Oct 8th, 2018
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  1. >>Who do you have feelings for?
  3. "That's none of your fucking business, penka,"
  4. >"None of my business?! OF COURSE it is! My business is all about making my friends smile, and you're my friend!"
  5. "Well maybe, but that doesn't change anything, I don't want your help with that,"
  6. >"Why not?!"
  7. "Because I'm telling you so!"
  8. >"Did you tell her?"
  9. "What?! No ponko, I did not tell her,"
  10. >"Why not?"
  11. "Because I don't want to!"
  12. >"Why not?"
  13. "Because!"
  14. >"You should tell her!"
  15. "No I should not!"
  16. >"Why not?"
  17. "Because she's... I don't think we'd 'click', you know?"
  18. >"How would I know? How would you know? You won't know unless you try, silly!"
  19. "Yeah well, sometimes it's easier and better for everyone involved not to try,"
  20. >GASP
  21. >"How could you say that!"
  22. >you roll your eyes at the pink menace
  23. >"Love is great and wonderful and it feels warm and funny and it tickles you all over your stomach and then it can make you super sad but then you see them smile and then you're super happy and then you're--"
  24. "Why don't you have a special somepony then?"
  25. >"I do!"
  26. "Oh? Who is it?"
  27. >"That's... I can't tell you! It's a secret!"
  28. "Why don't you go bug them instead of me? I'm really busy brooding and contemplating my failures in life right now,"
  29. >"I can't do that!"
  30. "Why not?"
  31. >"Because I can't tell them,"
  32. "Why not?"
  33. >"Because I'm slightly OOC and the writefag had other plans, silly!"
  34. "What?"
  35. >"Heheheh,"
  36. >"So, who is it?!"
  37. "Ugh,"
  38. >"Tell me pleeeeeeease!"
  39. "Let's make a deal, you tell me yours and I tell you mine, alright?"
  40. >"But I can't tell you mine!"
  41. >bingo
  42. "Well then I guess I can't tell you mine either, can I--"
  43. >"Of course you can! You're the protagonist and this post is reaching the 2000 characters limit!"
  44. "What the fuck are you talk--"
  45. >"Tell me!"
  46. "No!"
  47. >"Tell me! Tell me! Tell meeeee!"
  48. "NO!"
  49. >"Then tell her!"
  50. "Panko, no!"
  51. >"Why not?"
  52. >the thud of a face impacting the table could be heard from outside
  54. "Because! We... I'm not--!"
  55. >"Yes?? You're not???"
  56. "We're not meant to be together!"
  57. >"Why not?!"
  58. "Because we're so... different?"
  59. >"So? That's part of the fun!"
  60. "But we're not even the same species!"
  61. >GASP
  62. >"Is she a dragon?!"
  63. "No, she's not a dragon,"
  64. >"A minotaur?"
  65. "No,"
  66. >"A griffin?"
  67. "No,"
  68. >"A cybertronian?"
  69. "What the fuck is that?"
  70. >"idk lol"
  71. "No, she's not that either,"
  72. >"A kirin?"
  73. "No!"
  74. >"A giraffe?"
  75. "NO!"
  76. >"A xenomor--"
  77. "NO! She's a mare, alright?!"
  78. >GASP
  79. >"Do I know her?"
  80. "You know everyone and their dogs, pinks,"
  81. >"That's not true!"
  82. >"So, why wouldn't it work between you if she's a mare? You have plenty of mare friends! Why would it be a problem to have a marefriend?"
  83. "Maybe because from where I'm from we're not used to court small talking pastel horses?
  84. >"So? Who cares, you're not there anymore, you're here!"
  85. "But that doesn't change--"
  86. >"And I see you staring at mare butts all the time!"
  87. "Hey! You're the ones flaunting your asses everywhere! That's not my fault you guys have no sense of decency!"
  88. >"Hehe! It's okay I don't mind, you can look at mine as much as you like!"
  89. "Ughh, thanks ponko,"
  90. >"So, why won't you tell her you like her and her butt then?"
  91. "Pinkie! Relationships aren't nearly as fucking simple as that!"
  92. >"Of course not, but you'd still be happier if you told her, even if she doesn't end up liking you!"
  93. "What?! How?! All it would achieve is make things awkward and ruin our friendship and stuff,"
  94. >"It's only awkward if you make it so!"
  95. "Yeah right,"
  96. >"It wouldn't ruin our friendship,"
  97. "W-what--"
  99. >"You should tell her! I'm sure she'll be super mega happy to hear it! And I'm sure she likes you too!"
  100. "As a friend, maybe, but--"
  101. >"How do you know?!"
  102. "Because!"
  103. >"Because??"
  104. "Because she's..."
  105. >"Yes, yes? She's??"
  106. "She deserves better,"
  107. >BIG GASP
  108. >"OH NO YOU DIDN'T!"
  109. "Pinkie please, just leave me alone for a whil--"
  110. >"You totally deserve her!"
  111. "Pinkie--"
  112. >"You're great! And funny! And nice! And you're always helping me helping ponies!"
  113. "That's just the script saying that,"
  114. >"No it's not!"
  115. "Listen, you should--"
  116. >"NO! You listen, mister! You're going to tell that mare how you feel!"
  117. "But--"
  118. >"No butts! At least wait for the second date,"
  120. "But--"
  121. >"You're going to tell her, RIGHT NOW!"
  122. "I can't..."
  123. >"Come on, tell her!"
  124. "Pinkie..."
  125. >"She wants you to tell her, nonny!"
  126. "Does she?"
  127. >nod nod
  128. >"Yes! She wants to hear it super bad!"
  129. "A-and you're sure it's not going to ruin our friendship or make things awkward or anything?"
  130. >"Yes! Everything's going to work out great! Pinkie promise!"
  131. >you sigh
  132. >you can't hope to fight that
  133. >for a fraction of a second, you contemplate fleeing away, to just turn around and run
  134. >it'd be so much easier but, maybe she's...
  135. "Alright, I'll tell her,"
  136. >Squee
  137. "I'll tell you,"
  138. >nod nod
  139. "I kinda like... you, Pinkie,"
  140. >"GOSH! Finally!"
  141. >in the blink of an eye, the pink thunder leaps onto you with enough force to make you fall off your chair and has you hugged and pinned
  142. "Uhm..."
  143. >"Why'd it take you so long to say it?!"
  144. "It's... you knew?"
  145. >"Of course I knew, silly! Maybe you like mare butts but I know you like mine the best, and by a looooong shot!"
  146. "It's not just your butt, I swear--"
  147. >"I like you too, by the way!"
  148. "You dooommph~?!"
  149. >she tastes just as sweet as you always dreamt she would
  150. >"You're super fun! And super tall! And you always know what to say when I'm sad!"
  151. >another kiss stops you from responding
  152. >this one lasting ever so slightly more
  153. >not long enough, though
  154. >"You totally deserve me, nonny,"
  155. >how does she do it
  156. "Heh, sorry Pinkie, I just thought, I mean, I was--"
  157. >"It's okay, you finally told me and that's what's important!"
  158. "So, huh... Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
  159. >"I wanted to! But I couldn't!"
  160. "Why?"
  161. >"It's all that evil writefag's fault! And he couldn't even make it fit in three posts! He's such a cocktease I swear,"
  162. "Huh...?"
  163. >"And I bet he's going to stop the story right before we get to the good part too!"
  164. "Just what in the hell are you talk--"
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