Really Long Copypasta

But you don’t stop talking do ya like uh fuck it ill just cook the side for a while. Doughnuts. You know what’s funny? i’m cooking my brain talking about nothing. I’m just walking around like “Yeah I just got a cheeseburger!”. Ah fuck all you people you know what you fucking losers I hope you all fuckin die and I hope the fuckin Eagles never win the super bowl go fuck yourself, fuck all of you motherfuckers and fuck the fires. Fuck all of ya, fuck the god damn fuckin losers booing Dom Irerra, suck a dick, all of ya. Suck a fuckin dick. How’s that! No, i’m segwaying into my next joke. You can all lick my fucking red nuts, all of ya. You can line up in ya Harold Carmichael fuckin jerseys and one at a time you can all suck my dick. City of brotherly love ya bunch a fucking cocks. Fuckin god damn losers 52 fucking hours into a show, what the fuck am I gonna do at this point? You people are a god damn acid. Fuckin being up here talking about Hitler that ain’t gonna work. What do you want me to talk about? Throw out some topics, let’s talk about Heart disease something you’re all gonna fucking die of and i’m gonna laugh at your fuckin funerals. It’s gonna be great. Your all gonna get fuckin cancer which is fantastic cus all your fucking heads are shaved anyways. No one’s even gonna notice. You’re gonna get fired for coming to work late. They’re not gonna notice that you have fuckin bone marrow cancer. The only things gonna give it away is me laughing at you in the fuckin background you fuckin bunch of fuckin losers with ya fuckin cell phone pictures, fuckin suck a dick. Fuckin assholes. 11 more minutes of this. I hope you all get in ya Ford Focus’s and fuckin drive off the side of that faggot ass Ben Franklin bridge, you fuckin one-bridge-having piece of shit city that no one gives a fuck about. The terrorists will never bomb you people cus you’re fuckin worthless and no one cares about you. You are this high above New Orleans, no one gives a shit. (Fema) will never show up to you fuckin assholes. I hope your mother has herpes in the centre of her asshole, and you go home tonight you lick it, you get it on your tongue and some other horrific shit happens that involves cancer, to all of you! 11 minutes left. 11 minutes. I hope somebody takes a fuckin beer stein and just slaps you on the back of your zit infested fuckin shoulders and your awful man-tit tank tops. I hope that happens to ya. I hope the glass fuckin dips into ya fuckin shoulder blade. And then I see ya afterwards “Hey how’s it goin! Enjoy the fuckin show? That’s great.” And then grab you by the fuckin hair but you don’t have any. Did it really have to come to this people? Did it really have to come to it? I really hope all of you run into all those black people that you love so much here in Camden, I really hope that happens. I hope there’s a line of all you guys getting fuckin car jacked and they take out their big black dicks and they just shove it right in ya fuckin mouths each and every one of you. And somehow they just keep repeatingly cumming right in your fuckin eyeballs. Until it builds up so much that your eyes they fuckin crust over. You can’t see shit. And somehow there’s another dick in there for you to suck. 10 minutes left. Look at you. This is what you want? “IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT. IF YOU FUCKING”. Bunch of fuckin losers. Fuckin Rocky is ya hero. The whole pride of your city is built around a fuckin guy who doesn’t even exist. You got fuckin Joe Frazier is from there but he’s black so you can’t fuckin deal with them, so you make a fucking statue for some 3 foot fuckin Italian you stupid Phili cheese-eatin fuckin jackasses. I hope that cheese melts your fuckin faces off. All of you collectively suck a fucking dick. A fuckin booby. 9 hours into a fuckin show. Look at you with ya fuckin Donovan McNabb shirt I hope he snaps both his fuckin ankles in the first god damn day. I hope you ((go old at fuckin 16)?) I SAID SUCK A DICK! Eight minutes left. Eight fuckin minutes left. The Flyers do they even fuckin exist anymore? Bunch of god damn pansies. Haven’t won shit since fuckin Gerald Ford was in office. Why don’t you just have the fuckin Ice Capades down there you assholes you probably wouldn’t even notice the difference. That fuckin pussy teams, remember they had that whole season where they won the slacks? You bunch of faggots. What else, what else, they tax your mothers. Its eight minutes i’m doing it all. I’m fuckin standing here. Look I broke the mic-stand. I got a little fuckin cane now. I’m gonna be the little observational comedian up here. What’s that sir? What do you have to say sir? Never passed the fuckin eighth grade, what brilliant shit are you gonna fuckin tell me huh? Go back to the dock and go unload some shit you fuckin warehouse working weed smoking fuckin disappointment for your mother. 7 MINUTES LEFT. 7 motherfuckin minutes left! And i’m doing ALL fuckin 7. You fuckin assholes. Fuckin standing backstage for 3 hours to get booed by this GED fuckin stupid ass piece of shit fuckin crowd. Bunch of fuckin losers, I hope your fucking radios fall on your head tomorrow. The fuckin antenna goes through ya fuckin ears. Fall onto one of those piece of shit buildings. Fuck all of you and fuck the liberty bell and shove it up Ben Franklin’s ass. What do you think about that? All of you motherfuckers I hope that bridge collapses onto your pathetic lives, go fuck yourselves. 6 minutes left and I WILL be selling my CD after this shit you motherfuckers. And the only way you get one is if I throw it at ya fuckin stupid heads, you bunch of racist fuckin morons. Look at this, what are you taking a picture of ((Eron)?), huh? This is the most, I’m saying all this shit I’ve wanted to say for 14 minutes. This right here is the theme of my set. A broken mic-stand. 3 motherfuckin minutes left. 3 fuckin minutes left. What’s left? The Phillis, the faggot ass team named after a female horse, you bunch of pussies. You won one fuckin world series since 1880’s, suck a dick. Bring Todd Mcgraw back from the dead you fuckin jackasses maybe you’ll win another one. It ain’t ever happenin. It ain’t ever fuckin happenin. With your red candy stripe faggot fuckin uniforms. Your team should be selling cotton candy in the fuckin instructional leagues. You have a soccer team. That’s all I got left. I aint got a fuckin ping pong team, some other shit ass fuckin team that’s never gonna win a championship. Guys haven’t won a Super bowl since they had face masks. You fuckin jackass. Roman Gabriel running around a fuckin ((lended)?) helmet. Ah suck a dick. What is he your dad or something you don’t know who the fuck he is. Ironed my fuckin shirt for this shit. Went to the Banana Republic picked a $20 shirt off the rack. Totally fucking ridiculous getting booed by people sitting in the fucking grass. God damn lawn seats. It’s fun isn’t it? It’s great, I’m actually getting, I’m actually getting fuckin payed right now people. I’m getting payed to shit all over you guys and ya stupid fucking rock t-shirts of bands no one gives a fuck about. 4 minutes left. You with ya Rush fuckin t-shirts. I beat the shit out of my girlfriend. It felt great. It really felt great. I wanna thank you guys for having me. You guys were phenomenal, each and ev-OH NO IVE GOT 4 MINUTES LEFT. I got 4 fuckin minutes left to fuckin talk about you cunts. That’s not bad, that’s not bad, 12 minute rant and that’s the first time I said cunt. That’s a fuckin record. I’m gonna finish my set by taking this mic stand base like a fucking disc. I hope I hit a baby in the fuckin head. The one fuckin kid who would actually go to ((Champlain)?) college in this fuckin crowd. What’s that sir? Dave Chappelle, yes he’s not here, I wish I was on his fuckin tour right now, maybe I wouldn’t have a bunch of cunts not fuckin paying attention 4 hours into a god damn show-3 FUCKIN MINUTES LEFT. 3 minutes left in this motherfuckin tirade. What’s that? Sir why are you screaming you’re in the front row you dumb fuck. “UGHUGHUGHUGHG”, God I hope this whole crowd, I hope just hope mass AIDS full blown like fuckin you get weak as you walk to your fuckin cars. You just pass out and then just find you next to your ’83 fuckin Monte Carlo gravel embedded in the side of ya fuckin bold ass fuckin heads. Yes? What about what? What about not fuckin interrupting me you jackass play a fuckin record son of a bitch. I’m fuckin tryin to deal with this bullshit. Jesus Christ the god damn people on this show are giving me shit. So anyways, back to the jokes. I got a computer recently people! Fuckin motherfuckers. I’m putting it, 2 minutes left! The last 2 minutes is gonna be my rider for the rest of this fuckin tour. I go on first, I do 3 minutes, that’s it, I come on here with a fuckin gun, right? That’s what I do. Come on here with a fuckin gun. Hollow tip bullets and I just start fuckin shooting people, okay? Everybody’s chained to their fuckin chairs. I just blow all ya fuckin brains out, like, just, just one after another, just fucking one, two to the back of the head. Never ending. Coming out like a fuckin Mexican with those two fuckin crosses of bullets, I just blow all ya fuckin brains out. I would really enjoy blowing everybody’s brains out. Just fuckin, just, just, the next thing somebody mopping up the 3 pounds of fuckin brains that are actually in this god damn crowd. OOOO-NE MINUTE LEFT IN THE PERIOD! Aight, listen. This doesn’t change anything this set I still fuckin hate you people. I hate this fuckin city. Hate the way you eat, your little shitty ass fuckin subway. And uh why don’t you fuckin build something for Joe Frazier and get that fuckin idiot. You guys all gonna go see Rocky 19 “OH DUDE I THINK HE CAN WIN”. Aight listen I’m out of time, you guys, you guys right here man thank you very much, all of you go fuck yourselves in your own assholes. Have a good night.