I can't believe I wrote this

LOCAL STUDENT GRANTED RESTRAINING ORDER
Online Trolling Gets Real

Dateline, Tokyo. Mr. Katsuragi Kouhei, a second year high school student at the Advanced Nurturing High School here in Tokyo, is finally breathing easy after a Metropolitan Court granted him a restraining order against an online troll. Over the past weeks and months this troll, who goes by his online handle "Xevor", had repeatedly harassed and belittled Mr. Katsuragi on the school's online social network, and recently started going as far as following him around in real life, pointing and conspicuously laughing every time Mr. Katsuragi made even a tiny mistake.

Mr. Katsuragi, when reached for comment, said he was "relieved that justice had been done," but refused to elaborate further, deferring instead to the school's representative in the case, Professor Mashima. "The School takes the safety and security of its students very seriously," Mr. Mashima said, "and we are glad that the court recognized that Mr. Xevor's actions went beyond the pale. I am also happy to see the court mandate mental health treatment for Mr. Xevor, because it is clear to me that only a seriously deranged individual could do something like this."

Under the terms of the restraining order, Mr. Xevor is not allowed within 200 feet of the Advanced Nurturing High School, or any other children's educational institution for that matter. He is also prohibited from accessing the school's social network or posting any content about Mr. Katsuragi in any public forum. In order to understand the true cost of Mr. Xevor's actions, we reached out to some students of the school.

"At first I thought it was kinda funny, y'know,", said Mr. Ike Kanji, a student in Mr. Katsuragi's year, "He used to post things like, 'mickey mouse event' and 'bottled again!', like, stuff that made no sense but it sounded funny. And I really lost it when he started calling him 'Cucksuragi' and 'baldie', cus', he is kind of bald.

"But I felt like it got creepy when he started posting 'Daily Cucksuragi Thread's and 'Katsuragi Siblings Fun Facts', like he would go into completely unrelated posts and try to make it about how stupid Katsuragi was. People got tired of him and starting making fun of him, but he thought we were laughing _with_ him and just did it more. Eventually we told him to **** off but he would post the 🚮 emoji and take it to another thread."

To understand how this affected Mr. Katsuragi, we spoke to his classmates. Mr Kaneda Satoru said, "Katsuragi is a chill dude and he doesn't deserve this. Having him around has been good for our class. Ryuuen is kind of a loose cannon, and Katsuragi has been mellowing him down, working to make our class more stable and trustworthy. It sucks that one voyeur can ruin his life and make him so anxious, and I hope the restraining order helps him get his life back to normal."

"Yeah, and the things he said about Katsuragi were so hurtful!" cut in Mr. Ishizaki Daichi, also a classmate, "Like 'Baldie'. He has alopecia, and while he may not show it, he can be quite sensitive about it!"

"Uh, yeah, but anyway, the real question is," Mr. Kaneda continued, "who is he? Why is he doing this?"

And that's the mystery here. The most confusing thing about the scale and intensity of Mr. Xevor's trolling is that he is neither a student of the school nor associated with it in any capacity. There should have been no reason he even _knew_ about Mr. Katsuragi, let alone dog him with such persistence. Why is he so intent on "exposing" Mr. Katsuragi?

Perhaps the rigorous nature of the Advanced Nurturing High School, which puts its students through pitched special tests and cutthroat competition between classes, has something to do with it. We spoke to Ms. Sakayanagi Arisu, once classmate and present rival of Mr. Katsuragi.

"No, I didn't have anything to do with that creep," she immediately responded, "but don't you think he was saying the truth? Mr. Katsuragi is a deadweight, and I'm glad he decided to go sink another class instead. I don't see why Mr. Xevor pointing out that Mr. Katsuragi was a natural born loser is a problem. Hmm, maybe he suffers from premature ejaculation, too. Did you know that one in five men finish within _ten_ seconds? All over the world, girls are getting tricked into the worst sex of their- Ehh, Kamuro?!"

"THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!"

Is the existence of "online peeping toms" like Mr. Xevor just a consequence of our modern, hyperconnected life? At any rate, after a long time, Mr. Katsuragi will finally be able to have a good night's sleep.