Thread 11: Stories 76-90

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>Discord
"AJ2"
~~~~
>This natural chaos is revving up, but surely there must be something that I can do to add to it.

"Wow thish ish shome great punch."

>...Hello there you little cutey pie. How would you like a marchmally?

"Would I? I love marchmallys."

>Here you go...oh whoops I dropped it.

"Thatsh okay. 5 shecond rule"
As she moves to pick it up, it moves away from her and plays a song. (Katamari Damacy Theme)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMH49ieL4es

"What the?"
When she stops the marshmallow and the music stops.
"Comeback here!"
When she continues walking toward it, the marshmallow rolls away and continues the song. As it rolls away a button sticks to it.
"Eh, ish shtill good."
While she chases it along it manages to pick up a bit, a pin, a ring and other miscellaneous objects.
"Sho there's a few shtuff on it. Ish still good."
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>SA
"Celestia"
~~~~

>Well, this is crashing and burning faster than anticipated.

"I know, isn't it great?"

>Celestia, several of your guards are on fire.

"They're fine."

>Your guests are half drunk.

"I look at it as half sober."

>And Chrysalis just got chewed out in public.

"The goings on of your harem are no concern of mine."

>Why does everyone keep calling it that? It can't be a harem if I only sleep with ONE of them, and even then only as a rare event.

"It's funnier that way, and I might still enjoy watching you suffer just a bit."

>Awww, come on Tia, don't be jealous! You can join my harem anytime.

"For real and for true? OH! I might just faint!"

>Celly no, you're to heavynonononono-OOOOF~!

"Wow, flat already? How are you supposed to be able to handle me like that?"

>You don't know, I might get turned on by this.

"And I might be Applejack wearing a very clever disguise."

>Nah, your ass is too bouncy.

"You know me so well!"

>But seriously, get off. I have had enough of large mares pinning me to the ground tonight, thank you. Adding to that, thank you for using your side instead of sitting on me, little touches are appreciated.

"Oh fine, spoilsport."

>Oomf, much better. Feel better for missing the hippos?

"I do, actually, thanks."

>S'what I'm here for.

"...Is that..."

>...Huh. That is a large ball of... something...

"..."

>...shit.
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>SA
"Celestia"
[2]
~~~~~~

>AHHHHHHH!

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

[WHEEEEEEEE!]

"WHY!? WHY IS SHE COMING STRAIGHT FOR US!?"

[SHINNEEEE! AH'M ON A BALL! ISHIN ISH SHA BESH!?]

"..."

>...Ah.

"HOW DO YOU DO THAT!?"

>It might have something to do with a cancer-punch.

"...A WHAT!?"

>Long story.

"Why aren't my guards stopping this!?"

>Which answer do you want? Fighting demons, they suck at their job, gold old fashioned fear, or they did and are now within the confines of the gigantic ball?

"...All of the above?"

>A plus, Celestia. Going on your permanent record.

"You seem tense."

>Juuuust planning to start hitting a certain dragon. I don't know when I'll stop.

"Will it be a while?"

>Might be, going to play this by ear.

[AH'M SHA QUEEN O' SHA WOOOOOORLD!]

>You know, you don't HAVE to run next to me. I'm pretty sure I can lead it away.

"You're right, I don't."

>...

"..."

>...Heh, I'm supposed to be guarding YOU, you know.

"You're retired, remember? Besides, I don't want you using my bath again, it'll take weeks to disinfect as it is."

>If you say so.

[AH' CAN SHEEE MAH HOUSH FROM HERE!]
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>Soarin
"Spitfire"
~~~~~

"We could have been drinking."

>Okay, I know this seems pretty bad, but... I stand by my decision to come.

"We could. Have been. Drinking."

>At least the music's good?

"We. Could. Have. Been. DRINKING."

>Ooh! Look, there's Brigadier General Medley, I thought she retired!

"..."

>Hey, Changeling girl? Uh... Two? D'you think you could roll us in the direction of that teal mare over there?

"...We could ha--"

>Yeah, I know, we could have been drinking. Okay, could you roll us over the punch bowl for miss pouty-pinions here, and THEN over to that teal mare? Uh, please?

"..."

>...

"...naaaa, na na na nana na na na..."

>Isn't it catchy?!
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>Vinyl
"Octavia"
~~~~
>Octy...maybe we should...sing that one song together.

"What?"

>You know, the one we would sing together occasionally.

"Ugh, I don't know if I feel comfortable singing."

>Aw c'mon. That's why I sing all the hard parts.

"...if you want to even call it singing. Plus it's not really a song you can dance to."

>It's a slow song, I'm sure these ponies will think of something. We go into dance naturally to whatever song gets played.

"What about princess Applejack's relatives?"

>Hey guys, want to take a short break while we squeeze a song in?
They smile and nod yes
>Alright let's do this!

"*sighs* Fine."
Everypony sets up and begins the instrumental part.
http://youtu.be/e38p0qHFmsY?t=41s

"I wish I was strong enough to lift not one but both of us
Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us"

As Vinyl raps on they both enjoy this little moment where they made sweet music together for just one special night.
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>42
"18"
~~~

>This is the worst night ever.

"You're telling me?"

>I punched Shiny through... lots of stuff, actually. I took on half the guard. I'm pretty sure I tried to devour a rabbit at some point. My Queen feels bad and I can't help her. And finally, we're out of that magic punch that makes every thing allllll better.

"Yeah, kind of surprising that everyone just kept drinking, eh? You figured someone would stop it."

>With how tonight is going, I'm surprised they aren't drinking MORE.

"Seriously, is anyone actually going to come next year?"

>...I am.

"Yeah, me too, but hopefully because between now and then Shiny relents, and we can have dirty closet sex."

>...

"...You can join too, I'm not greedy. We can work on the combos for a high score."

>PFT... okay, fine, I'm smiling, you happy now?

"...Well, I was."

>Oh? What changed?

"The fact this night is about to get way, way worse."

>And just how is tha-

Two white ponies raced by.

The ball followed soon after.

And there was nothing left behind.
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>Rarity
"Spike"
~~~~

>Alright, darling, start explaining.

"..."

>...

"...There is a giant marshmallow ball behind you."

>Really? You're going to use THAT excuse, of all of the-

And just like that, she was gone.

>...Huh. Well, maybe everyone else is doing okay?

And that's when he heard what sounded like indignant rage, coming over from where he was pretty sure Twilight was at.

>...COME BACK! TAKE ME WITH YOU!
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>Spike/Rainbolt Red
"AJ2"
~~~~
>Oh boy. How did I loosh Applejack 2? I shwear all theshe changlingsh look the shame. Sheesh, I'm a terrible leader. How could I let thish happen? All I did wash get punch and then she wash gone.

A song plays in the distance growing slightly louder with time.

>I really messhed thish up. Spike'sh going to chew me out for thish. I wonder if I could have prevented thish shomehow.
Shining and Celestia runs by him.

>Huh...I wonder why they're in shuch a-
He gets swallowed up by the giant ball.
(NAAAAAAAA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NANA-N’NA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA)

"Come backsh here marchmally!!!"
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>Yellow
"Green"
[DT]
-Twilight-
~~~~~

>THIS WAS STUPID!

"No, YOU were stupid. Why the hell would you change into PRINCESS CELESTIA!?"

>I panicked! Besides, original point still stands! Why are we even doing this!? We work for 42, not Spike! We don't even like Spike!

"...I kind of do."

>Point is, we need a plan!

"And what POSSIBLE plan could we come up with? SHE HAS MISSILES!"

>...I'm more worried about the magic, really. Don't want to get turned into an orange.

"Why an orange? Wouldn't she turn you into a banana?"

>...Huh.

[COME OUT YOU COWARDS!]

-Tell us what you did with Spike!-

>...Wait, does she think we abducted him or something? Why, so we could get showed by affection instead of him?

"That is so... accurate, actually. That is a totally plausible thing they would think."

>Well, clearly we need to stand up, surrender, and explain our situation to them. They seem like sane mares, they'll understand we were just trying to help someone out of a complicated situation. We can even explain that Spike WAS spending time with them, but swapping out so he could give everyone some time, and not run himself ragged. They might even appreciate the legnths he went to to make sure everyone got a great time.

"This sounds like a great idea! A perfectly reasonable explanation that will make everyone happy."

>Hey, girls? We-

-Shiny! You are not going to believe.... HEY!-

[Wow, rude.]

"As we were saying-"

-GAH!-

[HOLY SHIT! WHAT WAS THAT!?]

-It took the Changelings that replaced Spike!-

[AFTER IT!]
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>RD
"Soarin"
'Spitfire'
-Gilda-
~~~~~~

>Wow, can't believe you guys came back.

"Yeah, well, I didn't want to leave you all alone for the night. Felt like kind of a jerk just ditching you."

>No, stop, please. Before my heart swells and bursts.

'See? Told you she wouldn't care.'

"Well, still. At least I feel less like a jerk."

-And that is clearly what is important right now.-

"Well, kind of. I mean, what are we supposed to do instead?"

'Stew in useless anger?'

-Plot our revenge for when we are free?-

>Beg for the sweet release of death?

"You guys are so pessimistic."

>...OH! Goody!

"What?"

>We just rolled over the snack table.

-Awesome! Share!-

>No.

'YOU BITCH!'

"Spits! Commanding officer... though I have no idea WHY. She's had no formal military training, has had no command experience with combat, and is quite a lot younger than us."

>Oh, sure, now you turn on me.

"Just saying. Maybe they should have tried replacing Spits with one of us first?"

'I can't believe you would say that! I would never replace YOU!'

>...

"..."

-...-

'...Wait, shit.'
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>56
"Luna"
~~~~~

>...Moons? No. Bad moons.

"What? Whatever are you talking about."

>No, look, I know it's a little crazy, but this is a bit too far.

"What is?"

>I mean, come on. I don't like some of those guys either, but seriously? Crossed a line... crossed... a... line.

"What are you talking about!?"

>Hitting all those ponies with the moon! I mean, that's just too much.

"...With the moon."

>Yuh huh.

"...Surely thou must realize that were we to strike anyone with the moon, the very face of the earth would be obliterated?"

>...Why? It doesn't look that big.

"It is."

>No kidding? How big?

"Very."

>Liiiiike.... bigger than a cart?

"Bigger."

>Than a house?

"Much bigger."

>Bigger than a castle!?

"Much. Much. Much bigger."

>Oh... then what is that?

"What is wha- WHAT THE FU-"
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>Day Guard2
"Crystal Guard2"
'Night Guard2'
~~~~~~

>We've done it! The perfect concept for a novella. Filled with political intrigue with thoughtful commentary-

"-loads of deep yet still titillating characters of the feathered-"

'-and insectiod variety, and the perfect fantasy of empowerment that will ring forth throughout the ages! Now, all we need is a name...'

>CELESTIA SITTING UPON A PIKE OF FIRE!

"I like it! Captures the reader right with-"

>LOOK OUT!

In a flash of white, they joined the others.

"...Did anybody else just forget their train of thought?"

'SHIT! What was the story again!?'

>I don't know, it flew from my head in fear!

"Noooooo!"

'WHY DO YOU HATE GREATNESS, POWERS ABOVE!?'

They couldn't see it, of course. It's a good thing too, actually, who knows what they might have thought to themselves had they the ability to look up into the night sky?

Above their oblivious heads, the stars simply continued to rely their message.

-I don't-
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>SA
"Celestia"
~~~~~

>FUUUUUU-

"Your daughter is still right there."

>-UUUUUUUDGE... is what I was totally going to say.

"So, plans?"

>Find a way to thank you for the frequent stamina training?

"Besides that."

>Pray that the ball becomes so large it can either A, no long move about the castle or B, becomes a new planet and stake out the first land I see that is habitable?

"...is that optimistic or pessimistic?"

>Which is the one where I don't die? It's that one.

"Wait! Look!"

He could only sort of look in the direction she had gestured, but sure enough standing on one of the statues in the room was a Changeling. There was some strange box strapped to her hind legs, and she was wearing the most bizarre brown coat.

Green magic pulled some odd, segmented sword from the box, and she struck a pose. With an explosion of steam, twin pikes with cables attached raced across the room burying themselves within the wall beyond. With all the grace of a serpent who could fly through the air, she swung down, arcing her blades beyond her head, and beginning to twirl. She stuck like a hurricane in Changeling form. Fast as the wind, powerful as a crashing meteor, sharp as lightning splitting the sea.

And about as effectual as a water balloon.

The two royals flinched a bit at the splatting noise, but never once slowed their running.

>...Huh.

"I honestly don't know what I was expecting."
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>Cheerilee
"77"
______

Just as the potato-eating Changeling got mashed underneath the giant marshmallow ball, Cheerilee clopped her front hooves almost ecstatically.

>Oh my, that was just spectacular!

"Indeed, love. That one did always strike me as a bit odd but her technique was undeniably flawless. Shame it amounted to nil."

>As I tell those soul-corroding students of mine, dear, it's the effort that counts.

"Then should we put in the effort at evading this sticky sphere of doom, poppet?"

>What, and miss a chance to share in this once-in-a-lifetime ride with you?

She pouted quite convincingly and 77 chuckled.

"Then let's put on a good show, shall we?"

>Let's! Ahem... By Celestia's eternal fire, no! This is surely the end of our days!

"Cheerilee, go! Save yourself! I'll hold it back as long as I'm able!"

>N-no! I can't, I won't! A life without you... it's not a life worth living!

"Poppet..."

>77....

And as the oscar-nominated couple embraced amidst the chaos, Celestia and Shining Armor sped right by them, whistling with approval.

The ball followed soon after and it was like Cheerilee and 77 were never there.
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>DT
"Twilight"
'Spike'
~~~~

>Stand back! I've got the perfect way to stop that thing!

"NO! No rockets! You will kill SO MANY ponies!"

>And Changelings! Don't forget about them!

"..."

>...Well, what do YOU plan to do!?

"It's simple, all we have to do is-ACK!"

>What the hell does that me-

Twilight may have made it clear, in no small part thanks to her wings, but the pink filly was not so lucky.

"...Shoot. Okay, Twilight, time to make a plan!"

'TWI!'

Like a leech, he grabbed hold of her leg.

'Oh, thank Celestia! Not actually, because she totally isn't helping you guys, but metaphorically!'

"I'm not falling for that again!"

'Falling for wha-"

*BZTZTZTZZT!*

"HAH! The REAL Spike isn't effected by electricity!"

'...Yes I am.'

"AH HAH! ONLY THE REAL SPIKE WOULD KNOW THAT!"

'...'

"...YOU HAVE SO MUCH EXPLAINING TO DO!"

'Really? We're going to pretend you didn't figure it out in, like, two seconds?'

"SPIKE!"

'Alright! I'm sorry! I just wanted to give you all a good time, you know? After what happened last time with everyone ditching me... I guess I went a little overboard in the other direction, huh? I just... wanted to spend the night with all my friends, new and old. I'm sorry.'

"...Okay, there are clearly deeper issues we have got to talk about, but first we have to-"

'ACK!'

"That's my li-SHIT!"

'TWI! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'

He fell to his knees, banging his fist against the floor.

'YOU BASTARD! YOU BASTARD! TAKE ME TOO! DON'T LEAVE ME WITHOUT.... SHITSHITDIDN'TMEANITSHITSHITSHIIIIIIIIT.....'

>...You have so much explaining to do.
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