Accordion Thief Skills

If your AT skills aren't working, go to Desert Beach > Bordertown > Uncle P's Antiques and buy an antique accordion. (2500 meat, 10 turns/cast, any class)
For why, see http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showthread.php?t=201878

Moxie of the Mariachi
	Type: Noncombat
	MP Cost: 1
	By diligently practicing playing the accordion at your campsite, you can channel the Moxie of the Mariachi -- your Moxie and Maximum HP will increase for a period of time.
	Gives Effect:
	Mariachi Mood
	(5 Adventures)
		You're in a Mariachi Mood.  Moxious!
		Maximum HP +3
		Moxie +1

Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 40
	This song makes it so you (or another player) learn more from your combat experiences, and gain more stats from battles.
	Gives Effect:
	Aloysius' Antiphon of Aptitude
		Having this song stuck in your head makes you feel like you're learning more from your experiences than you normally do.
		+1 Muscle, Mysticality and Moxie Stat Per Fight

The Moxious Madrigal
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 2
	Hearing this song will fill you (or somebody else) with great Moxie.
	Gives Effect:
	The Moxious Madrigal
		Having this song stuck in your head makes you feel Moxious.
		Moxie +10

Cletus's Canticle of Celerity
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 4
	Upon hearing this song, you (or somebody else) will begin to move very quickly, and with improved combat reaction times.
	Gives Effect:
	Cletus's Canticle of Celerity
		Having this song stuck in your head makes you feel fleet of foot and nimble of... er... neck.  You're less likely to be taken by surprise in combat, and more likely to successfully run away.
		+20% Combat Initiative

The Polka of Plenty
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 7
	This song will fill you (or somebody else) with greed, and make more Meat drop from monsters in combat.
	Gives Effect:
	Polka of Plenty
		Having this song stuck in your head makes your money troubles go away -- monsters you slay will drop more Meat!
		+50% Meat from Monsters

The Magical Mojomuscular Melody
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 3
	This song will attune you (or somebody else) with your (or somebody else's) spirituality (hippy) and increase your (or somebody else's) Mysticality and maximum MP.
	Gives Effect:
	The Magical Mojomuscular Melody
		Having this song stuck in your head makes you feel especially tuned to your spiritual side -- your Mysticality and your maximum MP are higher than usual.
		Maximum MP +20
		Mysticality +10

The Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 5
	This song will fill you (or somebody else) with passionate intensity, and great Strengthliness.  Your (or somebody else's) Muscle and maximum HP will be increased.
	Gives Effect:
	Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith
		Having this song stuck in your head makes you feel sort of sensitive, but also really tough.  Mostly just tough.  Your Muscle and your maximum HP are higher than usual.
		Muscle +10
		Maximum HP +20

Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 13
	Upon hearing this song, you (or somebody else) will gain a strange absorbency.  Monsters will do less damage to you (or somebody else) in combat.
	Gives Effect:
	Brawnee's Anthem of Absorption
		Having this song stuck in your head makes you feel like you're taking less damage in combat.  That's probably because having this song stuck in your head makes it so you are actually taking less damage in combat.
		Damage Reduction: 98

Fat Leon's Phat Loot Lyric
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 11
	Upon hearing this song, the listener will be imbued with superior looting skills - monsters will drop items more frequently in combat.
	Gives Effect:
	Fat Leon's Phat Loot Lyric
		Having this song stuck in your head makes you more likely to find items on the corpses of your enemies.
		+20% Item Drops from Monsters

The Psalm of Pointiness
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 15
	And lo, unto the audience shall be conjured an aura of pointiness, and verily shalt those who attack the audience be poked as though with legion pointy objects.
	Gives Effect:
	Psalm of Pointiness
		Having this song stuck in your head makes you feel pointy -- like anything that attacked you would get a stab.
		Damages Attacking Opponents

Jackasses' Symphony of Destruction
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 9
	This horrible song will make whoever hears it very angry.  And anger, in this case, will correspond with increased melee, ranged and spell damage.
	Gives Effect:
	Jackasses' Symphony of Destruction
		Having this song stuck in your head makes you angry.  So angry that you hit harder with weapons and spells.  Grr.
		Weapon Damage +12
		Spell Damage +12

Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 30
	This song will impart upon its listener a sense of righteous indignation.  This indignation will manifest as a 10% increase in all of the listener's stats.
	Gives Effect:
	Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority
		Having this song stuck in your head makes you feel better than everybody else.  Well, better than monsters, at least.  Probably about 10 levels better, on average.
		All Attributes +10%

The Ode to Booze
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 50
	This is the best song ever.  Whoever hears this song will gain a remarkable ability to drink, and will gain more adventures from alcoholic beverages.
	Gives Effect:
	Ode to Booze
		Having this song stuck in your head makes you feel like you enjoy drinking more than most people do.  Alcoholic beverages will give you marginally more adventures.
		Booze tastes even more delicious!

The Sonata of Sneakiness
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 20
	Hearing this song will imbue the listener with astounding obfuscative abilities, and make them less likely to encounter monsters while adventuring.
	Gives Effect:
	The Sonata of Sneakiness
		Having this song stuck in your head makes you less likely to encounter monsters while adventuring.
		Monsters will be less attracted to you

Carlweather's Cantata of Confrontation
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 20
	Hearing this song will increase the listener's production of anger pheromones.  Monsters will be more attracted to them.
	Gives Effect:
	Carlweather's Cantata of Confrontation
		Having this song stuck in your head makes you more likely to encounter monsters while adventuring.
		Monsters will be more attracted to you

Ur-Kel's Aria of Annoyance
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 30
	This song generates an aura of intense annoyingness around anyone who hears it.  The aura makes monsters want to hit the possessor much, much harder.
	Gives Effect:
	Ur-Kel's Aria of Annoyance
		Having this song stuck in your head makes you very, very annoying.  Monsters will be enraged by you, and want to hit you very, very hard.  Did you do that?  Yes.  Yes you did.
		+60 to Monster Level

Dirge of Dreadfulness
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 9
	This song is depressing.  Not in a melancholy, I-haven't-heard-this-since-way-back-when way, but in a soul-crushing hopelessness way.  Seriously.  Sad, sad song.
	Gives Effect:
	Dirge of Dreadfulness
		Having this song in your head makes you so depressed that you're actually producing palpable waves of gloom.  It hurts to stand next to you.
		+12 Spooky Damage
		+12 Damage to Spooky Spells

The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 50
	This song tells the story of Richie Thingfinder, the luckiest hobo in the world.  Playing this for somebody is sure to rub some of that luck off onto them, making them more likely to find items and Meat.
	Gives Effect:
	The Ballad of Richie Thingfinder
		Having this stuck in your head makes you feel like the luckiest hobo in the world.  Who, presumably, finds a lot of things on the ground, and is really good at begging instead of earning a living.
		+50% Meat from Monsters
		+20% Item Drops from Monsters

Benetton's Medley of Diversity
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 50
	This medley teaches an important lesson -- that monsters come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors, but in the big picture, they're all equally evil.
	Gives Effect:
	Benetton's Medley of Diversity
		Having this stuck in your head makes you feel like a truly equal-opportunity downsmacker.
		+15 Hot Damage
		+15 Cold Damage
		+15 Stench Damage
		+15 Spooky Damage
		+15 Sleaze Damage

Elron's Explosive Etude
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 50
	Playing this song for somebody will fill their head with unstable magic energy, making their spells far more powerful than they would ordinarily be.  And far more delicious.
	Gives Effect:
	Elron's Explosive Etude
		Having this song stuck in your head fills you with unstable cuisine-altering magic -- your spells will be filled with extra explosive power.
		Spell Damage +50%

Chorale of Companionship
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 50
	Playing this song for somebody will depress them, but make them value their familiars more.
	Gives Effect:
	Chorale of Companionship
		Having this song stuck in your head is sort of depressing, but it does make you appreciate the good things in life, such as your familiar.
		+10 to Familiar Weight

Prelude of Precision
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 50
	Playing this song for somebody will set their head a-buzzing, and steady their hands, making them more likely to get critical hits with weapons.
	Gives Effect:
	Prelude of Precision
		Your head is abuzz with sixteenth, thirty-secondth, sixty-fourth, one-hundred-twenty-eighth, and two-hundred-fifty-sixth notes, and as a result, your combat reflexes are especially sharp.
		+10% chance of Critical Hit

Sing
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: 1
	You know that thing from old commercials where somebody sings and breaks a champagne glass?  This skill lets you do that, except with skulls.
	Deals damage over a few rounds of combat

Donho's Bubbly Ballad
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 75
	Why does this song make you feel so light, and so airy?  I donho.
	Gives Effect:
	Donho's Bubbly Ballad
		You've got a bubbly song stuck in your head.  The bubbles are moving from your head to your lungs, making it easier for you to adjust to great depths.  And they will see you adjusting to such great depths.  Come up now, they'll say.  But not too fast.  You'll get the bends.
		Makes you a better diver

Cringle's Curative Carol
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 5
	Dr. Cringle believed that music was the best medicine.  Dr. Cringle also set the world record for lost malpractice suits.
	Gives Effect:
	Cringle's Curative Carol
		Have yourself a cure for all that ails you
		Don't stay hurt from fights
		When a monster tries to put out all your lights
		Have yourself a cure for all that ails you
		When your magic's drained
		Don't just stand there bleeding, twitching, looking pained
		Here we are with a nifty song, rather spiffy song to heal
		Now that you've got it in your head, you'll be far from dead, I feel
		Through the fights you'll keep regenerating while you're in this mood
		Sing it day and night, and if you're really shrewd
		You'll have yourself a cure for all that ails you, dude.
		Regenerate 5-10 HP per Adventure

Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
	Type: Buff
	MP Cost: 100
	This song was written by the son of a legendary swordsmith.  It is said that it will inspire its listeners to great heights of craftiness.
	Gives Effect:
	Inigo's Incantation of Inspiration
		Hello!  Driven by your relentless pursuit of the six-fingered man, you are inspired to work quickly and creatively.
		Lets you craft things more quickly

Dissonant Riff
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: 2
	You might think that accordions can only make beautiful sounds, but you're wrong -- they can make annoying sounds, too.
	Damages and weakens your opponent

Cadenza
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: N/A
	usable once per fight
	Combat, like music, relies on the ability to improvise.  This skill lets you improvise a specialized musical combat use for any accordion you care to wield.
	Unleash your accordion's unique inner strength

Crab Claw Technique
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	You have developed an unstoppable personalized accordion-playing technique.  You say unto your foes:  "Here is my accordion.  Welcome to Hell."
	Makes your accordion attacks significantly more accurate

Accordion Bash
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: 5
	usable once per fight
	The best defense is a good offense, and the best offense is a heavy accordion.
	Stun an opponent by hitting them with your accordion

Accordion Appreciation
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	A lot of people hate accordions, and a few people tolerate them, but almost nobody truly, truly loves them like you do.  And the thing about accordions is that if you love them, they love you back.
	Double-strength enchantments on accordions

Concerto de los Muertos
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: 8
	usable once per fight
	Few instruments are as haunting as the accordion.  Especially the haunted accordion.
	Deals Spooky Damage over a few rounds

Five Finger Discount
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	You know what's cooler than paying a million Meat for something?  Paying nine hundred and fifty thousand Meat for it.
	Items in stores cost 5% less Meat

Suspicious Gaze
	Type: Noncombat
	MP Cost: 10
	The best way to avoid suspicion is to head it off at the pass by being suspicious of everybody else.  That's also the best way to avoid getting jumped in a dark alley.
	Gives Effect:
	Suspicious Gaze
	(10 Adventures)
		Your eyes are narrowed, allowing you to more sharply focus on all of the people who are out to get you.
		+20% Combat Initiative

Bawdy Refrain
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: 11
	Nothing makes you as popular with your friends or as unpopular with your enemies as a thorough repertoire of ribald songs.
	Deal
	Sleaze Damage to your opponent

Thief Among the Honorable
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	Y'know, you just... enjoy stealing stuff.  And you're good at it!
	+5% Item Drops from Monsters

Sticky Fingers
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	It's amazing the kinds of things you can find if you constantly rifle through other peoples' stuff.
	Pickpocketing also gives Meat

Cone of Zydeco
	Type: Combat
	MP Cost: 15
	You've learned how to use an accordion to focus Zydeco into a powerful cone of force -- a Zydecone, if you will.  It's especially effective against groups of enemies, because nobody hates Zydeco as much as crowds do.
	Delivers a blast of Zydeco damage to your foes

Master Accordion Master Thief
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	You're better at stealing than you are at playing the accordion, and you are damn good at playing the accordion.
	+10% Pickpocket Chance

Knowing Smile
	Type: Noncombat
	MP Cost: 10
	Smile, and the whole world smiles with you, because the whole world has no idea why you're smiling.
	Gives Effect:
	Knowing Smile
	(10 Adventures)
		This is less of a winning smile and more of a cheating one.
		+1 Moxie Stats Per Fight

Mariachi Memory
	Type: Passive
	MP Cost: N/A
	Your ability to have songs stuck in your head knows no bounds.  Or at least slightly fewer bounds than average.
	You can hold an extra Accordion Thief song in your head