The moonlight shone brightly down on the water, as Neotails gazed into his reflection. "I wonder where Doom is...she said to meet here at 12...I probably should've assumed she meant lunch now I think about it." He pondered over this, and then came to the conclusion not to eat a taco while reading a note again.
"Neo, are you here...?" Doomsday whispered as she tripped over a rock. Neo caught her, they seemed to stare at each other longingly, then snapped out of it, both of them blushing. "So, you okay, doom?"
"I'm fine, Neo. Look, I can't stay out here long, I have to go wrestle some alligators and fry some shrimp with my family soon."
"Okay, let's make this quick. What was it you wanted to tell me?"
"Well, you see...I think I may...like you, Neo." Doom then looked down and noticed Neo's manwood sticking out and prodding at her leg. "Is something wrong?"
"No...nothing's wron-ARGH!" Neo screeched as he saw his clearly visible hard liquourice whip sticking out. "I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-MMMPH!"
Neo's words were cut short as Doom's Auzzie lips clashed with Neo's chocolate lips. The only thing going through both their minds was-
"Oh, I'm gonna get me some hawt buttsex tonight!"
Then, Kage jumped out from the trees, wearing an irish hat and green clothes. "PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!" He shouted, as he dived in the air, knocking them both off the edge and into the water.
"Shit, well that's the end of this fic, then."

END CHAPTER 1




CHAPTER 2

Kage sat on a stree stump and pondered...
"I wonder what's going to happen now? And why the fuck am I irish?"
Neo and Doom stared at each other underwater.
"Doom, I've never seen more beautiful eyes in my life."
"Eyes!? I never seen a fucking 20Inch cock prod my leg before!"
"Anyway, while we're down here and can breathe for some reason...you wanna do it?"
Neo's question was answered by a firm grasp around in nautical netherstick. He gave Doom a sexy look, she responded with a confused look,
 as Neo saw, to his horror, that it wasn't Doomsday grabbing his cock, but a GIANT SQUID!
"ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed, as the creature swung Neo around vigorously, the suction cups keeping a firm grip on Neo's vastly curling pink chippy-chippy.
"Be careful, if you swing it round to much, two things will happen! First of all, his gigantic cactus cock will fall off, and second YOU'LL CAUSE A TIME PARADOX!"
"OH, SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" The Nig-Squid shouted, as time itself began to explode.
But far above the water, there was one who was oblivious to this, as Kage skipped through the field,
 carrying a bucket of crumpets and dressed in a pink princess outfit fit for a tea party.
 As he froliced, he shouted "THE HILLS ARE ALIVE, WITH THE FORCE OF MANGRIP!"

END CHAPTER 2





CHAPTER 3

Doom awoke, finding herself in the scottish house of Cockly McCocktus, a haggis sitting in front of her. Neo was already eating deep into his haggis, the squid still not letting go of Neo's deflated tartan twig.
"Boy, this haggis sure is delicious!" He proclaimed.
A man walked in, with an angry face. It seemed his name was haggis.
"Are you callin' me delicious? Because I SURE DON'T LIKE HOMOSEXUALS!"
"No, sir, that isn't what I meant."
"Say, is that a MOTHAFUCKIN' NIG SQUID attatched to your phallus there?"
"Why, yes it i-ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH SHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"
They sped outside, and looked around in awe.
"That paradox appears to have led us into an alternate universe where Kage is a nice guy and danju actually has a penith!"
"That's nice and all." Neo said. "But incase you haven't noticed, there's A FUCKING NIGGA SQUID TRYING TO FORCEFULLY REMOVE MY ELONGATED LOVE WAND ARGHHHHHHHH!"
"DAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYM, Boi, chill it."
Saying that, the squid promptly exploded.
"Now that everything seems normal, Neo...can we please get to the LONG AWAITED LOVIN SESSION!?"
"We would be able to if A FOX WASN'T GNAWING MY BALLS OFF AND CAUSING A FUCKING HUGE PARADOX AND TURNING EVERYTHING INCLUDING THAT MAN OVER THERE INTO A COCKTUS!"
"Ach, lassie, watch oot for that whirlwind of sand!"
"ARGH SHIT I HAVE A SANDY VAGINA GET IT OUT ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M A FUCKING AUZZIE BITCH YOU MUST OBEY ME OR FEEL THE WRATH OF MY COCKNOSE!"

END CHAPTER 3