Artemis- Posing as German Criminal

And suddenly Artemis was in the tent, striding across the floor as if he owned the space. 'What is going on here?' he demanded, his accent decidedly German. All faces turned to him. He was magnetic.

'Who are you?' asked Derph.

Artemis snorted. 'Who am I the little man asks. Did you not invite my master here from Berlin? My name is not important. All you need to know is that I represent Herr Ehrich Stern.'

'H—H—err Stern, of course,' stammered Derph. Ehrich Stern was a legend in the field of precious stones and how to dispose of them illegally. He also disposed of people who disappointed him. He had been invited to the tiara's auction and was sitting in row three, as Artemis well knew.

'We come here to do business, and instead of professionalism we find some kind of dwarf feud.'

'There is no feud,' said Mulch, still playing the part of Sergei. 'Just a little misunderstanding. We are deciding how to dispose of an unwelcome guest.'

Again, Artemis snorted. 'There is only one way to dispose of unwanted guests. As a special favour, we will perform that service for you, for a discount on the tiara of course.' He paused in disbelief, his eyes widening. 'Tell me this is not she,' he said, picking the tiara off the ground where Holly had dropped it. 'She lies in the dirt like some cluster of common stones. This truly is a circus.'
...

The dwarfs advanced in a semi-circle, knives raised.

Artemis stepped in front of the group. 'Halt, little men,' he said imperiously. 'There is only one way to save this operation, and that is certainly not by staining the earth with blood. Leave these two to my bodyguard, and then we shall commence negotiations.

Derph smelled a rat. 'Wait a minute. How do we know you're with Stern? You waltz in here just in time to save these two. It's all a bit convenient if you ask me.'

'That's why nobody asks you,' retorted Artemis. 'Because you're a dullard.' Derph's dagger glittered dangerously. 'I've had it with you, kid. I say we get rid of all witnesses and move on.'

'Fine,' said Artemis. 'This charade is beginning to bore me.' He raised his palm to his mouth. 'Time for plan B.'

-The Seventh Dwarf, Chapter 5