YouTheMan's Text Example

Text Message Exchange with an African Hipster Dime by YouTheMan

I met this girl on Sunday night at a Hipster Bar. After number closing her, we had the following exchange 24h later. The goal of this conversation was to establish a first date without fucking anything up through sloppy texting. I will refer to HipsterDime as "Jessica" from now on because it sounds better then saying HipsterDime repetitively.

(2:22) Jessica: Nice meeting you last night hop to see you soon :)
(2:22) Jessica: -Hipsterdime (She starts off with a double text. Very Nice)

*I give her a PAM Phone call which goes to voice mail so I decided to leave a message.
"Hey whats up Jessica, i just got your text and I'm about to hop in the shower and then head out to Seattle to grab lunch. Ill be chillin most of the day since its my day off so I would love to meet up with you and grab a bite or a drink. Give me a call when you get this message and I'll talk to you later." (When I number closed her 24h ago, I asked what her schedule was like, she mentioned that tomorrow was her day off so we agreed to hangout then)

(2:35) Jessica: I'm working right now :p my lunch isn't till 9

(2:48) YouTheMan: No worries. Call me when you take a lunch or when you're off work.

(3:00) Jessica: I have band practice after work every week day.  //Hmm its getting tricky now//

(3:10) YouTheMan: I met an intriguing girl last night. I wonder if she can spare a sec from her busy life to return a phone call from an amazing guy. //See what I did there? This shit is hard to respond to and its oozing pacing, cadence, and delivery. Even via text.//

(3:25) Jessica: Hahahahaa you're silly I can't talk on my phone at work...I'd love to hang out. After my bands ep release show ill be less busy.

(3:28) YouTheman: Im usually free Sun and Mon. Weekdays are usually busy and spontaneous.

(3:32) Jessica: Mondays are usually the days I have off unless I switch with someone like today...I have this wednesday off too...my guitarist and I are going to go to HipsterBar and perform to practice our acoustic set you should come. //No thanks I dont feel like going to your show//

(3:32) Jessica: Where do you live? //Another double text haha yes//

(3:36) YouTheMan: Mercer Island. Remember the row boat?

(3:46) Jessica: I dont remember much from last night //Could be true as she was pretty drunk the whole night//

(3:50) YouTheMan: Im free next Sunday after 4pm. We should grab a drink I think that sounds fun. Do you? //Tag choice at the end//

(3:53) Jessica: I'm off at 7:30pm on Sunday
(3:54) Jessica: You're gay right? Or was that someone else I met.
//Haha double text again. And she remembers bits and pieces from last night. At some point last night, while I was engaging the 2-set, one of the girls asked me if I was gay and the other just assumed I was, for some random reason. Maybe they were trying to rationalize why they both had their arms around me and game me kisses on the cheek when I pointed to both sides of my face. Like, "Its ok if he's gay cuz he's not hitting on us" or some other silly girl rational//

(4:02) YouTheMan: Ok how about tentatively 8:30-9pm at HipsterBar next Sunday.
(4:02) YouTheMan: Haha you so silly. Ask Alex.
//See what I did there? It was ok for me to double text back to her because she gave me a separate statement and question which required two different responses. Alex was her cockblock friend that I neutralized by number closing for good measure infront of my target, whos number i already had. Alex was there when they both called me/asked me if I was gay and since she wasn't as drunk as my target her memory would help clarify Jessica's drunken hazy memory. To build comfort, rapport, and mutual familiarity, I told Jessica to ask her friend Alex about that funny moment.

(4:19) Jessica: Where's HipsterBar?
(4:21) Jessica: I'm sorry if that was rude asking you
//Hhahaha yes bitch keep double texting me. Yeeesssss//

(4:29) YouTheMan: No Worries. Last night was lots of fun. HipsterBar is right next to BarHipster.

(4:30) Jessica: I just asked Alex and she thinks you're a fraud hahahahah ;)
//In this case yes. I am a fraud gay man and she seems pleasantly surprised and relieved. Don't worry babe; I would love to grace you with the pleasure of my cocka inside of you.//

(4:38) YouTheMan: Haha Alex is cool.
//Compliment her friends//

(4:41) Jessica: Yea she is...now you've completely confused me but gay straight i don't care at this point you seem pretty cool...
(4:44) Jessica: Oh yea quinns...ok well meet there but I think we should make a transfer after that to GayBar or HipsterGayBar.
//Yea thats right. I am pretty fucking cool. So cool I'm not scared of going to a gay bar to DHV the fuck out of myself, flirt with some gay boys to make her jealous, and get some guy to buy me and my date some drinks. Although during the date I will maintain the lead to steer the venue changes to places I got on lockdown. I don't want to get caught at some random gay bar with shitty seating arrangements, loud obnoxious club vibe, and potential cock blocks. Im not worried about being cockblocked by gaybois but she could know a few friends, at the bar, who could become cockblocks regardless of sexual orientation.//

(4:46) YouTheMan: Ok sounds good.
//Whew I survived a texting battle! Although she didnt explicitly confirm the date, it seems like she's down. I will follow up later in the week to confirm the date for Sunday.//