's always saying
that you're some kind

1167
00:57:14,866 --> 00:57:15,992
of computer genius.

1168
00:57:16,075 --> 00:57:17,827
She says I'm a computer genius?

1169
00:57:17,910 --> 00:57:19,287
That's very sweet.

1170
00:57:19,370 --> 00:57:21,122
I'm sure it was like a
throwaway, like an aside,

1171
00:57:21,205 --> 00:57:22,331
you know, "he's
a computer genius"

1172
00:57:22,415 --> 00:57:23,708
you know, just like saying...

1173
00:57:23,791 --> 00:57:25,543
Oh, you know what, I bet it's
cause she knows it's on my dream

1174
00:57:25,626 --> 00:57:27,712
boards to become a computer
genius. I bet that's where that

1175
00:57:27,795 --> 00:57:29,505
came from. Did she actually
say that, like in an email,

1176
00:57:29,589 --> 00:57:30,757
or was it in
person to you just...

1177
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:32,550
Jason!
This isn't about you!

1178
00:57:32,633 --> 00:57:35,219
We need your help with
a video of me and Nancy.

1179
00:57:37,346 --> 00:57:38,306
Okay.

1180
00:57:38,389 --> 00:57:42,685
So you want me to make
a video of you guys?

1181
00:57:43,978 --> 00:57:44,812
No.

1182
00:57:44,896 --> 00:57:46,230
Get your mind
out of the gutter!

1183
00:57:46,314 --> 00:57:48,316
Good lord Jason,
you take the cake.

1184
00:57:50,693 --> 00:57:53,071
It's so much more
fucked up than that.

1185
00:57:53,154 --> 00:57:55,364
Die!!

1186
00:57:55,448 --> 00:57:57,700
Look at this.
This is insane.

1187
00:57:57,784 --> 00:57:59,202
When did this happen?

1188
00:57:59,285 --> 00:58:01,204
It feels like in
another lifetime.

1189
00:58:01,287 --> 00:58:03,081
Yet also like Tuesday.

1190
00:58:03,164 --> 00:58:04,707
Okay, well, we have
to call the police.

1191
00:58:04,791 --> 00:58:06,042
No, no. No police.

1192
00:58:06,125 --> 00:58:08,086
It was a misunderstanding
but everything's okay now.

1193
00:58:08,169 --> 00:58:09,670
It was a hiccup.

1194
00:58:09,754 --> 00:58:11,798
A hiccup?
You being kidnapped?

1195
00:58:11,881 --> 00:58:14,092
A hiccup.
It was a hiccup. A hiccup.

1196
00:58:14,175 --> 00:58:16,427
You don't call 911 every time
you have the hiccups do you, no.

1197
00:58:16,511 --> 00:58:17,929
I mean, maybe you
do, but I don't.

1198
00:58:18,012 --> 00:58:19,347
Listen, Jason.

1199
00:58:19,430 --> 00:58:21,849
We don't want
Rachel to see this.

1200
00:58:21,933 --> 00:58:23,351
She would only worry.

1201
00:58:23,434 --> 00:58:26,145
That's why we must
take this down.

1202
00:58:26,229 --> 00:58:28,022
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shouldn't be a problem.

1203
00:58:28,106 --> 00:58:29,816
Although, these guys
should be punished though,

1204
00:58:29,899 --> 00:58:32,652
cause they cannot do that.
Especially to you guys. I mean-

1205
00:58:34,987 --> 00:58:36,656
Oh my god, okay, that's actually
Rachel Skyping me right now.

1206
00:58:36,739 --> 00:58:37,698
We're not here.

1207
00:58:37,782 --> 00:58:38,908
She'll know there's
something wrong.

1208
00:58:38,991 --> 00:58:40,743
We would only be here with
you if we were desperate.

1209
00:58:40,827 --> 00:58:43,538
No, no, I want to see her
little face, even if it's for

1210
00:58:43,621 --> 00:58:46,666
just a second. We can hide,
she won't know we're here,

1211
00:58:46,749 --> 00:58:47,708
please, please, please.

1212
00:58:47,792 --> 00:58:48,543
All right, go ahead.

1213
00:58:48,626 --> 00:58:50,169
Really? Okay.

1214
00:58:52,296 --> 00:58:53,840
Yo, hey Rach.
What's up?

1215
00:58:53,923 --> 00:58:55,550
I can only talk
for a few minutes.

1216
00:58:55,633 --> 00:58:59,720
Jessie is a great roommate, but
she's throwing her third party

1217
00:58:59,804 --> 00:59:01,222
in four days, and she's...

1218
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:03,891
Jason?

1219
00:59:03,975 --> 00:59:05,309
Are you okay?

1220
00:59:05,393 --> 00:59:06,853
What? I'm fine.

1221
00:59:06,936 --> 00:59:08,855
That's... how about you?

1222
00:59:08,938 --> 00:59:11,482
Well, actually,
I'm a little worried.

1223
00:59:11,566 --> 00:59:13,985
My mom called, and
I tried calling her back,

1224
00:59:14,068 --> 00:59:15,194
and she's not picking up.

1225
00:59:15,278 --> 00:59:17,738
Oh, uh,
that's, you know.

1226
00:59:17,822 --> 00:59:20,658
It's her, cause her phone,
it's um, her phone is broken.

1227
00:59:20,741 --> 00:59:22,076
You saw her?

1228
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:23,536
Yeah, they had a
yard sale yesterday.

1229
00:59:23,619 --> 00:59:25,037
A yard sale?

1230
00:59:25,121 --> 00:59:27,206
No, that's.. I'm sorry,
"yard sale," what's...

1231
00:59:27,290 --> 00:59:29,250
no, they were, cause they
were in the yard, so...

1232
00:59:29,333 --> 00:59:30,918
I ran into them cause
I took a shortcut.

1233
00:59:31,002 --> 00:59:34,630
Um, to, to go to work at
Staples, where I am the

1234
00:59:34,714 --> 00:59:35,923
assistant manager.

1235
00:59:36,007 --> 00:59:38,926
This is weird.
Mom always calls me right back.

1236
00:59:39,010 --> 00:59:40,136
This isn't like her.

1237
00:59:40,219 --> 00:59:44,682
Well, it could be 'cause
she's singing and dancing,

1238
00:59:44,765 --> 00:59:46,100
and also blowing someone.

1239
00:59:46,184 --> 00:59:48,186
Uh, her birthday. Isn't
it her birthday pretty soon?

1240
00:59:48,269 --> 00:59:50,855
Oh of course, poor mom.

1241
00:59:51,814 --> 00:59:55,276
Jason, I should surprise her.

1242
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:58,321
I'll come home for her
birthday, she'll love that.

1243
00:59:58,404 --> 00:59:59,614
Yeah, yeah, they both would.

1244
00:59:59,697 --> 01:00:00,823
Yeah, they would both
love that for sure.

1245
01:00:00,907 --> 01:00:01,824
You should come on down.

1246
01:00:01,908 --> 01:00:03,159
I'll try dad, he'll love it.

1247
01:00:03,242 --> 01:00:05,703
I'll get tulips, tulips are her
favourite flowers, and I'll

1248
01:00:05,786 --> 01:00:08,456
invite all her sisters, and
everyone will be there...

1249
01:00:14,420 --> 01:00:15,796
That's funny, you hear that?

1250
01:00:17,006 --> 01:00:19,133
It's my dad's ringtone.

1251
01:00:22,511 --> 01:00:24,013
Okay, you know what, Rachel?

1252
01:00:24,096 --> 01:00:25,556
I really gotta
tell you something.

1253
01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:26,682
Actually, your parents...

1254
01:00:29,227 --> 01:00:32,521
Jason, you really are a little
quisling, you know that?

1255
01:00:32,605 --> 01:00:34,982
Okay, he was from Norway.

1256
01:00:35,066 --> 01:00:37,693
I felt terrible
lying to Rachel.

1257
01:00:37,777 --> 01:00:40,238
I understand, because you never
know when the lies are going to

1258
01:00:40,321 --> 01:00:43,824
stop and they just keep coming.
Pushing you out of the way,

1259
01:00:43,908 --> 01:00:46,786
taking over
your life completely.

1260
01:00:46,869 --> 01:00:49,830
What a beautiful street.

1261
01:00:49,914 --> 01:00:51,207
Do you have raccoons?

1262
01:00:51,290 --> 01:00:53,501
Yeah, sporadically.

1263
01:00:53,584 --> 01:00:54,627
I love them.

1264
01:00:54,710 --> 01:00:55,920
Is that your guy's moving truck?

1265
01:00:56,003 --> 01:00:58,923
No. Well, yes, we're just
trying to sell a few things.

1266
01:00:59,006 --> 01:01:00,675
From the back of a truck?

1267
01:01:00,758 --> 01:01:02,969
Eh, we're trying to
finish off our yard sale.

1268
01:01:03,052 --> 01:01:05,388
For the truck and the computer,
using that, uh, Skype thing.

1269
01:01:05,471 --> 01:01:06,389
Anyhow.

1270
01:01:06,472 --> 01:01:07,890
You mean like a
virtual yard sale?

1271
01:01:07,974 --> 01:01:10,685
Wow, did you come up with
that idea, Mr. Teagarten?

1272
01:01:10,768 --> 01:01:11,978
What? Uh, yeah, sure.

1273
01:01:12,061 --> 01:01:13,062
Anyway, thanks for
your help and...

1274
01:01:13,145 --> 01:01:14,438
That's genius!
Do you see the potential?

1275
01:01:14,522 --> 01:01:16,357
Not one iota.
We gotta run now.

1276
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:19,068
Wait, Mr. and Mrs. Teagarten,
I think there's something

1277
01:01:19,151 --> 01:01:20,069
I need to show you.

1278
01:01:20,152 --> 01:01:22,280
For the love of Christ,
Jason, what is it?

1279
01:01:27,743 --> 01:01:30,079
So the park was actually
built in the '50s, it kind of

1280
01:01:30,162 --> 01:01:33,833
fell on hard times, was vacant
for a while, so some friends

1281
01:01:33,916 --> 01:01:36,919
and I we pooled our money and
bought it, and we spent the

1282
01:01:37,003 --> 01:01:38,963
last two years
just fixing it up.

1283
01:01:39,046 --> 01:01:41,048
Jason, this is amazing.

1284
01:01:41,132 --> 01:01:42,341
Thank you.

1285
01:01:44,927 --> 01:01:46,387
This is what I
wanted to show you.

1286
01:01:46,470 --> 01:01:49,223
All of our trailer homes have a
storage space, because people

1287
01:01:49,307 --> 01:01:51,642
are downsizing from
like 3500 square feet.

1288
01:01:51,726 --> 01:01:54,603
These days I guess it's
like that everywhere.

1289
01:01:54,687 --> 01:01:57,064
So this is where your
virtual yard sale comes in.

1290
01:01:57,148 --> 01:02:01,110
You can upload streaming video
and people can browse it,

1291
01:02:01,193 --> 01:02:02,486
like in real time.

1292
01:02:02,570 --> 01:02:05,740
So you've got almost a live yard
sale, but you're bidding like

1293
01:02:05,823 --> 01:02:09,785
eBay online, so you call
it something like YardBay.

1294
01:02:11,245 --> 01:02:14,123
I'm sure you've thought all this
through, but I'd love to help,

1295
01:02:14,206 --> 01:02:15,875
I can computer
code it all for you.

1296
01:02:19,003 --> 01:02:19,962
Hello?

1297
01:02:21,172 --> 01:02:22,298
No, Mr. Teagarten no here.

1298
01:02:22,381 --> 01:02:23,966
Call back later.

1299
01:02:25,301 --> 01:02:28,179
He in the shower now, washing
his body with shampoo and honey.

1300
01:02:29,180 --> 01:02:30,806
He have a shingles.

1301
01:02:34,143 --> 01:02:36,520
That was an old fraternity
buddy of mine, Clyde Drexler.

1302
01:02:37,355 --> 01:02:38,814
I mean, he's a fan
of Clyde Drexler.

1303
01:02:38,898 --> 01:02:39,523
Mm-hmm.

1304
01:02:39,607 --> 01:02:40,608
Trailblazers.

1305
01:02:40,691 --> 01:02:43,277
Um, anyway, uh, thanks
for the tour Jason.

1306
01:02:43,361 --> 01:02:45,446
This was impressive.
Mobile homes and crap.

1307
01:02:45,529 --> 01:02:47,907
I'm sorry, that
sounded patronizing.

1308
01:02:47,990 --> 01:02:49,950
Food for thought.

1309
01:02:50,034 --> 01:02:51,452
Thanks for your
help with the video.

1310
01:02:51,535 --> 01:02:52,745
Anytime.

1311
01:02:57,249 --> 01:02:58,918
Boy,
Jason sure can talk.

1312
01:03:00,044 --> 01:03:01,337
Okay, I better call Randall
and tell him I'll take that

1313
01:03:01,420 --> 01:03:03,214
catalytic converter job.

1314
01:03:04,632 --> 01:03:07,009
Okay, I'm
gonna go get a Baby Ruth.

1315
01:03:08,594 --> 01:03:10,262
A Baby Ruth?

1316
01:03:17,103 --> 01:03:18,104
Shit.

1317
01:03:22,525 --> 01:03:23,609
Excuse me.

1318
01:03:24,235 --> 01:03:25,653
Hey, I'm sorry to bother ya.

1319
01:03:25,736 --> 01:03:28,614
Do you have any change, or
better yet, do you mind if I use

1320
01:03:28,697 --> 01:03:30,741
your cell phone, it's
kind of an emergency.

1321
01:03:30,825 --> 01:03:32,618
A Baby Ruth candy bar.

1322
01:03:32,701 --> 01:03:34,537
Oh, Baby Ruth.

1323
01:03:34,620 --> 01:03:36,372
I thought you said Zagnut.

1324
01:03:36,455 --> 01:03:37,623
Uh, do you have one?

1325
01:03:37,706 --> 01:03:39,166
Yeah, let me check in the back.

1326
01:03:39,250 --> 01:03:41,001
I'll take two if you have em.

1327
01:03:42,878 --> 01:03:43,796
Buddy, cool off.

1328
01:03:43,879 --> 01:03:46,006
I'm not trying to cause
any problems here.

1329
01:03:46,090 --> 01:03:49,510
You act like you got 50 kilos
back there or something.

1330
01:03:49,593 --> 01:03:52,179
Oh, by the way, how much are...
What? What?

1331
01:03:52,263 --> 01:03:54,682
Frank? Frank! Frank!

1332
01:04:02,648 --> 01:04:05,568
I found the
king size, is that okay?

1333
01:04:09,530 --> 01:04:12,283
Hello? King size okay?

1334
01:04:14,118 --> 01:04:17,037
You try that
again, motherfucker?

1335
01:04:17,121 --> 01:04:18,873
I'm gonna bust
your fucking head open.

1336
01:04:22,668 --> 01:04:24,462
Everybody put your
hands where I can see em!

1337
01:04:24,545 --> 01:04:25,588
On the ground!

1338
01:04:25,671 --> 01:04:27,298
Get on the ground now!

1339
01:04:36,932 --> 01:04:38,267
Jackpot.

1340
01:04:44,982 --> 01:04:46,901
Turns out it was 120 kilos.

1341
01:04:47,359 --> 01:04:49,612
Teagarten.
Frank Teagarten.

1342
01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:54,867
FBI wants to talk to you.
Come on.

1343
01:04:54,950 --> 01:04:56,869
The FBI wants to talk to me?
Why?

1344
01:04:57,828 --> 01:04:59,205
They think you're good lookin'.
Come on.

1345
01:05:02,208 --> 01:05:03,167
Not you.

1346
01:05:14,053 --> 01:05:15,095
Are you okay?

1347
01:05:17,806 --> 01:05:20,100
It seems to me you're
as scared as I am.

1348
01:05:21,352 --> 01:05:23,145
I'm not scared for myself.

1349
01:05:25,940 --> 01:05:27,274
For my daughter.

1350
01:05:28,442 --> 01:05:29,818
We're done talkin'.

1351
01:05:35,783 --> 01:05:37,535
I have a daughter, too.

1352
01:05:38,661 --> 01:05:41,497
Our biggest fear in life
was to disappoint her.

1353
01:05:43,832 --> 01:05:47,878
I'm so ashamed and
worried, and...

1354
01:05:47,962 --> 01:05:50,172
Don't be bitching
to me about your rich life

1355
01:05:50,256 --> 01:05:52,007
and your spoiled brat daughter.

1356
01:05:52,091 --> 01:05:53,676
You know, you're gonna be out
of here in a minute,

1357
01:05:53,759 --> 01:05:55,427
and she'll have her mommy back.

1358
01:05:55,511 --> 01:05:58,973
But now thanks to you, I'm stuck
in here for god knows how long.

1359
01:05:59,056 --> 01:06:00,391
Yeah.

1360
01:06:00,474 --> 01:06:06,063
I will get out, but I will still
be a good-for-nothing fuckup.

1361
01:06:07,481 --> 01:06:10,317
And that might not mean a lot to
you, since it looks like you've

1362
01:06:10,401 --> 01:06:15,447
been a fuckup for a while, but
we only fucked up for one week.

1363
01:06:15,531 --> 01:06:20,202
One week, is all it took
for us to ruin her life.

1364
01:06:20,286 --> 01:06:23,831
She's only 19, and now she's...

1365
01:06:23,914 --> 01:06:24,999
Are you kidding me?

1366
01:06:25,082 --> 01:06:26,834
Your daughter's 19.

1367
01:06:26,917 --> 01:06:28,294
She's supposed to be
taking care of herself.

1368
01:06:29,128 --> 01:06:32,631
My Rose, she's only 7.

1369
01:06:34,091 --> 01:06:37,761
And now, she's all
alone in the world.

1370
01:06:38,596 --> 01:06:39,847
She's got nobody.

1371
01:06:43,976 --> 01:06:48,230
Woman, you have no
idea what shame is.

1372
01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:50,816
Shit.

1373
01:06:50,899 --> 01:06:52,651
You win.

1374
01:06:55,487 --> 01:06:56,905
Hey, Frank.

1375
01:06:56,989 --> 01:06:58,866
I'm special agent Milhouse.

1376
01:06:58,949 --> 01:07:01,285
This is special agent Barnes.

1377
01:07:01,368 --> 01:07:02,536
Weird night, huh?

1378
01:07:02,620 --> 01:07:03,704
- Yeah.
- God.

1379
01:07:03,787 --> 01:07:06,790
120 kilos of Norteno Cocaine.

1380
01:07:06,874 --> 01:07:08,375
A hell of a bust.

1381
01:07:08,459 --> 01:07:09,543
Yeah.

1382
01:07:09,627 --> 01:07:12,588
You know that we had nothing
to do with this, right?

1383
01:07:12,671 --> 01:07:16,050
Oh, so you think that
we just send out our whole

1384
01:07:16,133 --> 01:07:17,926
field office just for fun.

1385
01:07:18,844 --> 01:07:20,054
This is what we know.

1386
01:07:20,137 --> 01:07:22,389
We've been tailing Chope for
three days, since he entered

1387
01:07:22,473 --> 01:07:23,807
the United States.

1388
01:07:23,891 --> 01:07:26,393
Next thing we know, the three
of you are in a Kwik-E-Mart

1389
01:07:26,477 --> 01:07:29,563
parking lot free for all, so I
think we've got a problem here,

1390
01:07:29,647 --> 01:07:30,981
don't you?

1391
01:07:31,065 --> 01:07:32,608
Frank, if you want to get out
of here tonight, you've got to

1392
01:07:32,691 --> 01:07:34,902
convince us you're not
some big rich drug lord.

1393
01:07:34,985 --> 01:07:36,445
Like, for real.

1394
01:07:38,572 --> 01:07:40,991
Hello?
Mr. Teagarten no home, his phone

1395
01:07:41,075 --> 01:07:44,453
went through a snow blower,
and he chop his head right off.

1396
01:07:49,875 --> 01:07:52,419
I guess owing 300
bucks to Mastercard helped

1397
01:07:52,503 --> 01:07:55,547
convince them we aren't
Mr. and Mrs. El Chapo.

1398
01:07:55,631 --> 01:07:58,550
I can't help thinking
about that little girl.

1399
01:07:58,634 --> 01:08:00,010
Nancy, what are you gonna do?

1400
01:08:00,094 --> 01:08:02,971
Have her come live with us in
this fucking Perri Winkle truck?

1401
01:08:06,225 --> 01:08:07,726
God, this day sucked.

1402
01:08:09,687 --> 01:08:12,690
Carl, he found my medals.

1403
01:08:13,524 --> 01:08:14,566
How did he find them?

1404
01:08:14,650 --> 01:08:16,026
He's a sneaky motherfucker.

1405
01:08:16,110 --> 01:08:20,572
But those medals made me
remember that I used to win.

1406
01:08:21,699 --> 01:08:23,409
I used to have an edge.

1407
01:08:24,702 --> 01:08:27,955
This week, I've cried more
than I have ever cried before,

1408
01:08:29,164 --> 01:08:31,375
and for things that I
would have never cried about

1409
01:08:31,458 --> 01:08:32,918
in the old days.

1410
01:08:34,712 --> 01:08:38,799
It's like I've become
this person I don't know,

1411
01:08:38,882 --> 01:08:40,134
and I don't like.

1412
01:08:41,301 --> 01:08:42,511
Where is this headed?

1413
01:08:45,097 --> 01:08:46,890
We need to talk to Dan.

1414
01:08:46,974 --> 01:08:48,350
Why, and beg for money?

1415
01:08:48,434 --> 01:08:49,476
That's not getting
your edge back.

1416
01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:51,145
That's surrendering,
not winning.

1417
01:08:51,228 --> 01:08:53,814
Guys like Dan, they take
advantage of weakness.

1418
01:08:55,816 --> 01:08:57,317
I'll figure it out.

1419
01:08:59,069 --> 01:09:00,320
I think.

1420
01:09:01,947 --> 01:09:05,284
I bet Rachel used to take
one of those buses to school.

1421
01:09:06,577 --> 01:09:09,246
Long ago, back in the time
when she used to look up to me

1422
01:09:09,329 --> 01:09:10,998
like I was Superman.

1423
01:09:13,917 --> 01:09:15,878
Oh, Frank.

1424
01:09:20,424 --> 01:09:21,967
You crying?

1425
01:09:23,594 --> 01:09:26,430
You were crying.
What a pussy.

1426
01:09:26,513 --> 01:09:27,806
No, I'm not crying.

1427
01:09:27,890 --> 01:09:31,018
But if I was, it's
because good god.

1428
01:09:31,101 --> 01:09:32,394
It's because the
two of you reek.

1429
01:09:32,478 --> 01:09:33,896
Fuck you.

1430
01:09:33,979 --> 01:09:35,981
Hey, you got 10 bucks?
For gas?

1431
01:09:36,064 --> 01:09:38,609
Wow, what timing you have, bum.

1432
01:09:38,692 --> 01:09:40,444
No, actually, we don't
have 10 bucks for gas.

1433
01:09:40,527 --> 01:09:41,904
Liar.

1434
01:09:41,987 --> 01:09:43,697
That's some high-end furniture
you got there, rich asshole.

1435
01:09:43,781 --> 01:09:44,948
Rich?

1436
01:09:45,032 --> 01:09:47,409
You have completely misread
our situation, my man.

1437
01:09:47,493 --> 01:09:49,369
Oh, woah, woah.
I'm not your man.

1438
01:09:49,453 --> 01:09:51,455
He's not your man, fish face.

1439
01:09:52,873 --> 01:09:55,000
I don't think anybody's ever
called me fish face before.

1440
01:09:55,083 --> 01:09:56,460
Good.

1441
01:09:56,543 --> 01:09:58,378
You believe this pile of
fish face, calling me "his man?"

1442
01:09:58,462 --> 01:10:01,381
I'm not your man, so fuck you.

1443
01:10:01,465 --> 01:10:04,551
No, no. It's, uh,
it's more like fuck you.

1444
01:10:04,635 --> 01:10:06,887
I'm sorry, you're not
understanding what we're saying.

1445
01:10:06,970 --> 01:10:08,222
Fuck you.

1446
01:10:08,305 --> 01:10:09,306
What's your name?

1447
01:10:09,389 --> 01:10:10,140
Will.

1448
01:10:10,224 --> 01:10:11,058
What's your name?

1449
01:10:11,141 --> 01:10:12,309
Colin.

1450
01:10:12,392 --> 01:10:14,228
Will, Collin.

1451
01:10:15,103 --> 01:10:16,396
Fuck you.

1452
01:10:17,856 --> 01:10:19,107
Fish face.

1453
01:10:24,530 --> 01:10:25,614
So?

1454
01:10:25,697 --> 01:10:27,241
How long do we sit here for?

1455
01:10:27,324 --> 01:10:28,534
I'm not sure.

1456
01:10:29,493 --> 01:10:31,745
Hey. What are
you doing out there?

1457
01:10:33,872 --> 01:10:35,207
So, what do we got here?

1458
01:10:36,208 --> 01:10:37,417
Where's the other bum?

1459
01:10:37,501 --> 01:10:38,418
Maui.

1460
01:10:38,502 --> 01:10:39,711
I could buy a couple of things.

1461
01:10:39,795 --> 01:10:41,713
Woah, woah, woah, you think
this is some kind of a store?

1462
01:10:41,797 --> 01:10:43,507
What else would
you be doing here?

1463
01:10:43,590 --> 01:10:46,009
Well, actually, it's kind
of a- an incredible story.

1464
01:10:46,093 --> 01:10:47,761
- Nancy!
- How much for the paint?

1465
01:10:47,845 --> 01:10:49,429
Spray paint, I'd
like to huff it.

1466
01:10:49,513 --> 01:10:50,722
You want to huff it?

1467
01:10:50,806 --> 01:10:52,683
You want to huff the
can of spray paint?

1468
01:10:52,766 --> 01:10:54,977
You're like, the worst bum ever.

1469
01:10:55,060 --> 01:10:55,978
What is it, a pageant?

1470
01:10:56,061 --> 01:10:57,062
And you came in last.

1471
01:10:57,145 --> 01:10:58,438
Okay, five bucks.

1472
01:10:58,522 --> 01:11:00,858
Five bucks for a can of paint?

1473
01:11:00,941 --> 01:11:02,484
That's what I said.
Five bucks, yes or no.

1474
01:11:02,568 --> 01:11:04,152
There's a line
forming behind you.

1475
01:11:05,237 --> 01:11:07,281
I made you
look, you fucking idiot.

1476
01:11:07,364 --> 01:11:08,407
Fuck off.

1477
01:11:12,160 --> 01:11:13,954
Stop lookin at me.

1478
01:11:14,037 --> 01:11:15,581
Get away from the gas tank, bum.

1479
01:11:15,664 --> 01:11:16,999
Fuck you.

1480
01:11:21,795 --> 01:11:22,796
Stop and drop.

1481
01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:25,632
Why is this happening?

1482
01:11:25,716 --> 01:11:26,967
You're on fire!

1483
01:11:27,050 --> 01:11:28,760
Run, get the fire extinguisher!

1484
01:11:30,721 --> 01:11:33,181
You not gonna stop, man?
He's on fire!

1485
01:11:33,265 --> 01:11:35,434
I don't need this
shit in my life!

1486
01:11:41,732 --> 01:11:44,818
Oh yeah, lie
on me, get on me girl.

1487
01:11:44,902 --> 01:11:47,321
Oh yeah, grind me
out like a cigarette.

1488
01:11:48,155 --> 01:11:50,282
Yeah, let me return the favour.

1489
01:11:50,365 --> 01:11:51,742
I'm anything but a gentleman.

1490
01:11:51,825 --> 01:11:53,327
Are you okay...

1491
01:11:54,536 --> 01:11:55,829
That's my wife, bum.

1492
01:11:59,166 --> 01:12:00,876
She got on me, dude.

1493
01:12:03,921 --> 01:12:06,340
Bum, put those lamps back.

1494
01:12:07,716 --> 01:12:09,718
So,
that's the basic concept.

1495
01:12:09,801 --> 01:12:14,848
Mmm. Sounds like a good idea.
What, you're calling it YardBay?

1496
01:12:14,932 --> 01:12:15,641
YardBay.

1497
01:12:15,724 --> 01:12:17,643
Great name for a great idea.

1498
01:12:17,726 --> 01:12:18,977
Well, it's Frank's idea.

1499
01:12:19,061 --> 01:12:20,395
You hear that, bums?

1500
01:12:20,479 --> 01:12:22,272
The great idea was my idea.

1501
01:12:22,356 --> 01:12:24,816
A shovel swinging in your
face would be a good idea.

1502
01:12:27,277 --> 01:12:28,779
He already did that.

1503
01:12:28,862 --> 01:12:31,114
While smoking a spider.

1504
01:12:32,699 --> 01:12:34,993
Oh, I believe it,
cause he's a huge dumbass.

1505
01:12:35,077 --> 01:12:37,037
Look at his fat fish face.

1506
01:12:37,955 --> 01:12:41,041
Frank is a
banana split of shit.

1507
01:12:42,000 --> 01:12:43,293
I don't like that.

1508
01:12:43,377 --> 01:12:46,129
I hate to say it, but Frank
is right about one thing.

1509
01:12:46,797 --> 01:12:48,382
You got a good idea.

1510
01:12:48,465 --> 01:12:49,549
Okay?

1511
01:12:50,968 --> 01:12:52,970
But you gotta go in strong when
you're dealing with rich people.

1512
01:12:53,053 --> 01:12:54,596
Otherwise they'll prey on you.

1513
01:12:55,681 --> 01:12:58,767
I would know that, cause I used
to be one of those people.

1514
01:12:59,893 --> 01:13:02,938
Put me out, fish face!

1515
01:13:08,443 --> 01:13:10,779
All right,
I'm out, I'm out.

1516
01:13:10,862 --> 01:13:12,030
You okay?

1517
01:13:12,114 --> 01:13:12,781
Yeah.

1518
01:13:12,864 --> 01:13:13,657
What happened?

1519
01:13:13,740 --> 01:13:14,908
Cigarette.

1520
01:13:14,992 --> 01:13:16,994
Ah, yeah.
Same thing happened to me.

1521
01:13:17,077 --> 01:13:18,036
Feel stupid.

1522
01:13:18,120 --> 01:13:19,121
Yeah.

1523
01:13:19,204 --> 01:13:20,872
All right, well, goodbye Frank.

1524
01:13:20,956 --> 01:13:23,208
Hope a train falls on your face.

1525
01:13:25,168 --> 01:13:27,546
Go siphon some gas
and smoke a cigarette, bum.

1526
01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:29,923
Touché.

1527
01:13:30,924 --> 01:13:32,467
You sure you're all right?

1528
01:13:32,551 --> 01:13:34,970
Yeah. I did the same thing
and next thing you know,

1529
01:13:35,053 --> 01:13:36,638
the flames just jump on ya.

1530
01:13:36,722 --> 01:13:37,848
You think it's
the cigarette, or?

1531
01:13:37,931 --> 01:13:38,974
50/50 chance.

1532
01:13:39,057 --> 01:13:40,559
They were sweet.

1533
01:13:42,561 --> 01:13:44,104
Colin and Will.

1534
01:13:45,063 --> 01:13:46,189
Fuck them.

1535
01:13:57,534 --> 01:13:59,786
Why is there
furniture on the lawn?

1536
01:14:03,248 --> 01:14:05,792
Maybe they were partying.

1537
01:14:05,876 --> 01:14:08,003
They're not like that, Jessie.

1538
01:14:09,588 --> 01:14:10,964
You coming inside?

1539
01:14:11,048 --> 01:14:12,758
I want to start setting
up for the surprise.

1540
01:14:12,841 --> 01:14:14,718
Um, yeah, in a minute.

1541
01:14:14,801 --> 01:14:17,888
I got the spins, I'm just gonna
go back to bed for a little bit.

1542
01:14:17,971 --> 01:14:19,014
Okay.

1543
01:14:25,812 --> 01:14:27,064
That's weird.

1544
01:14:28,982 --> 01:14:29,900
Woah, woah, woah!

1545
01:14:29,983 --> 01:14:31,276
Hey.

1546
01:14:31,359 --> 01:14:33,862
If you're here for the yard
sale, it's in the yard.

1547
01:14:33,945 --> 01:14:34,988
Who are you?

1548
01:14:35,072 --> 01:14:36,156
Who am I?

1549
01:14:36,239 --> 01:14:38,033
I'm a guy holding pepper spray.

1550
01:14:38,116 --> 01:14:39,159
12 ounces...

1551
01:14:39,242 --> 01:14:42,621
3 ounces of pepper spray
at your eyes, all right?

1552
01:14:42,704 --> 01:14:43,622
Who are you?

1553
01:14:43,705 --> 01:14:45,665
I'm Rachel.

1554
01:14:45,749 --> 01:14:47,125
I live here.

1555
01:14:47,209 --> 01:14:49,669
Oh my god, Rachel?

1556
01:14:49,753 --> 01:14:50,504
Yeah.

1557
01:14:50,587 --> 01:14:52,172
Oh, I've heard so
much about you.

1558
01:14:52,964 --> 01:14:54,174
I'm Carl.

1559
01:14:56,760 --> 01:14:58,845
Carl, I think you're gonna

1560
01:14:58,929 --> 01:15:01,098
need to explain to
me what's going on.

1561
01:15:04,976 --> 01:15:07,854
Baby, I think I
figured something out,

1562
01:15:07,938 --> 01:15:10,440
and we're gonna call it
"The Carl."

1563
01:15:12,818 --> 01:15:13,985
Feeling good?

1564
01:15:14,361 --> 01:15:16,446
If good means nervous.

1565
01:15:16,530 --> 01:15:17,823
A Baby Ruth?

1566
01:15:17,906 --> 01:15:20,617
Sometimes a Baby Ruth
is just a candy bar.

1567
01:15:24,704 --> 01:15:27,582
The tournament is cancelled but
I'm sure Dan is still here.

1568
01:15:27,916 --> 01:15:29,543
This has to work.

1569
01:15:29,626 --> 01:15:32,170
You heard what those bums said,
we have to make these rich guys

1570
01:15:32,254 --> 01:15:33,505
wanna give us money.

1571
01:15:33,588 --> 01:15:35,340
Make'em need to give it to us.

1572
01:15:35,423 --> 01:15:38,218
It's fourth and goal, no time
on the clock, you got the ball,

1573
01:15:38,301 --> 01:15:39,845
and I'll just follow your lead.

1574
01:15:46,643 --> 01:15:47,644
Keep it close.

1575
01:15:49,646 --> 01:15:52,732
Oh no, that's not
"fuck you,"

1576
01:15:52,816 --> 01:15:54,442
that's somebody else.

1577
01:15:56,111 --> 01:15:57,404
Can you wash it?

1578
01:15:57,988 --> 01:15:59,322
That's fine.

1579
01:16:00,657 --> 01:16:02,784
I have to go to the
locker room to clean up

1580
01:16:02,868 --> 01:16:04,536
and put on my secret weapon.

1581
01:16:04,619 --> 01:16:06,371
- Meet you at the golf carts.
- Okay.

1582
01:16:07,622 --> 01:16:10,750
Okay, well then, where
did they go after that?

1583
01:16:10,834 --> 01:16:12,586
I don't know.

1584
01:16:12,669 --> 01:16:15,839
I mean, it seems to
change every 16 minutes.

1585
01:16:16,548 --> 01:16:18,258
Frankly, I'm worried.

1586
01:16:18,341 --> 01:16:22,512
And your mother, I mean, maybe
you know her better than me,

1587
01:16:22,596 --> 01:16:25,182
but she seems a little unhinged.

1588
01:16:25,265 --> 01:16:28,935
But the point is, I think
your surprise birthday party

1589
01:16:29,019 --> 01:16:30,729
is a wonderful idea.

1590
01:16:30,812 --> 01:16:32,063
Have you ever seen
The Wedding Planner?

1591
01:16:32,147 --> 01:16:33,773
- Mm.
- With J-Lo?

1592
01:16:33,857 --> 01:16:35,525
That's short for Jennifer Lopez.

1593
01:16:35,609 --> 01:16:39,404
Anyway, I love J-Lo,
and not just because she's

1594
01:16:39,487 --> 01:16:42,240
a fellow Latina,
I love her for her dancing,

1595
01:16:42,324 --> 01:16:45,619
I love her for her singing,
I love her for her acting,

1596
01:16:45,702 --> 01:16:47,537
but I never liked her perfume.

1597
01:16:47,621 --> 01:16:48,830
It was gross.

1598
01:16:48,914 --> 01:16:52,542
Carl, I don't think
we're gonna have a party.

1599
01:16:53,585 --> 01:16:55,420
I need to call my
Aunt Betty, and...

1600
01:16:55,503 --> 01:16:59,925
Okay, I need like 12 billion
aspirin and one ounce...

1601
01:17:00,008 --> 01:17:03,595
Oh my god, who is
this hunk of stud hunk...

1602
01:17:03,678 --> 01:17:05,639
Jessie, this is Carl.

1603
01:17:05,722 --> 01:17:09,142
He's, I guess, staying with us.

1604
01:17:09,226 --> 01:17:11,436
Hi. I'm Jessie.

1605
01:17:11,519 --> 01:17:13,521
- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.

1606
01:17:13,605 --> 01:17:17,400
Did you just call
me a hunk of stud?

1607
01:17:17,484 --> 01:17:21,488
If I was a shark, man,
I would just chomp

1608
01:17:21,571 --> 01:17:24,199
into you like a
little baby seal.

1609
01:17:29,788 --> 01:17:32,666
Please god, don't let
this be a fucking dream.

1610
01:17:40,298 --> 01:17:41,508
Hey, Andy.

1611
01:17:41,591 --> 01:17:42,884
Danny boy.

1612
01:17:42,968 --> 01:17:45,095
Mm.

1613
01:17:45,762 --> 01:17:47,180
Look at that, there's
Nancy at the bar.

1614
01:17:47,264 --> 01:17:48,098
Ooh.

1615
01:17:48,181 --> 01:17:49,474
Saluuut.

1616
01:17:49,557 --> 01:17:50,976
Fancy Nancy.

1617
01:17:51,059 --> 01:17:52,060
Hey guys.

1618
01:17:52,143 --> 01:17:53,770
Hey, Frank.

1619
01:17:53,853 --> 01:17:55,105
Yeah, she's having a few.

1620
01:17:56,314 --> 01:17:57,857
Right now, she couldn't
see the hole in a ladder.

1621
01:17:59,234 --> 01:18:01,069
We've been
celebrating some good news.

1622
01:18:01,152 --> 01:18:02,779
Oh, yeah?
What good news is that?

1623
01:18:02,862 --> 01:18:04,781
Some Silicon Valley news.

1624
01:18:04,864 --> 01:18:05,907
Ooh.

1625
01:18:05,991 --> 01:18:08,201
Hiiii guys.

1626
01:18:08,285 --> 01:18:12,205
Oh bummer, they
cancelled your game.

1627
01:18:12,289 --> 01:18:13,415
I know, I know.

1628
01:18:13,498 --> 01:18:15,083
White balls, white
snow, you know.

1629
01:18:15,166 --> 01:18:17,043
Well, white balls
are better than blue.

1630
01:18:17,127 --> 01:18:18,545
You ever run track?

1631
01:18:18,628 --> 01:18:20,880
Ever run track?
Ever run track?

1632
01:18:20,964 --> 01:18:22,132
You mean with our feet?

1633
01:18:22,215 --> 01:18:23,508
That's why they have golf carts.

1634
01:18:23,591 --> 01:18:25,468
Oh, stop right there baby.

1635
01:18:25,552 --> 01:18:28,930
I need you to pay
attention and to focus,

1636
01:18:29,014 --> 01:18:32,058
because I'm about
to organize you.

1637
01:18:32,142 --> 01:18:33,476
Baby can we talk for a second.

1638
01:18:33,560 --> 01:18:34,102
No.

1639
01:18:34,185 --> 01:18:35,395
No, Honey, I think...

1640
01:18:35,478 --> 01:18:38,440
I talk to you all the time,
I'm sick of talking to you,

1641
01:18:38,523 --> 01:18:39,482
I want to talk to them.

1642
01:18:39,566 --> 01:18:41,276
Stop trying to control me.

1643
01:18:42,402 --> 01:18:44,446
Enjoy the moment, fellas.

1644
01:18:45,322 --> 01:18:50,327
Well, I used to
run four-person relays,

1645
01:18:50,410 --> 01:18:51,745
and this is how it works.

1646
01:18:51,828 --> 01:18:56,666
The second fastest runner
usually starts the race.

1647
01:18:56,750 --> 01:19:00,003
That fucker needs
to get a good lead.

1648
01:19:00,086 --> 01:19:04,007
Andy, smart, hard worker.

1649
01:19:04,090 --> 01:19:06,968
You've earned your money.

1650
01:19:07,052 --> 01:19:08,053
Yes.

1651
01:19:08,136 --> 01:19:13,350
So, I am going to make
you the first runner.

1652
01:19:14,059 --> 01:19:15,810
Come with me.

1653
01:19:17,020 --> 01:19:22,317
The second runner needs to
be solid, and dependable.

1654
01:19:22,400 --> 01:19:23,401
That's you, Steve.

1655
01:19:23,485 --> 01:19:26,529
You've done well in Wall
Street, but you've never

1656
01:19:26,613 --> 01:19:28,490
done anything...

1657
01:19:29,366 --> 01:19:30,909
flashy.

1658
01:19:32,327 --> 01:19:35,872
I am so sorry Rob,
but the slowest

1659
01:19:35,955 --> 01:19:39,709
runner always runs third.

1660
01:19:39,793 --> 01:19:43,838
I know that you're rich,
but it's family money, baby.

1661
01:19:43,922 --> 01:19:46,674
You need to be hungry.

1662
01:19:46,758 --> 01:19:50,553
Maybe today,
shock us baby please.

1663
01:19:52,430 --> 01:19:54,599
And you, my Danny boy.

1664
01:19:55,934 --> 01:19:57,394
You're fourth.

1665
01:19:57,477 --> 01:19:58,853
I'm never fourth.

1666
01:19:58,937 --> 01:20:01,856
But the fourth runner is
always the fastest runner.

1667
01:20:01,940 --> 01:20:03,233
Ahh.

1668
01:20:03,316 --> 01:20:06,653
He's also the smartest runner.

1669
01:20:06,736 --> 01:20:09,781
Because he knows
what it takes to win.

1670
01:20:10,824 --> 01:20:14,327
Either dig deep to
make up for the lost time,

1671
01:20:14,411 --> 01:20:17,872
or run just fast
enough to hold the lead.

1672
01:20:17,956 --> 01:20:21,835
I was always the fourth runner.

1673
01:20:21,918 --> 01:20:25,380
Because I was very, very good.

1674
01:20:26,548 --> 01:20:29,676
So, let's stretch.

1675
01:20:29,759 --> 01:20:31,719
Warm up.

1676
01:20:31,803 --> 01:20:34,222
And assume the position.

1677
01:20:34,305 --> 01:20:35,682
Okay, now I like this part.

1678
01:20:35,765 --> 01:20:38,101
Isn't she something?

1679
01:20:38,184 --> 01:20:39,018
Stand up, baby.

1680
01:20:39,102 --> 01:20:41,146
So now what, we actually run?

1681
01:20:41,229 --> 01:20:45,650
Yes, and Frank is going to tell
you what's at the finish line.

1682
01:20:45,733 --> 01:20:46,901
No. no, baby...

1683
01:20:46,985 --> 01:20:49,112
We have no more room
for investors...

1684
01:20:49,195 --> 01:20:51,781
Please, please,
Frank. I mean, you cannot

1685
01:20:51,865 --> 01:20:56,202
trust those millionaires
from Silicon Valley.

1686
01:20:56,286 --> 01:21:01,249
Silicon is fake,
like the fake silicon boobs,

1687
01:21:01,332 --> 01:21:03,877
they're fake millionaires,
they're nouveau rich.

1688
01:21:03,960 --> 01:21:05,128
It's just a pitch,
it's a pitch...

1689
01:21:05,211 --> 01:21:06,796
Now you have to tell
him about the pig.

1690
01:21:06,880 --> 01:21:07,589
Say the pitch, come on.

1691
01:21:07,672 --> 01:21:09,883
Tell them about the pig.
The pig!

1692
01:21:09,966 --> 01:21:11,301
All right, all right, all right.

1693
01:21:13,178 --> 01:21:16,181
You know the phrase "burn down
the house to cook a pig?"

1694
01:21:17,432 --> 01:21:18,725
You don't have a lot of house
left, we have a lot of

1695
01:21:18,808 --> 01:21:20,477
cooked pig?

1696
01:21:21,769 --> 01:21:23,104
A lot of bankruptcy filings
in this country right now,

1697
01:21:23,188 --> 01:21:24,147
people have lost everything.

1698
01:21:24,230 --> 01:21:25,648
They gambled
and they got wiped out.

1699
01:21:26,441 --> 01:21:27,775
Have I got your attention?

1700
01:21:31,488 --> 01:21:35,158
We help them sell
the barbecued pork.

1701
01:21:36,075 --> 01:21:39,662
People browse yard
sales from home.

1702
01:21:40,497 --> 01:21:42,165
It's called YardBay.

1703
01:21:43,750 --> 01:21:45,293
Yeah baby.

1704
01:21:48,171 --> 01:21:49,172
I like it.

1705
01:21:49,923 --> 01:21:51,299
I like it.

1706
01:21:51,382 --> 01:21:52,800
Let's talk.

1707
01:21:52,884 --> 01:21:55,637
And the winner is....
Dan!

1708
01:21:55,720 --> 01:21:57,764
My wife is so...

1709
01:21:59,057 --> 01:22:00,266
Your acting was brilliant.

1710
01:22:00,350 --> 01:22:01,392
Well, I couldn't
have gotten home

1711
01:22:01,476 --> 01:22:02,852
if you didn't put me on 3rd,
baby.

1712
01:22:02,936 --> 01:22:04,229
I feel great.

1713
01:22:04,312 --> 01:22:05,438
Boy, it really was, wasn't it?

1714
01:22:05,522 --> 01:22:06,773
I just did a Carl.

1715
01:22:06,856 --> 01:22:10,276
My crazy made you look good,
and now they want YardBay!

1716
01:22:10,360 --> 01:22:11,653
I'm gonna call Jason.

1717
01:22:11,736 --> 01:22:13,780
I need to have something to
show Dan over lunch tomorrow.

1718
01:22:13,863 --> 01:22:15,031
Yes.

1719
01:22:15,823 --> 01:22:17,492
Oh, Frank, is it over?

1720
01:22:17,575 --> 01:22:20,245
Are we finally out
of this shit-storm?

1721
01:22:20,328 --> 01:22:22,830
I don't know how, but I
think we did it, didn't we?

1722
01:22:22,914 --> 01:22:25,166
Who said you can't
unring a bell?

1723
01:22:26,167 --> 01:22:27,752
Mom, Dad...

1724
01:22:27,835 --> 01:22:29,212
Rachel.

1725
01:22:30,713 --> 01:22:32,799
And I see you've met Carl.

1726
01:22:32,882 --> 01:22:34,259
Nancy. I've been so worried.

1727
01:22:34,342 --> 01:22:36,010
Carl told me everything.

1728
01:22:36,094 --> 01:22:40,390
I've tried piecing it
together, but I don't know.

1729
01:22:40,473 --> 01:22:43,226
I called Aunt Betty,
she's on her way here.

1730
01:22:43,309 --> 01:22:44,435
Great.

1731
01:22:44,519 --> 01:22:46,896
Honey, it's Nigel.

1732
01:22:47,647 --> 01:22:48,940
Yes...

1733
01:22:49,649 --> 01:22:50,692
Nige.

1734
01:22:50,775 --> 01:22:52,777
I'm sorry, did you
just call me "Nige?"

1735
01:22:52,860 --> 01:22:55,572
Uh, it's possible. I knew
a guy called Adolf Dick once,

1736
01:22:55,655 --> 01:22:56,823
that's a tough name, isn't it?

1737
01:22:56,906 --> 01:23:01,828
Listen, I just had an amazing
conversation with the police

1738
01:23:01,911 --> 01:23:05,707
who informed me that my
house has been burglarized.

1739
01:23:05,790 --> 01:23:09,544
I'm about to board this flight,
and come home and start ripping

1740
01:23:09,627 --> 01:23:11,629
some new assholes.
All right?

1741
01:23:11,713 --> 01:23:14,382
No, no, they caught the culprit,
everything's back in the house.

1742
01:23:14,465 --> 01:23:16,134
It's all good in
the hood, Nigel.

1743
01:23:16,217 --> 01:23:18,469
Oh, oh the police found him?

1744
01:23:18,553 --> 01:23:20,805
They didn't let me know that.
All right, listen.

1745
01:23:20,888 --> 01:23:23,600
I want the perpetrators,
I want them prosecuted

1746
01:23:23,683 --> 01:23:25,435
and I want them sent to jail,
okay?

1747
01:23:25,518 --> 01:23:26,561
No, no, Nigel.

1748
01:23:26,644 --> 01:23:29,480
The thief was hit by a
car and a bike and a rock.

1749
01:23:29,564 --> 01:23:31,190
Isn't that punishment enough?

1750
01:23:31,274 --> 01:23:34,444
You know, even 5000 miles away
I can still smell the bullshit.

1751
01:23:34,527 --> 01:23:35,778
I'm getting on this plane.

1752
01:23:35,862 --> 01:23:37,614
Or, I could go take a
picture of your living room

1753
01:23:37,697 --> 01:23:40,408
and send it to you, and you
could see how it's pristine.

1754
01:23:42,869 --> 01:23:44,370
Yeah. Send it.

1755
01:23:50,543 --> 01:23:54,088
All right, I understand
that you must be mad.

1756
01:23:54,172 --> 01:23:57,675
Mom, I'm mad that you didn't
trust me enough to tell me

1757
01:23:57,759 --> 01:23:59,052
what was going on.

1758
01:23:59,135 --> 01:24:03,431
And also, I'm mad
that I missed out

1759
01:24:03,514 --> 01:24:06,601
on seeing my amazing
parents in action.

1760
01:24:07,393 --> 01:24:09,103
I wish I could have been there,

1761
01:24:09,187 --> 01:24:12,523
because I'll never stop
learning from you guys.

1762
01:24:13,274 --> 01:24:15,151
Rachel.

1763
01:24:19,947 --> 01:24:21,366
Come upstairs to my closet.

1764
01:24:21,449 --> 01:24:23,034
It's now a panic room.

1765
01:24:23,826 --> 01:24:24,911
Hey pervert.

1766
01:24:25,787 --> 01:24:27,997
What did we tell you
about coming back here?

1767
01:24:32,585 --> 01:24:33,878
Where's the main deviant?

1768
01:24:33,961 --> 01:24:34,962
Jason?

1769
01:24:35,046 --> 01:24:37,423
Don't worry, Rach.
I got this.

1770
01:24:37,507 --> 01:24:40,218
No Jason,
don't mess with these guys.

1771
01:24:40,301 --> 01:24:43,262
Frank, we
have a problema!

1772
01:24:43,346 --> 01:24:46,849
No, no, no. Nobody speaks to
Mrs. Teagarten like that.

1773
01:24:47,809 --> 01:24:49,977
What you got there, ironsides?
A cap gun?

1774
01:24:50,061 --> 01:24:51,229
Tasers.

1775
01:24:51,312 --> 01:24:52,480
I carry rent money.

1776
01:24:57,276 --> 01:24:59,362
Holy shit,
those are police tasers.

1777
01:24:59,445 --> 01:25:01,280
Oh, I want that fucker.

1778
01:25:01,364 --> 01:25:02,865
- Be prepared to meet your...
- Give me one.

1779
01:25:02,949 --> 01:25:04,534
Hey, kids.
What are you guys doing here?

1780
01:25:04,617 --> 01:25:05,952
An X-26-6000?

1781
01:25:06,035 --> 01:25:07,620
I'm just right in the middle
of something super important.

1782
01:25:07,704 --> 01:25:10,123
- We really don't want these...
- Back off you stupid fuck.

1783
01:25:10,206 --> 01:25:11,165
Fight me!

1784
01:25:11,249 --> 01:25:12,125
Who are you kids?
Please leave me be...

1785
01:25:12,208 --> 01:25:13,251
Suck a fat one.

1786
01:25:13,334 --> 01:25:14,460
My girlfriend is watching!

1787
01:25:14,544 --> 01:25:15,545
Pussy!

1788
01:25:15,628 --> 01:25:16,754
Take the tasers,
you wore me down.

1789
01:25:20,091 --> 01:25:20,925
Who are you?

1790
01:25:21,008 --> 01:25:22,093
I'm Plumber.

1791
01:25:22,719 --> 01:25:24,053
Ugh!

1792
01:25:24,137 --> 01:25:26,222
Ready for some shock
and awe, fuckers?

1793
01:25:26,305 --> 01:25:27,348
Amen.

1794
01:25:30,435 --> 01:25:32,019
Kneel before your god.

1795
01:25:33,104 --> 01:25:34,647
You guys are wonderful children.
Both of you.

1796
01:25:34,731 --> 01:25:35,815
All right guys.

1797
01:25:37,024 --> 01:25:38,359
All right, we're good.

1798
01:25:38,443 --> 01:25:40,403
Yeah, for once we're having
fucking fun in our lives,

1799
01:25:40,486 --> 01:25:42,739
because you never gave us a good
childhood, so can you just like,

1800
01:25:42,822 --> 01:25:43,990
let us have fun?

1801
01:25:54,083 --> 01:25:55,793
Nice.

1802
01:25:55,877 --> 01:25:56,836
All right. We're done.

1803
01:25:56,919 --> 01:25:57,712
...that was amazing.

1804
01:25:57,795 --> 01:25:58,713
Thanks, baby.

1805
01:26:00,715 --> 01:26:02,467
Okay, I understand the impulse.

1806
01:26:03,718 --> 01:26:05,845
But let's have no more of
this vigilante justice, okay?

1807
01:26:05,928 --> 01:26:08,264
We have to have law and order.
Believe me, I would know.

1808
01:26:15,730 --> 01:26:17,565
All right, listen up.

1809
01:26:17,648 --> 01:26:19,066
We've got two minutes.

1810
01:26:19,150 --> 01:26:20,485
Everything inside.

1811
01:26:22,445 --> 01:26:24,405
Sir, you really need to board.

1812
01:26:24,489 --> 01:26:26,115
Yeah, all right, all right.

1813
01:26:29,243 --> 01:26:32,914
All right, uh, pull my bags off
the plane, I'm going to Nepal.

1814
01:26:32,997 --> 01:26:34,248
You can't be serious.

1815
01:26:34,332 --> 01:26:36,584
Yeah, hurry up, come on, lady!
Let's go.

1816
01:26:36,667 --> 01:26:38,377
Pull the trigger on my bags.

1817
01:26:38,461 --> 01:26:42,215
Uh, airport security
to Gate B31.

1818
01:26:42,298 --> 01:26:44,509
Wait, why, 'cause
I called you lady?

1819
01:26:44,592 --> 01:26:45,718
You said the word "trigger."

1820
01:26:45,802 --> 01:26:47,553
It's not a great word
around here these days.

1821
01:26:47,637 --> 01:26:50,389
Oh, you called the pigs,
you fucking stupid...

1822
01:26:50,473 --> 01:26:53,267
Oh. He is a lady,
that's his... Ugh.

1823
01:27:19,377 --> 01:27:20,753
Good luck.

1824
01:27:20,837 --> 01:27:21,838
Bye.

1825
01:27:21,921 --> 01:27:23,339
Oh, Frank.

1826
01:27:23,422 --> 01:27:26,050
So, I can't talk you
out of this, right?

1827
01:27:26,133 --> 01:27:27,802
No, honey, you can't.

1828
01:27:27,885 --> 01:27:29,178
Good.

1829
01:27:29,262 --> 01:27:30,429
More than good.

1830
01:27:47,947 --> 01:27:49,657
Is this Rose?

1831
01:27:51,158 --> 01:27:53,744
Hi Rose, I am Nancy.

1832
01:27:53,828 --> 01:27:55,288
Where's my daddy?

1833
01:27:55,371 --> 01:27:57,957
Your daddy couldn't come,
but he sent me to get you

1834
01:27:58,040 --> 01:28:00,585
and you're going to see
him really, really soon.

1835
01:28:00,668 --> 01:28:03,421
Meanwhile, I'm gonna
be taking care of you.

1836
01:28:03,504 --> 01:28:04,380
Is that all right?

1837
01:28:04,463 --> 01:28:05,631
Is he in jail?

1838
01:28:05,715 --> 01:28:07,550
Sometimes he goes to jail.

1839
01:28:07,633 --> 01:28:11,178
You shouldn't worry about
that, you must be so tired.

1840
01:28:11,262 --> 01:28:13,472
And hungry.
Are you hungry?

1841
01:28:15,266 --> 01:28:16,809
Thank you very much.

1842
01:28:16,893 --> 01:28:19,896
You're so brave that
you came all that way.

1843
01:28:19,979 --> 01:28:20,980
Were you scared?

1844
01:28:21,063 --> 01:28:21,981
A little.

1845
01:28:32,491 --> 01:28:34,243
Turkey, turkey!

1846
01:28:38,456 --> 01:28:41,000
O'Henry once said that
love and family and country

1847
01:28:41,083 --> 01:28:44,170
are nothing but shadows of
words when a man is starving.

1848
01:28:45,671 --> 01:28:47,089
And today, we are not starving.

1849
01:28:47,173 --> 01:28:48,716
I'm glad you're all here.

1850
01:28:48,799 --> 01:28:52,845
O'Henry once said
that love and family and country

1851
01:28:52,929 --> 01:28:54,889
all together is...

1852
01:28:56,057 --> 01:28:57,183
Uh...

1853
01:28:59,226 --> 01:29:00,436
You're right.

1854
01:29:00,519 --> 01:29:01,646
I'm a douche.

1855
01:29:03,439 --> 01:29:04,649
Yes!

1856
01:29:04,732 --> 01:29:08,819
Yes, you most
certainly are a douche.

1857
01:29:10,821 --> 01:29:13,532
And that is the first
step towards recovery.

1858
01:29:13,616 --> 01:29:14,533
Thank you.

1859
01:29:14,617 --> 01:29:17,495
Okay, okay, here we go.

1860
01:29:18,913 --> 01:29:22,416
I'm thankful that we got rid of
our stuck up, useless friends.

1861
01:29:23,292 --> 01:29:25,711
Our new ones
are a little strange,

1862
01:29:25,795 --> 01:29:27,880
but they are true friends.

1863
01:29:29,131 --> 01:29:32,593
I am so thankful that I
married the love of my life

1864
01:29:32,677 --> 01:29:37,682
and that I know my Frank
and I can overcome anything,

1865
01:29:37,765 --> 01:29:40,267
as long as we are together.

1866
01:29:42,728 --> 01:29:44,522
Rose, Rachel?

1867
01:29:45,481 --> 01:29:48,067
Thank god for Baby Ruths.

1868
01:29:49,986 --> 01:29:51,320
Okay, who's hungry?

1869
01:29:51,404 --> 01:29:52,613
Me.

1870
01:29:52,697 --> 01:29:53,781
For my new friend.

1871
01:29:53,864 --> 01:29:56,867
♪ Welcome back, it's so
good to have you home ♪

1872
01:29:56,951 --> 01:30:00,037
♪ Welcome back,
you've been gone so long ♪

1873
01:30:00,121 --> 01:30:02,206
Well, that's our story.

1874
01:30:02,289 --> 01:30:05,292
Frank and Nancy lived in Jason's
trailer court for a while,

1875
01:30:05,376 --> 01:30:07,920
and Frank took the job
snipping catalytic converters.

1876
01:30:08,004 --> 01:30:09,588
He's pretty darn good at it.

1877
01:30:09,672 --> 01:30:12,925
They rented the house to Carl,
and they all worked night

1878
01:30:13,009 --> 01:30:14,218
and day on YardBay.

1879
01:30:14,301 --> 01:30:16,762
Last time we checked it was
getting pretty darn huge.

1880
01:30:16,846 --> 01:30:19,765
And it all started
when they got drunk.

1881
01:30:19,849 --> 01:30:21,308
And because they were drunk,

1882
01:30:21,392 --> 01:30:23,477
drunk with love
for their daughter.

1883
01:30:23,561 --> 01:30:26,480
And like the saying goes,
a drunk man's actions are

1884
01:30:26,564 --> 01:30:28,149
a sober man's thoughts.

1885
01:30:28,232 --> 01:30:31,027
They were drunk parents.

1886
01:30:31,110 --> 01:30:34,864
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh... ♪

1887
01:30:36,699 --> 01:30:38,242
♪ Welcome home, ♪

1888
01:30:40,494 --> 01:30:41,620
♪ Welcome home ♪

1889
01:30:41,704 --> 01:30:43,372
♪ Oh, oooh, ♪

1890
01:30:51,630 --> 01:30:53,466
♪ Welcome home, Ooh. ♪