QB TALKS

DON AND QB

VilTur
Yea. I fell into the trap 10 years or so ago where online life started to be a blurry line with real life
but then online life was a choice
you had to sit at a computer
log in to your internet
and make a choice to be on there
now, online is everywhere
so its kind of the opposite, you have to make conscious decisions to not include RL in it
so interesting how the world has evolved in the last 10 years.
MidtermingKush
Absolutely
It's...changed a fair bit
VilTur
I don't know if you've been able to tell from my RP's (like you said real life can be an influence) - but i can sometimes be a superstitious person for certain things. That might be one reason i reference vilitans being as such
VilTur
So sometimes i give vague or unclear answers to things out of a superstitious fear that giving a more specific answer could influence the real answer :P
MidtermingKush
h
*ah
VilTur
crazy, i know
but there, now you know something personal about me that, hell probably no one else does :P
MidtermingKush
Sorry for cutting off slightly earlier
I was with this frosh I've had feelings with recently
VilTur
no worries
as said, you'll never hear a complaint from me when RL distracts you from NS Life :)
MidtermingKush
It gets extra sucky when one's done talking to Johanna, because really I understand her
I've found out that the reason why she sent a tragic message last sunday (on staying friends and such)
MidtermingKush
She had bipolar disorder and a couple of other you know those personality disorders in past. At current stage, after many years of break and walls, she has built walls where they either stand to protect her (and preventing people from coming in) or they break and cause the break
VilTur
yes those can be very tricky and delicate to manage
MidtermingKush
I wanted to say those feelings to her in the end, because I know I could make the difference, keep the promises and be there when she's in need, especially as someone with significant mental health history
But I know right now is not the time
VilTur
life is a journey, if its not the right time now the right time will come in the future
personally i always suffered from never knowing the right time to do anything
i'd either want to be impatient and go go go or then so hesitant about being like that that i would do the complete opposite
MidtermingKush
She's someone I could associate because of relatively similar personalities and the ways we think, and share challenging histories
But maybe because of that, I can't tell her yet
MidtermingKush
also me working in her residence hall and whatnot
VilTur
working as what, an RA or some other roll?
MidtermingKush
Judiciary officer, as in dealing with cases that RAs send forward to for violations
So I work on entire building, rather than just one floor (I live one storey above hers, but don't go to her room a lot because I don't want people to suspect)
VilTur
yea
i see
i either didn't have one of those, or wasn't aware the role existed
MidtermingKush
That adds to the guilt of having feelings for someone whom I should not look into her eyes for more than 30 seconds
VilTur
how much longer is your assignment, end of this semester?
MidtermingKush
Aye
VilTur
is she a troublemaker?
:P
MidtermingKush
I've broken many rules on my conduct with this student, lemme get to that
No, she's not
VilTur
well i think being patient is definitely the right move
in this particular cae
case
MidtermingKush
3 more weeks of classes left after this week, and then exams
VilTur
(also not knowing what specifically your expectations / code of conduct would be in your role)
oh realy just 3 weeks?
pfft
that may seem like a lifetime to you right now
but that's like no time at all
MidtermingKush
Oh, it's just 'friendly not friends', as in no being FB friends, exchanging snapchat accounts, etc, etc
VilTur
3 weeks ago feels like yesterday to me now
MidtermingKush
Yeah, definitely
About a month ago I really started talking to her frequently
VilTur
does she share common interests?
MidtermingKush
Yes
Her and I have pretty similar personalities and good number of interests as well
VilTur
how about productive differences?
MidtermingKush
As in?
VilTur
Well for example (and i know early on these can be difficult to identify)
Does one person like to cook and another like to clean
MidtermingKush
Ah
VilTur
does one person like to talk, another like to listen
MidtermingKush
We pretty much have same ratio of talk / listen these days :P
VilTur
sometimes having too similar a personality can be a little bad ;P
thats good
VilTur
one that can be tricky is if both people are control freaks :)
whether it is of a situation, or something physical or mental
MidtermingKush
With someone else I sorta have crush on for some time (my mind is really complicated when it comes to that department), I'm more of the talker while she's the listener
tho I've been trying to fix that after talking to my mother about it =p
VilTur
thats fine. what you want to avoid is if both people want to just be the talker
MidtermingKush
I see
VilTur
because then while one person is talking, the other isn't really listening, but just waiting for a time to transition into their own talking
MidtermingKush
Absolutely
VilTur
and that ends up not being as productive
MidtermingKush
Absolutely
MidtermingKush
I think I definitely know now that this Johanna....is someone I could really take care of, and am willing to do so
It's just that circumstances prevent me from saying the truth
VilTur
thats true, but is it also the case that some circumstances are also the reason you are there to begin with
MidtermingKush
Yeah, the job has brought me to her and I think the increased responsibilities have really caused her to trust me
VilTur
Sure, it will force some additional patience but the circumstances need not be blamed but be thanked:)
MidtermingKush
Indeed :)
MidtermingKush
I think one sentence that bothers me a lot is that she questions herself on whether any guy will be with her for more than just sex, which made me cry on inside
because deep inside, I know that I could be that being whom she needs and could spend hours being with her
MidtermingKush
Like...what am I supposed to say? Without telling my honest feelings?
VilTur
just be generic and true
MidtermingKush
I've told her that there are and will always be someone out there who thinks so, but idk if it worked
VilTur
university is university so people of varying levels of maturity are all put together in a pool, many looking for different levels of relationship
MidtermingKush
Indeed
VilTur
There  are many other people there who secretly ask similar questions "why does everyone just want to party" etc
the tricky part is those people finding each other
MidtermingKush
Indeed
I think I was really lucky to find her, now that I look at it
VilTur
exactly
thats what i was thinking :)
MidtermingKush
So, now that you know my situation, what should I do when it comes to matters with her?
VilTur
Well you would possibly know better on how she would react in either situation
i would tend to say maintain the status quo for the next 3 weeks then begin a slow progression if things haven't changed to dissuade you
MidtermingKush
The only bummer is that....she only has one or two exams (I think they're early), and I have to be here on campus 'til April 29
VilTur
but you will want to be honest so if the status quo changes forcibly don't make anything up
MidtermingKush
What do you mean status quo changing?
VilTur
Well, for example, if she bluntly asks you if you (specifically) have feelings for her in some way
MidtermingKush
I be honest about it?
VilTur
yes
but you you approach it gradually. instead of just saying "Yes." you say "Well, the more we meet and talk and the more time we spend together, the more i begin to realize that..." etc
MidtermingKush
I'm way too good at that xD
VilTur
lol
MidtermingKush
My writing style certainly shows that part
VilTur
true, there is some practice :)
MidtermingKush
So I guess, she will have to know eventually
VilTur
of course. But if you are feeling that its not right for her, or if you have hesitations as a result of your current responsibilities, then it doesn't make sense to force the issue. If there is anything that will develop out of this situation for the long term, having the interactions continue in their current form won't hurt those chances, if anything they
will improve them
MidtermingKush
I see
VilTur
the only risk is the "How long have you felt this way" question and then you answering with "well, 2 years" probably isn't ideal :P
MidtermingKush
Ofc not
I've only known in person for....a month
VilTur
right
which is why there could be some sense of 'get it out there'
MidtermingKush
RIP me then
There's someone I had interest aside from, and well that one's went for a year and half
VilTur
yea, in the long term, a few weeks isn't much
barely a blip
MidtermingKush
Guess patience is what I need
VilTur
thats my thought but you should still think about what you would say if she is not as patient as you think you should be :)
MidtermingKush
I see
* MidtermingKush writes them all down
VilTur
:)
MidtermingKush
I think I may end up putting some into RPs, just letting you know :)
VilTur
probably not a bad idea.
MidtermingKush
If things work out for me....well expect me to pretty much scrap the 30 years of waiting idea
and happiness for Dexter

QB AND WIDE RECEIVER

MidtermingKush
So a good news : At least I know why she's sent that tragic message last sunday
Eshan
ad n that is?
MidtermingKush
She had bipolar disorder and a couple of other you know those personality disorders in past. At current stage, after many years of break and walls, she has built walls where they either stand to protect her (and preventing people from coming in) or they break and cause the break
Eshan
welllllll that’s a bit of a load
anyways, how does that pertain to you?
MidtermingKush
I wanted to say those feelings to her in the end, because I know I could make the difference, keep the promises and be there when she's in need, especially as someone with significant mental health history
But I know right now is not the time
Eshan
Yeah I would keep that on the DL'
MidtermingKush
She will have to know the truth
Eshan
I always keep my emotions and ‘feelings’ to myself, no matter what
no she doesn't
personal philosophy here
MidtermingKush
If there's one person who tries to understand and be there for her, it'll be me
Eshan
the only person that NEEDS to know the truth, it’s yourself
MidtermingKush
You know what that truth is tho, and that's my sentiments
Eshan
I don’t understand that
like idk what u mean
MidtermingKush
If there's......no one beside her on the groves that we abide to, I will lie down and forget about the world
Okay, idk what quote I wrote but lol
Eshan
I don’t understand that either :P
but
I surmise she’s special?
MidtermingKush
She's special, someone who I could feel and understand a lot better
Eshan
interesting
MidtermingKush
Gosh, I'm an idiot. Can't decide between two girls who are unique in their own ways....
Eshan
Do you have either one on lock for certain?
MidtermingKush
No
Eshan
then you have nothing to decide
.
MidtermingKush
Just go for both? :P
Eshan
Well yeah
MidtermingKush
Perfect
Eshan
I feel like that’s obvious
don’t mean that in a shitty way btw
just
MidtermingKush
Oh silly Henry haha
Well they know each other........
Really specific program within a bigger program (Concurrent Education - Fine Arts), though a year apart
Eshan
if you don’t have someone on lock, persue all options because you hold no cards
I think we’re in a position where them knowing each other isn’t tooooo much of a factor in what we gotta do
you know?
right now it’s about furthering relations
MidtermingKush
so it's like how to smoke as much weed as possible?
=p
Eshan
well always
although I need to cut down on my consymoption
consumption
which is gonna be hard
MidtermingKush
Hal's no longer your dealer? :P
Eshan
no unfortunately
though I think my new one wants to sleep with me
but I know she’s v many loose so idk if I want to
MidtermingKush
These hoes.....they fuck everybody!
Eshan
some do hahahaha
I would if I was a girl
MidtermingKush
You know you wanna fuck as many people as possible bro
Eshan
if I had the same personality? hell yeah
I already flirt with everyone lol
MidtermingKush
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=269S4WgPWOw <- This is for you
Eshan
jesus christ
:P
MidtermingKush
Fits you right? :P
Also good news with Johanna, and it's that she knows that there won't be huge progress with this guy whom I thought was competition (make-out buddy, occasional visiter, etc)
Eshan
good
he’s just a temp thing?
MidtermingKush
I think so. Based on what I've heard from her saying to me is that with him he mostly talks of humours and news around the world, and she just shut him out of emotional realms (which I am getting more into)
MidtermingKush
I think one sentence that bothers me a lot is that she questions herself on whether any guy will be with her for more than just sex, which made me cry on inside
Eshan
you gotta push her towards ending things with him
MidtermingKush
I think that'll happen pretty soon, by the laws of nature
Eshan
re the more than a sex line: you’re looking towards being /something/ with her rather than just for sex?
MidtermingKush
I just won't be putting pressure because that guy's close friend is a very good buddy of mine on program
You know me Eshan
Eshan
well if he’s a close friend than maybe don’t but still you do what you gotta do
true
I don’t know why I asked that lol
MidtermingKush
LOL
MidtermingKush
re the more than a sex line: you’re looking towards being /something/ with her rather than just for sex? <- Well isn't that more on you? :P
Eshan
no
I’m asking about you
MidtermingKush
Oh true
Eshan
LOL
 :P
MidtermingKush
I forgot that I know enough of Robert Bennett not to ask that question on him =p
Eshan
You know more about me than most people Henry, I will admit that
still though, gotta keep you in the dark about some things :*
MidtermingKush
You're the exact opposite of me when it comes to certain.....patterns
Eshan
hey man I induldge
MidtermingKush
Yo, can I use some stuff from our logs for a NSCF RP? :P
It'll be between 2 teammates =p
MidtermingKush
An emotionally troubled QB and a confident WR
Eshan
sure lol
MidtermingKush
That QB.....arguably the most tragic of characters I could think of :P
He'll live a fairly long life, but I read too many Greek tragedies these days haha
He does have sex though, and from one of them an illegitimate child came out at his age 20 =p
Eshan
niceeeee
I’ve had some fun scares lol
MidtermingKush
Like roofie scares? ;)
Eshan
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Eshan
never
I mean have had friends be roofied
MidtermingKush
lol
Ahhh
Eshan
but like I would never take advantage
MidtermingKush
That's a good man
Good enough of a man :P
Eshan
hey that’s fucked up stuff
explotation of persons is totally fine
MidtermingKush
There's difference between exploitation at plain level and rape
Rape is just BAD
Eshan
yes
this is true
Kushleesi
A lot of sweet dreams about me wishing to fuck the frosh
last night
Eshan
desire is a wonderful thing
Kushleesi
Agreed
I mean she doesn't think the same way, but pretty good bods not gonna lie on that