4chan University - Chapter 4

>be Seamus
>just finished an improptu concert at Red Hall
>everyone liked it
>you suppress an urge to play Oh Comely to make them take back their applause
>taking off the guitar, you hand it back to Keksandra
>"I expected something danker, but that was a soft 7."
>glaring intensifies
"Okay Kekthony Sandratano"
>she runs off
>Conrad comes up to you
>"dude that was tits! Nice job. Did you play in a band."
"sort of, but I didn't play guitar. I'm more into appreciating art than creating it."
>"I gotcha. So you see anyone cute?"
>you look around the room
>Emily is still in the corner staring at the medusa
>The sisters are giggling to each other while another girl listens
>a cute girl walks through the door of the common room
>cute sailor-esque dress, curly brown pig tails in her hair.
"Who the hell is that?"
>"that's Ayunami's sister, Chiyo."
"Dibs"
>she could be the groupie you swore you never wanted
>tfw you'll never listen to records while she asks you why you like songs about Anne Frank and incest
>conrad starts to protest but remains silent
>"HEY Huey! Huey! Huey!"
>a shrill voice reaches your ears
>Keksandra is yelling and running around looking for someone
>she grabs your arm
>"There you are Huey!"
>staring
>"your new nickname is Huey. Like Huey Lewis and the News! I named you after the best band ever."
>you recoil in horror
>"let's go meet people Huey!"
>groan
>she parades you around the room introducing you to other students
>you stop in front of a tall skinny guy in a greasy shirt and the longest neckbeard you've ever seen
>"Huey, this is Tyler. He runs the DnD campaign for the dorm. He also has a huge collection of toy soldiers."
>Tyler clears his throat
>"Actually, you may call me Teeg. And they're not toy soldiers, they're tabletop miniatures. I specialize in tradi..."
>that's probably what he said
>You're too entranced by the crumbs in his beard
>They float effortlessly in a tangle of matted hair
>like stars in a picture of space
>"And that's why I play Warmachine and not pleb-tier Warhammer. Do you game, Seamus?"
"Uhh, Monopoly?"
>he stares
"Okay, well it was great to meet you. I'll hit you up if I want to play DnD sometime."
>Keksandra moves you to the couch
>"This is Haruhi. She's an art major."
>Keksandra points to a girl in short pleated skirt, thigh-highs, and a tight blouse
>Haruhi shakes your hand
>"I major in the best porn"
"What kind of porn is 'the best porn'?"
>"The best porn is the one that gets you off"
>majestic
>Keksandra points to the two other girls on the couch
>"That's Usagi and Lily. They're super gay."
>"Super duper gay"
>they spoke at the same time
>terrifying
>you look around for the cute girl, Chiyo.
>shes up getting a drink
>is she even legal to drink?
>let's go find out
>keksandra grabs your arm
>"You want me to introduce you to Chiyo? She's a freshman too."
"Why are you being so nice to me?"
>"You got dubs. I have to respect the dubs."
>this tiny meme-addicted child could teach you a few things
>but for now, time to talk to a girl
"Lead the way"
>she takes your hand and leads you to the Chiyo
>right as you get next to her, Keksandra taps her on the shoulder
>"Have you met Seamus?"
>she runs off
>bitch
>"Hi Seamus, I'm I'm Chiyo."
>her voice is soft and angelic
"H-hi. Did you c-catch my song?"
>spaghetti is in your pockets
>"You were the one playing? You had just finished when I got here."
"Y-yeah. Keksandra convinced me to play."
>"Who?"
>goddammit
"The small girl running around here, somewhere. It's not important."
>palms soaked
>will Chuck steal your spaghetti for pasta night?
"What kind of music do you like?"
>"Whatever's on the radio, at a comfortable volume
>screams internally
>she sees your displeasure and starts giggling
>"Only joking. I like like emo mostly. With a little bit of punk on top."
"My Chemical Romance emo or American Football emo?"
>"American Football is pleb-tier. I like Sunny Day Real Estate."
>more sweating
>more spaghetti
>is your nose bleeding
>shes giggling again
>"I don't suppose you're called a pleb very often Mr. Seamus?"
"I pride myself on having an extra-obnoxious opinion about music."
>"Well maybe you can show me your record collection sometime."
"Only if I can see your art collection."
>"Oh you wouldn't like my art. I'm not very good."
>she blushes and looks down
>now shes the one with spaghetti
>too fucking cute
"I doubt that very much. What do you draw?"
>"Cute things."
"I like cute things, like you."
>she goes red
>you go red
>spaghetti fills the room