Deadmeat Chronicles: A Meeting of Smarties

>You are a maroon unicorn fluffy with a light green mane.
>And you are surrounded.
>Three fluffies have just walked up to you.
>You jump up and notice two more fluffies behind you.
>You puff your cheeks, “Dis Deadmeat wand! Yoo go way!”
>The earth fluffies give you a raspberry as the unicorn lowers his head, “Nuu! Yoo go way!”
>You start to make sparklies as you glance at the fluffies behind you stepping forward.
>”yoo meanies bad fwuffy! Yoo take gud fwuffy beddies! Yoo nee big owchies!”
>”Deadmeat nuu take beddie! Dey nuu fwuffy hewe! Dis Deadmeat wand!”
>”Tee hee hee! Nuu dis smawty wand! Nuu gif owies.”
>You turn and see a fluffy crawling from deeper in the brush.
>He pokes his head over a pile of leaves and looks at you.
>”Yoo stwong fwuffy, nu scawed of big owchie fwuffies.”
>”Nuuu!”, “Hewp fwuffy!”, “Weave wone! Go way!”
>You hear a commotion coming from outside.
>You look around at the fluffies and quickly jump out.
>You see groups of fluffies pushing your fluffies out into the lot.
>Every fluffy is surrounded by three or four fluffies batting their ears.
>Haze is looking around nervously, “Whewe smawty! …. Nee smawty! YOO NU SMEWW PWETTY!”
>Six fluffies surround him puffing their cheeks.
>”Yoo stwong fwuffy, but smawty hewd stwongeh!”
>You turn and see the fluffy sticking his head out from your hidey hole.
>”Nuu! Weave babeh wone! Gud babeh weave wone!”
>You see two large earth fluffies nudging the mommy and her baby.
>You start to stomp, but then you sniff the air.
>You smell more fluffies.
>You look off to the side.
>You see more fluffies in the darkness huddled and hunkered down.
>”Yoo teww yoo fwuffy nuu be bad… ow smawty hewd gif big owchies!”
>The voice behind you bites into your back.
>Haze is running in place looking at you, “Smawty teww Hase gif owies! Hase gif BIIIIIIG OWIES!”
>He starts to puff his cheeks at the fluffies surrounding him.
>One fluffy points at him, “Fwuffy know yoo… yoo meanie bad fwuffie gif yoo hewd owies!”
>”Nuu! Hase am gud fwuffy!”
>He points back and screams, “HAZE AM GUD!”
>You look at all the fluffies surrounding yours.
>You know there are even more fluffies hiding in the shadows.
>You stomp in frustration as you have head owies.
>The other herd that raided yours was nowhere big as these fluffies and you lost two fluffies and a baby in that fight.
>You know you can give owies to these fluffies, but you also know they can give owies back.
>You look behind you you.
>The fluffy in the brush pile is smiling, his eyes almost glowing in the near dark.
>You look to your herd, “Fwuffies be gud fwuffy! Nuu gif owies!”
>The herd looks at you in shock.
>Pookie jumps up and puffs his cheeks, “Nuu! Fwuffy gif owies!”
>You stomp and make sparklies, “Deadmeat am smawty! Nuu gif owies!”
>Pookie lets the air out of his cheeks and lays down shaking from your stare.
>Haze is stomping at the fluffies around him, “Hase wan gif owies… BIG OWIES!”
>He giggles looking at the large fluffies staring him down, “Smawty saf fwuffy fwom Hase!”
>He sits and wags his tail smiling with his tongue hanging out.
>”Yoo am smawt smawty… come!”
>You turn around, the large unicorn fluffy is standing there glaring at you.
>”Wha yoo wan!”
>The unicorn simply says, “Smawty wan haf talkie wif yoo.”
>You try to hide your surprise, “Yoo nuu smawty?”
>You hear giggling from inside the bush.
>You trot back and go inside.
>You see a unicorn sitting in front of you.
>Your eyes try to adjust as you look at him.
>”Smawty do food waid so nuu hewe when fwuffy come.”
>”Did smawty wand!”
>”Deadmeat fin wand! Deameat wan wand!”
>”Yoo nuu haf wand!”
>The fluffy stands up and that is when you see his legs.
>You step back looking at the fluffy to your front.
>He stands tall and proud.
>In the dusk you can see whiffs of grey in his fluff.
>This fluffy is the oldest fluffy you have seen.
>You look at his legs.
>You see he only has three.
>His front right one is missing.
>You point to it, “Yoo haf big owie…”
>He sits and points at you, “Yoo haf wots big owies.”
>You huff indignantly.
>He gets up and walks to the nest and lays in it.
>”Smawty wook at fwuffies fwom away.”
>”Yoo have pway wif fwuffies, yoo gud to babeh.”
>He looks up at you, “Smawty nuu do dat a wot.”
>”Yoo know hewd stwongeh dan yoo hewd. Nuu many smawty know dat.”
>”Yoo gud smawty. Yoo smawt smawty.”
>He looks you over, “You big smawt for young fwuffy.”
>He looks at you then lowers his head yawning, “Dis smawty wand. Yoo weak hewd.”
>He closes his eyes, “Yoo sweepie dawk time, yoo go way when wakie.”
>Six large fluffies step in front of you.
>You hop out of the brush and walk to your herd.
>As you get closer Haze runs past the fluffies trying to guard him and comes to your side.
>Pookie does the same
>The enemy fluffies start to back away and surround your herd.
>There are three of them to every one of your fluffies.
>”Hase gif neck cwunshies smawty?”
>He is dancing around you looking at the other fluffies.
>”Nuu! We sweepie noa.”
>You hear from behind you, “Dat munsta fwuffy...”
>You whip around, “Deadmeat nuu munsta!”
>You see the quaking fluffy is following Haze as he dances around you.
>You walk into your herd and lay down, “Dey haf wots fwuffy… we sweepie..”
>You grit your teeth as you lay your head down.
>You feel another fluffy lay next to you, “Mommeh feew saf wif smawty…”
>Haze lays to your front and gives a raspberry to the other herd before laying down.
>Pookie gets to the back of your herd and the rest of the fluffies fall in between.
>You nod off and have an uneasy night’s sleep.
>You jerk awake and look around making sure the enemy fluffies aren’t getting closer.
>You finally nod off close to bright time.
>You are woke by giggling.
>You turn and see haze walking over the sleeping members of your herd sniffing them.
>He stand over a sleeping mare and smells deeply with his eyes closed.
>He raises his head up and a big smile on his face, “Hee hee hee… smeww pwetty…”
>He opens his eyes and sees you.
>”Smawty wakies!”
>He bounds over to you and looks out at the enemy fluffies.
>He starts to fidget, “We gif owies noa? Hase gif gud owies!”
>You sit up annoyed, “Nuu! Gif nuu owies! We weafe soon.”
>Haze freezes and looks at you in surprise.
>”Bu’ Hase gif gud owies! We gif wots of owies! Hase gif owies fo smawty!”
>He looks out from the herd, “Hase stwong! Show smawty Hase stwong! GIF OW- owies!”
>You boop his nose.
>He turns and looks at you hurt.
>”Why gif Hase sowwies? why…” he closes his eyes and starts to stomp.
>”Hase gud fwuffy! Yoo meanie smawty! Yoo nuu- owies!”
>You boop his nose again.
>”Deadmeat am smawty!”
>He lays down and looks up at you with tears in his eyes.
>You point at him, “Yoo gif biggest owchies!”
>You stomp and look around, “Deadmeat gif biggest owchies! Deadmeat Hase do gud gif biggest owchies!”
>You look down making sure Haze is still looking at you.
>You point to the mommy fluffy with her baby and Next Special Friend.
>”Dey nuu gif biggest owchies!”
>You point to the rest of the sleeping fluffies, “Dey nuu gif biggest owchies!”
>”Det get biggest owchies! Hewd nee fwuffies! Nee fwuffies fo nummies, fo gif bad fwuffies owies!”
>”Hewd twy to gif owies den hewd wose fwuffies to biggest owchies!”
>Haze lays there quietly.
>You sit back and look around, “Dey hewd biggeh and haf stwong fwuffies.”
>”Deadmeat wan gif owies bu’ nuu can win and nuu wose mo fwuffies…”
>Haze looks at you for a bit.
>He stands and gets behind you, “Hase sowwy… smawty … betteh smawty dan Hase…”
>The herds wake up.
>Pookie comes stand beside you as well.
>He protest but relents when you say you won’t fight.
>Finally a large fluffy walks in front of you, “Smawty wan haf tawkies wif smaty.”
>You follow the fluffy back to the three legged smarty.
>Pookie and Haze follow behind you.
>As you approach you hear a fluffy make the commenet, “Dat munsta fwuffy…”
>You stomp, “Deadmeat nuu munsta!”
>You look over and see the fluffy is looking at Haze.
>Haze is ignoring the fluffies humming an out of tune song.
>You continue on to the brush pile.
>When you get there the fluffy comes out of the brush pile.
>You can now see him better.
>There is a ragged nub where his leg should be.
>He has brown fluff and a white mane, his fluff is colored with streaks of gray.
>His piercing green eyes stare at you.
>”Yoo go way dis bwite time.”
>”Nuu nuf nummies fo aww fwuffies!”
>Pookie starts to puff his cheeks.
>You stare down the enemy fluffy, “Yoo bad fwuffy! Nuu wet fwuffy haf nummies! Keep nummies fo yoo onwy!”
>He stares back, “Yoo dum dum fwuffy! Nuu nuf nummies fo aww fwuffy!”
>He then gets a michievious smile on his face, “Befo fwuffy go way, you weave a mawe wif smawty hewd…”
>You puff your cheeks, “Nuu! Gif owies befo wet mawe go!”
>The smarty’s mouth falls open, “Smawty tought yoo smawt smawty…”
>Haze starts to run in place, “Hase am gud fwuffy… gud fwuffy…”
>He quickly walks backwards and sniffs your rump again.
>You get a bugged eye look while trying to keep your cheeks puffed.
>You compose yourself ignoring Haze, “Nuu gif bad smawty mawe! Gif bad smawty owchies!”
>”Yoo wisk hew fo mawe? Any dum dum mawe!?”
>Pookie is stomping and facing the other fluffies who have taken up stomping and puffing their cheeks.
>”Deadmeat nu-“
>The three legged smarty sits up and boops your nose hard.
>Your head turns with the force, “Yoo dum fwuffy!”
>You turn back fuming puffing your cheeks.
>The three legged smarty runs up and head butts you.
>You stand locked eye to eye with the smarty.
>Haze giggles and jumps at the closest unicorn.
>He boops Haze knocking him back.
>Haze giggles and shakes his head.
>The unicorn is making sparklies and Haze walks back to him.
>Haze licks the unicorn’s nose and leans nose to nose with him.
>”When smawty gif wowd… twoat cwunshies…”
>He ignores the sparklies in front of his eyes and he stares at the unicorn.
>Pookie is yelling at two other fluffies, “Gif owies! Gif wots owies!”
>More fluffies are starting to appear at the entrance.
>”Yoo too gud be smawty! Nuu sacwifise fo hewd! Hewd haf owies!”
>”Deadmeat nuu be bad to hewd!”
>”Yoo nee be meanie fwuffy or smawty feew bad abou’ sending some of smawty fwuffy wif yoo!”
>All fluffies freeze and whip around looking at the smarty friend, “WHA!!”
>Even you take a step back, “Wha dum dum smawty mean?”
>He stands huffing at you, “Too many fwuffy fo too wittle nummies…”
>”Onwy way fo hewd to wive is teww fwuffy to go… or gif owies and have fwuffies nuu wakie…”
>”Am smawty! Smawty do one dose tings!”
>Haze is scratching his head, “Hase gif owwies ow nuu?”
>Pookie is still looking around, “Fwuffy gif owchies! Fwuffy take wand! Fwuffy-“
>”Nuu!” You snap.
>The smarty smiles, “Yoo am smawt fwuffy… yoo get stwong owwie fwens and wive…”
>The unicorn looks over, “Yoo make owwie fwens weave? Teww Bwoos wha owwie fwens and Bwoos get dem…”
>He looks sad and lowers his head.
>You can tell he doesn’t want to lose any friends.
>The three legged smarty sits up and decrees, “Aww owwie fwen in dis pwace!”
>Once again all the fluffies look at the smarty, “WHA!!”
>You hear scurrying from outside as you hear fluffies running away.
>Bruce snaps up, “Bu’ smawty! Bwoos am gud fwen! Nuu wan-“
>The smarty whips around, “De smawty haf said!”
>He looks at the fluffies, “Yoo ge’ speshul fwens and go wif dum smawty hewd!”
>Haze looks in amazement, “We haf to haf dat fwuffy!?”
>He points at the unicorn he was nose to nose with.
>The smarty just smiles, “Wes!”
>You walk to the large unicorn, he is almost as big as you.
>”Yoo haf pwobwem wife be in Deadmeat hewd?”
>He looks at you and then to his other smarty.
>He then lowers his head, “Nuu… be gud fwuffy…”
>The three legged smarty looks at Bruce, “Yoo be stwong fwuffy. Dat way nuu fwuffies get big owies.”
>Bruce stands tall, “Bwoos be gud fwuffy fo smawty!”
>The three legged smarty looks at you, “Smawty send fwuffies to dum dum smawty! Den yoo go way!”
>You snort at him and walk out heading back to your herd.
>Pookie and Haze are next to you, “Why nuu gif owies! Haze gif wots owies!”
>You stop and stomp, “Dey bigger! Hewd nuu gif enuf owies!”
>You turn and glare at them, “Deadmeat can gif owies but Deadmeat be wone afteh!”
>Both Pookie and Haze shrink before you.
>”Fwuffies weave…”
>A smile crosses your face, “An fwuffies take aww nummies in fwont dey see…”
>You mill about and fifteen fluffies finally come join you.
>It is eight males and seven females, an assortment of earth, pegasus and unicorns.
>When all are assembled you look over your herd.
>It is getting big.
>It will be hard to control going past two legged monster hidey holes.
>Your head twinges.
>You stand tall, “Fowwow Deadmeat!”
>You turn and walk with your growing herd behind you.
>The enemy herd waves bye to their friends, some crying.
>You keep walking and when you get to the first trash can, you tip it.
>You turn to your herd, “Take nummies yoo fin and cawwy dem!”
>The waving fluffies then start to yell, “Nuu! Dey hewd nummies! Owie fwens!”
>Your fluffies start to get the nummies they can find.
>You turn and give a raspberry, “Yoo owie fwens deadmeat fwens noa!”
>You walk on with angry shouts behind you.