Smart Kids:

TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
JOHNNY : "Because George still had the ax in his hand."
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TEACHER : Now, ! Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SAM : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLIE : Me!
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TEACHER : Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER : Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN : I is...
TEACHER : No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
JOHNNY : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
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TEACHER : Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as brother's. Did you copy his?
DESMOND : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL : A teacher.