(10:03:11 PM) Janine Gonzalez: dont go
(10:03:28 PM) Janine Gonzalez: this is our home we built together
(10:09:09 PM) Janine Gonzalez: please just dignify me witb a response
(10:09:32 PM) Janine Gonzalez: please
(10:09:35 PM) Janine Gonzalez: bc im still me
(10:10:14 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: ur making me want to cry
(10:10:20 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i literally just came home from getting food
(10:10:25 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and these feelings have been builidng up
(10:10:30 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and as i look atht screen
(10:10:35 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: you send me those two messages
(10:10:50 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i dont really wanna talk about this its sad
(10:11:26 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: ill talk to you after i eat maybe
(10:11:34 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: im starved
(10:11:43 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: bbl
(10:21:28 PM) Janine Gonzalez: ok
(10:29:52 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i dont want to make a real mistakw
(10:29:56 PM) Janine Gonzalez: honestly
(10:30:06 PM) Janine Gonzalez: thats our home we smiled when we made it
(10:30:20 PM) Janine Gonzalez: it seemed like second nature but it was lovely
(10:32:48 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: listen janine im sorry
(10:32:53 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: like, its not a mistake
(10:33:01 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: there are good times
(10:33:09 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and thats why ive been on and off crying like a psycho
(10:33:21 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: it doesnt work
(10:33:31 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: at least i know it doesnt work for me
(10:34:19 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: theres no mistake to make
(10:34:25 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: what did nando
(10:34:32 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: specifically say about mistakes
(10:35:49 PM) Janine Gonzalez: plrase dont bring nando into thus
(10:35:49 PM) Janine Gonzalez: this
(10:35:55 PM) Janine Gonzalez: it wasnt a mistake
(10:36:02 PM) Janine Gonzalez: is that really what u think?
(10:36:08 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: u said
(10:36:12 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: you dont want to make a mistake
(10:36:26 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: im saying that its not a mistake to end it
(10:36:30 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: not that it was a mistake to start it.
(10:46:31 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i dont think it was a mistake to start it
(10:46:52 PM) Janine Gonzalez: aymon im hesitant to say this on IM but i love you
(10:46:56 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: me neither
(10:47:02 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: I love you too
(10:47:09 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: but always will
(10:47:39 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: but... must i expain?
(10:48:06 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: *explain
(10:49:05 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: you know.
(10:49:38 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i dont know
(10:49:40 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i dont know what
(10:49:42 PM) Janine Gonzalez: im doing
(10:49:45 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: listen
(10:49:47 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: you do.
(10:49:47 PM) Janine Gonzalez: and you know that
(10:49:52 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: it feels right
(10:49:53 PM) Janine Gonzalez: no
(10:49:53 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i
(10:49:55 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: its just sad
(10:49:57 PM) Janine Gonzalez: honesty dont
(10:49:59 PM) Janine Gonzalez: and it doesnt
(10:50:02 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: you do janie
(10:50:05 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: im sorry i hugged you
(10:50:07 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i mean
(10:50:09 PM) Janine Gonzalez: me laying on the lovesac
(10:50:13 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i shoudnt have
(10:50:18 PM) Janine Gonzalez: thats yours right
(10:50:23 PM) Janine Gonzalez: but really its ours
(10:50:30 PM) Janine Gonzalez: our memories
(10:50:34 PM) Janine Gonzalez: forever
(10:50:38 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: maybe i badly wanted you to see the memories
(10:50:41 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i just wanted things to work
(10:50:49 PM) Janine Gonzalez: yeah well it worked
(10:50:51 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i wanted to draw out the emotions
(10:50:59 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: im a selfish person
(10:51:05 PM) Janine Gonzalez: okkk
(10:51:10 PM) Janine Gonzalez: well ive been crying
(10:51:12 PM) Janine Gonzalez: and drinking
(10:51:19 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: aww janine, its really ok
(10:51:22 PM) Janine Gonzalez: and smokung the shit out of cigarettes
(10:51:26 PM) Janine Gonzalez: no its not
(10:51:29 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: ive already been doing this
(10:51:32 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: for like 7 days
(10:51:34 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i was feeling this at the gallery
(10:51:39 PM) Janine Gonzalez: im so sorry
(10:51:40 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: well
(10:51:42 PM) Janine Gonzalez: really
(10:51:44 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: its cause i talked to you today
(10:51:44 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i wasnt thinking
(10:51:49 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i wasnt thinkig
(10:51:50 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i was just very on top of myself
(10:51:52 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i really want
(10:51:55 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: acting like the me you like
(10:52:00 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: listen, its an illusion
(10:52:03 PM) Janine Gonzalez: right
(10:52:04 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: it really really is.
(10:52:05 PM) Janine Gonzalez: thanks
(10:52:11 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i mean
(10:52:13 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: not acting
(10:52:15 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: behaving
(10:52:17 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i guess every guy is just an illusion
(10:52:22 PM) Janine Gonzalez: truly
(10:52:26 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: not intentionally
(10:52:28 PM) Janine Gonzalez: an illusion, lie, and fake
(10:52:30 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: janine i was just happy
(10:52:31 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i get it
(10:52:33 PM) Janine Gonzalez: im stupid
(10:52:35 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: to enjoy you today
(10:52:36 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: calm down
(10:52:36 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i love you
(10:52:41 PM) Janine Gonzalez: bye
(10:52:43 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: I really love you too, and i had a good day
(10:52:44 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i dont know
(10:52:46 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: you need to reread.
(10:52:50 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i wasnt "acting"
(10:52:55 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i miss you so much
(10:52:58 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: what i mean was i wasnt like depressed today
(10:52:59 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i have to go
(10:53:00 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i was clear minded
(10:53:05 PM) Janine Gonzalez: or at least bbl
(10:53:12 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: be nice to urself
(10:53:15 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: urs fineeee
(10:53:18 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: only a day ago
(10:53:22 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: you were where i need to be
(10:53:30 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and i dragged you down because it gurt me so much
(10:53:35 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: that it seemed like u didnt give  ashit
(10:53:42 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: you like
(10:53:46 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: are where i want to be
(10:53:52 PM) Janine Gonzalez: im not
(10:53:55 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i selfishly forced you to
(10:53:55 PM) Janine Gonzalez: youre so wronf
(10:53:56 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: see
(10:54:03 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: the pain so i could verify
(10:54:06 PM) Janine Gonzalez: realy?
(10:54:08 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: that u loved me
(10:54:14 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: cause it seemed liek u didnt
(10:54:35 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i mean i wanted you to remember we were happy. to me it feels cathartic
(10:54:40 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: you probably could have done without it
(10:54:46 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i dont know
(10:54:49 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i always never know
(10:54:59 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and my way is usually not everyone elses way
(10:55:06 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and i never figure that out
(10:55:08 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: in time
(10:55:22 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: im sorry, please feel better.
(10:55:33 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i cant
(10:55:36 PM) Janine Gonzalez: ive been like
(10:55:43 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: im sorry i did this, but its sickeningly making me feel like
(10:55:44 PM) Janine Gonzalez: thrown into the emotion
(10:55:45 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: oh thank god
(10:55:50 PM) Janine Gonzalez: ?
(10:55:51 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: this woman actually loved me
(10:55:55 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and im not crazy
(10:55:56 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and a fool
(10:55:57 PM) Janine Gonzalez: woman lol
(10:56:06 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i love how you respect me
(10:56:15 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i need that
(10:56:22 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i took it for granted
(10:56:27 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: no
(10:56:30 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: your just looking
(10:56:33 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: at the wrong places
(10:56:36 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: anybody
(10:56:37 PM) Janine Gonzalez: the last place for me is a kitchen
(10:56:40 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: worth your respect
(10:56:43 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: is gonna respect you
(10:56:44 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: yeah.
(10:56:48 PM) Janine Gonzalez: youre right
(10:56:54 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: unless u decide you want empanadas
(10:56:58 PM) Janine Gonzalez: that makes a lot of sense
(10:57:01 PM) Janine Gonzalez: lol
(10:57:03 PM) Janine Gonzalez: for you yes
(10:57:07 PM) Janine Gonzalez: ill make them
(10:57:09 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: haha or anyone else
(10:57:10 PM) Janine Gonzalez: sorry
(10:57:13 PM) Janine Gonzalez: too much??
(10:57:18 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: janine its normal
(10:57:21 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: dont worry about it
(10:57:34 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: you seemed to be so schocked
(10:57:38 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: when i acted this way with you
(10:57:43 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: for the whole week
(10:57:45 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: its ok
(10:57:48 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: it fixes itself
(10:57:50 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: its natural
(10:57:59 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: this is what ppl go thru
(10:58:04 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: well both be happy and fine
(10:58:12 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and probably have a healthy friendship later
(10:58:14 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i dont want to
(10:58:18 PM) Janine Gonzalez: we get along
(10:58:21 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: no we dont
(10:58:28 PM) Janine Gonzalez: yes. we do
(10:58:33 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: 500 days didnt do enough with this part of the movie
(10:58:38 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i can work on things
(10:58:40 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: where his little sister asks him to like
(10:58:43 PM) Janine Gonzalez: and so can you
(10:58:43 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: look back
(10:58:47 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: on the parts that dont work
(10:58:49 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: listen i cant
(10:58:52 PM) Janine Gonzalez: they do
(10:58:53 PM) Janine Gonzalez: work
(10:58:59 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i can live with them
(10:59:00 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and i cant stand you sometimes
(10:59:04 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: like
(10:59:04 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: really
(10:59:06 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i can live with it
(10:59:08 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: like i cannot.
(10:59:12 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i cant.
(10:59:12 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i can stand you always
(10:59:16 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: no you cant.
(10:59:24 PM) Janine Gonzalez: yes...i can
(10:59:26 PM) Janine Gonzalez: im sorry
(10:59:26 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: please let this be mutual understanding
(10:59:36 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: its ok janine ur so happy before
(10:59:40 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i made u wallow
(10:59:43 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i shouldnt have
(10:59:45 PM) Janine Gonzalez: yeaj
(10:59:46 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i guess
(10:59:54 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: im an emotional succubus?
(10:59:54 PM) Janine Gonzalez: tony is texting me
(10:59:55 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: haha
(11:00:00 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: except im not a girl.
(11:00:01 PM) Janine Gonzalez: but i bet hes looking at othwr girls
(11:00:05 PM) Janine Gonzalez: and flirting
(11:00:11 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: who knows.
(11:00:12 PM) Janine Gonzalez: and not thinking about me
(11:00:17 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i know
(11:00:25 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i mean i dont
(11:00:30 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: anyways basically
(11:00:33 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: its like be coming to you
(11:00:40 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: telling you im in lveo with allison
(11:00:52 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: but shes so disrectful she doesnt understand blah blah balh
(11:01:00 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and the actual cause being
(11:01:09 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: that shes stupid and not worth my time and energy
(11:01:10 PM) Janine Gonzalez: you know
(11:01:12 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i dont know.
(11:01:14 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i really like
(11:01:21 PM) Janine Gonzalez: tried with tony
(11:01:25 PM) Janine Gonzalez: and i still want to try
(11:01:25 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: janine
(11:01:28 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: iven been here
(11:01:31 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: like trying to destroy it
(11:01:32 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i just think hes a pleaser
(11:01:37 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: im such a confused
(11:01:38 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i dont need a pleaser
(11:01:38 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: antagonizer
(11:01:43 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: you cant trust me right now
(11:01:48 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i dont even know what my own intentions are
(11:01:51 PM) Janine Gonzalez: or anyone
(11:01:52 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: or what i feel
(11:01:53 PM) Janine Gonzalez: thanks
(11:02:00 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: its a huge mixed bag
(11:02:02 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i like tony
(11:02:10 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i really do
(11:02:12 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i dont think he likes me
(11:02:18 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: all i know is i want you to be happy, i just dont know if ill always do things that help you to be
(11:02:24 PM) Janine Gonzalez: soorry youre not the person to talj yo about this
(11:02:32 PM) Janine Gonzalez: yeaj just dont want other people
(11:02:34 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: maybe ur sister?
(11:02:39 PM) Janine Gonzalez: luisa fucked me up big time
(11:02:46 PM) Janine Gonzalez: sorry but its true
(11:02:58 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i wish i wasnt so much baggage
(11:03:00 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: "yeaj just dont want other people"
(11:03:02 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: you arent?!
(11:03:07 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: ur legitimately
(11:03:11 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: correct to be worried
(11:03:12 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: imo
(11:03:20 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: he doesnt look like prince charming
(11:03:23 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: more like a pirate.
(11:03:32 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i donno. id probably say the same thing
(11:03:36 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: to the nicest guy in the world
(11:03:43 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: who youd marry for 80 years
(11:03:46 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: but dont beat urself up
(11:03:49 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: ur not baggage
(11:03:53 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: uve been becoming
(11:03:58 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: better each day
(11:04:00 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and ur fine
(11:04:01 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: other ppl
(11:04:03 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: are responsible
(11:04:08 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: for shit to you know.
(11:04:13 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: thats a big problem
(11:04:17 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: not everything is in ur control
(11:04:20 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: or is because of you.
(11:04:30 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: just like i shouldnt think im being weird
(11:04:36 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: if a person ask weird with me
(11:04:41 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: cause they might be the ones feeling off
(11:04:47 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i remember one day
(11:04:55 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: while driving on goldboro
(11:05:02 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: that you told me about ur sisters bf?
(11:05:08 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: who externalized everything?
(11:05:13 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and blamed all external events?
(11:05:26 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: its important to know whats within ur control, and whats not your fault
(11:05:38 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: which is something you still need to look out for, because you blame urself for tony
(11:05:44 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and who knows he could be the type of guys
(11:05:48 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: that cant ever love a woman
(11:05:55 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: he might even be a self-hating homosexual
(11:05:59 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: you can't know.
(11:06:17 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: dont blame urself for things not going the way you expect
(11:06:38 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: just experience things and think about what you like and dislike
(11:06:49 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: theres way too much
(11:06:59 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: to try to tweak every little thing
(11:07:26 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: im sorry i know when u hate when i ramble about this shit
(11:07:30 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: wheres my place
(11:07:41 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i know even less, and cant practive what i preach
(11:07:55 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: but i just dont want you to think that some sort of baggage
(11:08:00 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: is repsonsible for your unhapiness
(11:08:04 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: u are great.
(11:08:10 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: youll find someone
(11:08:17 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: who youll feel comfortable with
(11:08:23 PM) Janine Gonzalez: stop
(11:08:25 PM) Janine Gonzalez: wait
(11:08:30 PM) Janine Gonzalez: stop talking until i say so
(11:08:35 PM) Janine Gonzalez: ur makin it scroll down
(11:09:16 PM) Janine Gonzalez: you know
(11:09:18 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i thought he liked me
(11:09:21 PM) Janine Gonzalez: really.
(11:09:29 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: well janine, who knows
(11:09:30 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i surprise myself with how stupid i am
(11:09:31 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: he might
(11:09:43 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i hope he does
(11:09:50 PM) Janine Gonzalez: only so i can get over u
(11:09:54 PM) Janine Gonzalez: bc apparently i need to
(11:10:02 PM) Janine Gonzalez: oh well.
(11:10:06 PM) Janine Gonzalez: this is my life
(11:10:08 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i get it
(11:10:47 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i wish i had someone to love too. but dont go for tony if hes not right
(11:10:56 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: thats exactly how ive been feeling
(11:10:59 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: like you got over me
(11:11:02 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i dont know who i try to fool
(11:11:05 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and i wasnt ever gonna find someone to love
(11:11:06 PM) Janine Gonzalez: obviously myself
(11:11:21 PM) Janine Gonzalez: yeah
(11:11:26 PM) Janine Gonzalez: lets not talk about this
(11:11:28 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: yeah.
(11:11:30 PM) Janine Gonzalez: itsnnot healthy
(11:11:33 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: no.
(11:11:35 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: it isnt.
(11:11:50 PM) Janine Gonzalez: its not fair to tony
(11:11:54 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: no.
(11:12:03 PM) Janine Gonzalez: although j have the suspicion i dont need to be fair
(11:12:08 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: and u might be right
(11:12:10 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: either way
(11:12:14 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: it doesnt help
(11:12:22 PM) Janine Gonzalez: yeah
(11:12:23 PM) Janine Gonzalez: ok
(11:12:24 PM) Janine Gonzalez: bye
(11:12:42 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: good night
(11:12:51 PM) Janine Gonzalez: good night
(11:13:05 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i love you
(11:13:06 PM) Janine Gonzalez: a lot
(11:13:09 PM) Janine Gonzalez: and foreber
(11:13:16 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i want to make it wor
(11:13:17 PM) Janine Gonzalez: k
(11:13:17 PM) Janine Gonzalez: dont go
(11:13:22 PM) Janine Gonzalez: please dont go
(11:13:23 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: Shh, please.
(11:13:29 PM) Janine Gonzalez: weve built so muh
(11:13:30 PM) Janine Gonzalez: ch
(11:13:30 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: it only feels like that a little
(11:13:39 PM) Janine Gonzalez: and its enough for mw
(11:13:42 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i promise
(11:13:43 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: it only takes a second for me to piss you off and then ull remember
(11:13:52 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: treat me like shit youll see the other side
(11:13:57 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i donno
(11:14:03 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: please u got it right earlier
(11:14:10 PM) Janine Gonzalez: no
(11:14:13 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i didnt
(11:14:14 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: just be happy please
(11:14:19 PM) Janine Gonzalez: ive just been used is all
(11:14:22 PM) Janine Gonzalez: idont mean that
(11:14:26 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i trust tony
(11:14:34 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i do trust him
(11:14:44 PM) Janine Gonzalez: ill jusy keep saying that
(11:15:49 PM) Janine Gonzalez: and keep it up
(11:15:56 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i lilke him truly
(11:16:01 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i hope he likes me
(11:16:09 PM) Janine Gonzalez: :)
(11:16:12 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i think he does
(11:16:20 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: thats good
(11:16:23 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: please be careful
(11:16:32 PM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: but also allow urself to trust
(11:16:54 PM) Janine Gonzalez: yeah
(11:16:55 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i will
(11:16:55 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i like him
(11:17:16 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i want him to be serious about me
(11:22:09 PM) Janine Gonzalez: its not right
(11:22:29 PM) Janine Gonzalez: im smart
(11:22:42 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i have answes
(11:22:42 PM) Janine Gonzalez: rs
(11:22:53 PM) Janine Gonzalez: and this isnt whats supposed to happen
(11:54:42 PM) Janine Gonzalez: i apologize
(11:54:45 PM) Janine Gonzalez: for everything
(12:10:53 AM) Janine Gonzalez: sorry
(12:10:56 AM) Janine Gonzalez: im really sorry
(12:11:03 AM) Janine Gonzalez: im afraid to be honest
(12:19:02 AM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: what are you talkin about
(12:19:13 AM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: how do you feel right now?
(12:19:26 AM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i dont think we should really talk
(12:19:35 AM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: cause its pretty complex
(12:19:44 AM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: we both know we love another
(12:19:53 AM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: but its normal
(12:19:58 AM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: i dont know
(12:20:14 AM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: just read what i wrote before, it was better my brain is tired and i dont know what to say
(12:20:27 AM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: but i feel like i said it somewhat better before
(12:20:34 AM) geeyouknitsoldier@gmail.com/E180A0B2: good night
(12:53:02 AM) Janine Gonzalez: good night
(12:53:30 AM) Janine Gonzalez: i hope we can work things out
(2:21:29 AM) Janine Gonzalez: gonna throw up forever
(2:36:59 AM) Janine Gonzalez: karma is going to kill me
(2:37:03 AM) Janine Gonzalez: i dont need this
(2:37:04 AM) Janine Gonzalez: i dont
(2:37:05 AM) Janine Gonzalez: ok
(2:37:10 AM) Janine Gonzalez: i dknt i dont i dont omg
(2:37:14 AM) Janine Gonzalez: i dont
(2:37:18 AM) Janine Gonzalez: i dont know etf
(2:37:20 AM) Janine Gonzalez: wtf
(2:39:18 AM) Janine Gonzalez: i cant even be treated well
(2:47:16 AM) Janine Gonzalez: in 2 weeks
(2:47:21 AM) Janine Gonzalez: its horrible
(2:47:30 AM) Janine Gonzalez: you make your bed and then lie in it
(2:47:36 AM) Janine Gonzalez: i just ahh
(2:47:44 AM) Janine Gonzalez: i cant do this anymorw
(3:12:40 AM) Janine Gonzalez: who AM i??!
(3:15:28 AM) Janine Gonzalez: youvw caused more pain via introspection than youll ever know
(3:15:42 AM) Janine Gonzalez: i cried the whole way to vanessas
(3:15:47 AM) Janine Gonzalez: then tony ruined my
(3:15:50 AM) Janine Gonzalez: nigjt
(3:15:57 AM) Janine Gonzalez: lovely
(3:15:59 AM) Janine Gonzalez: i just
(3:16:02 AM) Janine Gonzalez: WOW
(3:16:06 AM) Janine Gonzalez: you kniw?
(3:16:15 AM) Janine Gonzalez: sigh
(3:16:23 AM) Janine Gonzalez: (forever)
(3:16:27 AM) Janine Gonzalez: i smoke again
(3:16:37 AM) Janine Gonzalez: i smoked like 3 cigaettes
(3:16:39 AM) Janine Gonzalez: and liked it
(3:16:47 AM) Janine Gonzalez: dont do this to me anymorw
(3:16:50 AM) Janine Gonzalez: i cant take it
(3:57:53 AM) Janine Gonzalez: im so hurt rigjt now
(3:58:08 AM) Janine Gonzalez: which is just what you wanted right?
(3:58:20 AM) Janine Gonzalez: you win
(3:58:28 AM) Janine Gonzalez: im a big idiot :)
(10:39:51 AM) Janine Gonzalez: wait for me at home at 8
(11:01:52 AM) Janine Gonzalez: ok i need to talk to you before you take your stuff
(11:01:57 AM) Janine Gonzalez: ok?
(11:02:04 AM) Janine Gonzalez: just call me when you can