a guest Jul 22nd, 2015 1,016 Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
  1.                    Act I: Hamlet's insults and flattery.
  2.                    Scene I: The insulting of Romeo.
  3. [Enter Hamlet and Romeo]
  4. Hamlet:
  5. You lying stupid fatherless big smelly half-witted coward! You are as
  6. stupid as the difference between a handsome rich brave hero and thyself!
  7. Speak your mind!
  8. You are as brave as the sum of your fat little stuffed misused dusty
  9. old rotten codpiece and a beautiful fair warm peaceful sunny summer's
  10. day. You are as healthy as the difference between the sum of the
  11. sweetest reddest rose and my father and yourself! Speak your mind!
  12. You are as cowardly as the sum of yourself and the difference
  13. between a big mighty proud kingdom and a horse. Speak your mind.
  14. Speak your mind!
  15. [Exit Romeo]
  16.                    Scene II: The praising of Juliet.
  17. [Enter Juliet]
  18. Hamlet:
  19. Thou art as sweet as the sum of the sum of Romeo and his horse and his
  20. black cat! Speak thy mind!
  21. [Exit Juliet]
  22.                    Scene III: The praising of Ophelia.
  23. [Enter Ophelia]
  24. Hamlet:
  25. Thou art as lovely as the product of a large rural town and my amazing
  26. bottomless embroidered purse. Speak thy mind!
  27. Thou art as loving as the product of the bluest clearest sweetest sky
  28. and the sum of a squirrel and a white horse. Thou art as beautiful as
  29. the difference between Juliet and thyself. Speak thy mind!
  30. [Exeunt Ophelia and Hamlet]
  32.                    Act II: Behind Hamlet's back.
  33.                    Scene I: Romeo and Juliet's conversation.
  34. [Enter Romeo and Juliet]
  35. Romeo:
  36. Speak your mind. You are as worried as the sum of yourself and the
  37. difference between my small smooth hamster and my nose. Speak your
  38. mind!
  39. Juliet:
  40. Speak YOUR mind! You are as bad as Hamlet! You are as small as the
  41. difference between the square of the difference between my little pony
  42. and your big hairy hound and the cube of your sorry little
  43. codpiece. Speak your mind!
  44. [Exit Romeo]
  45.                    Scene II: Juliet and Ophelia's conversation.
  46. [Enter Ophelia]
  47. Juliet:
  48. Thou art as good as the quotient between Romeo and the sum of a small
  49. furry animal and a leech. Speak your mind!
  50. Ophelia:
  51. Thou art as disgusting as the quotient between Romeo and twice the
  52. difference between a mistletoe and an oozing infected blister! Speak
  53. your mind!
  54. [Exeunt]
RAW Paste Data
We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the Cookies Policy. OK, I Understand