Advertisement
Ginger_Fig

Awesome Cat

May 4th, 2012
1,687
0
Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 2.77 KB | None | 0 0
  1. 1/2
  2. >Own awesome cat.
  3. >Loves to fight anything.
  4. >Rats, dogs, other cats.
  5. >Conan the Barbarian cat.
  6. >Always gentle with people.
  7. >Had him for 14 years.
  8. >A lifetime of fighting has left him old before his time.
  9. >Body covered with scars.
  10. >Joints destroyed by arthritis.
  11. >Numerous infections over the years.
  12. >Latest vet visit was a sad one.
  13. >War cat has cancer.
  14. >Make the appointment to have him put down.
  15. >Vet will come to the house on Tuesday.
  16. >Yeah, they do that if you ask.
  17. >Think about that when your cat gets old.
  18. >Cats don't like to ride in cars.
  19. >Don't make them do it on their last day.
  20. >Want to give old cat one last gift.
  21. >He's far too sick and old to do what he loves most.
  22. >Fighting and killing other animals.
  23. >Maybe there's one animal he could still kill.
  24. Fluffy pony!
  25. >Get a random pone from the shelter.
  26. >Get its fluff trimmed down before you leave.
  27. >Costs you a few bucks.
  28. >Awesome cat is worth it.
  29. >Take fluffy pony home.
  30. >Babbling stupidly; "Wuv new daddy! Haf nummies pwease?"
  31. >Give him a scratch behind the ears.
  32. >It's the only kindness you'll get, fluffy.
  33. >Make sure fluffy pony's bowels are empty before going inside.
  34. >Let fluffy pony free in house.
  35. >Dumb creature runs around, happily babbling about everything.
  36. >"New house pwetty! Pway now? Yay!"
  37. >Yeah...I'll go get your playmate.
  38.  
  39. 2/2
  40. >Old cat is sleeping on your bed.
  41. >Give him a scratch, wake him up.
  42. >Cat immediately hears ruckus in house.
  43. >There's another animal in his territory!
  44. >Gets up, stretches, hops down.
  45. >You watch him stalk the enemy.
  46. >Tail is twitching like a kitten hunting a yarn ball.
  47. >He feels like a young cat again.
  48. >Fluffy pony has no idea what danger it's in.
  49. >The attack comes.
  50. >"Yaaaagghhh! Munsta!"
  51. >Fluffy pony tries to flee but it's useless.
  52. >Claws and teeth rip into soft flesh.
  53. >"Daddeeee! Hewp! Munster hewe! Munsta huwt fwuffy!"
  54. >Fluffy pony is knocked off feet.
  55. >Savage claw slash across belly causes fluffy to scream.
  56. >Cat doesn't kill fluffy immediately.
  57. >He's toying with it.
  58. >Terrified fluffy tries to run away.
  59. >He's attacked again.
  60. >Cat pins fluffy and bites back of neck.
  61. >Fluffy pony screams.
  62. >"AAiiieeee! Munsta owwies! Hewp fwuffy pwease!"
  63. >Jaws close on the soft throat meat.
  64. >Fluffy cries in agony as he's shaken by cat.
  65. >Death comes by suffocation.
  66. >Old war cat rips into his prize.
  67. >Brings you some tasty guts.
  68. >You pick him up, let him sit in your lap.
  69. >Old cat purrs. He never does that.
  70. >Just then, the vet arrives.
  71. >Sees mangled fluffy corpse.
  72. >"Whoa, what happened here?"
  73. "I gave him a last treat."
  74. >"Good" says Vet, "one less of those vermin."
  75. >We're ready.
  76. >Cat gets the injection.
  77. >Vet leaves us alone.
  78. >Old cat peacefully drifts off to sleep with his head in your hand.
  79. >Give him a hero's grave in his favorite part of the lawn.
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement