makes you healthy No Strings.

“Springwater! I’ve got Water from the Astrakhan Spring! Cures all ills and restores youth! Got it from a reality where the O5 council is corrupt as fuck!”

“That sounds like something we could move,” Victor said, approaching the stall and examining the glass bottles. “Tell me, what effect would this have an individual who, due to multiple mishaps with experimental life extension, now ages about fifty times faster than normal and has to continuously siphon the elan vital energy from young donors to keep himself alive?”

The woman who was renting the stall stared at him blankly for a moment.

“What?”

“I’m asking for one of my bosses,” Victor replied.

“I don’t know about any of that, I only know how it works on vanilla humans,” she replied. “I sell it in 10 ml vials and 500 ml bottles. The vials will kill all pathogens, parasites, and cancer cells, plus supercharge your regenerative abilities to heal any damage, up to and including severed limbs. The vials will have a mild rejuvenating effect, but each bottle will take twenty to thirty years off. That cleans out plaque, senescent cells, and any other garbage that makes you grow old. It corrects mutations in both nuclear and mitochondrial DNA, plus restores telomeres to a youthful length. Each vial is five thousand inklings, and a bottle’s a quarter mill.”

“Still cheaper than American healthcare, right?” Victor smirked. “I’ll take a vial for now. We’ll have our lab run some tests on it, and if it does what you say it does we’ll be back for more. Do you have a business card?”