Nisemonogatari Commentary 1b, v3

Nadeko: We sincerely thank you for buying Nisemonogatari Anime Blu-Ray or DVD Volume 1, Karen Bee part 1.  My name is Sengoku Nadeko, and I’m in charge of the alternative commentary for this first volume.
Tsukihi: What was that?
Nadeko: Eh?
Tsukihi: You’re supposed to begin with “I’m NADEKO, yo!” aren’t you?
Nadeko: N-no! There’s been some kind of mistake!
Tsukihi: All these people listening to the alternative commentary are expecting to hear from DJ Nadeko, you know? Do you really want to betray those expectations?
Nadeko: I-I don’t have any intention of betraying… But, but…
Tsukihi: Are you a traitor?
Nadeko: A traitor...? W-Why do you have to go that far? Just for dropping the DJ Nadeko persona… It’s not like I even dropped it, it never really existed in the first place!
Tsukihi: But it did. In fact, it’s on the official website’s character list.
Nadeko: It is!?
Tsukihi: “DJ Nadeko, the wandering middle-schooler DJ. Randomly shows up at your neighbourhood club, spins discs, then disappears.”
(Sara = Disc = Plate, Nadeko’s next line is because Tsukihi made it sound like spinning plates)
Nadeko: It sounds like you’re talking about street performance when it’s phrased like that…
And there even aren’t any clubs in the neighbourhood!
Tsukihi: There are so! I go all the time.
Nadeko: All the time!? That’s Tsukihi-chan for you, so grown-up!
Tsukihi: I go every morning.
Nadeko: What’s this? It’s starting to sound a bit like a lie.
Tsukihi: Here we go, check it out!
Nadeko: Check it out? This sounds put on…
Tsukihi: Anyway, we’re starting again. Enter as DJ Nadeko ok; I won’t let you ruin the flow of the conversation!
(I have no idea if the last three lines are even close to right)
Nadeko: You’re scaring me Tsukihi-chan. You’re way too into this…
Tsukihi: What? Now I don’t know too much about it, but rumour has it you’re quite popular, Nadeko-chan.
Nadeko: T-t-That’s absurd!
Tsukihi: Hmm? So what you’re saying is, you’re so popular that you couldn’t possibly do stuff like “DJ Nadeko”? That people like me should be ordered to do these kinds of dirty jobs instead?
Nadeko: No, this is a misunderstanding… Ok, ok I’ll do it! I don’t think I can see through the whole hour in that character though…
Tsukihi: The opening scene is enough. Of course, I won’t leave you to do it by yourself, Nadeko-chan. I mean, we’re the buddy-buddy middle-school second-year duo!
Nadeko: You... you think so?
Tsukihi: So go introduce yourself, DJ Nadeko! I’ll ad-lib and follow on from there.
Nadeko: You’ll become Brother Tsukihi for me?
Tsukihi: I will, I will. Better yet, rather than I will, I’ve always been Brother Tsukihi. Onii-chan calls me Dai (Big) Brother, you know! I kid I kid, but he is pretty short, isn’t he?
Nadeko: Koyomi Onii-chan is not short!
Tsukihi: It won’t be long before I’m going to overtake his height, I think. At the moment, he calls me things like the smaller of the younger sisters, but before long the situation will be that I’ll be calling him the small-of-a-person big brother.
Nadeko: Doesn’t using small like that refer to a different implication of the word?
Tsukihi: You’re right. He’s already someone you could call a small person. Yay, Yay! Small-of-a-person big brother, yay! Ah, that was refreshing.
Nadeko: Isn’t Koyomi Onii-chan going to hear this?
Tsukihi: He won’t, he won’t. He’s busy studying for exams, you see. Ok, let’s refocus.
Nadeko: It’s NADEKO, yo! To those who bought Nisemonogatari Blu-Ray or DVD, Volume 1, Karen Bee: respect, yo! I’m grateful to all you loved parents, to fellow brothers and sisters born together, and finally to you, hah! For the next hour, let’s all say YO to our hearts content along with Nadeko’s rhymes, yo! Next, introducing my upbeat buddy, Brother Tsukihi, come on!
(She’s rapping. Kind of.)
Tsukihi: Hello. I’m a Tsuganoki 2nd Middle School second-year, Araragi Tsukihi. I’ll be in charge of the alternative commentary together with Nadeko-chan. Although we don’t have much experience at this, we welcome you to join us for the next hour all the same.
Nadeko: My ladder was pulled out from under me, YO!
Tsukihi: Sorry, I just couldn’t do it. Nadeko-chan, don’t compel your friends do such embarrassing things.
Nadeko: It’s embarrassing for me too, YO! No, I mean, it’s embarrassing for me too…
Tsukihi: But you were surprisingly enthusiastic there, weren’t you?
Nadeko: Now that you mention it, I might have overdone it…
Tsukihi: So basically, Nadeko-chan is at fault here. I haven’t done anything wrong at all. I’m fundamentally good.
Nadeko: Tsukihi-chan, your popularity is taking a hit here…
Tsukihi: Well come on, put yourself in my shoes, Nadeko-chan. To do a commentary with someone as popular as Nadeko-chan is enough to put someone under a lot of pressure, you know?  All I have to do is make one slip of the tongue and, “whoa, she’s horrible to Nadeko-chan” and “I feel so sorry for Nadeko-chan” and “She’s bullying Nadeko-chan!” I’m certain to become a target for that kind of criticism.
Nadeko: Didn’t all of that actually occur in only a mere 4 minutes…?
Tsukihi: So you see, I found a clear solution: stop caring. In fact, I decided to be proactive and go on the attack against you, Nadeko-chan.
Nadeko: How did you come to that conclusion!
Tsukihi: During the recording of this alternative commentary, I’m going to defeat Nadeko-chan!
Nadeko: Defeat!? Tsukihi-chan, what are you planning on doing to me…
Tsukihi: What do I feel like doing, I wonder… Nadeko-chan, right now is the only opportunity you have to run away. If you want to leave here alive, now is your only chance.
Nadeko: Understood. Well then, -
Tsukihi: Why are you leaving!? You’re going to leave your friend behind? You’re cold. You’re stone cold, Nadeko-chan.
Nadeko: By attack, you meant this kind of devious attack, then.
Tsukihi: The buddy-buddy second-year middle-school duo, yay!
Nadeko: Yay…
But wait, Tsukihi-chan, wouldn’t it be fine to just disregard that kind of thing? I mean, you’re way more popular than me anyway.
Tsukihi: Who are you calling an ever-honest person?
(Probably a Chibi Maruko reference)
Nadeko: No, not ever-honest, ever-popular.  Besides, aren’t you a liar, Tsukihi-chan?
Tsukihi: That response was pretty harsh considering I was just messing around, Nadeko-chan.
Nadeko: Your nickname in elementary school was “Usotsukihi-chan” (Usotsuki=Liar), wasn’t it?
Tsukihi: Stop!! Don’t go revealing nicknames from my past that even my brother doesn’t know!
Nadeko: The boys who called you that didn’t escape unharmed, did they?
 Tsukihi: There were no boys that didn’t escape unharmed, but that’s because they all called me “Lala-chan”. That’s right, I was popular. Rather than ever-honest, I was going to say I was ever-popular!
Nadeko: So that’s what you were going to say. But, yeah, even now as part of the fire sisters, you’re a middle school star, right? So there’s no reason for you to flare up at the likes of Nadeko.
Tsukihi: “The likes of Nadeko”…  There you go again, using a phrase designed to make people feel sympathy for you.
Nadeko: “Make people feel sympathy for you”... You don’t have to say something so full of malice.
Tsukihi: There’s no malice here at all! All I have is envy. Ah! I’m so envious. Watch yourself, Nadeko! You better not think you’ll get away without paying for what you’ve done!
Nadeko: Why are you talking like Urami Matarou all of a sudden? And I swear I haven’t done anything I need to pay for!
(Reference to Matarou ga Kuru!)
Tsukihi: Don’t call someone else’s big brother “Koyomi Onii-chan”!
Nadeko: Is that what you’re mad about?
Tsukihi: I feel much better after yelling. Well, it’s about time we started for real, don’t you think? Like only Urami Matarou, the alternative commentary.
*Nadeko Laughs*
Tsukihi: Wow, that joke worked? That one?
Nadeko: I’m sorry, but – (misunobu? Don’t know what she says here)
Tsukihi: Heh, I mean that’s ok. Don’t laugh at too easy of a gag though.
Nadeko: I’ll try.
Tsukihi: Maybe we should start with an explanation of what an alternative commentary is?
Nadeko: That sounds about right.
Tsukihi: Just like how wherever there is light, there is shadow, in this world, wherever there is a conversation, there is another side to it. Even in this story, Nisemonogatari, there is another story to be told, about the other side to the story.
Nadeko: That’s not right! This isn’t some kind of incredible spin-off like that.
Tsukihi: So this isn’t the Doraemon to our Paaman?
(Lots of Fujiko Fujio references)
Nadeko: Doraemon isn’t a spin-off of Paaman!
Tsukihi: Then what is this then? This “Alternative Commentary”. I just took this job up based on what I heard from my brother.
Nadeko: You got that from Koyomi Onii-chan huh. Wait, that means he’s definitely going to hear this! Did you take this up not knowing?
Tsukihi: It sounded so cool! “Alternative Commentary” – it won’t appear on the front: the other side’s commentary! Even if it weren’t me, they would have taken this up. Although that phrase does sound a bit chuuni.
Nadeko: We’re literally chuuni (in middle school second-year), though.
Tsukihi: The buddy-buddy second-year middle-school duo, yay!
Nadeko: You didn’t really evade that very well, you know.
Tsukihi: So, what is this alternative commentary, then? Please explain, Nadeko-chan.
Nadeko: It’s just a special extra on the Blu-ray or DVD. Where there would usually be only one commentary, to commemorate the release of the first volume they said “let’s put two on”, just as a little fanservice.
Tsukihi: Nadeko fanservice!?
Nadeko: Don’t stick such a weird name into the alternative commentary. So in relation to the first supplementary audio track, the second one is called the alternative commentary.
Tsukihi: Hmm. So what you’re saying is, we’re the second string.
Nadeko: You’re the embodiment of jealousy, aren’t you, Tsukihi-chan.
Tsukihi: Well let’s get on with this then. Quietly. As the second string commentators.
Nadeko: Are you going to keep doing the commentary in this kind of tone?
Tsukihi: No, you see I’m going to continue in a manner befitting the second string. That way I won’t get in the way of the very important people in first-string.
Nadeko: You’re scaring me.
Tsukihi: Huh! Onii-chan’s on TV! What is this!?
Nadeko: Eh? What’s with the fresh reaction!?
Tsukihi: Hm? Oh, is this that kind of project?
Nadeko: “That kind of project”? What kind of project did you think it was?
Tsukihi: Hm? All this time, was this really all set in my house? I was concentrating so hard on messing around with Nadeko-chan that I wasn’t looking at the screen.
Nadeko: I was concentrating so hard on being messed around with that I wasn’t looking either. Do you want to rewind and go from the start?
Tsukihi: It’ll be fine. It’s not like anyone is expecting anything from us. Lowly second stringers like us should just know their place and do their job. To put it another way, people of our social status just aren’t worth the time or effort that pushing the rewind button would require.
Nadeko: You’ve gone so far with envy that it’s become obsequiousness.
Tsukihi: Even the way the word “obsequiousness” (hikutsu) sounds gives off a vibe of obsequiousness. What can I say? Long ago, people must have put a lot of thought into things, giving people like us such a fitting descriptor.
Nadeko: Cheer up, Tsukihi-chan!
Tsukihi: To think the day would come where Nadeko would be trying to cheer me up. Ok, I’ll give it my best.
Nadeko: Let’s give it our best!
Tsukihi: Let’s give our second-string best as second-stringers.
Nadeko: But you know, if only Karen-san could have come.
Tsukihi: Right here?
Nadeko: Mm-hmm. I mean, the lead parts are the fire sisters. Instead of someone like me, it would have been great for the commentary to have been delivered by Karen-san and Tsukihi-chan.
I’m Karen!
Tsukihi: Tsukihi here!
That entry feels really nostalgic.
Nadeko: Your house looks really spacious (hiroi).
Tsukihi: What’s that? I’m the heroine?
(It sounds like hiroi.)
Nadeko: I didn’t say that. I did say you had a leading part, though.
… Your house is spacious, isn’t it Tsukihi-chan?
Tsukihi: Hmm. Now that I think of it, you can even play baseball (yakyuu) in the living room.
Nadeko: That’s impossible! Don’t say stuff like “now that I think of it” and then casually proceed to lie, Tsukihi-chan.
Tsukihi: My mistake, I meant strip rock-paper-scissors (yakyuuken), not baseball.
Nadeko: Eh? W- Who do you play with?
Tsukihi: There’s no way I would play strip rock-paper-scissors with anyone other than my brother, of course.
*Nadeko freaks out*
To be exact, my brother forced me to play strip rock-paper-scissors with him.
Nadeko: That’s not funny. Wait, you’re joking, right? Koyomi Oni-chan is an adult, so he wouldn’t do those kinds of things Tsukihi-chan!
Tsukihi: You’re right, of course he wouldn’t.
Nadeko: The living room is where you guys fight, right?
Tsukihi: What’s happening here isn’t a fight. Aren’t you listening? This is communication. No, this is going further than communication. This is commummunication.
Nadeko: Eh? If you add an extra “mmu” into communication, does it make the meaning stronger? This is the first I’ve heard of that.
WAIT! I just got the feeling that Koyomi Onii-chan called my name!
Tsukihi: Oh, so the cat’s out of the bag… The truth is, this is the scene where my brother phones your house. To phrase it like Ninja Hattori-kun, this is the volume (maki) where my brother phones Nadeko’s house.
Nadeko: Like Kemumaki, right? Wait, that’s not –
Tsukihi: Oh, that’s right, we have to give an explanation!
Nadeko: Hm? An explanation?
Tsukihi: What are you doing, Nadeko-chan?! Why would you forget such an important thing! This disqualifies you from being an MC, you realise!?
Nadeko: I-I don’t even know what I’ve done wrong, though.
Tsukihi: You know - some time has passed since the anime began, and we’ve had the chance to develop a more intimate relationship, so now is about the time at which we start referring to each other differently. If we don’t explain that properly, the viewers will get confused!
Nadeko: Oh. Yeah, of course. I still don’t understand why you’d get mad at me, but… Yeah, that’s right. This is about the time where I start to call you “Lala-chan”, and you start to call me “Sen-chan”, right?
Tsukihi: Jeez. I don’t have the patience to put up with you sometimes!
Nadeko: It certainly does seem that way.
Tsukihi: Well, as time passes, it’s only natural for the terms people use to refer to each other to change, right? Take my brother: now he might call us stuff like “the bigger sister” and “the smaller sister”, but once upon a time he used to refer to us in a much sweeter way. Although when that topic comes up he gets seriously mad so I never bring it up.
“Lala-chan” is a nickname from elementary school, isn’t it? I mean, I don’t even have any friends that call me that anymore!
Nadeko: That’s right, yeah.
Tsukihi: Take the “Rara” from “Araragi Tsukihi” and you get: “Rara-chan”. “Why would you take out the middle?” – is something I can say now, but I really wish they had put more thought into it.
Nadeko: “Usotsukihi” has a lot of thought put into it, I think.
Tsukihi: And like I said, I have never been called Usotsukihi before in my life. (Usotsuki=Liar)
Nadeko: Is that so…
Tsukihi: It’s possible that I’ve been called Usotsukanaihi before, however.
(Usotsukanai = doesn’t tell lies)
Nadeko: Well then, Usotsukanaihi-chan –
Tsukihi: Now I remember! I’ve never been called that nickname before either.
Nadeko: That makes sense. I don’t know that one, after all.
Tsukihi: And for you, they took the “Sen” from “Sengoku” to make “Sen-chan”, right? Well, I suppose it’s a run of the mill, normal nickname. Such poor naming sensibility, even for elementary schoolers. As your friend, Nadeko-chan, I feel like complaining to whoever those people are that gave you that nickname!
Nadeko: You gave me that name, Tsukihi-chan.
Tsukihi: Huh!? You’re joking! Me?
Nadeko: Well, that was pretty much the way the Tsukihi-chan of those days came up with nicknames.
Tsukihi: Simple is me!
Nadeko: So it’s possible that’s the reason for your nickname back then, “Rara-chan”, specifically the weird choice of taking the middle two syllables from your name to make the name. Rather than having not much thought put into it, it’s possible that it was actually a hidden message from everyone.
Tsukihi: Come on! Why wouldn’t they just tell me?
Nadeko: If they did, you would get mad. “Here I am, being nice enough to come up with a nickname, and you have the gall to reject it!?”
Tsukihi: Whoa! An elementary school girl’s specialty. How irritating! It’s a shame I can’t deliver that line, but since we have Nadeko here to execute it herself as best she can, perhaps it was really worth coming today after all.
Nadeko: “Dakerudekidemo?” (Tsukihi probably flubbed part of what she just said)
Tsukihi: Dakerudekidewo. I didn’t make a mistake!
But I see, so that’s the kind of elementary school student I was. I see, well compared to then, I’ve matured quite a lot! All the better for it.
Nadeko: Is that really a valid way to sum things up?
Tsukihi: Huh? Where’s this?
Nadeko: Huh? Is Part A finishing?
*Part B Begins*
Tsukihi: Well, here’s the Nisemonogatari Blu-Ray or DVD volume one, Karen Bee part 1 alternative commentary! This is being brought to you by Araragi Tsukihi and Sengoku Nadeko – from here, we’ll enter part B of the first episode of Karen Bee. Let’s get fired up!
Nadeko: No, don’t! You can be as enthusiastic as you want, but it won’t work! You won’t be able to gloss over the fact that part A finished without us saying anything worthwhile!
Tsukihi: What is “us” supposed to mean? Don’t say it like both of us were at fault.
Nadeko: But I’m pretty sure both of us were at fault…
Tsukihi: No! It’s my fault, isn’t it? I’m completely at fault. My fault and only mine. Nadeko-chan did absolutely nothing wrong. I was the one at fault here.
Nadeko: Tsukihi-chan is attempting to make herself look good!?
Tsukihi: It’s my fault because I didn’t warn you properly. Why, oh why didn’t I foresee how Nadeko would slip up and warn you ahead of time to prevent it?
Nadeko: I don’t think that line of reasoning actually puts you in the clear as much as you think.
Tsukihi: The actions of the subordinate are the responsibility of the superior. As I could not control my subordinate from going wild, it is my fault that the alternative commentary hasn’t progressed as it should have.
Nadeko: I was your subordinate? Not your friend?
Tsukihi: Friend! Yay!
Nadeko: Yay!
Tsukihi: Buddy-buddy middle-school second-year duo! Yay!
Nadeko: Yay! I wonder if we really are all that buddy-buddy…
Tsukihi: Huh? Of course we are! We get along great. Why would you say something like that? No! I’m not annoying! At all!
Nadeko: I’ve stepped on a landmine.
Tsukihi: Hmm. You know, I just realised we generally haven’t been looking at the screen while we’ve been doing this alternative commentary. When did my appearance finish? I think the problem is, when we talk to each other, we tend to always be looking at each other’s face.
Nadeko: I haven’t been looking anywhere but your face, Tsukihi-chan.
Tsukihi: Eh? Oh, from under your bangs. Wow, that shocked me. I thought I was being seriously hated on for a second there. I thought there was the implication that you didn’t even want to see my face.
Nadeko: Just what kind of trauma are you harbouring? What could have happened in the ever-popular Tsukihi’s life?
Tsukihi: I just can’t get the hang of this. Nadeko-chan, you’ve done a commentary before, right? You know, in the something episode of the whatsy arc of the previous work, possibly with that person who was maybe your partner, right?
Nadeko: How on earth is it possible to have such imprecise knowledge? Even my existence is uncertain.
Tsukihi: So was that experience kind of like this?
Nadeko: At that time, it … how should I put this. Well, my commentary partner guided me through the process. So I was looking at the screen a bit more, I think.
Tsukihi: I see, so this partnery persony somebody was helping you through it.
Nadeko: Like I was saying, the person wasn’t that imprecise… He was like, an adult, aloha-shirt wearing guy.
Tsukihi: Tch. So we’re talking about guys now.
Nadeko: Whoa, what kind of reaction is that?
Tsukihi: Nadeko-chan, just now you said if you’re paired with a guy, you can do well. If you say something like that, it’s obvious that you’ll hurt my feelings! Of course I’d want to click my tongue.
Hey, “I’d want to click my tongue” – that’s turned into a joke, hasn’t it?
(TL note - shitauchi = click tongue, shitakunaru = I’d want to – THEY SOUND SIMILAR, HOW FUNNY)
It can’t be helped. We might as well add that as a follow-up gag. All because of a tongue click!
Nadeko: If you hadn’t attempted to make a follow-up, I don’t think you could have been so offended in the first place... Tsukihi-chan, why are you being so difficult?
Tsukihi: Don’t call me difficult.
Nadeko: Is something wrong? Did something happen to you today?
Tsukihi: Come on, Nadeko-chan.  When I think of how you might’ve preferred to do this with Onii-chan over me, of course that would make me act a bit churlish. When I think of how I’m just a substitute for my brother, of course that would worsen my attitude, of course I would be a bit snappy!
Nadeko: Well I understand your reason, but you still don’t make a good impression that way, you know? And don’t misunderstand, I’m actually really happy to be together with you delivering a commentary – well, I suppose it’s just the alternative commentary – but that doesn’t matter, just being able to do something with you makes me really happy.
Tsukihi: Really?
Nadeko: Really, really! If I’m lying, I’ll go home wearing nothing but bloomers.
Tsukihi: I don’t think such a severe punishment is necessary. Wait, Nadeko-chan, what are bloomers again?
Nadeko: Silly, like this, see?
Tsukihi: What? These are just pants. Thick material pants.
Nadeko: I was telling someone about how the alternative commentary was going to be recorded today, and they were kind enough to let me borrow these bloomers as a kind of talisman.
Tsukihi: Who is this someone?
Nadeko: Someone with the title of a young molester.
Tsukihi: Molester? Doesn’t that mean someone who sexually assaults people?
Nadeko: My mistake, I meant master.
Tsukihi: This person still sounds dodgy, even after the correction.
Nadeko: Maybe so, maybe not, but I promise he’s a good person.
Tsukihi: What is this? Aren’t you covering for him? Hmph! Why don’t you go and do the alternative commentary with him, then? I never thought I’d be insulted like this. I’m going home!
Nadeko: So sensitive…
Tsukihi: I’m going home wearing nothing but bloomers!
Nadeko: Don’t give into despair!
Tsukihi: But seriously, tell me how it is Tsukihi-chan!
Nadeko: Tsukihi-chan?
Tsukihi: Ah no, that’s not what I meant to say. But seriously, tell me how it is, Nadeko-chan.
Nadeko: Is it really alright to mix up yourself with the person you’re talking to?
Tsukihi: In the end, you really wanted to do it with Onii-chan, right? This iffy alternative-ish commentary-like thing?
Nadeko: Just how much do you dislike the alternative commentary title, Tsukihi-chan?
Tsukihi: Well then? I’m serious, if you were to tell me right now that you would rather do this with Koyomi Onii-chan, I can actually go home right now if you want me to.
Nadeko: Wearing nothing but bloomers?
Tsukihi: No, not that, but I could easily ring up Koyomi Onii-chan and say “This job I took up from you appears to be a bit beyond my ability, can you do it instead after all?” I would totally be ok with that, if you wanted it.
*Nadeko struggles*
Tsukihi: Well? Make your decision in the next 5 seconds.
Nadeko: Why are you giving me such little time!?
Tsukihi: What are you talking about Nadeko-chan!? You know, 5 seconds is actually quite–
…Oh, time’s up.
*Nadeko makes sounds*
Tsukihi: What kind of response is that? Although, it was cute.
Nadeko: Don’t call me cute…
Tsukihi: Well that was surprising. 5 seconds isn’t much time after all, is it? Tell you what though, my brother only needs 5 seconds to fully strip nude his younger sister.
Nadeko: Wait, what?
Tsukihi: So what will you do? I can trade places with him. I mean, sure the 5 seconds are up, but we’ll just say we’re in injury time.
Nadeko: That’s some long injury time.
Tsukihi: I opened up Los Angeles-sized injury time for you, so you better be grateful.
(Wordplay, Losu Taimu = lost time = injury time, Losuanjeresu Taimu = Los Angeles Time)
Nadeko: I wonder. I don’t think she’s explicitly lying, but I’m getting a really bad feeling about this all the same.
(This part is delivered like an aside. (A lot of them are, actually, but this one is like, extra aside.))
Putting that aside, Tsukihi-chan, you don’t have to ring Koyomi Onii-chan up.
Tsukihi: Oh. Why would that be?
Nadeko: I mean, recording with Koyomi Onii-chan, just the two of us – that would be really embarrassing, don’t you think? I’ve still got social anxiety even at the best of times, so I’d probably become incapable of saying a word.
Tsukihi: Oh.
Nadeko: And that would be no good, to not speak at all on a commentary. So, someone Tsukihi-tier is a perfect for me.
Tsukihi: What did you just say!?
Nadeko: Uwah!
Tsukihi: What the hell is “someone Tsukihi-tier is perfect for me” supposed to mean?
Nadeko: Crap, slip of the tongue.
Tsukihi: Even for a slip of the tongue, that’s too slippery! What is this, Japan’s biggest slip of the tongue, Kushiro-Shitsugen?
(Shitsugen = slip of the tongue, Kushiro-Shitsugen = name of a national park in Hokkaido)
Nadeko: You’re so mad I can’t understand what you’re saying.
Tsukihi: No, this isn’t at the national scale. This is the world’s biggest slip of the tongue, sss…
hmm…?
Nadeko: It seems as if you don’t know what the world’s biggest slip of the tongue is.
Tsukihi: Hmm. Well, that’ll do, then.
Nadeko: Her anger subsided because she couldn’t pass the baton between phrases! That’s way too peaky, Tsukihi-chan.
Tsukihi: So you’re fine then? With me?
Nadeko: Y-yeah! Tsukihi-chan is great. Tsukihi-chan is the best!
Tsukihi: Eh? Sorry, I didn’t hear that too well. Could you repeat it?
Nadeko: Tsukihi-chan is the best!!
Tsukihi: Sorry, just once more and I think I’ll get it.
Nadeko: Tsukihi-chan is the best! Tsukihi-chan is cute! Tsukihi-chan is beautiful!
Tsukihi: So you want to do this with me?
Nadeko: Of course, definitely! To the point where I don’t want to do it with anyone but you!
Tsukihi: Well if you say that much, I can’t turn you down. If you go that far, to turn you down would make me less of a woman. Well, let’s do this! I won’t call my brother.
Nadeko: Yeah!
Phew, this topic is finally over. (Delivered as an aside)
Tsukihi: But you know, Nadeko-chan, it’s that aspect of you that I hate the most.
Nadeko: *twitch*
Tsukihi: Why wouldn’t you ask me to call Koyomi Onii-chan at this point? It’s this kind of thing about you that pisses me off, that’s what I’m trying to say.
Nadeko: Bu- wh- Tsukihi-chan! Is this the kind of thing to talk about right now?
Tsukihi: But Nadeko-chan, you have to be able to recognize the fact that there are problems with your personality. There aren’t many flawless people like me, after all. First, Nadeko-chan, I want to make sure you fully realise that you aren’t me.
Nadeko: I’m pretty sure I realise that.
Tsukihi: Hm? How did we get onto that topic anyway? It was never really my intention to begin denouncing your personality flaws.
Nadeko: If that wasn’t your intention and you went that far, I can’t imagine what you would say with intent.
Tsukihi: Oh, that’s right. I remember, I remember. I was going to ask you how you did the commentary last time. You did volume 4, was it?
Nadeko: Yeah. Well, to be exact, I also did volume 5. But I only did one episode of three on that volume.
Tsukihi: Did you do that with an older man too?
Nadeko: The way you phrased that… Actually no, that was with an older woman, she was a really nice person.
Tsukihi: Why don’t you go do it with her then!? Send her a text and ask her to come in, why don’t you?
Nadeko: Not this again... You’re joking, are we really doing this whole bit again?
Tsukihi: Kii!
Nadeko: What’s ‘Kii’!?
Tsukihi: Pun-Pun!
Nadeko: It’s not exactly a mild way of getting mad, is it? But it must be nice, Tsukihi-chan, being able to get angry like that whenever you feel like it. How are you able to get mad so quickly?
Tsukihi: Am I being praised, here?
Nadeko: Of course you are. At this moment, my name is not Nadeko, but Homeko. (Home = praise)
Tsukihi: Like homeostasis, right?
Nadeko: Eh?
Tsukihi: No, never mind. For some reason or other I ended up saying something like some ancient philosopher, but when I think about it, it isn’t obvious what I meant by homeostasis.
Nadeko: In any case, from the perspective of someone like me, being able to express your true feelings properly is something to feel quite enviable about.
Tsukihi: Ok, I get you. No need to be so stiff!
Nadeko: That was old fashioned. (Tsukihi used an old-fashioned phrase)
Tsukihi: So what you’re trying to say, Nadeko-chan, is that the “ura” in “uraonsei” (alt. commentary) isn’t the “ura” in “urakaidou” (bypass) but the “ura” in “urayamashii” (enviable). No need to be stiff!
Nadeko: I wonder, is Tsukihi-chan just an idiot?
Tsukihi: Did you just say something?
Nadeko: Not a thing! Buddy-buddy middle-school second-year duo, yay!
Tsukihi: Yay!
Nadeko: So let me just check, Tsukihi-chan, would I be ok to assume that between the fire sisters, you’d be the one responsible for strategic decision making?
Tsukihi: Of course! I’m pretty smart, you know.
Nadeko: Well, going back on topic, you wanted to ask me about how we can commentate – although in our case it’s only an alternative commentary – but you wanted to know how to properly deliver a commentary, right?
Tsukihi: That’s right. If I’m not told how these have been done before, it doesn’t matter how smart I am, at that point it’s so hopeless you can only throw up your hands.
Nadeko: You’d resort to throwing up your hands pretty easily, huh.
Tsukihi: A pose showing off the underarms - sexy!
Nadeko: Hmm. But back then, I was given a lot of guidance. In either case, my comments sounded a lot more interesting than they were because they were being followed up on expertly, or something like that.
Tsukihi: Oh, so that’s it!
Nadeko: Were you able to understand something from what I said there? If you were able to grasp something from that, you really are smart!
Tsukihi: Basically, if I support you as I talk, this will go well. I just didn’t have enough dedication until now. It’s not so much about taking care of you as it is about backing you up.
Nadeko: Looks like it’s my fault again, in the end.
Tsukihi: It’s ok, don’t worry Nadeko-chan. From now on, I’ll support you. Well! We’ve solved all of our problems. Jeez Nadeko-chan, you have to speak up earlier!
Nadeko: I have been given the blame for everything.
Tsukihi: I thought it was weird. Here I am, being the person I am, and yet why weren’t things going well? But it was just that the rules were different. If I had been told about these local rules from the start, everything would have gone well from the start. Oh well, we’ll just salvage it from here on in. So, I wonder what’s happening on screen. Screen is Scene!
*ED Starts*
Tsukihi: Huh? What’s going on here?
Nadeko: What kind of scene is this, I wonder.
Tsukihi: Well, to take a guess, yes, this is probably… I’ve got it! I get it now. It totally just came to me. It’s a good thing I’m here. Really, it’s very lucky that I was the one to do the alternative commentary. If I wasn’t here right now, there would be no way anyone would know what’s happening here. That was dangerous, but we’re only just going to be ok: we can recover!
Nadeko: With such a long preface, you better say something amazing otherwise I get the feeling we won’t recover at all. Are you alright, Tsukihi-chan? Have you prepared something interesting to say?
Tsukihi: This is the ED song.
Nadeko. Ah…
Tsukihi: Don’t get all disappointed with me. Just try to feel disappointed with me.
Nadeko: What character is this?
Tsukihi: Just try to get disappointed with me. You’ll make me feel bad.
Nadeko: Ok, understood.
Tsukihi: Don’t play along, why would you flatter me like that?
Nadeko: What would have been the correct response? According to you, what should I be doing?
Tsukihi: Wow, to think part B had already finished. What was my brother doing in part B, I wonder? What kind of conversation could he have had with whom? Maybe Karen-chan had an appearance.
Nadeko: Who knows? I wonder if Koyomi Onii-chan reached my house already. I hope I was able to meet him there properly.
Tsukihi: Ah man, I’m feeling a little bit depressed. When I think of how after this, I’ll go home and my brother will get angry at me, I feel totally blue. So blue. I shouldn’t have come. I came for Nadeko-chan’s sake, but Nadeko-chan won’t even display the slightest bit of gratitude.
Nadeko: At this point, there isn’t even one good reason for me to feel any gratitude towards you.
Tsukihi: Ah, I would sure love to be thanked by Nadeko-chan.
Nadeko: What a strange desire.
*PV starts*
Tsukihi: Yay! Nadeko here!
Nadeko: Tsukihi-chan, what is it?
Tsukihi: Don’t talk about me like I’m some unidentified life form. “What is it?” you said.
Nadeko: I get the feeling I’d have a better time trying to communicate with aliens.
Tsukihi: You’re really going that far? This is from you, Nadeko-chan?
Nadeko: We’re about to head into episode 2, aren’t we? Although, based on the preview… yep, it looks like my appearance begins episode 2!
Tsukihi: Even though it’s indoors… niwa. (Niwa=garden=episode 2)
*Nadeko laughs*
Tsukihi: It doesn’t matter what I say, this girl will laugh. Well, my engine has finally warmed up: let’s give it our all for the second episode, yeah!?
Nadeko: The feeling of “you’re saying it now, at this late stage!?” is in the air, yo!

*END OF EPISODE*


Bits I couldn’t work out/not sure about
1:09 – Nadeko, “Chakura? *Tsukiakibappoi*”? Tsukiakibappoi, the ppoi makes sense, the rest I can't make sense of.
1:12 – Tsukihi, “私にも *danbari* と言う物“. Not sure what she means by danbari.
5:59 – Tsukihi, “浦見魔太郎だけに：裏音声を”. I don't get the joke.
6:07 – Nadeko, “Chotto Gomen, *misunobu*”. Not sure what misunobu is? I can’t think of what else she could be saying here.
6:25 – Tsukihi, - there’s some serious wordplay going on here. I hope I got the meaning across; slightly proud of the line I came up with here, but I’m also a little worried it’s missing some details.
10:14 – Nadeko, “Kemumaki”, one of the characters in Ninja Hattori-kun. I have no idea why that’s relevant. Hopefully I don’t need to for it to still make sense.
10:55 – Tsukihi – “見切れない”, that phrase confuses me a bit. Not sure if my translation accurately reflects what she’s actually saying.
12:34~12:56 – This whole section is a bit fucked up. I think Nadeko says something about making a face, which is why she puts on that weird voice to begin with because she’s supposed to be making a face as she says it. I don’t get, however, what kind of face would be relevant to making nicknames, unless it’s just a smile so the implication is that she’s being nice. Then Tsukihi’s whole thing has about 3 words I’m not sure about. “Joshi no tokui*X*” (maybe “gao”, face again?), “kono *X* wo” (maybe “rei”, dunno which), and the big one, “hitorijime dakerudekidemo”. I just don’t know. Hitorijime is monopoly (unless it was “hitori ijime”, like self-bully? lol) and dake and deki can mean things, but put together like that I just can’t comprehend it. It could be that she flubbed saying dekirudake or something. Giving it a shot anyway.
XX: XX – I hate translating “follow”, especially the way Nisio uses it because he’s very willy-nilly and is completely ok with stuffing it in anywhere. Any time you hear the word follow, just intuit your own meaning the way you understand the word to mean in the context given. Of course, I shouldn’t even have to say that.