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- I know everything about /a/, no seriously, I mean there is not one thing I don't know about it, the history, the tripfags, the copypasta, memes and dubs. I can't even begin to tell you how many dubs I have got in my 10 years on /a/ but let me tell you it's a lot, a hell of a lot. For all intensive purposes I should just hold back some of this mountain of knowledge I possess, my mind is just a powerhouse of /a/ facts and figures, but what can I say I like to educate my fellow /a/quatches, surely you've all seen me relentlessly push topkek on /a/ for years now and seen my superior knowledge of the gets and seen my sharp wit and clever use of oc at play. Surely you have seen me post picture after picture of doge and facts that prove how GOAT prime minister face, scrubmaster, and myself are, an it's all been for you fellow brothers, I know you all respect me an have huge amounts of admiration for me and my posting abilities, as a great man once said, I'm responsible for 90% of gets on /a/, well I said it but you know it's true anyway. I'd just like you also to know I'd appreciate it if you asked my permission when starting a thread about lel, kek, any dubs generals or anything really, to be safe just run everything though me as I am the man around here, Please could you also tell all the new namefigs that I am the example they must live up to an to follow my lead of informative and interesting posting skills, well I'm off to watch some Umaru-Chan.
- What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little cutie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Huggers N Cuddles, and I've been involved in numerous secret spanks on your cute butt, and I have over 300 confirmed cuddles. I am trained in gorilla hugging and I'm the top kisser in the entire Frosty Moe Land adorable forces. You are everything to me but just another cutie. I will kiss you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with being that adorable to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Poland and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the love, honey. The loves that wipes out the adorable little thing you call yourself. You're fucking cuddled, sweetie. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can love you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed love, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Frosty Moe Land Sex Shops and I will use it to its full extent to please your adorable ass off the face of the continent, you little cutie. If only you could have known what holy retribution your romantic "clever" comment was about to bring up upon you, maybe you wouldn't have held your fucking tongue. But you could, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you loveable cutie. I will love you, all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking mine, <3
- Sure is plebs in here. Come back when you have a real appreciation for the visual medium and aren't just children spending their parents money on DVDs. I've spent over 6 years working in the industry, with 4 years in western animation, working mostly as a anime macroeconomist. Do you even KNOW what an anime macroeconomist IS?
- Im looking for a bento box, it cant be pinku (thats japanese for pink) or any girl color. It has to be of 2 or more kotoba (thats japanese for 2 compartments) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post pics of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have any cartoon pictures, or be made out of plastic. It has to be made of ceramic, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a bento box similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 kotoba, and i dont want my gohan (rice) to touch my other things (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more kawaii(cute)
- Well well well...it seems you have once again, despite your best efforts, become a pawn in one of my rather elaborate ruses, and it seems as though the end result of said ruse has left your state of being of a lesser quality than before you were dealt the card hidden up my sleeve, while being none the wiser!
- And yes! While it is true that you will eventually recover from this recent turn of events, it remains unclear whether or not your social status on this website will remain at its current level, or if it will take a turn for the worse! After all is said and done, at the end of the day, you will have to accept the fact that you got the short end of the stick! I hold no remorse or regret, for I am and always shall be, a clever ruseman!
- Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, one of the monkeys will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, all of the monkeys are sprayed with cold water.
- After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result, then, all of the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, none of the monkeys will try to climb the stairs. Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
- Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, and then a fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
- After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not?
- Because tanasinn
- yea yea big talk little man yawnnnn ive seen this show before keep it up and if you get balls one day let me know ill be happy to meet up and put you in your place with a few swings of my fists didnt think so baby boy
- I know everything about /s4s/, no seriously, I mean there is not one thing I don't know about it, the history, the tripfags, the copypasta, memes and dubs. I can't even begin to tell you how many dubs I have got in my 10 years on /s4s/ but let me tell you it's a lot, a hell of a lot. For all intensive purposes I should just hold back some of this mountain of knowledge I possess, my mind is just a powerhouse of /s4s/ facts and figures, but what can I say I like to educate my fellow /s4s/quatches, surely you've all seen me relentlessly push topkek on /s4s/ for years now and seen my superior knowledge of the gets and seen my sharp wit and clever use of oc at play. Surely you have seen me post picture after picture of doge and facts that prove how GOAT prime minister face, scrubmaster, and myself are, an it's all been for you fellow brothers, I know you all respect me an have huge amounts of admiration for me and my posting abilities, as a great man once said, I'm responsible for 90% of gets on /s4s/, well I said it but you know it's true anyway. I'd just like you also to know I'd appreciate it if you asked my permission when starting a thread about lel, kek, any dubs generals or anything really, to be safe just run everything though me as I am the man around here, Please could you also tell all the new namefigs that I am the example they must live up to an to follow my lead of informative and interesting posting skills, well I'm off to watch some froge
- Hi, Elliot Rodger here. It all has to come to this. Tomorrow is the day of retribution. The day in which I will have my revenge against humanity. Against all of you. For the last 8 years of my life, ever since I've hit puberty, I've been forced to endure an existence of loneliness, rejection, and unfulfilled desires. All because girls have never been attracted to me. Girls gave their affection, and sex, and love, to other men but never to me. I'm 22 years old and I've never even kissed a girl. I've been through college for two and a half years, more than that actually, and I'm still a virgin. College is the time when everyone experiences those things such as sex, and fun, and pleasure. But in those years I've had to rot in loneliness. It's not fair. You girls have never been attracted to me. I don't know why you girls aren't attracted to me. I'm the perfect guy, and yet you throw yourselves at all these obnoxious men, instead of me, the supreme gentlemen. I will punish all of you for it. On the day of retribution I am going to enter the hottest sorority house of UCSB and I will slaughter every single spoiled, stuck-up, blonde slut I see inside there. All those girls that I've desired so much, they would've all rejected me and looked down upon me as an inferior man if I ever made a sexual advance towards them while they throw themselves at these obnoxious brutes. I will take great pleasure in slaughtering all of you. You will finally see that I am in truth the superior one. The true alpha male. After I've annhilated every single girl in the sorority house, I'll take to the streets of Isla Vista, and slay every single person I see there. All those popular kids who live such lives of hedonistic pleasure while I've had to rot in loneliness for all these years, they've all looked down upon me every time I try to go out and join them. Well now, I will be a God compared to you. You will all be animals. You are animals, and I will slaughter you like animals.
- >autists
- >retarded
- Only an ignorant cunt would use autism as an insult. (And there's nothing I hate more than ignorance)
- Autism is a gift in my case, I have an IQ of over 150 which makes me technically a genius thanks to my autism. I've been going through school all my life being bored out of my fucking brains getting at least 95% on all my tests (and all the incorrect answers were silly mistakes) because I'm just too fucking smart for school I can't wait for everyone else to learn something I already knew within the first day or too of being taught it. Every year I scored the best of my year on these stupid multiple choice tests we do and the headmaster came to my class to tell me that, which obviously resulted in being called a 'nerd' which is true but I shouldn't be ridiculed for it.
- I recently became home educated so I could learn at my own pace and I'm getting my GCSEs done in 1/4 of the time everyone else has to do it in, I'm also doing more than double the average amount of GCSEs that usually would be done.
- I used to get paid $30 an hour working online, which is more than the teaching assistants at my old school earned, it was so fun pointing that out to them.
- So, in conclusion, calling someone autistic is not an insult, in my case, it makes me highly gifted.
- One more thing, I don't know if this has anything to do with my autism but I am a sociopath so I'm not hindered by irrational emotions like guilt, compassion, empathy etc.
- haha, the most satisfying this is to know that you will all see this as a waste of a natural gift that I am undeserving hahaha, that brings me great satisfaction.
- I'm practically perfect, let the jealousy flow through you.
- "What the fuck, man", I shouted. I had a crude smile on my face, and my eyes were shut tightly.
- I fell off my chair. I could not, and I cannot stop the laughter.
- Again, my face contorted into a wide smile. I forced my eyes shut once again. My face was convulsing, my muscles repeatedly forcing my eyes shut and my mouth open.
- I opened my eyes, and while laughing, I shouted: "This is a shit".
- My face was still contorting into horrible shapes.
- I shouted again, "A big one".
- "A grat one"
- To the world, I screamed:
- "CONGRATS MAN XD"
- What the zoobidey flip-flop-bop did you just say about me, you flippidy zoob woobity? I'll have you know I zooped and flooped to the top of my class in the zobbler wobbler, and I've rop-wop-flopped in numerous shoobidy doobidies on floppity pudding, and I have over 300 shibbidy bops. I am trained in flap-floppities and I'm the top doober in the entire shibbidy. You are nothing to zoobidy-me but just another zoobidy. I will zoop you the blop out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this floobidy Earth, mark my flibbidy flop. You think you can flop away with zoobing that doobie-woobie to me over the Interzoobies? Think again, flap-flopper. As we speak I am zipping my blopping bloop of flobbidies across the boopidy and your floopidy is being flopped right now so you better poopidy for the big zoobidy flop party, son. You're jeeber zeebered, son. I can be anywhere, any-flopping-time, and I can zoop and woop you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my boobidy shoobidies. Not only am I extensively zooped in zip-wop, but I have access to the entire zabber of the Zap Wop Muggity Top and I will zoop it to its full extent to flap your flobbity flob off the face of the zoobie, you zabber wabber. If only you could have known what zopping fury your little "zoopity" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have zooped up. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you flapping babbling shooby-wooper. I will zip zop all over you and you will drown in it. You're flibbity zooped, son.
- Allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong.
- In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.
- Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
- You what? You want to fucking RAPE her? Oh you've done it now. You picked the wrong time to post some stupid ass shit like that. Because right now I'M on /jp/. And I don't let stupid fucking fatass neckbeard autists like you make stupid "HEHEHE RAPE SO EDGY EPIC WIN FOR THE LEGION" comments about a pure fucking angel like Yayoi without giving them a PIECE OF MY MIND.
- If you were here standing in front of my right now I'd rip your fucking cargo shorts off and fuck your ass so goddam hard it would hurt to sit down for the REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE. Every fucking time you sat down, every time you took a shit, you'd be reminded of HOW I FUCKED YOU. I'd make wear a pig costume and chant out FUCK MY TIGHT ASS FOR THE LEGION EPIC WIN while I came in your fucking boypussy.
- so basically fuck you.
- >>>/a/
- >>>/b/
- >>>/r9k/
- You guys think your cool for talking shit? Cus that's what your doing right now. Leave the girl alone. You all started this. If you guys wouldn't bully people then they wouldn't have to "comite suicide" even tho she didn't what if she really would have. She probably said she did to get away from all this. You are some mean people. What if the roles were reversed? How would you feel? You guys don't know her story. All y'all need a life in stead of sit on Facebook all day talking about a girl you don't even know. Grow up and stop bulling people its not OK!
- you are scum. No, you're lower than scum. See, she may have made a mistake. A big one. But since she's young and naive, I'm choosing to cut her some slack. Cause at her age, I doubt she fully comprehends the severity of the lies she told. That's not to say I think she's dumb because she clearly isn't. But you are if you're telling a young girl to kill herself after that has been over with for damn near a week. Get over yourself and stop picking on people significantly younger than you. /rantover
- That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
- I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.
- Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.
- Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.
- Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.
- So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:
- (One-Handed Exotic Weapon)
- 1d12 Damage
- 19-20 x4 Crit
- +2 to hit and damage
- Counts as Masterwork
- (Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)
- 2d10 Damage
- 17-20 x4 Crit
- +5 to hit and damage
- Your mother jerks off pigs. She gets down on her knees and crawls through the pigpiss mud slop and snuggles up to the pig, her fingers tracing along it's belly until she finds it's cock. She begins tugging and stroking as her twat moistens, her breasts swelling and her nipples begin to stick out like erasers on a fresh #2 pencil. She grunts with satisfaction as the pig begins eagerly thrusting into her hand, her grip now tightening to maintain control of the pig's greasy corkscrew cock. She lowers her head to watch the cock work in her hand, groans with satisfaction and begins working her clit with her other muddy hand, her hips gyrating with the rhythm of the pig's thrusting. "Oh fucking jesus god yes.." she gasps. She changes positions, still maintaining control of the feverishly thrusting cock as the pig's squealing intensifies. She leans forward and with her lips almost touching the pig's ear, she whispers your name and begins to shudder. She turns her attention again to the pigs swollen member rocking in her hand. She presses it between her hand and her face, the pig thrusting it against her cheeks as she drools. With a massive grunt and a high pitched squeal, the pig's balls explode, beginning a massive shower of hot, sour pig jizz. You mother cups one hand under the fountain of steaming genetic material gathering it in her hand as the thrusting comes to an end. The pig shudders and begins to walk to the trough of slop in the corner of it's pen, but your mother tackles it to the ground. She lifts it's tail and smears the handful of pig load into the pig's own fetid butthole, turning flakes of crusty pig shit into a pigshit-pigjizz mud slop on the pigs ass. Now she tilts her head to the sky and screams your name, not once, not twice, but three times. She slams her face full force into the pig's butthole and it's wreath of shitsemen pudding, her tongue machine gun flicking the rim and then burying itself to the hilt inside the pig's hot colon.
- Counts as Masterwork
- Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don't you think?
- tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.
- women hate most things, including film. the range of film genres that interest film is very narrow.
- the film must one or more of these things
- 1) a musical
- 2) a children's animated film from pixar, dreamworks, or disney. women can't handle films more mature than this, they need to be spoonfed morals and happy endings
- 3) anything to do with girls in high school or early college. for women, this was the high point in their life and they desperately wish to return to it and film allows them. this was the last time in their lives that they could breeze through life effortlessly and had men subsidizing their entire existence
- 4) a romance/romcom. but a very specific breed of romance. the woman must be an average woman with no personality or social status and the man needs to be mysterious, powerful, or wealthy. for no reason at all, the man falls hopelessly in love with the empty shell of a woman and goes to the end of the earth to please her. this resonates with women because this is a reflection of their warped sexuality and entitlement.
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