Thread 5: Stories 76-90

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>Chrysalis
"Cadence"
~~~~~~~

>Messin up- OW! Papercut! OOooooh, that is a bad place to get one of those.

"CHRYSALIS!"

>Ah hah! By your desperate tone, I take it you have finally had enough and wish to do battle?

"I need your help!"

>....Oookay, that's new.

"The royal carriage broke, and I need a new one!"

>Applejack Two?

"No, Shiny accidentally threw 29 into it. The initial impact might have been repairable, but then it kind of skidded... several hundred feet.... and into a train. But that's besides the point. I need your help!"

>What for?

"I always get swindled out of a ton of money when I go carriage shopping. Normally I have to let Shiny handle it, but he's out of town. I need to have it by tonight, or else I won't be able to go shopping!"

>And you need me to...

"Change into me and go swindle them right back! I know you're great at that, I saw you at the movie rental place."

>I am a shrewd Changeling, I'll give you that. What's in it for me?

"Besides me letting you stay in my castle, yet again?"

>Obviously.

"Uh... you want this copy of "Hooves that beat like a heart?"

>OH SWEET MONKEY CELESTIA! The unrated version!? I didn't even know that really existed!

"The director has an... unhealthy fascination with me. He sends me these all the time. It's really creepy, Shiny almost banned-"

>Enough talk! Give to me that cinematic majesty, and consider it done!

"Great! No way this could backfire."

~~~~two hours later~~~

"Wow..."

>Yeeep.

"That's... that's a big carriage. And- and so pretty."

>Uh huh.

"...And you got it for this price, right? On the receipt you gave me? This isn't just the first payment or something?"

>That's all of it.

"You didn't offer him something, well, uncouth, did you?"

>Ugh, no! Just the money, nothing else. I'm too good to need to give up 'those' goods.

"...Mind control?"

>No mind control. All skills.

"...Chrysalis, I think we need to update your title. You are not a Queen."

>I'm not?

"You are clearly a wizard."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"Discord and henchmen"
'Luna'
~~~~~
All the princesses, plus Discord, 42, and Shiny are gathered in a meeting room.

>Alrigh', Ah'm callin' this meetin' ta order- Yes, Luna?

'We demand to know why the Chaos harbinger is here! He is not royalty nor even a mare!'

>Hey, Shinin's an' 42 're here an'-

"No no no! The Twin Moons is right, alas, I am not royalty for I was USURPED! But, I can change that in a jiffy!"

Discord snaps his fingers and vanished, outside the gathered hear trumpets sound and look out the window and saw an approaching, musical parade from nowhere coming through the streets.

"Make way for Princess Dissy!"

"Say 'hey!' it's Princess Dissy!"

>Oh, lordy, we ain' gettin' nothin' done today either...
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>Chrysalis
"SA"
'Cadence
~~~~~~

>...Shiny, let's not do something we'll regret.

"Do you really think I'm going to regret this?"

>You put that horn away right now, Shiny! You don't wanna go down that road!

"Oh, I want to go down it. I want to freakin' SKIP down that road, merrily humming a tune all the while."

>You really think I'll cave!? You think that threat of violence is anything in comparison to my pursuit of absolute domination!? My life has been building up to this moment, this moment of triumph! YOU REALLY THINK I'LL CAVE!?

"Maybe I don't want you to cave, maybe I just want to make myself a nice little bubble shield around your head, and watch as it sloooowly closes tighter and tighter. Maybe I'm not looking for victory, maybe I'm just hungry for a bit of vengeance! Will your blood stained across my floor sate my hunger for retribution? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO FIND OUT!?"

>MAYBE I DO! Maybe I want to see you go down like that, to give in to all of your hatred and dark desires! Go ahead, break my skull in, I'm sure you'll pull back from that, I'm sure you'll be normal as rain in just a few seconds, right? Do you want to dip into that darkness, Shining Armor? Can you float in a river of despair? FIRE THE SPELL, AND SEE IF YOU KNOW HOW TO SWIM!

"THIS ENDS TODAY, CHRYSALIS!"

>THEN LET IT END IN A WAY THAT WILL BE SUNG OF FOR AGES TO COME! BURN, SHINING ARMOR!

'...See, I told you guys playing Monopony was a bad idea. It always ends with death threats.'

"BUUURN!"
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>AJ12
"77"

"..."

>What?

"...I take it you tried to be a...pool boy?"

>How'd you guess?

"There are remnants of a net on your chitin."

>Oh damn it, I thought I cleared it all off. Thanks.

"No problem."

>So...mind going on with your story? About you and the rest being underground.

"You really want to hear it?"

>Yeah. You were at the point where one of you-

"45."

>45 died.

"Yeah, well, that's when we started to notice we were being watched. 50 was confident whatever it was couldn't stand up to eleven changelings together...but I don't think 93 believed him. He was always looking jittery, around all the corners...putting him on guard duty was a mistake."

>He went next.

"14 woke up in the middle of...well, while we were sleeping. He saw 93 was gone and there were these...crunching sounds in the darkness. He got the rest of us awake and we illuminated the cavern and we saw one...one of them."

>One of what?

77 sighs.

"32 started calling them Morlocks, after these creatures in a book he'd read during a deep cover mission. But at the time we just knew them as 'OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT BLAST IT!'"

>Whoa, really?

"They were like nightmares given form...disgusting pale ponies with sagging skin, blue veins, milky sightless eyes...it had torn 93 apart and was tearing at what was inside with these sharp teeth. We blasted it full force, reduced it to ash. That's when we knew this was going to be more than a simple scouting mission."

>That's fucked up...

"Yes, and it only got worse, far far worse..."

>We can take a break if you like.

"Thank you."
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>Applejack
“Celestia”
‘Luna’
“‘Twilight’”
-Rarity-
[Fluttershy]
(Spike)
___________

>Okay… now. Today’s order of business is the-

[Uh, um… Rarity…?]

-Yes, dearie?-

[Are you, uh… I don’t mean to offend but… never mind!]

“No, Fluttershy, what were you going to say?”

[O-oh! N-nothing, nothing at all…]

>Good. Now maybe if y’all shut up, Ah can show y’all this injunction from Ponyville Court that says-

“‘Wait, wait, this sounds important. Go on, Fluttershy.’”

[Well, it’s just… you’ve gotten pretty fat lately, Rarity… I m-mean, you were always fat, you've gotten fatter....]

-Well, I never!-

‘We agree with the yellow one.’

“Glad somepony said it first. It was on the tip of my tongue.”

-It’s only a little baby fat at the very least! Honestly, it’s nothing to gossip over!-

Celestia reached over towards Luna and took a slight hoof-ful of her midsection.

“No, see, this? This right here? This is baby fat.”

‘S-sister! Unhand us!’

“It looks like you’ve been partially fused with a whale, Rarity.”

“‘And a few of its young, actually.’”

>Okay, okay, we all know Rares is fat as fuck, now can we PLEASE-

-I... you uncouth fiends! Is this what this meeting is for? To try and shame me? How I carry myself should be of no concern to somepony who can barely lift the sun properly anymore, a lunar princess who reeks of foreveralone, a bookworm with incest issues, and a wannabe tree who has a rabbit foot up her rear!-

“…”

‘…’

‘“…’”

[…]

>Damn. That was… damn. Um.

Spike pokes his head in through the door.

(Wow, you guys, I don’t even think the sun can burn like that…)

>Ya know what, yeah, let’s just… let’s just come back to this later. Um, y’all may want to get some ointment for those burns.

-Hmph!-

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>AJ12
"Photo Finish"
~~~~~~

>So, you just model ponies? This sounds pretty easy, actually, what do you need the extra assistance for?

"Er, I don't actually need help wiz zat side of ze business. I, uh, actually need help wiz ze photography side."

>Well, I've never used a camera, but I'm sure I can manage.

"For centerfolds."

>...Oh. Well, hey, no problem on my end! I may not actually have had a marefriend in... ever, but it's not like I'm shy-

"Male centerfolds."

>...Ah. Well, you know, just because I'm not like that doesn't mean-

"Inter-species male centerfolds."

>...Well, to each their own, right? I can kind of sympathies with going outside your species, I guess-

"Specifically, ze Changeling on pony variety."

>...Wow, where'd you find a Changeling like that? 29? Tell me it's 29. I would LOVE to...

"..."

>...You don't want me to work the camera, do you?

"Nein."

>...Gonna pass on that one. But I have to say, this is still, by far, the best interview I've ever had. Nobody stabbed me at all!

"No need to rub it in."
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>AJ42
"Shining Armor"
'Chrysalis'
~~~~~~~~~

>My Queen!

'Hey 42! Real quick, help me pour glue all over this stack of bills."

>I came in to check on you, it's been longer than anticipated.

"Longest time of my life."

>Hold your tongue! I am speaking to my Queen.

'Bah, I'm sure you've got a handle on it back at the ballroom.'

>Well, actually, we found this one Changling-

'You've got it. You can go back whenever you're ready.'

>...O-oh! Of course. Are you sure you do not need me to spend the night? Ensure everything is alright here? They can't be too receptive to your presence.

'Nah, they can't get rid of me. I'm too strong for just shoving out, and the shield bomb will hit poor wittle AJ2!'

>Ah, yes. And he doesn't want that.

"No, I don't."

>Well, I mean... if you have no need of me-

'I don't!'

>Then I suppose I'll just...

*She starts to leave*

"...damn it."

'Hmm?'

"Hey! 42!"

>What?

"You're really going to try and walk out of there without challenging me to a fight? You're slipping. What, worried I'll hurt you this time?"

>You!? Hurt ME!? That's rich!

'Hey now, keep the fights out of this. I need to-'

"Keep me from doing paperwork, right?"

'Yeah?'

"I can't do paperwork AND fight at the same time, can I?"

'...Holy, 42 that's brilliant! Glad I thought of it!'

"Oh please, like you came up with the idea to have her keep coming back to fight me."

'Was not! She's going to come back every week and fight you now, and it was all my plan! 42, quit grinning like a loon and kick his ass!'

>Yes, my Queen! Come, Shining Armor, the arena is a much better place to shame you.

"If you say so."

*The both exit, leaving behind a very smug Queen in their wake.*

'...I'm so smart.'
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>Applejack
“Celestia”
‘Luna’
-Fluttershy-
[Cadance]
{42}
~~~~~~~

>Alright, tryin' this AGAIN-

-Um, I have a quest-

>THIS BETTER BE IMPORTANT!

-...Where's Twilight?-

>...Oh! Yeah, that is a perfectly valid question. She got lost in some kind of pocket dimesion er' somethin', couldn't' make it.

[FINALLY! Now that she's not in the room, can we PLEASE discuss the multitude of Changelings attempting to seduce my husband?]

>Cadence, that's not really-

'We would very much like to take part in this discussion!'

"Oh, this I've gotta hear."

-I... I think it sounds interesting.-

{Me too!... for, er, Changeling relations reasons, of course. Don't want a few bad eggs giving us a worse reputation, right?}

>...FINE! But only cause we're all actually talkin' fer once. What's yer' issue?

[How much more detail do you want me to go into?]

'A list of how many positions you have caught him in betwixt with Changeling would be a most excellent start!'

[He hasn't actually done anything with them!]

"Disappointing."

'Agreed! Is there something the matter with his vitality? We have a great many remedies-'

[He would never cheat on me!]

'..Cheat? We do not understand, is this a game you ponies play? It does not sound very fun.'

>...Did ya'll not have monogamous marriages back then?

'That word, we do not understand it. What does it mean?'

*Everyone looks at Celestia*

"...What? I figured she'd pick it up on her own."

'So, you are saying he does NOT have a harem?'

[NO! Do you!?]

'...Cadence, that is such ridiculousness. I am but one mare, what good would multiple possible fathers bring to me? We see the benefit of one, maybe two backups, but how am I to ensure a strong family line with a game of chance? Such silly words, you speak!'

*Everyone looks at Celestia again*

"...I maaaay have overestimated her socially adaptive capabilities, just a touch."

>...This is gonna be a looong night.

-I'll go get my puppets.-
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>AJ 12
"Diamond Tiara"
~~~~~~~~

>...So let me get this straight, you want me to, and I'm reading your notes here, these are not my words, 'bring destruction upon the Changeling'?

"Correct."

>...You do know I'm a Changeling, right? I'm not accidentally disguised, am I? I shouldn't be. I'm actually really bad as disguises, can't ever get them right.

"Now now, my policy is never to discriminate against any candidate!"

>Really? You sure about that?

"Absolutely!"

>Okay, just throwing this out there, where do you see me in, say, a couple years. After all the other Changelings are 'destroyed'

"...I may have to rethink my policy, now that you mention it."

>Yeah, sounds like a problem.

"By the way, are you as indestructible as 56?"

>No, I'm actually pretty brittle in comparison. Probably weaker than a pony, I would guess?

"Oh, so then a bomb probably would kill you."

>Well, yeah, obviously...

"I'd run if I were you."

>...The saddest part? This is only the second worst interview I've had in the last hour.

"Well then-"

*She hefts up an armful of bombs*

"Let's go for the gold, shall we?"

>...Crud.
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>Chrysalis
"SA"
~~~~~~~

>Heeey, Shiny! Just wanna-

"NO!"

>Eeesh, what's your problem?

"Shower time is Shiny's time! You DO NOT interrupt Shiny's time! Even Applejack 2 knows not to interrupt Shiny's time after the unfortunate lego incident! LEAVE SHINY'S TIME BE, OR FACE MY WRATH!"

>...

"..."

>...Lego incident?

"CHRYSALIS!"

>Alright! JEEZ! No need to get all jumpy. What're you doing in here that's so 'private' anyway?

"OUT!"

>FINE! Ugh...

*She leaves*

"...Captain Duckington, the massive bug monster seems to have gone astray!"

"Aye, first mate Squeakers, tis' a fine day to be havin' a high power on yer' side."

"Oh, Captain Duckington! Your big strong leadership is so enticing!"

"Now miss Candylass, do try to contain yer'self on my ship!"

"Oh, I just can't!"

"Then c'mere lass! Mwa!"

Unknown to the Prince, Cadence shuts the door he didn't notice had opened very, very slowly.

He was obviously busy, she could come back later. He probably didn't want any 'Cadence Time' with his Shiny Time anyway.
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>Blueblood
"Celestia"
~~~~~
Blueblood comes stomping into the room.

>AUNTIE CELESTIA, I DEMAND YOUR AUDIENCE THIS INSTANT!

"Well, hello, to you too, nephew, it's been awhile since we've spoke-"

>Because I was too furious with you and distraught over the funding I lost to my lifestyles!

"Oh, well Applejack noticed your spending seemed a teeny bit out of control since you already have a dozen yachts and speed boats, and a half-dozen airships-"

>What does that dirt stomping, sheep-humping, inbred, unter-mensch, mud pony have any right to say anything about how we spend our funding?!

"She's a princess now, Blueblood."

>...This is a joke, right? WELL I'M NOT LAUGHING! Auntie Celestia, has even your sense of humor gone mad to taint the entire noblity with the presence of an- Ugh! Earth pony? I bet she's spent all the money she stole from me to fund some backwards, bumpkin project or push Equestria into the Stone Age!

"Actually... I would say she's done a very good job. Far better than myself or even Twilight has-"

>Yes, that's another thing I want to talk about, what's this I hear about making Twilight Sparkle a Princess?

"You were at the coronation ceremony!"

>That was one of my doubles I use to stand in for me at trivial events. I told him to report what had occurred that day! Anyway though, all "Twilight Sparkle this" and "Twilight Sparkle that" was cute at first, but was turning your mistress into a princess really necessary?

Pop!

>Auntie? Is your eye alright? Are you coming to your senses?

"Yes... Blueblood, I am."

>Then please, do something the remedy this plight!

"I will..."

Celestia quickly writes a note and uses her magic to send it through Spike.

>That's it? That seemed rather quick. Did you order for Applejack's execution and the return of my coffers?

"No, nephew..."

The doors suddenly burst open to reveal a dozen Royal Guards.

"I ordered for yours."

And thus began the former Prince Blueblood's life as a fugitive.
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>AJ 42
"Various Changelings"
~~~~~~~

>Alright, how is everything going as far as cleaning this place up?

"We didn't like that wall, right? Didn't need it? Tell me we didn't need that wall."

>Which wall?

"Er, the one separating us from the Garden?"

>Now, see, we need that wall. That wall keeps out the rain and snow. Walls are useful.

"I was afraid you'd say that."

"Oh sure, NOW you tell us not to break down the wall! Where were you ten minutes ago, when I rolled in with a lot of dynamite?"

>Right here, telling you to put the dynamite back.

"...Well, you should have said it louder!"

"42? We're having trouble figuring out how these work."

>The broom? How is this difficult to you! What part of this don't you understand!?

"Core concept? Why would I want to push the dirt around?"

"Seems counter-productive, I agree. We should use fire instead."

"Yeah! Fire will 'eat' the dirt, and then the dirt will be no more."

"I love this plan!"

>NO! No fires! Fire bad!

"Now that's just disingenuous."

>So that's where her Majesty's dictionary went!

"I need a bedtime story, thank you!"

>Okay, OKAY! Calm down, 42, you can handle this. They may be as coordinated as a pack of rabid timber wolves that are also on fire, but there's no reason to lose hope! You can DO THIS!

"Oh no! The crying corner is on fire!"

>....ALL IS LOST!
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>AJ2
“Random Stallion”
_____________

>Wooooooow! So this is Ponyville! It’s so big, and colorful, and wow! Look at the big, fluffy marchmalley’s in the sky and- OOF!

“Hey! Damn it, watch where you’re going!”

>Oh, I’m sorry! I was just watching those floating marchmalley’s and-

“You clumsy oaf, look at this! You made me spill my soda!”

>I--I didn’t mean to, I’ll-

“It’s all over my jacket and….”

Caught in the middle of vigorously scrubbing his sleeve, the stallion only then noticed what he’d bumped into.

“Ugh, you’re quite the ugly thing, aren’t you?”

>Ugly…?

“Why’re you all… like that? That weird hair, those fangs and all those holes in your legs?”

>My... M-my hair’s n-not weird….

“Wait a minute, you’re one of those creatures that attacked Canterlot some time ago, aren’t you?”

>Nuh-uh, I… that wasn’t me, sir, I d-didn’t do that. I’m Sh-Shiny’s fri-

“Oh, damn it, I’m late for my meeting! Just get out my way!”

AJ2 felt something hard catch her in the side and although the pain was nonexistent she still didn’t see it coming and her footing fumbled, sending her tumbling over sideways with a gasp of surprise. Her little knee hit a rock and tears began to flow as she cried out.

>Shiiiiiiiinyyyyy!

-----------

>Applejack
“Celestia”
‘Spike’
-Luna-
_________

Meanwhile, in Canterlot, a silent disturbance struck the grand castle and nearly everyone within looked up towards the sky, some faces set in confusion and others beginning to show signs of rage.

Almost as if in slow-motion, the pen in Applejack’s hoof fell from her grasp and her ears twitched.

>Ah hear somethin’. But Ah know that’s not right… nopony could be dumb enough to mess with….

“Spike, grab your gun.”

‘On it, Princess.’

-It would seem as though somepony has just inquired of a death wish.-

Spike filled each vacant slot with a bullet and gave the chamber a good spin, his eyes narrowing.

‘That, or they just don’t know who they’re messing with.’

“Alright! To everypony and Changeling! We’re heading to Ponyville! Let’s move, move, move!”

>Twilight, Dash, Fluttershy- on me, let’s go, y’all!

-------------------

>Shining
“Cadance”
‘Chrysalis’
[Sombra]
_________

In the same span of breath, every single guard in the Crystal Empire turned towards the main castle; it was shrouded in a menacing black fog.

‘Is that who I think it is?’

“Yes.”

‘And is she cry-’

“Sounds like it.”

[GAAAAAARGH]

“We hear it, Sombra, we hear it.”

‘We need to get there, then! Where’s Shining?’

>Right here.

A shiver ran down both Chrysalis and Cadance’s spines at the unnervingly calm tone of voice issued from the Captain of the Guard, and they stared as he entered their circle, his horn glowing a piercing blue.

>We’re going.

And in a flash of aqua, the room was barren.

--------------

>AJ2
“Shining”
‘Random Stallion’
“‘Applejack’”
-Spike-
________

Back in Ponyville, the stallion watched as the weird little Changeling began to cry and call out for something called “Shiny.”

>Shiiiiiiinyyyyy! I--I was p-pushed and--and when I f-fell I hit my knee and-

‘Who in the hell are you talking to, you little bug-thing?’

“Me.”

It might as well have been a voice dredged up from the depths of Tartarus by the way the town square grew quiet. The stallion whirled around on his hooves and beheld what looked like a small army. He saw Princess Celestia- hell, all the princesses, that little baby dragon, smatterings of both the Canterlot and Crystal guards, Chrysalis, more Changelings, including one wearing a roughhewn helmet, and even a dark cloud with piercing red eyes, all of them looking ready to fight.

‘I--I--Shining Armor, your highness, I-’

In another flash of blue, Shining was before the stuttering stallion.

“One more word… and I ride with your skin into my next battle.”

And he swept past, gently scooping AJ2 up with one arm and cradling the sniffling Changeling into him.

“Are you okay, 2?”

>Sh-Shiny, I--I was just looking at the marchmalley’s up there and then I bumped into him and *sniff* and then I said sorry but he p-pushed me down and I hit my kneeeeee!

“It’s okay, 2, it’s okay, I’m here now. Show me where it hurts.”

>H-here!

His lips grazed her slightly scuffed knee and the love imbued within caused it to shine.

---------------

“There we go. I’m so sorry, 2, I should’ve never let you come here by yourself. I promise nothing, pony or otherwise, will ever hurt you again, okay?”

>P-promise?

“Marchmalley promise.”

Smiling, she nuzzled up against him and he turned to face the trembling stallion.

“I want you to know this and know it well. You made this bundle in my arms cry, and that upsets me. Very much so. What I could do to you would probably get me exiled from every inch of Equestria, but I can’t do that, because AJ2 needs me. So in a very real sense, she just saved your life. You should thank her.”

‘Th-thank you, AJ2!’

>Be nicer next time!

“Oh, there won’t be a next time, 2. Will there, pal?”

‘N-no!’

“Good. Now, what say to some cocoa and marchmalley’s, my little princess?”

>Yaaay! You’re the best, Shiny!

Shining Armor gave the Changeling in his arm a kiss before situating her on his back and trotting towards the miniature army. Wordlessly, they parted for him and the giggling AJ2 to pass.

“‘Head on home, Shinin’. We’ll take it from here.’”

Spike twirled his gun around a claw, grinning mischievously.

-So, Applejack… Can we? Just a little bit?-

“‘Yes. But don’t kill him.’”

-I make no promises. My aim’s a bit wonky with anger at the moment.-

DECLARED NON CANON BY AUTHOR
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ 42
'AJ 12'
"77"

>How is he?

'Better, there are starts and stops but it kinda looks like he wanted someone to tell all this too. Can't say I blame him, watching all his comrades die down there...uh...should we maybe tell Applejack there's evil cannibal freak ponies living under the mountain?'

>Nah I'm sure Celestia has it covered.

'Famous last words. I'll go talk to him some more and come back when he freezes up again.'

>Good luck.

12 trots over to 77.

'Hey buddy, feeling any better?'

"The food helps, we gain true sustenance on love but this 'popcorn' seems apt to keep my body going."

'Glad to hear. Are you ready to keep going?'

"Yes. We had just gotten to our first encounter with one of the Morlocks, like I said, we blasted if for killing poor 93. That's when 50 really started tightening up the ship, now there had to be two guards during rest periods and they had to be on alert at all times. Once we knew about them, we started to see signs of the Morlocks around every corner. Old gnawed bones, a tooth here or there, I swear to this day if we didn't blunder along they'd have been cannibalizing each other."

'Did you ever think of turning back?'

"No, 50 was dedicated to the mission, as were most of us. 32 had his doubts though, he said that even if we found a way into the city from here, there was no guarantee we could get back in time before the invasion. He said we should just scrap the mission and look for a way out. He was smart. Smarter than most, word was he'd posed as an Equinologist's wife for some time before the invasion began, gathering intel."

'Sounds like a cool guy.'

"He was...he...was...no no, I'm fine. 50 told 32 no, that he knew his orders and would follow them, so we kept going and going. The deeper we went, the more we felt like the Morlocks' numbers were growing, watching us, studying us. Then, when we stopped to rest in a larger cavern...they attacked."

"Morlocks don't make war like ponies, there's no rhyme or reason, no strategy, just a press of bodies. Teeth gnashing, hooves flying, and crude bone weapons waving in the air. We fired and fired on them, but there didn't seem to be an end to them. 71 got one of his legs broken by a crude mace made from a skull, and they dragged him into a tunnel...14 got his throat slashed by a spear...50 called a retreat and we fought our way into one of the tunnels, 21 collapses if behind us. We lost two of our number in that single cavern. But I saw 88 carrying out..."

77 looks down at the bone knife.

'So that's how you got it?'

"How he got it, it wouldn't be mine until later...in the water...water..."

'Are you ok?'

"What? Oh yes, I just, would actually like some, y'know, my throat's a bit dry from all the talking."

'Oh of course, I'll be right back.'

"Thanks."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Twilight
"Luna"
'Celestia'
*Applejack*
~~~~~
'Good morning, Twilight, I hope you're ready for your test."

>A test today? But I didn't study?! I've been trying to genetically modify crops into super warriors!

"Twilight Sparkle, are those your underpants?"

Indeed they are

>AHHH! This is the worst possible thing!

"Sister, I believe your student needs to be given a lesson on the new Lightspeed Panties!"

-----

>LUUUUUUUUNAAAAAAAA!!!

meanwhile

'Ah'm mighty impressed wit' all the bits you've earned for Equestria, but where'd ya git 'em. Really? 're you sellin' drugs'

"Nay, Applejack, we have simply begun work as a spokesmare for the many fine products both within and without Equestria. And we would take this moment to inform thee of the newest formula of Magi-Clean! The cleaning power has been doubled!"

'... How much does it kill ya'll inside to say that?'

"If you could claim Celestia as thine own sister, thou wouldst know we art already dead inside."
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