Thread 41: Stories 31-45

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>29
"MM"
'Trixie'
[Zecora]
~~~~~

>Have any sixes?

[Sorry, I do not have what you wish. You will have to instead go fish.]

'HAH! TAKE IT OFF!'

>For the last time, we are not playing strip go fish!

"None of us are even wearing clothing!"

'I NEED SOMETHING TO SPICE THIS UP! And since you all won't let me bet money, this is what we're doing!'

>It's not that we won't let you, it's that we already have all of your money.

[I think I'll buy a nice rug for my bedroom, maybe red? Or perhaps I'll just buy a nice big cake instead.]

'YOU ALL SUCK!'

>My dear, for thine rates proposed not a chance in the deepest pits of tartarus.

'Plplplplp!'

>Thine maturity is endless.

[...]

"Zecora? Something the matter?"

[...]

'...what!?'

[...]

>...Oh, I see.

"What?"

>She's just realizing nothing directly rhymes with diamond.

"...Ah. Wow, that has got to be a problem."

'...How do you order oranges?'

[I DOOOOOOHOHOOON'T! I WANT THEM BUT HAVE THEM I WOOOOOON'T!]

>There there, we all have our issues so grand. I'll get you a bag when we get home.

[...*Sniffle*... thanks. I've always wanted to try them, but nobody has ever understood. I've heard from a great many that are supposed to be good.]

"They are! I actually like them better than apples."

>Doesn't everyone?

'Yeah, they're great!'

>...
"..."
'....Did you guys just get a funny feeling?'

"Yeah, it's weird."

>Huh. How strange, none from us hold any particular attachment to that fruit of red, and yet...

[...Well, while we wait. Trixie, do you have an eight?]

'Does eight really rhyme with wait?'

[...]

>...Zecora? You oka-

*BLAM!*

"CELESTIA'S ASS!"
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NON-CANON
>PJ
"BB"
'Derpy'
~~~

'MAIL CALL!'

>Oh hey! There it is!

"Oh? You write letters?"

>Just to old friends I met.... ah.

"What?"

>Hey, big boy blue? Mind taking a note for me? My hooves are full of potato.

"I suppose...."

>Good. And... a-hem... DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT YOU STUPID FUCK! IT'S A LIE! IT'S ALL BEEN A LIIIIIIEEEEEE! THERE IS NO WEAK SPOT! IT'S NOT THERE! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT HER NAME IS IT'S NOT THERE IT'S ALL A LIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

"..."

>...Love, PJ. And put a little heart there if you would. And a smiley face, they like smiley faces... but no teeth. For the love of Equestria, do not put teeth on that smiley face or there will be blood shed.

"..."

>...Did you get all that? Need me to repeat it?

"You know what? Let's go over it to make sure I got everything."

>Certainly... a-hem... DON'T DO IT!

~~~

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>Dash
"Spitfire"
'Soarin'
~~~

>MOVE IT! MOVE IT!

"THIS IS RETARDED!"

>Watch the language, missy! There's kids around!

'Do you want me to hate you? Is that it? Is this your way of pushing away everyone who actually thought you could do a good job? IS THIS A CRY FOR HELP, DASH!?'

>No, Soarin', it's not.

'BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE A CRY FOR HELP!'

"Seriously, luggage! YOU'RE MAKING US GATHER THEIR LUGGAGE! US! THE FUCKING WONDERBOLTS!"

>I said drop the language!

'WE'RE OFF DUTY!'

>Technically not anymore! You were recalled for emergency events!

"Events that have passed!"

>I don't remember relieving you of duty, so guess what? You're going to grab that luggage and ferry it right back down!

'...'

"...Say it."

'No.'

"Say it."

'I won't.'

"You know, and I know, what you are thinking. Now you say it."

'...it's freaking luggage.'

"Not what you want to say and we both know it. Saaayyyy itttttt!"

'...I...'

"SAYYYY ITTTT!"

'...There were at the very least, SOME positives when you were captain.'

"Theeere it is."

>I SAID MOVE IT!

'...I have regrets about my current life choices.'

"JOIN THE FUCKING CLUB!"
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>SA
"42"
'Cadence'
~~~~

>You realize this is wholly unnecessary, right?

"With my Majesty secured, it is my job to ensure nothing happens to either of you until you are all safely aboard the train taking us home. As such, I am sticking close."

'No no, we get that part, it's how close is the problem.'

"My current proximity is totally necessary, and non-negotiable."

>42...you are literally sitting between me and Cadence.

"Well, of course. If I were on either side of you, then it would severely hamper reaction time should an assault come in from the side."

'An assault from who?'

"The who is unimportant."

>So you're just going to sit between us until the train arrives?

"Yes."

>...feels like my freaking mom is chauffeuring me around again.

"What was that?"

>NOTHING!
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>12
"Mailmare"
~~~

>Ugh, I swear, I'm going to end up in the cell next to her at this rate, matching straight jacket and all!

*Sigh*

>At least I've got a decent job that actually pays now... time to start my long, long flight to-

"MAILCALL!"

>GAH!... uh, thanks?

"NO PROB!"

>...Huh, from partyland. Let's hope it's them agreeing to finally move me to full... time...

"....You okay?"

>FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

"Now that's just uncalled for."
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>77
"Cheerliee"
'???"
~~~

>I'm telling you, sweetums, we need to ask Applejack about her.

"..Sweetums?"

>I... am not good with pet names.

"Well, you tried."

'Could have tried harder than that. Cheery? Sweetielee? Come on, put some effort into it.'

>SPIKE! Oh, thank goodness you are alright. You had me worried.

'Me? You're the one who got in the middle of a giant dinosaur punching a robot.'

>Technically, we just got in the middle of the robot, the dinosaur punching came later.

'Speaking of, good work taking it out. Heh, not planning to kick me off the team and take over, are you?'

>Well, I'm not. Diamond Tiara might.

'HAH!'

>...

'...I hate that you aren't joking.'

>Sorry.

"While we're on the subject, um, Spike? You wouldn't know any good... mental health professionals, would you?"

'WHAT HAS SHE BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT ME!?'

>...
"..."

'I mean, noooo. Nope. Not at all, why?'

>Is there something you want to-

'POCKETSAND!'

>OW!... Did he just run off?

"That he did."

>...

"...So, uh, not going to ask him again?"

>I'm the one who had PTSD, how am I the only sane member of this team?

"There's always 42..."

>...

"...The head punching doesn't for SURE mean she's crazy."

>...

"...Go get a drink?"

>A drink sounds lovely.
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Sombra

Small crackles of magical feedback saturated the air with arcane energy as the shadowy head of the once great and terrible King of the Crystal Empire finished his most recent endeavor.

>...It is done!

The light from his chamber's fireplace gleamed off the newly repaired “Horn Exte-... Sheath”. It's outer layer as seamless as the day he created it, and the enchantments of its inner layer once again restored.

>... Finally...

It floated slowly in his weak magical grasp before sliding down upon his horn. With a sigh of relief, he was once again connected to the ambient magical energies floating about, and no longer as restricted to what was left of his once great power.

Suddenly he winced and once again flickered between mostly there and barely there. After a moment he stabilized and found himself panting.

>Damn... They keep getting worse...

Over the past week since they had returned he had been having these attacks, fortunately though they had been striking him at regular intervals, and allowed him to keep them hidden from everyone else. His eyes slowly drifted to the crate containing the Golem Stones and the “Moon Opal” on the desk next to it.

>...

The Luna's Tear was glowing brightly. Freely given by its namesake, its magical potency was theoretically way higher than that of a normal “Moon Opal”... but it wasn't nearly enough...

>...Infused with magic to make it shine brighter than a star...

His soon to be “body” was already made from the strongest “Earth Magics”... and the Luna's Tear, the heart of this “body” was created through magic and emotion... but now it needed something else...

>Magic, Magic... What sort of Magic?

His mind drifted to earlier times and his old power... then a glimpse of a memory, a flicker of his most terrible deed.

>No.

He banished the thoughts from his mind and once again started thinking.

>Something else, something more... Something better, but what?

...He did not find his answer that day.
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>Twilight
"Chrysalis"
~~~

>Okay, let's go over this again.

"This is stupid!"

>Nooo, what you do every other major event is stupid. THIS is the thing that will finally end the stupid.

"Do not call me stupid, Sparkle."

>Whatever. Okay, so, new scenario. You've just discovered that one of your guys is handing a piece of paper to Applejack without your knowing. What do you do?

"Grab him, forcibly extract whatever he's been telling her, and-"

>NO! NO NO NO! You ASK APPLEJACK WHAT HE IS GIVING HER!

"He shouldn't be giving her anything without my knowing!"

>And hey, he's not! Because, in fact, he is just picking up something she dropped in the hallway and giving it to her! Nothing of yours!

"....Well, I would have figured that out when I asked him."

>Yes, but now you just abducted someone, forcibly went inside their brain, and found out something you could have found in two seconds by ASKING HER!

"Well, why wouldn't I just ask him? Why am I asking Applejack in this scenario? She might lie if it's important."

>Hey, good question, why AREN'T you asking the guy in this scenario?

"...Well, I mean, he could be lying too."

>If you think he's lying, THEN you do something!

"But it might be too late to act in that case."

>Worth the risk, I assure you!

"...This is stupid."

>ARRRGHHHHHH!
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>Applejack
"Arana"
~~~

>...Arana, what're ya' doin'?

"Uh... standing here?"

>Yer' still wearin' the trenchcoat.

"Oh, uh, yeah, don't want to freak anyone out."

>So hide yer' legs.

"...OH! RIGHT!"

*FWOOOSH!*

"Was totally planning on doing that!"

>...

"...I keep forgetting I can hide stuff..."

>How.

"Momma didn't have us hide a whole lot, she just ate-"

>NEVERMIND!
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>Dash
"18"
~~~

Ahhh, tea.

Tea is lovely.

>AHGGGGGH!

...Less so when someone sits next to you and starts screaming.

"...Why are you screaming at me."

>I just realized! MY VACATION IS OVER!

"Oh, I see, the mescaline has just kicked in. Drugs are bad, Dash. Fun, but bad."

>What I MEANT was that this means I have to go back to the paperwork! I figured you'd get it, you do, like, everything!

"...Oh, right. And suddenly, I am sympathetic to your plight. Brava."

>How do you put up with this every day?

"What? Seriously? I thought of everyone you would actually understand me."

>What?

"I. Fucking. LOVE. My Empire. I love it. You know why I have fifteen different forms for pothole filling on my desk? So that I can see which ones need to be filled in first and will cause the least amount of slowdown to commerce and trade, and fill them accordingly. You know why I have a dozen different forms for how much oil to allocate to each street lamp every night? So I can save the bits on which ones don't need it, and put those bits towards things like after school programs. I do this crazy amount of work because I LOVE that place, and I want it to work well. I mean, I figured out of everyone you'd get it. Everyone else does the job because they have to or someone made them, but you've wanted to be a wonderbolt since, what, you were five or something?"

>...little bit earlier than that.

"I figured out of everyone, you'd just be happy it gets to be YOU who fixes them and makes them as awesome as you want."

>...Huh...

"...Do you want some tea?"

>Hm? Yeah, sure...

"..."

>...Hey, 18?

"Yeah?"

>If it were you in my position, and I'm totally aware it isn't, what would you start putting funds towards to get them back on track?

"Well, I don't know anything about the formal training or flying, so I couldn't help you there, buuuuuttt, as far as the minutia goes, I'd have to actually see what your structure looks like to gauge that."

>Oh, well, I was just curious...

"..."

>...Did I ever show you my trophy collection? It's awesome.

"Really? I've got to check it out when we get home."

>Oh yeah. Totally.

"...Is it in your office?"

>Where else would it be?

"Just checking. Have to wait till I get some free time, however, your collection is probably huuuuuge."

>You have no idea, it's a problem for the foundation.

"Hey, that just means you have more accomplishments to show off."

>Guess so.

"...is something wrong?"

>Why do you always look like Cadence?

"Why do I-OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!"

>..

"...This was totally intentional."

>Riiiight.
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>Lyra
"Bonbon"
[Lotus]
{Aloe}
~~~~

>Sooo... think we missed anything important?

"They went to a freaking theme park, what the heck could we have missed?"

>Maybe someone got pregnant.

"If so, my money is on the yellow one."

[Miss Fluttershy? Why?]

"Oh come on, you just KNOW she wouldn't be able to say no if some guy said he wanted to go bareback."

{...Eeehhh, I see the point. She is very hard to upset, yes?}

>Which is weird, because I swear she does some big event to get more confidence every other week.

[Right? They said she stared down a dragon once.]

>...At least she does stuff.

"HEY! We do stuff!"

>...

"Less important stuff, but... uh..."

[...]
{...}

"...So, I'm thinking next rumor is about that one changeling taking on a disguise and getting a nasty surprise."

>We did that one already.

"Ahhh, but this time, it's the GUY changeling who just crawled into bed disguised as Applejack, and THIS time, Big Mac don't ask no questions."

[Can they change genders?]

"Who knows, and who cares?"

{...Point. So, what does he say when he finds out?}

"Now THAT'S the fun part..."
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>Celestia
"SA"
~~~

There was something off about her. He could tell just from how she approached him. Still, nothing too bad, just a bit of weariness, he supposed.

"Well, glad to see your plan worked."

There's the coy smirk he loved.

>My plan? Whatever do you mean?

"Don't play that game, Celly."

>Oh, I suppose you saw right through me. But can you guess what my plan was?

"Find someone who you thought had the capability of stopping it and throwing them at it.

>...Shut up.

A nice, easy laugh came from him as he took a seat next to her, poking her in the side.

"Hey, no disrespect, it worked."

>Oh, what's that look for? You don't think I intended to hurt her, do you?

"Nah, I know you better than that. Actually, was more surprised you trusted her with so much."

>Hmm.

Just like that, the coy smirk died, replaced with a much more... saddened look.

"What?"

>Well, I mean, I don't know if it's fair to say I trusted her, not completely. It was more an act of desperation. She was the only one capable of hitting Discord in the one place where he was vulnerable. His power may be absurd, but he has but one mind. In theory, she was the only one who could have done anything. It turns out, not enough to defeat him, not even with the power I granted her, but that was a risk I had to ask her to take.

"Kind of cold."

>Shiny... Discord is the one creature I can't defeat if he gets out of line. He could easily take out all of Equestria, every single pony, single handed if he so wished it. It looked like he was going rogue, so I... did what I had to, in order to deal with what might potentially be. Even if that meant putting her in the line of fire.

He didn't answer, looking away as he became thoughtful.

"...It was simply a request, you did not force her."

>Well, now how would you know that?

"Because I know you."

>...You have me there, I suppose.

Gently, she bought him in for a quick hug.

>I need you to hang around me more. Sometimes I feel like every choice I make is spinning the barrel against my head.

"And you want me to be there in case it finally goes off?"

>No... just to pull it away when I'm being stupid with it.

"Heh, come on now, it worked out this time. You obviously have to do it sometimes."

>...

"...Tell you what."

>What?

"Next time this goes down, come get me?"

>So you can stop me?

"Sure, if I can think of another way. Or, if that's not an option..."

He pressed his cheek against hers, and poked his hoof to the side of his head.

"At least I'll make sure you don't play alone. It's always more fun with friends!"

She sat there, in total silence.

>...Knob Bender, that is by far the most morbid inspirational speech I've ever heard in my long, long, looooong life.

"Pfft, oh hush up, Candle Chewer, I had to improvise."

>Hey, that nickname is unfair, the candle actually was made of candy.

"For the last time, no it wasn't. You were eating wax. Eating wax is bad."

>Don't you tell me how to live.

"I'll do what I want, we're not on Equestrian territory."

>We aren't on Empire territory either, so you need to stop it with the mints!

"I like mints!"

>They make your breath smell funny!

"That's what they're supposed to do!"

>Well, I don't like them!

He broke off, pressing his snout to hers and looking her in the eye.

"And I don't like fruitcake, but you eat that!"

>OH YEAH!?

"YEAH!"

>OH YEAH!?

"YEAH!

>OOOOHHH YEAH!?

"YEAAAH!"

>YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO THAT!?

"WHAT!?"

Abruptly, she poked him in the nose.

>...
"...PFFFT-"

They dissolved into hard, loud laughter. Laughter that managed to last quite a long time, they fell into another grasp, depending on the other to hold them up as their bodies were wracked with laughs.

>AHAHA... aha... I was trying to be serious. Serious moment is dead now.

"And your point is...?"

She just sighed, letting him go, and giving him a warm, thankful smile.

>I need more of that in my life.

"Clearly, you should go on vacation-OW!"

She just blew a raspberry, ignoring him as he rubbed his sore head.

>... I actually don't like fruitcake all that much either, but Luna loves it, so I have to put up with it when she makes it.

"As a stallion who's wife cooks like mine does, I sympathize."

>No pulling the 'my wife's cooking' card, that's unfair.

"Don't tell me how to live."

Another easy, relaxed laugh came out.

>Thanks, Shiny.

"Anytime."
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NC
>Pinkie
"???"
~~

>WHAT THE HAY IS TAKING THE TRAIN SO LONG!?

~~~~Two hours earlier~~~~

"There, now that I have my destroyed popcorn maker, my bits and my stuff, time to slip away... AH HA! There! Coming over the tracks! If I slip onto the train before it arrives, they'll have no idea it is me when it pulled up not five minutes from now! It's fullproof!"
~~~~~PRESENT!~~~~

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE!?"
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>Winona
“PJ”
‘Blueblood’
[???]
-???-
{SS}
+AB+
#SL#
$???$
~???~
_________

“MMPH!”

‘JUST LET ME GO! YOUR LIFE ISN’T WORTH MINE!’

“NNNGH MMF PNNNH!”

‘WE’RE BOTH GOING TO DIE IF YOU KEEP THIS UP!’

Two figures hung from a hole blown in one the castle turrets. With one blade stabbed into the floor and the other held tightly between her teeth, PJ only had one hoof to offer Blueblood, the same hoof currently keeping him from splattering against the ground some unknown distance below. Even with one of her wings painfully bent beyond use, she held tight.

‘QUIT BEING STUPID AND LET GO!’

“GNF!”

As curls of black smoke billowed out of the hole, PJ grunted at the stallions rude attempts at twisting out of her grasp. He was doing everything he could to get free. A shame, she figured, because she’d sooner lose her entire arm than let go.

‘DAMN IT PJ!’

She ignored both his struggles and him, squinting through the thick smog to make out the two combative figures circling one another. There was a third lump laying motionless on the ground and bleeding from the temple. Haymaker, a good distraction.

But in the end, even against all four of them, Dolltania had proven herself made of something beyond that of the ordinary toy. Namely pure rage, following in her namesakes hoofsteps no doubt. Yet every blow- like the one that fell Haymaker, like the one that blew a hole in the reinforced wall, and like the ones that sent both PJ and Blueblood hurtling out of it- they all seemed to miss the crafty farm dog.

And that meant she was apparently worthy enough for Dolltania to give her full and undivided attention.

>Monster, I’ve told you once….

Winona bared her fangs with a feral growl.

>I’ve told you twice….

Her fur was kinked, covered in soot.

>And I’m about to tell you thrice….

The circling stopped and she stood her ground.

>THIS! IS! MY HOME!

[CRUUUUUUSH!]

Wait a minute….

Even with her blade arm growing numb, PJ concentrated on where Winona stood, almost directly in front of her. Maybe she was hoping to goad Dolltania into rushing forward and then let her go stampeding over the edge…?

A sudden bark broke PJ’s train of thought-

>IT ENDS NOW!

-and she watched the two combatants charge like wild bulls.

Her heart sank, however, when Dolltania suddenly took flight, leaping and arcing through the air like she knew what Winona’s game plan was.

“GRRRGH!”

That cry of muffled outrage got lost against the blade in her maw, but PJ’s eyes widened as she bore witness to a shadow, larger than Dolltania, sweep up behind the action figure at the height of her leap.

[Destroy…?]

She glanced back a second too late.

-ROUND TWO BITCH!-

In the same instant Haymaker managed to, for a second time, connect his signature move over the back of Dolltania’s head, knocking her slightly off axis, Winona was airborne, albeit twisted, facing PJ.

>NOW!

There was no planning in this, no smart little pre-battle briefing. The entire thing was off the hoof, yet PJ reacted as though it were something discussed in depth.

She let go of Blueblood.

‘AAAA-’

Before the scream could fully leave his throat, she’d struck out one of her rear legs for him to grab onto, which he did, hastily. She spat the blade into her now free hoof and flung it at the rising canine.

“DO IT!”

That was all she had time to say before Bluebloods sudden snatching motion caused her other arm to give a stomach-turning ‘crack’.

“GAH!”

And then the two of them were falling, her blade left stabbed into the floor. But past the pain roaring up like wildfire in her arm, PJ watched as Winona’s fangs caught the weapon by its handle.

With her defenses rattled by Haymaker’s surprise attack, Dolltania could only stare as that accursed dog continued her rising twirl, now literally armed to the teeth.

[…Game over.]

A metallic flash filled the room, blaring out the destroyed wall, and when it quickly faded, Dolltania wasn’t surprised when her vision seemed to split in half, along with the rest of her abnormally hard figure.

As Winona came out of her swing, as the halved pieces of Dolltania plummeted to the floor, she noticed the edge of PJ’s blade was curiously stained crimson. A riddle that was easily solved by the dark red line slashed vertically down Haymaker’s front.

>…Oops.

The two of them collided mid-air and dropped, with Haymaker, despite being cut, folding his hooves around Winona’s battered form.

-Hold on tight, dog! This is going to hurt like--

+#CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SAFETY NET!#+

Sweetie Belle walked into the room with her head high, flanked by Lucky Strikes and Coco. Bypassing how Applebloom and Scoots managed to catch the wounded guard and dog, her eyes instantly honed in on the severed sections of Dolltania. That hostile red light was slowly but surely fading from her eyes as Sweetie approached.

{So. Did you destroy what you wanted?}

With her voice box split, how Dolltania managed to respond would probably forever remain a mystery.

[C-cruuuuuuuush…]

The voice faded. The light faded. Sweetie nodded.

~~~~~

<Six Minutes Prior>

The sudden yell of invigorationcaused him to look up. What he saw was confusing indeed. Was that… Blueblood? Hanging onto a Changeling? …A Changeling with blades? But then he heard the yell and saw the Changeling drop the royal stallion so as to throw her blade to some unseen person, an alley presumably.

Holding a plateful of brownies, Filthy Rich then blinked when that dull snapping of bone echoed about the area and the two fell.

$…Well, we can’t have that! Little Sweetie said to expect something like this. You know what to do, fellows.$

The ‘fellows’ happened to be a pair of suited-up pegasi on either side of Filthy. They nodded once and were airborne with a single flap of their wings. He watched them zoom off, knowing they’d make it. He’d made sure to bring only the best.

$The finest doctor in all of Equestria for the Changeling with the broken arm, I think. Yes, that’ll do nicely. Now then, the rest of you follow me!$

Filthy marched off with determination, and behind him? An armada of construction workers and archeologists, all of them paid double for their service and speedy arrival.

Their purpose was simple. From what Sweetie told him, and as far as he knew, his little diamond was coming home today along with the rest of her entourage. So they had about four or five hours to get the castle looking exactly as it’d been left.

An impossible job to be sure, but such a word didn’t exist in Filthy’s dictionary and he sure wasn’t about to pencil it in now. So the ground trembled as stallions and mares, all the best in their field, entered the ruined castle en masse, only needing a single glance before they got to work.

$Now then… where did Tiara say her adorable club was again? On the second floor, wasn’t it? Yes, yes, of course. Now I’ll just… um… well then. You there! And you, and you, too! Could you be so kind as to rebuild the stairs real quick? I need to ascend.$

~~~~~~~

One might think the Almighty Faust herself had lent a helping hoof by the way the castle seemed to shine. It looked even better than before Chitania had her way with it, both the inside and out restored to a breathtaking beauty.

And it was this beauty that caused a certain apple princess to stop and gawk. In fact, it made all of the returning Partyland goers give pause to admire and wonder.

Just how did…?

Once the initial stupefaction wore off, Applejack approached the front door, noticing the freshly dried new coat of paint, and pushed it open.

As sunlight trickled in, a single figure was visible, patiently sitting and waiting, tail wagging softly. It wasn’t quite clear who’s eyes began to water first, those of Winona, or Applejack.

>Well… this isn’t exactly how I wanted you see me again, my fur’s a fright and my collar’s scratched but… I’m home.

It came out as nothing more than a few begging whimpers.

Bags thudded to the ground and in a single movement, Applejack had dove in and scooped Winona up into her arms, happily swinging her about.

~Winona! Girl, what- Ah don’t- how’d ya git herself all the way over here?~

>It’s… it’s a long story….

Behind them stepped forward PJ, one of her arms in a cast; Blueblood, adorned with band-aids of all shapes and size; Haymaker with gauze wrapped around his midsection; the cutie mark crusaders, two of them waving ecstatically while one only smiled; Coco, playfully flicking Scootaloo’s tail; Lucky Strikes, still looking beyond pissed; and finally, Filthy Rich, who extended his batch of ‘welcome home’ brownies.

$Care for one? There's more in the Gun Club room so feel free to be greedy, Princess.$

~…What… what happened to y’all?!~

“Like your dog there said, it’s a long story.”

~WHAT?~

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >SA
"Cadence"
'Chrysalis'
[18]
{42}
^2^
(Mane-iac)
=???=
-???-
_???_
~~~~

They didn't so much as walk back into the castle as limp.

Or be wheeled, in Chrysalis's case. Not that she was complaining. It was fun.

Still, at last, they walked into their castle. They were home.

>THANK! YOU!... Huh, was about to thank Celestia for some reason. Is that weird? That's super weird I would say that. Thank you how? She didn't, like, hire the train. It's our train. We run it. Why am I thanking her?

"Dear, you're overthinking it."

>I'm just saying, I don't get it.

'Clearly, you should thank me.'

[Thank Chrysalis doesn't have a good ring to it. Hard to take you seriously when your name means 'wrapping around something that is not yet a butterfly.']

'And it's hard to take you seriously when your name means 'a giant piece of sh-'

{MAJESTY!}

'I stand by it.'

^YAAAYYY! I'M GONNA GO MAKE SURE ALL'A MY TOYS ARE STILL THERE!^

>Where would they go.

(AHHHAHAHAHHA! YOU NEVER KNOOOOOWWW, LUMINOUS SHEEEILD! THEY MIGHT SPRING TO LIFE, AND ATTEMPT TO TAKE OVER THE CASTLE!)

>...I hate that you have precedent for that now. Still, it looks like everything is just fine-

To challenge him, just to show him that he knows nothing of this world, the doors exploded.

All of them.

=MAJESTY LOOK OUT!=

A tidal wave of papers started to pour towards them, ponies literally being carried in it as it it were real water. From within it's center was a maw beneath two blank, hollow holes for eyes, teeth looking like blades though they were but paper. The wave bent high, scraping against the ceiling, and they could feel the force that would yet consume them. All of them snapped into a fighting stance, and got ready.

All... except one.

[Stop.]

And just like that, it froze.

It wobbled, seeming to have trouble holding it's form.

[Go back and wait for me, I will get to you in a minute.]

It shuddered.

It rumbled.

And then, it went away.

The three temp ponies left behind in it's wake could only gawk, awestruck as their 'princess' walked up to them, outstretching a caring hoof.

[Are you all alright?]

Numb, they nodded, each one in turn taking the offered hoof to get up.

=T-thank you, your majesty.=

-Highness, we're... we're so sorry, we tried, really we did, but it was just too much.-

_We couldn't handle it._

=I guess... heh, I guess that's why you're the one with the matching set, hey?=

She just rolled her eyes, and laughed.

[No, nothing like that. You don't have to be some sort of ascended being to do this job, really. Just takes drive.]

They shared a look, unconvinced.

[Thank you for the work you did, I do appreciate it. And if you're feeling emboldened by your experience, I wouldn't mind if you did a little more in the future. I'm telling you, it just takes practice. What do you say?]

Her look, caring and understanding.

Her words, inspiring and uplifting.

Their response...

-=_NOPE!_=-

A fine showing of what it looks like when three crystal ponies haul ass.

[...You can stop hiding now.]

Curiously, Cadence poked her head out from where she had been hiding behind Chrysalis.

"I was doing no such thing! I was merely using Chrysalis as a meat shield."

'HEY!'

18 just rolled her eyes, and headed towards her office.

>Hey? 18? Don't you want to relax a little bit first? We just got home.

She just looked back, and gave a smile.

[Sorry, Shiny. But it seems like I have someone waiting for me.]

>...So do you actually know why your paperwork came alive? What was up with that?

[No idea!]

She seemed totally unbothered as she turned back, and headed down the hall.

^BYE 18! HAVE FUN!^

"Sweetie, she's not going to have fun, she's going to do the paperwork."

^Awww, come on Caddy! It's 18...^

There was something about the pure serenity of seeing her desk, immaculate, completely surrounded by stacks upon stacks. Something...

^She may complain, but she likes it!^

...Magical.
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