septet's murder fiction about honus (/newbie 8/24/2016)

[19:46] Septet: Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a beautiful princess
[19:47] Septet: She was courting a handsome young man, who served as a captain in her Father's army
[19:48] Septet: One day, the young captain's fort fell under seige, and he was captured by the enemy -hic-
[19:49] Septet: The princess begged her father to send rescue, but he refused
[19:49] Septet: He had never approved of their love
[19:50] Septet: The woman grew angry at his cold heart, and stormed off
[19:51] Septet: Late at knight, she rounded up some of the captain's friends and donned her armor -hic-
[19:51] Septet: The rode all night, past enemy lines, until they came upon the enemy castle
[19:52] Septet: She hoisted a stolen flag, calling to the guards she was one of their own, bringing more prisoners
[19:53] Septet: They, drunk on ale from revelry, let her in -hic-
[19:54] Septet: As she was welcomed into the gates, she drew her blade and sunk it deep into the gut of the guard, as her men dropped their false bonds and did the same
[19:55] Septet: They tore through the castle, lighting fires wherever they found wood, seeking her love
[19:56] Septet: Swords clanged throughout the halls, and the air grew thick with smoke
[19:56] Septet: hOnus carbuncle is such a sexy beast!
[19:57] Septet: I've never met anyone as cool as hOnus carbuncle! How about a round of applause?
[19:57] Septet: Until finally, she reached the throne room
[19:57] Septet: The King, Honus, stood over her lover with blade in hand
[19:58] Septet: It shone a dull red, and dripped with the captain's heartblood
[19:59] Septet: In a rage, she leapt at the evil king, swinging wildly
[19:59] Septet: Taken aback by her fury, he fell to the ground, begging for mercy
[19:59] Septet: She spat on him, and with a single swing, took his head
[20:00] Septet: hOnus carbuncle is totally awesome! Just saying that name makes me feel all tingly inside!
[20:01] Septet: She pulled her lover to his feet, taking the King's head as a trophy
[20:01] Septet: She looked down at the head and said "that's what you get for inturrupting me"
[20:02] Septet: She rallied her me, and they made their retreat back into the forests
[20:03] Septet: And they all lived happily ever after
[20:03] Septet: Except for Honus, who was dead and unhappy
[20:03] Septet: The End
[20:04] Septet: This story is a work of fiction, any similarities to any persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental