ProgrammingChicken

radon

Aug 14th, 2018
141
Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
  1. ---------------friend's version (original)------------------
  2. Chapter I
  3. That's when the car blew up. It had been going good until the car blew up. The car was their way out. It wasn't a car really. It was more of a jacked up jeep. It could hold all 4 of them. They were raiding a passing train bringing supplies to the Radon Empire. It had gone flawlessly. The engine had run over the mine. The first armored troop car had gone with it. The two supply cars were undamaged. The armored troop car in the back was shot at immediately, but one of the guns on the side shot the lambo engine in the jeep. Then the raiders retreated into the thick foliage behind them. One of them crept around and popped a grenade into the armored train car. The car blew up. They did an almost perfect job. They took all the cargo, but remembered they had no ride. The chopper couldn't land where they were because of the forest. They couldn't take the supplies into the trees to get on the chopper, which was probably somewhere really close. Then it nuked us and we all died.
  4. ----------------my version----------------------
  5. The car exploded, sending chunks of metal flying. The mission had been going well until that car blew up. Since the armored jeep of a car was their only way out, they had to think up a new plan…
  6. “Oy! Make sure that mine is primed!,” the boss yelled.
  7. “What?!,” I hurriedly replied.
  8. “Just do it, son. Glory to the Praktom Empire!,” the boss said.
  9. “Yep,” I mumbled as I stepped through the brush.
  10. The leaves slapped at my face as I made my way to the site. Barring the fact that I was about to check a possibly primed mine of all things, I was having a pretty good day. There were no other people aside from the boss who were rude to me, and I was even spared from most of my daily duties. I guess everyone was too excited for the upcoming events.
  11. The mine was already primed. Although it usually needed the weight of a Radon Empiric train car to set it off, I knew better than to test my luck, stepping carefully away. The mine, although still clearly visible, would be set off whether those Radons saw it or not. As the overachieving soldier that I am, I thought to take the liberty of throwing a few leaves onto the mine. Creepily enough, it seemed that the mine was practically invisible with just that negligible addition.
  12. Once I got back to the temporary base, the whole unit was already waiting and watching the rails to see the sight of the Radon train car exploding. Those Radons were the entire reason for this war, and we were not about to let them push us into a corner. This one counterattack could very well mark the beginning of the resistance.
  13. After 20 minutes or so, the train approached. With a deafening thud, the mine went off. The front engine car, two cargo cars, and half of a armored offensive car were instantly turned into dust, which collapsed into a large pile, slowing the train to a slow grind. But the back engine was hastily started up and pushed the rest of the cars forward.
  14. The positioned snipers aimed their shots and fired. The single window on the side of the first offensive car was shattered. But it didn’t end there. The cars returned fire as miniature turrets blindly shot in our direction. A few shouts and an explosion- was that our getaway jeep?!
  15. “Ah, that might be a problem…,” I muttered as I watched our only chance at retreating burn.
  16. I looked back, and watched as our men shot their rocket launchers at the turret-laden car. We planned on preserving ammo, but that order was very quickly rescinded.
  17. A few seconds later, there was only a flaming wreckage of the. Just a few cargo cars and their surviving personnel, who were easy targets. We lost a few snipers, which brought our count from 7 people to 5 people, not including our commander. He called into base, and requested a helicopter. We only had to wait, so we set a few soldiers out to dismantle a section of track, which took quite a long time to do with the pitiful amount of manpower we had currently.
  18. The helicopter came into hearing range, then we saw it. Our saviors from headquarters have delivered. But only after watching the helicopter for a few seconds did I realize something. The insignia emboldened on the front of the heli was of the Radon Empire. They shot one missile. It didn’t even hit the ground before it exploded without a sound. The whole hill we were encamped on was reached, killing us all with a single hit.
  19.  
  20. We lost.
RAW Paste Data