Chapter 7: A Fire to Be Kindled

Chapter 7:  A Fire to Be Kindled

"Tish's mom kicked her out yesterday, so would it be all right for her to stay here for a little while?"

"Her mo-"
There's a moment of quiet where mom just stops, staring at Lythlia.  It's as though her thought processes have come to a complete halt.  I can almost see her mind trying to deal with the inherent impossibility that it's been given.  When she finally manages to wrap her head around what was just said the effect is immediate: She takes a long, deep, breath as she turns to Tish, her expression slowly collapsing into one of utter shock and sorrow.

It's like watching a train wreck.

Tish appears as uncomfortable as anyone when mom immediately embraces her and starts to dolefully, quietly speak.  "Oh. you poor, dear, sweet, innocent little thing, how could she?"  Mom starts rocking very slightly back and forth, causing Tish to reflexively hold her hands out to her side to try and steady herself.  Her eyes are wide with some mixture of shock and confusion, as though she'd never dealt with anything like this.  Maybe she hasn't.  Then, just as soon as she started, mom pulls back and holds the confused Manticore by the shoulders, staring seriously into her eyes.  "Well don't you worry, you can stay here as long as you need."

I open my mouth.  I don't know why.  What do I want to say?
Am I going to demand she stay elsewhere?
Do I want to let her have a place to stay?
Do I just want her to suffer?
I close my mouth.  Whatever this is, it's fine.  She won't bother me, I won't bother her.  She'll only be here for a few days before her mom realizes what a raging bitch she's being.  This is just one of those coincidences.  The only thing that really surprises me right now is how unsurprised I am.  Maybe I saw this coming, but never really thought about it.  You get kicked out, so of course you tell your best friend about it.

Am I even angry?  Well, yes, but not about today.  Today was just messed up for everyone.  I'm mad about everything else she's ever done.  Today, though, I'm just tired, but I can deal with that.

My sudden sense of quiet composure is only slightly dispelled as mom drags Tish past me toward the stairs, talking about the guest bedroom she'll be staying in.  For the briefest instant she glances over to me, as if just to make sure that I was here.  Then, just as quickly, she's gone.  I couldn't tell what she was thinking.  Hells, right now I can't tell what I'm thinking.

I look back to the room to find Lythalia watching me.  No anger, no discomfort, no emotion of any sort.  She's just watching me.  Vee is wide-eyed with all six eyes.  I know she doesn't have total control over her snakes, but it's still kinda weird when she does that.  Meanwhile, Safi's looking at me like I'm about to explode.  It's no wonder, I'm guessing the news about what happened spread throughout the school in minutes.  That also explains why Tera and Cara both just look saddened by Tish's story.  They wouldn't have heard anything, so to them this is all just something sad happening and mom being her usual self.  Dad looks like he might have the slightest idea that something is amiss, but he'll probably just leave it be.  That's what I want anyway.  I think.

I actually have no idea what I think about this.  Why is that worse than the rest of the day?  Why is this more difficult?  I need to go lay down and think about all of this before my head explodes.

Before I can do that I hear mom's voice approaching from the stairs.  "But hey, the rest can wait.  First we need to get some food in you.  You have had something to eat today, right?"
I feel a prickling, needling sensation on my scalp as it strikes me that I'm getting zero time to myself for at least an hour.
Tish's voice is so much smaller.  "I, uh, yeah.  Yeah."
Then I see them both, and mom looks just as aware that she was lied to as everyone else.  For a moment there's actual anger in her eyes, but it's gone when she glances back, "Well then, it'll just be an ordinary dinner, right?"

---

And that it is, for everyone else.  For Tish I think this was the strangest experience of her life.  Mom pulled out the slow cooker today and had made some sort of not-really-barbecue chicken dish with a side of random greens and one of those ridiculously sweet cornbreads.

So it's an average dish.

Dad pulled out an extra chair from somewhere, and stuck it between where Lythalia and Evette usually sit, forcing everyone else slightly closer together.  Which, I guess, is fine.  It's not the first time I've been stuck between Vee and Safi.  I can't help but watch Tish, though.  I think we're all sort of keeping an eye on her - this strange, foreign figure inserted awkwardly into our everyday.  Her reaction to the meal is way more entertaining than it should have been.  I can't tell if she's about to start crying or drooling.  For a second that's all she does, as though hesitant to damage the piece of art sitting on front of her.  That doesn't last long, though.

Conversation is practically non-existent.  Maybe it's the sense that it's not just private talk with family.  Maybe it's that whichever direction you look there's either Tera or Tish scarfing down food like they're afraid it'll try to escape.  Still, if it's just going to be slightly uncomfortable then that's fine.

"So the uh, the guy'll be over tomorrow to replace your door, kiddo."

It takes me a minute to realize that I'm being addressed.  It takes another to actually process what was just said.
"Tomorrow?"  I stare at him, still feeling my lack of sleep from the night before in my eyes and muscles.  I can't have another night like that.  I need my locks, dammit.
He raises a hand up in surrender, "Hey, I tried to get them to come over today, but apparently they were booked."
I'm not angry.  I'm still not angry.  This time, though, it's because I'm too tired to be.  All of the exhaustion of a sleepless night of fretting and pacing and planning have all just climbed up into my head and the weight of it all is threatening to make me collapse into my half-eaten chicken.  The hunger fades, leaving behind only the vaguest suggestion of nausea, as though to warn me away from any smart ideas I might have of trying to finish my food.  Everything aches or hurts or just feels sick, within the span of seconds.

"It happens."
That's all I manage to say.  It's all I can work up right now.  It happens.
Yeah, technically, it does, but am I actually saying anything when I point that out?  Does it require my pointing it out for people to know that "it" happens?
Hells, what am I thinking right now?

I start laughing in the middle of dinner and immediately clasp a hand over my mouth to stop.  Everyone's turned to look at me, wondering what just happened.  Don't mind me, you guys, I'm just having a chicken-induced stroke.
"Just remembered something from school," I lie.  I'm better at lying than Tish.
Did I just feel proud about that?

I'm so relieved when Evette drags me off that I don't even mind that she said that she was "going to have some dessert."

---

My body winds its way to my room without any conscious decision from its sleep-deprived, stress-addled brain.  It feels strange watching it do its thing.  It acts, but I simply watch and try not to get in the way.  I feel like a ghost possessing my own body.

"Non, dear brother," I hear, as I feel a pair of hands press against my shoulders mid-step.  "Should we not have a more private place for this?"
She asks with that stupid, fake accent that she thinks - I don't know.  I give up on the line of thought, too fatigued to bother filling the rest of it in.  Whatever part of my mind is responsible for these insights informs me that I'm standing outside Evette's room.

"Dear brother?"
I turn and look at her.  Her head is tilted slightly to the side, brow tense with concern.  Huh, did she want me to say something?
"Sure."
The smile signals that she apparently did.  A spectral arm pushes open the door as her physical pair press lightly but insistently onward.

Her room is dressed like a French maid.  The thought almost makes me break into another fit of socially awkward laughter.  It's true, though.  Everything is black and white, overlapping and lined with lace and frills.  Large black curtains cover the only window, making it feel like it's significantly later in the day.  The room, the bed, everything looks unused and untouched.  I guess she doesn't need or use the covers or sheets.

Her arms twist around one of mine and pull.  "Come now, dear brother, you look so tired.  Won't you rest for a little while?"
Yeah, that sounds like a-
Whoa, hey, what?  I come to a stop, causing Evette to stop right as she's about to pull me onto her bed.  The look of confusion on her face matches my own sudden sense of confusion about what I'm doing.  Is this a problem?  Am I worried she's going to do something?

"I'll stand."  It doesn't matter so I stop questioning it.  I'll trust my instincts here.  Why wouldn't I?  They've earned that much, at least.
"Well, all right, then," she pauses as she relaxes again, looking over me, "then won't you turn down the light?"
She could've phrased that question any other way, but no.  Couldn't just let me relax.  The sudden irritation is so intense that it's almost difficult to diminish the flame.  Why can't I rest?  Why can't I just relax?  Damn, stupid instincts, not giving me any explanation.

"lily was talking with us about you, you know."  I don't know, actually.  Evette sets herself down on her bed, leaning back and propping herself on her hands.  It gives the effect of pushing out her chest, making the front of her dress visibly strain.
"You seem to be getting quite a lot of attention lately."
"Lately?"  She's obviously never seen the letters.
"Well," she tips her head slightly, "that is how it seems.  I've not mixed with your peers," and here she makes a gesture that is dismissive while also vaguely resembling her trying to wipe off something unpleasant.

She leans forward again and reaches out a hand, gesturing for mine.  I give it to her.  She grabs it by the fingers, reaching forward with her other hand as the spectral limbs fade into existence around my arm.  The buzzing feeling returns, more obvious now that I know to look for it.

She hums slightly as her smile spreads, "You know, there's something wonderfully decadent about tasting something that so many others seek, but cannot have."  She leans in conspiratorially as her hands lightly trace over and around my palm, up and around my arm.  She speaks in a half-whisper, as though simply going along with the appropriate protocol of passing secrets.  "The way Lily spoke about you!  'Breaking in that boorish Manticore,' 'drawing gasps from every mouth,' 'exuding so much spirit energy that you could taste it on the air.'  Why, dear brother," she says almost giddily, "I think you've taken all three of us as admirers."

Three Wights.  This, plus two more.
Dammit.

My hand twitches and pulls as she draws her fingers around random, strange paths.  Her fingers draw twisting lines around the back, along my thumb, between the fingers, down them from the tip, circling the palm, and then beginning again.  "You don't seem pleased to learn about their interest.  If you'd like, I could tell them that I've already laid claim to you and your energy.  Or could it be that you don't enjoy my ministrations?"
Is there a correct answer for this?  Can I use this?  Maybe, but by the time I figure out how the opportunity will have passed, so I'll just leave it to my future self to figure out and chastise myself for not having done so.
Stupid future self, he's such an asshole.

"Well, I must admit that I certainly enjoying playing with you - seeing you twitch and pour out energy in my hands."
I pull my hand back, my light flaring back up.  "And with that, I'm out."
I leave to the sound of a playful, half-annoyed whine.

---

I have two parts of a door.  That's not enough.  Doors are more than the sum of their parts.  I don't even know what I mean with that.  I turn off my game; I can't play right now.  I stare angrily at my room for a minute.  I try turning the game back on, but I exit out before I hit the login page.

I can't deal with this.

I sit on my bed, but stop before laying down.
She could just walk right in.  If she tries something, what happens then?  Would I kill her?  Would it be the same as in that vision?  Is that just automatically what would happen if I get hit with Manticore venom?

I can't allow that.

I could probably still be fine if she wasn't here.  Why couldn't she just find somewhere else to stay?  Just- somewhere else.  To stay.  Huh.  I repeat the thought in my head a few times, trying to piece together the extremely slow epiphany that's working its way through the pile of jelly that my brain feels like.

I can't stay here.

So I'll just have to stay somewhere else.  I pull out my phone.

shackleborn > hey
shackleborn > i need to borrow your couch
greenmachine isn't here right now.

I stare blankly at my phone for ten minutes before she gets back.

greenmachine > my couch
greenmachine > why my couch
greenmachine > ?
shackleborn > for couching
shackleborn > just for the night
greenmachine > ???
shackleborn > its a story
greenmachine > oh hey talkin bout stories
greenmachine > TISH
greenmachine > !!!
shackleborn > yeah
shackleborn > thats not two stories
shackleborn > its just really long
greenmachine > i am so fuckin curious rite now
greenmachine > but not the couch
greenmachine > sis will wake u up
greenmachine > w/ bjs
greenmachine > plural
shackleborn > ah
greenmachine > u can use my room tho
shackleborn > im not stealing your bed
greenmachine > lol
greenmachine > dont u have a bedroll mr boy ranger
greenmachine > ?
shackleborn > we agreed never to speak of that again
greenmachine > shut up and grab ur stupid cap and turniket
shackleborn > *tourniquet
greenmachine > lol
greenmachine > lol tourniquet
greenmachine > lol

My stuff will have to fend for itself for a little while.  I'll just have to look over my clothes for weird symbols or additional socks when I get back.  It's fine.  Well, it's not, but it's worth being able to sleep.

shackleborn > ill heading over later then
greenmachine > srsly tho
greenmachine > lol

I turn off the chat program.

---

It's almost time to go when I see that Vee's door is open.  I'm not sure why; almost everyone's already gone to bed.  It's just fumes and discomfort keeping me going.  I pass by it getting to the bathroom, only to see Vee spot me and wave me in.  I spend a moment considering the offer.

I close the door behind myself and head over to the bed where she's lifted herself up onto something vaguely resembling a kneeling position.  As close as she can come without having knees, anyway.  "Hey," she whispers loudly.
I nod at her.
She leans in, staring intently at me.  "So, I'm guessing you didn't want to say anything."
I nod at her.
She furrows her brow.  "Why?"
I open my mouth, and once again fail to find anything to say about what I think about this.  I shrug.
She shifts her head to give me a sideways glance, "Do you want someone else to say something?"
"No.  It's fine, I think."

She chews on that for a moment, visibly working her lower lip.  Then she looks back into my eyes and her expression shifts into a smile, "Is it true, what you did?"
I can't really imagine much changing in the retelling of that story, so I guess it's safe to say that the rumors were probably close to accurate.  I nod at her.
She slowly shifts forward until we're barely a foot away, still looking over my face.  "That's amazing.  You're like a modern-day adventurer."
That's what gets me.  "What?  No I'm not."
"You fought a Manticore," she insists.  "And won.  Twice!"
"Yeah, and if I'd gone to her house, killed her and her family, and taken everything that wasn't bolted down?  Then I'd be like an adventurer."
"Well, yeah.  Modern.  You're like a kind, noble adventurer."
I'm not going to put up with this comparison anymore.  "Oh, so not like an adventurer, then."
She holds back a weary sigh, still trying to salvage her original thought.  "Oh come on, who else could've done what you did?"
"You're right, who else could possibly afford two feet of chain and a lantern?"

There's the slightest rustling sound and then she's pressed against me.  "Val, when did you start denying every compliment we give you?"

Probably the night when I left one of my sisters alone and cold, and listened silently as she asked me to help her.

"Who knows?"
I pull myself away and make to leave.
"Why not stay here for the night?  I know your door's busted.  Won't you be more comfortable with me?"
"Nah.  Not tonight."
I head out.

---

It's still cloudy from the thunderstorm a while back.
No, wait, that was yesterday.
Yesterday?
Oh hells, it's been a long day.

The complete cloud cover has left most of the roads pitch black, save for the lights coming out of a few houses along the way.  I'm not particularly worried.  I've never been particularly worried.  It's been years since I've even had a hint of a problem when I'm out walking.  I don't like tempting fate, but it's just not something that seems like a threat.

I turn down the road and see the slightest shadow of a figure on the right doorstep.  I think it just waved at me.  For the slightest moment I wonder how she recognized me.  I'm really tired.

Sure enough, I see her when we get closer.  She's wearing one of those huge, baggy shirts she sleeps in.  They're like XXXL's.  They hang off of her shoulders and chest and almost reach her knees.  "Did I wake you up?
She give me an irritated look.  "Dude, everything wakes me up."
Fair enough.  I tip my head to the door, "Shall we?"
We head inside.  I turn down the light, just in case.  Not that I'm particularly worried her family would mind.  It's just-
I don't know what it is.  Maybe I'm just getting more secretive.  Maybe I'm just getting more frustrated.  Maybe I just don't want to deal with anything else right now.

She opens her door and immediately slumps onto her bed.
"You wanna hear about the thing?"
She stares blankly at me for a minute.  "Tomorrow.  You look like how I feel."
Good enough.

I sleep like a rock.